How to let go of the person you love from your thoughts, soul, heart, life: advice from a psychologist, exercises, meditation

From our article you will learn how you can let go of a person from your heart and survive this breakup as easily as possible.

Throughout his life, a person experiences many encounters. Meetings are always good. But, unfortunately, after meetings there are also separations. Breaking up is always difficult, especially when you have to do it with the people you love and are closest to. Where can I find the strength to let someone go? How to do this when your heart is breaking from pain - read about these and other points in the article.

How to let a person go from the soul, life - what does this mean?

Letting a person go from your life does not mean taking and forgetting the person once and for all. Let's look at what it means to let someone go:

letting go means becoming free from it;
be able to forgive;
say thank you for everything, because there were also good moments that you experienced;
you should not control his life, monitor what he does, track his life on social networks;
start enjoying life;
open up to new people, because there will be a person who will love you and you will love him all your life.

Letting go means becoming free

Swap places

No wonder they say that as soon as you forget a man, he will immediately return. This is not just an old wives' saying. Anyone who wants to achieve love, the return of the past, must understand that partners must equally be dependent on each other. If one side is too overwhelmed with attention, then it will give back the same amount of care less. Therefore, as much as you want to be accepted, loved, appreciated, learn to appreciate, love, accept yourself. Stop trying to catch up, convince them of love, give them the opportunity to feel how things could be different.

At this moment the fun begins. When someone who is confident in his exclusivity does not find the usual support, his self-image begins to crumble. In this case, the crisis cannot be avoided; perhaps the man will come back with claims and conflicts. After all, if one side becomes independent and confident, the other feels discomfort. At this moment, you should not destroy your built-up understanding of yourself, or succumb to instilling feelings of guilt. He must experience an internal conflict, and then realize how wrong his assessment of what was happening was.

Is it possible to let go of a loved one easily?

At first glance, it seems that letting go of a loved one is very easy, you just need to break the connection, but no, it is much more difficult. To break a connection with a person, you must first understand how you feel about him and why he has sunk into your soul.

If a person did something bad to you, or hurt you, then you will involuntarily feel a sense of resentment. This feeling destroys a person; it is difficult to live with this burden on the soul and needs to be gotten rid of. The first thing you should do to easily let go of your loved one is to forgive him , at first it will not be easy, but time heals, and in the near future it will become easier.
Very often, when people start dating, they attribute qualities to each other that they do not possess. Against this background, expectations begin to form that may not always be met. In such a situation, you fall in love and get used not to the person himself, but to the created image. There is no need to create illusions, you need to accept a person as he is, and everyone has shortcomings.
There are often people who are owners who believe: if it’s mine, then it’s mine. But people are not things that can only belong to one person, people belong to themselves, and have the right to do as they want. If a person decides to leave you, then he has the right to do so , accept his choice and continue to live for yourself .
Another reason why separation is difficult for a person is that he tries in every possible way to keep or return his loved one. In this situation, you do not open up to other people, meetings, you live in the past. Do not do this. There are several sayings about this: “You can’t be nice by force.” “If you endure it, you will fall in love.” Rave. Now, if, for example, you are forcibly offered something to do something that you do not want, or to eat something that you do not like, you will not love it even by force. Trying to keep someone by force will just make you look pathetic, become depressed, lose interest in life and finally waste valuable time . You should only get the person back if you are sure that he is also suffering from the breakup.
Thank your loved one for the happy moments you had. It is very important .

It is for these reasons that it is difficult to forget the feelings you had for a person, hopes for the future and the person himself. After going through a breakup, people gain an experience that will last a lifetime. Even if this experience is painful, you don’t need to look for blame in space or fate, you just need to stop getting attached to people and learn to build other relationships.

If you want to understand what is truly yours, let go of everything, and what is yours will remain with you

What not to do

Traditionally, it’s worth starting with a clause about what you shouldn’t do immediately after a breakup, so that you don’t regret it for the rest of your life. The one whose partner was everything in his life is left alone with himself, with feelings, or rather with aching pain, which, it seems, cannot be overshadowed by anything. Constant thoughts about a partner, an expression of one’s own worthlessness, uselessness, make one weak, vulnerable, and uninteresting. In this state, not the best ideas usually come to mind:

suffering, begging for a return are obviously disastrous options - in the first days the ex feels a surge of freedom, independence, and cannot be overcome by pity;
running to a bar for adventure means cutting off the possibility of renewing communication;
locking yourself at home, burning photographs in order to survive the first stage of “liberation” - there is a danger that ordinary grief will develop into protracted depression;
building a new love - without dealing with the past, you will only be able to drag the burden of worries into the future and torment yourself and the new guy;
overeating and alcohol - you obviously cannot get happiness by destroying yourself.

