How to forget the guy you love with 10 steps?

They say that parting is a little death. And a girl who has just broken up with her lover will agree with this.

This is a huge and physically tangible loss that gnaws from the inside... It seems that it will never get easier.

How to forget a guy? Get rid of the eternal feeling of loneliness and melancholy? How long will it take to heal? Let's be frank.

The heart is not a piece of paper, and memories of the past cannot be easily erased with an eraser! Yes, there will be sleepless nights, and tears in the pillow, and lasting sadness...

Only the sooner you can accept the fact that there is no longer room for this person in your life, the easier it is to say goodbye to the past.

Distancei

Stop seeing him. He offered to remain friends and every now and then calls you out when he’s bored? To hell with such friendship!

Cut off any contact with him. If you broke up on a good note, tell him firmly and confidently that you need to be alone. Your resources are depleted and you are unable to maintain friendships. Thank him for all the good things that happened between you and move away.

If a guy pesters you with calls and messages, accuses you of all your sins and continues to cause you suffering, block him on all social networks.

Don't answer his calls and don't call him yourself. Do not write. Don't follow his social media pages. If you have the opportunity, change jobs and avoid attending parties where you might meet him.

If you cannot completely limit communication with him, avoid discussing personal topics. You can communicate on work topics and meet on business, if necessary.

Distance yourself from this guy. To the maximum. It is difficult to forget a person who is an eyesore for you every day.

How to survive betrayal?

If the breakup is your joint decision, it is easier to come to terms with it. Unexpected departure and betrayal are a sneaky stab in the back.

There is a black hole in the heart and universal resentment not only for the guy, but for all men in general. For a woman, betrayal has its consequences:

• low self-esteem;
• thoughts that she is unworthy of love and will always be lonely;
• loss of trust in the male sex in general;
• reluctance to communicate with other people;
• depressive states;
• nervous breakdowns;
• complexes.

Many girls also regard separation as a betrayal. In fact, this is true. The person betrayed your faith in him, your love, and failed to appreciate you.

It takes time to piece yourself together. It is important not to allow yourself to give up and go into prolonged depression.

Don’t look for an answer to the question: “Why did this happen?”, don’t cultivate a feeling of guilt in yourself.

Stop deliberately hurting yourself by thinking about how your relationship would develop further.

Do not give free rein to anger and aggression, try not to take it out on loved ones. After all, if a guy betrayed you, this does not mean at all that you are surrounded by enemies.

If you can’t restrain yourself, temporarily limit communication, but don’t offend people in vain.

Right to suffer2

It's normal to feel pain when breaking up with someone you love. It doesn't matter how long your relationship lasted. And did they last at all?

If you, tired of unrequited love, decided to let this guy go, allow yourself to experience this pain. Disappointment, resentment and anger from one’s own powerlessness.

Allow yourself to drink up this entire cocktail of negative feelings and emotions. Imagine that this is a kind of emotional surfing - catch a wave and surrender to it. Eventually, you will find yourself on the shore.

Breaking up with a man is a whirlwind of emotions

Every woman is created for love, no matter how banal it may sound.
Attachment and intimacy are a kind of love chemistry of the brain that affects the entire body. Therefore, parting and the realization that you love unrequitedly is severe stress, accompanied by pain and anxiety. When a relationship ends with a guy you love unrequitedly, you begin to experience a number of unpleasant emotions.

1. Shock. The body becomes imbalanced. The absence of a beloved man nearby provokes anxiety and dissatisfaction. There is a reluctance to believe in what is happening, and orientation in reality is lost. There are no prospects, no way out of the current situation. There is a desire to return the man you love
   .
2. Anxiety. A lack of positive emotions provokes a violation of emotional balance. A woman begins to experience a whole complex of fears and anxieties, driving herself into a dark corner. There is a fear of being left alone, of losing significance, the meaning of life without the guy she loves.
3. Pain. The secondary somatosensory cortex, which is responsible for the occurrence of physical sensations, is activated. A broken heart and a broken leg affect the same areas of the brain. Therefore, the pain of breaking up with a man you love unrequitedly is real. Many girls begin to experience physical discomfort.
4. Feeling guilty. Every action is conditioned by something. The girl is trying to find the reason. As a rule, initially in oneself. The search for flaws in one’s own appearance and character begins. As a result, feelings of inferiority may arise.
5. Anger, resentment. The girl gradually realizes that she is not to blame.
   The
   guy you love
   unrequitedly acted meanly, humiliated, hurt your feelings. The blame is shifted onto the shoulders of the ex. Now I don’t like the man, but cause anger and aggression.
6. Apathy, depression. A state of hopelessness. The girl loses the meaning of life without a man, sees no prospects, continues to love, and is incredibly bored. Anxious thoughts arise. The understanding that it is impossible to change anything flows into an unwillingness to live.

