How to punish your wife for infidelity and betrayal: various options for teaching a lesson

The infidelity of one of the partners always hurts the heart of the other and causes a variety of thoughts - from attacks of despair and the desire to immediately break off the relationship to inventing ways of revenge. For many men, cheating is considered an extreme form of betrayal, and a woman after it is considered dirty and unworthy of love and attention. And a situation where you can just go your separate ways and forget about everything will not always suit a young man. In most cases, he will not calm down until he figures out how to take revenge on his girlfriend or wife for cheating, even if she already becomes an ex.

Rational decision

When a young man finds out about his wife's infidelity, he may experience a state of emotional shock, accompanied by a strong desire to be punished for infidelity. Often this can lead to irreversible consequences. Therefore, to begin with, it is very important to calm down and analyze the problem that has arisen. It often happens that when making a decision, a man blames his girlfriend for everything and does not think about the true reasons for such an act and his role in it. In fact, it is useful to analyze the circumstances that could have prompted the lady to engage in such indecent behavior. This will help you understand the situation, distribute thoughts in your head and make a reasonable decision.

The reasons for female infidelity may be as follows:

1. If you have an early marriage (for example, due to an unexpected pregnancy), then perhaps your spouse was not mentally prepared for it. After all, this is a deprivation of a certain freedom, constraint by family obligations, etc. In other words, she did not have time to work up and is now trying to make up for lost time.
2. Perhaps your partner is more temperamental than you and may simply be unsatisfied in the intimate sphere, so she is looking for “supplements” on the side. Especially if lately you have begun to refuse her for some reason. For example, due to being very busy or tired.
3. The satellite behaves repulsively. For example, flirting with other ladies, potential infidelity, frequent use of alcohol (and possibly drugs), use of physical force towards a partner, stinginess and hiding money, etc.

It is important to calmly consider the possible reasons for the betrayal of your significant other and understand what your role is in this. On this basis, a decision is already made on what to do next with your relationship. But here you need to take into account some points:

• everything must be within the law,
• violence with the use of physical force is excluded,
• It is prohibited to involve third parties in your disputes, especially children.

Disrespect for your husband - what will happen?

Relationships at this level are always difficult, because living in the same territory for a long time is already a psychological problem, since everyone should have at least a little personal space.

This is the paradox: on the one hand, we are inclined to boundless gratitude and respect for our loved ones, and on the other hand, we completely enslave them, turning them into our second self. Moreover, this formula works in both directions.

Surprisingly, sometimes such forced adaptation of a loved one is perceived as disrespect. So what could it lead to?

Operating principle of the mechanism

Now there are many opinions, including from practicing psychologists. For example, O. Torsunov claims that the way we women think about them, about men, is how they become. Well, let's tune in to the positive so that they change for the better and literally blossom! But if day after day you inspire a person that he:

• rag;
• not worthy of you;
• a parasite, of which there are few;
• Jonah;
• incompetence and the like.

In the end, he will become just like that, because you subconsciously build a ceiling for him, above which a man, in the end, will not be able to jump. Because he doesn’t receive support, he’s not psychologically ready, or he’s simply given up, because “no matter how hard you try,” everything is useless.

Plus, a woman often forms a whole negative hollow around him, as she complains to her friends, neighbors, mother, relatives, acquaintances - in general, to everyone with whom she communicates. And they in return begin to consider the person much worse than he deserves. However, if the wife herself described him this way, then “that’s the way it is.” This is the main conclusion of all women's cries into a vest.

And then it becomes a vicious circle: they begin to whisper to her that “she married the wrong person,” “so-and-so was better,” “I feel sorry for you,” “poor thing, how you are suffering,” and so on. This heats up the nerves and pushes towards eternal dissatisfaction with the spouse or leads to the breakdown of the family. In general, support your man, never talk bad about him and don’t listen to idle conversations.

Why don't wives respect their husbands?

• The woman thinks that all the problems are only because of him.
  “He will stop sitting at the monitor in the evenings and playing tanks, change his job, get paid a lot, and I will immediately become different - happy, friendly, reasonable.” Whatever the case! A typical mistake before the first nagging at your spouse. There is no need to take the relationship “to another level,” but you need to be able to stay on the existing one, because behind every successful man there is a caring, patient and loving woman.