How to let a person go from your thoughts, heart: tips

To free consciousness, a person needs to let go of the past correctly. To do this, you should let the person go from your thoughts, but first you need to go through several stages:

The first and most important thing is emotions. You need to let them out, not keep them inside. You can get angry, cry, scream. This will be the first step to letting the person go from your thoughts;
Sincerely wish your ex happiness. Mentally say thank you to this person for everything, and move on with your life;
There is no need to look for the guilty, or delve into yourself, you just need to calm down;
Many girls, having gone through a breakup, decide to radically change their appearance: dye and cut their hair, change their wardrobe, and lifestyle. You can start going to the gym, this will give you self-confidence;
We need to delete the past, in the truest sense of the word. Change your number so as not to wait for a call from your ex, put it away or even throw away all the gifts, photos together and not get carried away with sad films; on the contrary, watch light films, comedies only with a good ending;
Write your desires in a notebook or on a piece of paper and start making them come true;
If you feel better when you eat cake or ice cream, eat it;
Start traveling. New experiences are the best way to let someone go.
Dream of true love with someone new.

If you let go of the past, you will get the future
. Learn to enjoy life and see happiness in the little things. If you follow all these steps, you will definitely feel better. The whole process may take some time, the sooner you start, the faster you will free yourself from this burden. A relationship should be a joy for both.

He came back and then he left

The so-called vicious circle, when a man, in principle, does not want a relationship, he then disappears, but again wants to return everything. Moreover, his return usually occurs on a grand scale, with promises of eternal love, apologies on his knees, and flowers. And leaving can be either enchanting with a scandal, or quiet, without explanation. There can be several manifestations of such “love”:

Abusive relationships. A man gets high by inflicting pain; he needs a surge of emotions, which he feeds on like a vampire. In such a union there will be no chubby babies, no lavish wedding, just a repetition of pain and momentary joy. You need to not just let such a person go, but hope that he never returns. And it will disappear only when it does not find a response and recharge.
"Spare." In addition to inveterate abusers, there are also practical guys who leave an alternate airfield after breaking up. He met a new passion, but at the same time he is in no hurry to leave with all his socks. He can periodically write, call, and maybe drop by for the night. It is necessary to realize that love does not happen temporarily or on weekends. There is no need to wait for him to make up his mind, this is humiliating, he needs to be let go and forgotten.
Owner. Another specimen who, even after a breakup, needs to know that there is no replacement for him. He does not love, does not care, but at the same time he is jealous, scandalous, literally strangling with total control. This kind of behavior should not be confused with love, it has nothing in common. Even if at first such treatment may be flattering, over time you will want to howl at night from the lack of personal space.

How to let a person go: advice from a psychologist

When a person is unable to cope independently from thoughts, from the pain caused by a relationship, when he has reached a dead end, it is better to turn to a qualified psychologist. It is the psychologist who will be able to help.

You need to tell the specialist as much information as possible so that he can provide you with more complete assistance—help, not support. There is no need to hide anything from him, be open with him. It is very important to go through all the stages of breaking up a relationship with a person so that in the future your emotions do not get the better of you.

Attachment is negative energy

Psychologist's advice:

Most often, psychologists advise starting to devote more time to loved ones and relatives, because your loved one took up most of your time, and there was no time left for others. Go visit your relatives, spend the weekend with them, go out of town.
Invite your girlfriend to the cinema, sit with her in a cafe, spend time and money on shopping, go to an amusement park and ride a carousel, you need new emotions, a complete reboot. The next important advice that psychologists give is to find a hobby, a new hobby, maybe even open a business, become a volunteer or care for homeless pets, help orphans. Psychologists say that feelings of resentment will crowd out true love for a cause or others.
Meditation. This method of psychotherapy is one of the most common ways to clear your mind of everything unnecessary, because after a breakup, a person, and mostly girls, begin to think that they will never be able to truly love again, because they are afraid to experience pain again, a feeling of loss , inseparability. But without love, life becomes gray and not very interesting.
There is no need to engage in self-flagellation, you need to start therapy with the help of meditation, the methods of which we will discuss in more detail a little below. Based on all the advice, in conclusion, psychologists advise finding harmony. In order to protect yourself in the future from relationships that destroy your life, you need to learn to live in harmony with yourself. You can meet a real, worthy person only if you accept and love yourself.

Only by loving yourself will you find harmony

Why do you need to learn to let go?