Stress from a breakup can lead to risky behavior. Some, trying to forget their ex-man, rush to extremes - alcohol, drugs. This increases the risk of accidents with serious consequences or death.

Support group3

This guy is no longer a part of your life. But you have people who really love you. Spend more time with family and close friends. They have seen everything you have been through and are there to support you.

Should you discuss the topic of your failed relationship with them? It's up to you. Try not to dwell on it.

Do you have no close people at all? Read the stories of girls who experienced the same thing as you. Read blogs, leave comments. Millions of girls around the world have gone through this. They suffered and thought that they would never meet their love again. And after some time they found their happiness and remembered the past with a grin.

Keep a diary. Paper or electronic. Express your emotions and feelings without censorship. You can write this guy a letter - this is also a very popular practice, which is recommended by many psychologists. There is no need to send a letter, so don’t hold back and don’t be shy in your expressions.

Phases of experiencing relationship loss

According to the American psychiatrist E. Kübler-Ross, no matter what emotions and experiences overcome the girl, she is destined to go through five stages of rehabilitation after a breakup in order to completely forget. A girl can experience similar emotions with initially unrequited love. Whether you like it or not, for full healing after a breakup you need to go through all the stages; you can’t skip through any of them. But everyone has the power to speed up the process.

1. Negation. Lack of desire to perceive reality, to take parting with the man you love seriously. The hope is that the guy will return, everything will return to normal.
2. Expression of feelings. A storm of emotions overcomes. Anger, pain, fear, despair. Giving free rein to your feelings means speeding up the healing process after a breakup. Don't be afraid. Emotions are a detector of your state of mind; they help you forget the man you love .
3. Dialogue, bargaining. Relationship scenarios are scrolled through, excluding separation. The girl figures out how to bring back, and not forget, the man she loves unrequitedly. He is trying to make a deal with his conscience, with his self-esteem.
4. Depression. It comes with full awareness that the breakup has happened, the ex has left forever. After a breakup, there is a feeling of despair - how to live on, is there any meaning.
5. Adoption. The girl gradually begins to realize that her ex-man should be forgotten
   . Life goes on. Bright thoughts replace dark ones, the world around us again plays with bright colors.

Each girl goes through the healing journey in her own way. How long each phase will last depends on the duration of the relationship, the degree of emotional attachment, and the reason for the breakup. When trying to forget the man you love , both a smooth and abrupt transition from one stage to another is possible. Sometimes, after completing a stage, you can return to the previous one.

Gratitude4

It is difficult to thank a person for bringing you pain and suffering. But hate won't get you far.

Perhaps he taught you something, opened your eyes to some things and changed your picture of the world. Gave you wonderful memories or helped you find your life’s work.

And even if you loved him with unrequited love, he gave you very valuable experience. Thanks to him, you strived to become better. Thanks to him, you experienced such a range of feelings.

Focus on the good. Thank him for everything that happened between you. And for something that never happened.

Any relationship in our life is an experience. And it depends only on you whether this experience will be useful or not.

Basic ways to forget

If you feel resentment in your soul from the thought that your loved one does not want to be near you, you need to get rid of it. The following method will restore peace of mind: you need to distract yourself and direct your thoughts in a positive direction. Girls often experience difficulties and complain to psychologists, saying: I can’t forget my ex-boyfriend. If thoughts increasingly arise in your head that you want to forget your ex quickly, then you should listen to a few practical tips to help you cope with your feelings.

READ How to understand that a guy has stopped loving you: signs of behavior

Method 1: Get Your Energy Back

Love experiences take a lot of strength and energy from a person. If you manage to replenish these resources, life will soon sparkle with new colors. Our favorite activities give us a lot of energy. Just take a bubble bath, visit a massage therapist, watch a positive movie, or take time to meet with friends. The main thing is that these things bring you joy and pleasure.

You gave a lot of energy to your past relationships. Perhaps you were together for several years, but they left forever. Now is the time to allow yourself something for which there was no time before. Find joy in every day and create happy moments for yourself.

The following exercise is effective in replenishing energy: write down in a notebook a list of activities that make you very happy. It could be anything - a trip to a tea shop, a visit to a concert of your favorite band, an evening with a great book. You should not include alcoholic drinks and gastronomic preferences in this list. All this gives only short-term pleasure and can harm your health. Try to allow yourself 3-4 things from this list every day, then there will be no time left for despondency and longing for love.