• Having humiliated a loved one, it is easier to rise in your own eyes.
  This is how a woman begins to perceive herself as smarter, kinder, better, finding within herself the recognition that she lacks.

• The desire to be pitied is another decisive factor. This means that such a wife simply lacks attention from her husband, therefore, he is also guilty of disrespect for himself.

• Complaints about the other half to others arise due to the fact that moral rules do not allow a person to directly express dissatisfaction with him due to the risk of lowering self-esteem.
  So say smart books. But a woman really needs to throw it out from her heart without evil intentions: she told it and forgot. However, a paradox arises: others remember.

• It’s also an attempt to justify yourself, shield yourself, get support, and become more confident. A kind of “childish” self-deception of a toddler level.

• Claiming that her husband is “this and that” and not respecting him, the wife wants banal revenge for the insult caused, inattention, for the inability to make her happy. But a man is not a magician - we need to create happiness together.

How does disrespect for a husband end?

Firstly, when a wife says bad things about her husband, she not only does not respect him, but moves away. That is, it’s like she’s building a wall, putting a block in the way of energy that should go from her to her husband in order to charge him with her boundless support and instill confidence. There is a feeling that there is a complete stranger nearby.

Secondly, such behavior in itself takes a lot of strength and positive energy. And vice versa - women's participation, involvement, compassion provide an incredibly large charge for accomplishing grandiose things.

Therefore, when there is condemnation, indifference appears, from which you simply don’t want to do anything. Simply put, in this way the wife cuts off her husband’s wings, which could raise her above the rest.

And so - alcohol flows like a river, money is not earned, the thread of mutual understanding is torn. A vicious circle appears in which the “hated” person is powerless to change anything.

Thirdly, psychological distress appears in children for whom “mom and dad” are an inextricable whole. They see that the mother does not respect the father, and this provokes a lot of complexes and problems.

Teenagers are especially vulnerable: they begin to study worse due to individual internal protest, they are rude, do the opposite, engage in dangerous habits, and so on.

In general, they lose the ability and desire to maintain good relationships and follow in the footsteps of adults.

Define the goal

Every relationship has its own individuality, and, accordingly, there cannot be a general solution for all couples. But it is important for a man to set his own ultimate goal, to decide how to live further and in what case he should take revenge on his wife for betrayal.

As a rule, there can be two goals:

1. Break off the relationship and never return to it. When you understand for sure that this act cannot be forgotten and forgiven, sometimes the best punishment is cold-blooded indifference and help in collecting personal belongings. The girl may ask for forgiveness, fall to her knees, swear that this will not happen again, or even beg to hit her. Because it is indifference that hurts the most. After all, the companion expects emotions, anger, declarations of love or hatred, but not a disregardful attitude. And for you, in turn, in order to maintain your own dignity, it is better to vent your emotions in the gym or boxing gym and go away for a while to work, a hobby or vacation.
2. Try to maintain the union if there is love or children together. If you have chosen this goal, then most likely your feelings will prevail over your resentment. And you understand that you are not an exclusively ideal partner either. Therefore, it is important to save the family and try to forgive your beloved. After all, you still have to live with her. Most women appreciate such an act and try after this to do everything to please their spouse and create family comfort.

Remember that the feeling of revenge is, first of all, resentment for oneself and focusing on it. As a rule, this condition is accompanied by low self-esteem, depressive thoughts, and the inability to do something and solve problems adequately. Therefore, it is important to find strength within yourself and abandon gloomy thoughts and terrible plans. Instead, show your companion that you are a self-sufficient person who can do without her help in any matter, and reduce communication with her to a minimum. Then she will probably regret what happened and sincerely repent.

Advice from psychologists

Experts recommend taking the news of betrayal with dignity. The best way is to help your wife pack her things with an understanding face. For a girl who is accustomed to having to fight for her, such behavior will be a shock. She has suffered a severe blow to her pride, she will begin to doubt her actions and may want to stay.

Also, psychologists do not recommend damaging your wife’s property. It is better to avoid such methods of solving the problem, since such behavior can lead to problems with the law.

The most important question is whether to forgive betrayal. The answer to this must be individual. People are different, so not everyone is able to forgive betrayal. For example, guys with high self-esteem usually get divorced. They understand that they do not want to continue living with a traitor.

READ Why men need lovers: the psychology of betrayal

A man should not pester his ex-lover's friends. Such methods aimed at hurting the offender look pathetic and repulsive.