Many people don't understand how you can let go of the person you love. They quite sincerely believe that with the right efforts they can achieve a reciprocal feeling. In other words, make a person fall in love. This is where the main mistake lies.

No matter how many times you are offered apples or other foods that you hate, you will not be able to love them. Perhaps, out of pity or respect, you will eat a piece, but eat them every day? Well, I do not. Even if you paint apples orange and pretend that they are oranges, you won’t be able to deceive your taste preferences for long.

If these arguments don't seem compelling enough to you, consider this:

No matter how hard you try, no matter what you do, you cannot force a person to respond to your feelings.
Instead of emotions of happiness, you will only feel suffering, self-pity, dissatisfaction, and resentment.
A person who is being forced to do something against his own will will sooner or later become irritable, lose his moral veneer, and begin to treat you with disrespect. Eventually, your self-esteem will decrease and you will become accustomed to being humiliated and flattered.
All you are doing is prolonging the agony.
Sooner or later, a depressed state will lead to depression and health problems. Some, unable to let go, commit suicide.
You have probably already noticed that the world around you and your own life have become practically uninteresting to you? If you don’t stop, you may soon lose your job, drop out of college, completely neglect yourself, and “slide to the very bottom.” Is this what you dreamed about, what you strived for?
In attempts to retain the person who is leaving, you lose precious time. The sooner you let him go, the sooner you will get a chance for a new, happy life and mutual love.

Important. Relationships should bring joy and happiness. Remember, every person is worthy of love. You should not try to please, change yourself for the sake of another. Hundreds of people are ready to love you for real.

How to let a person go: rules of meditation, exercises

There are two effective ways of meditation, let's look at them. The first method is aimed at yourself:

First you need to find a quiet, secluded place so that no one can disturb you.
Take a comfortable position and dim the lights. Psychologists advise using scented candles with soothing scents, such as orange, cedar, lavender, ylang-ylang, bergamot, mint, incense.
Close your eyes and concentrate. Focus on your breathing, it should be rhythmic, inhale and exhale, and inhale and exhale again. This breathing exercise will be pleasant for your body.
Your thoughts will most likely distract you. This is normal. But still try to concentrate and feel yourself. You must find in which part of the body the feeling is hidden - love. When you find it, radiate warmth from there and try to give it to a loved one or animal.
Having completed all the steps correctly, you will feel warmth in the part of the body in which you found love. You will want to do something good for the person or animal to whom you have directed the light of your love.

The best remedy for resentment is forgiveness.
The second method is aimed at breaking the connection between people.

Sit comfortably in a quiet place, calm down and concentrate.
Closing your eyes, imagine that you are at the top of the mountain, and your offender is at the foot.
Concentrate on it, imagine it in front of you in flesh, down to the smallest detail.
Try to feel everything you feel for him.
Feel what connects you, a thin thread or a thick rope, what part of the body this thread connects.
Try to analyze what this person lacks, like character traits, core, courage.
Imagine another person in front of you who has all the qualities. How did you feel? Joy? Warm? You felt pleasant and cozy.
Stay focused, lift your head up and look at the sky. Turn to the Lord with a request to give you a person with those qualities that the previous person did not possess.
Ask someone like this stranger who made you smile in your subconscious.
Then look at the man at the foot of the mountain, he no longer seems to you like God, whom you exalted above everyone, he is now just a gray mouse.
If you want, you can talk to him, he gave you any experience. You can ask him for forgiveness, even if he himself is to blame, and forgive him.
Now you will feel the connection between you breaking, cut it or cut it with scissors, exhale, now you are free.

Do this exercise every day, and then you will feel that love has crowded out resentment from your heart and thoughts. No matter how much we love a person, sometimes there are times when we need to let him go. There is no need to resist it, do not be afraid of the new. It's better to just let it go.

Useful practice

Most likely, you think that when the person leaves, you will lose the ability to love (“he broke my heart,” “he tore it out and took it with him”). It is important to realize that this is not the case. Love is a wonderful feeling that will always be with you . To get back to a healthy feeling of love and happiness, try the following exercise:

When left alone, sit comfortably in a chair (there should be no extraneous noise or bright light).
Close your eyes and concentrate. Where is your feeling, your ability to love?
Find this place and then fix your attention.
Now imagine that a glow is emanating from this point. Point it at a cat or dog, a child, a wall, or a plant.
What do you want to do?

Surely you will feel the desire to clean up the house, please your child with sweets, or walk the dog (depending on where the “light” was directed). Do the practice daily, and soon the painful feeling of resentment will replace real, joyful love for others.