Method 2: fill the time

May your day be filled with things to do - both important and pleasant. Pay close attention to current problems and challenges. Write a plan for the day and try to follow it. If by the evening you collapse from fatigue, it means you managed to achieve your goal. Very quickly, thoughts of unhappy love will stop visiting you. Praise yourself often for getting things done. This will support you and prevent you from deviating from your intended path.

READ How to get over a breakup with a guy: practical recommendations and advice from psychologists

It is important that your daily activities bring you closer to your global goals. Treat this process as something important. Consciously complete each item on your list. If you don’t have goals yet, restore your energy and calm down. Soon you will understand what you need to do in life. You can also include routine tasks in your daily lists - sorting out your closet with clothes, vacuuming, replanting flowers, etc. This also distracts you from meaningless worries.

Method 3: Be in the present

Another surefire way to quickly forget a guy is to focus on the present and future. Constant thoughts about breaking up, about a man who doesn’t love you, don’t allow you to develop and just live normally. You have the power to turn your back on the past and make friends with the present moment. To do this, constantly focus on your current activities and affairs. While walking, enjoy the movement, your steps, the air, the sounds and smells.

Learn to monitor your breathing. It helps you cope with stress and makes your life more meaningful. At first, habitual thoughts will attack you. By force of will, transfer them into a positive direction.

After a few weeks, you will learn not to think about your lover and begin to enjoy life.

Method 4: dating

You may not feel like getting into a relationship right now, so take your time. But you can simply open up to new acquaintances. Start intentionally meeting people. This is another effective method on how to quickly and forever forget your ex. It improves your mood and helps you feel loved and wanted. You will also turn your attention to other men. Perhaps some of them will interest you.

READ What to do if a man leaves a pregnant woman: finding out the reasons and finding a solution

When you are ready, you will choose the right person for you. If you have many men you know in your life, this will increase your chances of making the right decision. If it’s difficult for you to meet and communicate with new people, read psychological literature on this topic. You can simply attend events that interest you and communicate with people. This way you can easily establish relationships with men.

Method 5: Secondary Benefits

Perhaps you can't get unrequited love out of your head because your subconscious mind thinks it's beneficial. It is important to determine what exactly the benefit is and understand that you can achieve the goal without suffering. You can do this with a written exercise. Set a timer for half an hour. Take a piece of paper and write on top: “What does suffering give me for...”. Next, write down all the thoughts that come to your mind. For 30 minutes, do not be distracted by anything else. It is important to write by hand rather than type text.

If after half an hour you do not understand why suffering for your “beloved” man is beneficial for you, continue writing without being distracted. It's important to get to the point. Don’t describe your suffering; think exclusively about the benefits you get from the situation. One of these benefits may be the craving for experiences. This happens to people who are prone to masochism and have low self-esteem.

Once your list of benefits is ready, think about how you can achieve what you want in a different way. If you like to experience suffering, you can get a good dose from melodramatic films, sad books or music. These are less dangerous methods.

If you can't do the exercise the first time, come back to it after a few days. Repeat it until you see results.

READ How to stop thinking about a man who doesn't need you

Method 6: Raise your head to the sky

There is another interesting way for a girl to forget her ex-boyfriend. Try to change your usual position to one in which you cannot be sad. For example, look at the sky and spread your arms wide. Your body will receive a signal to enjoy life. When you laugh, the effect will be the same, so go to the mirror and smile sweetly at your reflection for a few minutes. At such moments you don’t want to remember anything negative at all, but constructive thoughts and solutions to problems will begin to come to your mind. There will come a state when it seems that everything can be done.

Method 7: Pretend that you already love yourself

When we constantly replay thoughts about negative events in our heads, we show dislike for ourselves. If you begin to treat yourself with understanding and warmth, your worries will begin to subside. A simple psychology exercise can start this process. Place a chair near you. Mentally place a person on it who is the best version of you. This girl has already achieved success and has great self-esteem. She is confident and loves herself very much. What does this woman look like? What thoughts are in her head? What's going on in her life?

When you have a clear picture of this girl, take her chair. May the best version of you remain with you forever. When negative thoughts begin to come into your head, remember her and think about what she would do in the current situation.

If you manage to love yourself, sad thoughts will no longer bother you, because why torment yourself with worries and suffering. We are trying to protect our loved one from this. And if he is ourselves, then we need to protect ourselves.