A person must be able to forgive. This is difficult to do, but this is the only way to truly teach a cheater a lesson. Men are proud creatures, so they must face difficulties along the way with dignity.

Methods of punishment

If you understand that you will not be able to live and sleep peacefully if your friend goes unpunished, then we will consider the most acceptable methods for this:

1. Physical. In a fit of anger, representatives of the stronger sex most often use physical force. But in this case, it is important to remember that you are dealing with a woman who is much weaker. And in principle, such an act does not look good on any man. Therefore, if you couldn’t control yourself and your hand rose on its own, then the maximum that could happen was a light slap in the face. She, as in films with the participation of Celentano, will help to “sober up” the partner and hurt her pride.
2. Psychological. Young ladies are emotional creatures, so moral influence will be more effective in terms of punishment. For example, you can start a “cold war” and simply ignore your lady love: both in communication and in sex. An indifferent attitude and detachment will make your spouse feel guilty and useless. It is important to pause long enough before accepting her attempts to earn forgiveness and renew contact. This way the error will be fully recognized. But keep in mind that you shouldn’t delay it too much. After all, in despair, the chosen one can simply go to her lover.
3. Material. You can punish your passion by reducing its funding or even completely depriving it of funds (of course, not those that it earns on its own). At the same time, demonstratively make a major purchase for yourself, for example, buy a gold watch or a car.
4. Jealousy. Improve your appearance, periodically flirt with other ladies and be away from home more often. If your companion has feelings for you, it will stab you painfully into the heart, causing bouts of jealousy and an understanding of what it’s like to be betrayed by a loved one. But you shouldn’t repeat your wife’s negative action yourself, so as not to stoop to her level and not offend other, innocent women by refusing further relationships.

If you cannot calm down from the insult and are wondering how to punish your ex-wife for cheating, you can consider the following methods as an alternative:

1. Demonstrate your success in business, work, sports, so that she understands what kind of man she lost and regrets her action.
2. Find yourself a worthy soul mate and, if possible, brag about it. Show how beautiful, feminine, caring, faithful she is and what incredible happiness you found when you met her. Then the ex will definitely bite her lips out of anger, resentment and disappointment.
3. Surprise your ex-wife completely by thanking her for remaining in your past, thanks to which you have a new life and a more worthy chosen one.

Whatever method of revenge you choose, it is important not to lose your dignity and not cause too serious harm to the girl. After all, it is unknown how life will turn out in the future and what consequences may arise. It is enough that the young lady realizes her negative action and sincerely regrets it.

The best way to punish your wife

All of the above pranks will help you let off steam and even have fun while watching your wife suffer. But you will not achieve the main goal - your wife will not suffer the way you suffered.

The most cruel and radical way to take revenge for betrayal is to break off the relationship and leave. This hurts deeply and makes you feel deeply, especially if before the fact of infidelity was discovered, the spouses had a good relationship.

The main thing is to do it right.

The best revenge is to become happy without her.

You need to part ways calmly. Without scandal, accusations and petty dirty tricks. During a divorce, do not try to take away her beloved dog and deprive her of everything. It will be more effective if you show with all your appearance that you are completely satisfied with the situation and that you are even glad to get rid of your wife.

Indifference hurts much more than shouting and insults. Your calmness will definitely hurt her pride.

What should be the exciting phrases?

In general, the main secret of exciting phrases lies in their naturalness and the absence of pretentious wording. Such phrases can be passionate, very frank, a little ridiculous, naive, timid... Or harsh, vulgar, angry and even obscene. It all depends on the type of button with which the sexual mechanism of men is launched.

Each of them has its own, individual type. That’s why phrases can excite people in a variety of ways. You just need to choose them correctly and use them at the right moment with the right intonation. Otherwise, instead of desire, these phrases will cause laughter or even irritation.

What is the right moment and the right intonation? The right moment is not only the time when the male consciousness is ready to react to this or that exciting phrase. This is a period when a girl feels completely free, without experiencing any fears or constraint. In order to catch such a state, you need to feel all the charm of what is happening, forgetting about everyday problems and completely relaxing.

Yes, sometimes it’s not so easy to enter it. Well, you’ll have to work a little on yourself and learn to disconnect from the oppressive routine. In the end, do we have the right to joy or not?! If you live only with worries, you won’t be able to waste your happiness for long!