Method 8: life is work

You should not treat your life with disdain. Thoughts play a huge role in it. They have a direct impact on the reality that surrounds us. Imagine that your job is to change your destiny with your thoughts. At work, we do things that generate profit. Likewise, positive thoughts bring health and well-being. By constantly thinking about your goals, they become achievable and tangible. On the contrary, negative thoughts only bring losses.

Consciously direct the vector of your thoughts in a positive direction. It is not always possible to do this once. Our thoughts are the same habit that you can work with. There is no point in remembering the past. Train your brain to think positively. Understand that you are not the inner voice, but the one who hears it. You have the power to stop thinking about what causes you suffering. Let your thoughts inspire and enrich you, but it takes work.

Method 9: Focus

A person directs his energy to where his attention is. When you start thinking in a negative way, your body's cells begin to age. Energy, beauty and strength disappear irrevocably. Think about whether you want to give your energy and a significant part of your life to a guy who doesn’t care about you?

You can imagine that at the moment when you think about your ex-boyfriend or failed lover, you send him 5 thousand rubles. In reality, the price of these thoughts is your beauty, youth, well-being, health. By presenting the bill, it will be easier to understand that you are losing something. It’s better to “invest” this amount in a more profitable business. Give your energy and attention to people who deserve it and can return and increase your investment.

Method 10: Become an independent person

If you experience loneliness and hopelessness, and perceive life without your loved one as torture, then get out of this state. When you have an addiction to a man, get rid of it. You can very well be happy on your own.

READ How to forget a loved one after a breakup: advice from a psychologist

A good way to switch is shopping. Buy yourself a beautiful dress, change your hairstyle to a more stylish one, go on a trip. Even a cup of delicious coffee, drunk in a cozy cafe, will help you feel better. You may not feel the update right away. Major changes take time. When you feel independent and simply happy, you will begin to attract successful men.

Ideal5

So, now you need to find out why he captivated you so much. Why him? Why not the guy who tried so long and hard to get your attention?

Remember your first impression of him. Did he initially attract you, or did it happen gradually?

Remember how we talked about how any relationship is a valuable experience? Now we will try to turn a traumatic experience into a useful one.

Make a list of the qualities you like about him. Don't forget to also include some of his habits and mannerisms.

Now you have before your eyes an approximate list of what attracts you in men. “Handsome”, “confident”, “he has a good sense of humor” - this is not enough, think further.

“Can’t sit idle”, “knows what he wants from life”, “knows how to make money”, “an extrovert and the life of the party” - now you can work with this.

Accept the fact that everything in this world is temporary

• Your object of adoration can always change . You need to understand the fact that months and years fly by, a person can change. He cannot remain the same person all the time. You yourself change throughout your life.
• It's the same with life . Everything in life is temporary and changes. There is nothing that remains unchanged. Everything has the end.
• People don't like it and resist it . People don't like it and don't want to face the fact that they can control everything. They cling to moments, to people.
• If you continue to cling , you will continue to lose and experience heaviness and bitterness. If you have already managed to find a good person for yourself, then you will succeed again.
• There's no reason why you can't create a new, strong relationship. Accept your journey called life as it comes. Thus, you will no longer need any psychological methods to force yourself to stop loving a person.

Antihero of your novel6

Now remember his shortcomings. About those qualities that you simply could not put up with.

Now is the time to come down to earth and remember that your lover is far from perfect.

Here you have another list. The anti-top qualities of a guy that you are not ready to put up with under any circumstances. In this list, also include qualities that are not shortcomings as such, but are simply unbearable for you.

If it seems to you that he is absolute perfection, we have to disappoint you - you are seriously mistaken. Either he skillfully pretended, or you don’t know him at all and fell in love not with him, but with the ideal image that you created in your head.

Why is it sometimes difficult to let go of the man you love?

Women tend to become very attached to their partner . If love was at the level of passion, and the relationship was built on strong emotions, then after parting they will be missed.

It’s hard to forget a manipulator with a psychopathic character type. Despite the toxic type of relationship, it is quite difficult to break up with such a partner; most often, after a while he reminds himself again when he realizes that the “victim” has begun to heal and elude him.

If contacts are maintained in any case, then it will be more difficult to forget and let the man go, because any communication reminds of the person, the time spent together, and joint unrealized plans.

Self-development7

Right now. Don't wait for Monday, the first of January, or your birthday. Start changing your life for the better right now.

I bet while you were pining for this guy and shedding tears, your life slowly began to fall apart? It's time to fix it.

The word “self-development” is too loud and vast. It is frightening and disorienting. We need specifics. Make a list of everything that doesn't suit you at the moment. For each problem, select methods for solving it, indicating specific deadlines and adding subgoals.

Now more than ever you need new bright emotions. Set new goals, get yourself a new hobby. It sounds corny, but it works. There is no need to reinvent the wheel - you just need to competently use what humanity has already invented a long time ago.

What not to do after breaking up with a man - advice from psychologists

A breakup, which is perceived painfully by girls, can lead to rash actions. Very often, an emotional breakdown becomes the cause of unusual behavior. What is absolutely unacceptable to do after breaking up with a guy and why.

1. Avoid getting a full night's sleep. Violation of the regime entails a failure in the entire body system. Strength disappears, helplessness and apathy begin to overcome.
2. Drink alcohol, drugs. Some people believe that getting drunk and forgetting after a breakup is salvation when you love unrequitedly. And it’s even easier to fly away into a non-existent world, where everything is beautiful, colorful, fabulous. This is a misconception that can cause psychological trauma and harm to health. Alcohol and drugs destroy the central nervous system, deplete you, and prevent you from getting out of the pit of depressed mood. After returning to reality, the mood becomes worse, and the problems take on even greater proportions. Many accidents occur while under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
3. Look for a way out in random sex with the first guy you like. This will only help you forget for a while. And then the old experiences will come flooding back with renewed vigor. They will be accompanied by disappointment and self-disrespect, which can provoke depression. Don't forget about sexually transmitted diseases.

After a breakup, you need to control yourself. Focus all your efforts on healing from the loss, try to solve the problem as soon as possible.

Change of scenery9

Change your social circle, go on a trip, or have the courage to move to another place. Especially if everything around reminds you of him.

If you are an avid conservative, then you simply need such a shake-up. Visit new places, try new foods, read new books and watch new movies.

Speaking of films...

How long does it take for a girl to forget a guy?

Sociologists conducted a study in which 300 people participated. The purpose of the study was to find out who experienced unhappy love and how.

After discussing this problem with all those studied, the scientists came to the conclusion that you can forget your ex-loved one only after a time that is half the period of your relationship. That is, as sad as it may sound, if a couple has been together for 5 years, then it takes at least 2.5 years for all the wounds to heal.

This formula is not mandatory, and according to psychologists, the pain from past relationships can subside within 3 months. But especially sensitive people can experience the loss of a relationship for up to 3 years.

Women take longer to forget breakups

Breaking up with a partner and emotions after that can be divided into several stages:

• The first stage is associated with shock and bewilderment from the breakup.
• The second stage entails rebellion and refusal to reconcile with the current situation.
• At the third stage, depression comes, a feeling of guilt for the current situation.

Interestingly, men and women have different feelings about a breakup:

• At the beginning of separation, depression is observed in 75% of men and 25% of women.
• But men cope with negative emotions faster and their psyche is less susceptible to negative consequences.
• Women do not suffer greatly, but the duration of their experiences is usually 2 or even 3 times longer. In addition, such experiences can even develop into severe nervous diseases and psychological trauma in the fair half.

That is, we can say that men do not suffer for long, but are deeply immersed in sad experiences and show them to others. Women do not show their sadness, but they eat themselves up from the inside day by day much longer than men.

Couples can get back together after breaking up

By the way, American scientists have come to the conclusion that 80% of couples who break up and meet again after a while develop very strong relationships. This occurs provided that none of the partners are related by marriage or relationship. But even marriage is not always an obstacle. 60% of people who met their ex-love even leave their husband or wife for the sake of past feelings.

Get distracted

One way or another, the list helps, the reality of the situation is understood, and you can see everything that was previously hidden by a beautiful smile and alluring eyes. And after such an analysis, the feelings will become much weaker, but the habit is unlikely to go away just like that. After all, so much time was spent on it! The problem now is precisely the habit. When a woman or girl spends a lot of time courting a guy, after feelings have cooled, too much free time appears, and this can lead to loss, not knowing where and what to spend the weekend, work break, change, and if nothing is done about it , depression may even appear. And here life itself comes to the rescue. There is a huge world lurking around you, don’t ignore it and it will help you get distracted and find something to do with your newly acquired free time. Plunge yourself into your studies or work, and in the evenings, don’t miss the parties and get-togethers that your friends have been inviting you to for a long time. Halloween or New Year, a birthday or another big holiday is coming soon - throw a party, pumpkins, a Christmas tree, congratulations, costumes, make a themed evening and please your friends with interesting competitions and fun. So, you will kill two birds with one stone: you will be distracted and have a great holiday of life. Grab at any work and ideas, you need to get passionate about something again so that breaks and weekends are long-awaited, since your favorite activity will be waiting for you, and not an empty, boring apartment.