As for the correct intonation, it should be such that no note of tension or artificiality is felt in the voice. Phrases can be pronounced both in a whisper and quite loudly. The main thing is that they sound organically, clearly and as if arbitrarily. The most interesting thing is that the natural timbre of a young lady’s voice often has a devastating effect on men.

Well, in any case, much stronger than attempts to excite him with unnatural purring or deliberate intimate penetration. The main thing is that the words have sexual overtones. Moreover, our men have the peculiarity of hearing such subtext even in the most innocent phrases.

For example, we say to someone without any second thought: “What beautiful fingers you have! As if they were meant to be played on the piano...” And it seems to him that there is a piquant hint in these words. They say that with such fingers you can also caress a woman’s body. Or in the usual remark “let’s get down to business,” a man may find a hidden subtext like “let’s go to bed already.” So you shouldn’t be surprised that your interlocutor’s eyes suddenly blurred and his speech became confused. We just said words that seemed ambiguous to him.

The words that turn a man on can be anything. Even those that make the walls blush. Their selection depends on the preferences of the chosen one and his subconscious reaction to external factors. Some people are aroused only by provocative frankness in conversation, while for others one seemingly completely chaste phrase is enough.

And some men light up with desire when they hear swearing, generously seasoned with strong expressions. Therefore, it is difficult to create a universal set of flammable words. True, many ladies believe that this is not so. And that almost all men lose the ability to think sensibly if you quietly tell them something like: “Oh, honey, I’m not wearing underwear today!” or “I feel so good in bed with you! You are so sexy...”

In the first case, some individual may decide that the sweetheart is hinting at a lack of money to buy good underwear. They say, you, dear, will have to fork out some money. In the second - that she wants to flatter and appease, because she has been guilty of something.

Therefore, if we intend to excite our beloved with some phrases, we must have at least a vague idea of ​​his inclinations and character. Some men are completely driven crazy by a woman’s obvious promiscuity, others by intimate trust and romantic sexuality. There are also those who deserve shameless debauchery. Or those who generally demand something, we don’t know what. In general, all conversations that excite the male imagination usually concern several topics. What are these topics?

How to cope with the news of betrayal with dignity

The critical moment when a man can commit a rash act is the moment when it becomes known about his wife’s love affairs. The most important thing at this moment is not to hit your wife or her lover, or, even worse, not to kill. The situation is anecdotal, but in real life it is not at all funny, and maintaining composure is not so easy. It is best to remain calm, appear indifferent, and demonstrate to your wife that you do not care at all about her cheating. If she decides to leave for her lover, you can help her pack her things. This behavior will confuse your wife; she expects from you a surge of emotions, anger, rage, but not a caring attitude. This will make her question whether she is doing the right thing.

Beautiful underwear

Not a single woman in the world needs a hint when it comes to the number one stimulant for men. Their “love through the eyes” became the talk of the town, and you probably had mixed feelings about your partner when, sitting with you in a restaurant, he turned into a spinning radar reacting to the beauties passing by. Would you say it's a drawback? But you can use it to your advantage.

Forget about extended manicures, expensive accessories and new exercise equipment in the fitness club - men are much less interested in this. Take that money and invest it in some nice lingerie. It can be crazy lacy or stylishly smooth. “Underwear” are magic words, more than “Thank you” and “Please.”

You may exclaim, “I beg you! It's such a cliché!

Indeed, a cliché, an old number, a world-famous fact - whatever you want, but not without reason, right? Have you heard of the idea that men are not biologically programmed to be with just one woman? Whatever you can do to be different in bed, do it. If you want a monogamous husband. This is not what a woman wants to hear, but it works if you want to surprise your husband in bed.

Sleek, sexy black lingerie is a classic. Start with her.

Cold revenge

A devoted partner is capable of literally anything. After days, weeks and even months of despair, someone comes up with the idea of ​​sweet revenge. Women don't forgive. An example of this is the case when a girl hid a bowl of shrimp and caviar in a house that was being renovated. My ex-husband moved there with new furniture and a new girlfriend.

Over time, the house began to stink. They tried everything! They washed and searched the entire house. We made sure there were no dead mice in the ventilation and cleaned the carpets. An air freshener was hung in every corner. Nothing worked. Eventually, in desperation, they had to move out. The house was hard to sell.