How to return your first love if many years have passed

First love is the most romantic and strong feeling. No matter how many years pass, no matter who we become in life, we will often return mentally to our first love. And it also happens that after many years lovers meet, feelings come flooding in, and it seems that everything will happen again. But is this really so? And is it really possible to get your first love back?

Why first love is never forgotten

First love is like no other feeling. It awakens new emotions in us, some of which will be repeated many times, and some of which will never be felt again. Although first love is usually very strong, most often it ends in separation. Even more often, first love is unrequited. But be that as it may, it’s impossible to forget about her, although there is nothing wrong with that.

This is, first of all, love - a positive feeling and emotion. Even if it ended sadly, you need to be grateful to fate that it gave you the opportunity to experience this great feeling.
The first guy taught you a lot: to love, to fight for your love, to open up and trust.
Thanks to this feeling, it became clear to you what exactly you value in men. Obviously the first guy had good qualities if you had a crush on him at some point. Focus on these qualities as something to look for in the next person, rather than on the fact that you've lost them.
You know that love exists. Some people spend most of their lives looking forward to their first love. Some people have to wait so long that they wonder if there is love in the world?
These are a lot of pleasant warm memories. As numerous studies by psychologists show, positive nostalgic feelings lead to optimism. Reduce anxiety and relax.
This is the first intimate contact that is remembered for a lifetime. If sex happened with a loved one, then the memories of it will be stored for the rest of your life, gradually displacing all unpleasant thoughts.

But sometimes first love can become a serious threat to your current relationship. You can constantly compare all your partners with that very first man and look for his traits in them. The fact that you can't forget your first love will prevent you from falling in love again.

When a woman falls out of love...

At one time, psychologists conducted an interesting study: they set out to identify signs by which they could accurately determine that a close relationship between a man and a woman had come to an end. The highlight of the research was that it was decided to look at the problem only from the position of the fair sex. True, experts did not explain this “one-sided” choice in any way. Maybe they thought that men would worry less if their once-ardent love began to fade? We can only guess about this... But the research result obtained in any case deserves attention. This is where we will begin our conversation about the relationship crisis.

So, what are they, female signs of outgoing (or already gone) love? 15 of them were identified. At first glance, many of them may seem “frivolous” and “made up” (at least, this is how one of the young women reacted to them). However, judge for yourself:

Recently you have begun to feel calmer when alone;
you began to think that sex in life is not as important as it once seemed;
you began to get annoyed because your husband snores at night;
your biorhythms no longer coincide: when he wants to sleep, you prefer to stay awake;
when he invites you to go with him to a restaurant or to a party, then for some reason you no longer want to wear the best things;
during a joint vacation, you involuntarily begin to get bored and mostly languish from idleness;
you look indifferently as your other half begins to flirt with another woman;
he, with hidden irony, “thanks” you for agreeing to have sex with him;
you once liked kissing him during intimacy, but now you feel indifferent to it;
you are annoyed when he turns off the TV before intimacy;
you don’t always have time to wash off makeup from your face before sex;
he begins to notice the changes happening to you, but regards them as a new phase of your relationship;
you suddenly started doing your makeup in the bathroom, closing yourself on a hook;
looking through advertisements in the newspaper, you involuntarily stop your eyes on information about housing for rent;
you have many reasons to continue living together, but their list no longer includes the motivation: “I can’t live without him.”

Of course, you may have your own observations, by which you can determine that you have already lost interest in your husband (man). For example, thinking about this usually arises from the moment when the first relationship, colored by romance and love, gives way to calmer and more measured everyday life. It begins to seem that they are developing very poorly or have completely deteriorated, and love irrevocably passes (or has already passed).

It's good if it just seems like it to you. What if love really passed? And not even from your side, but from his...

Can first love happen again?

We are talking about relationships with the same person. It often happens that people renew their relationship after many years. It is in romantic films that we are touched by watching how the characters love each other all their lives and are eventually reunited after much suffering. But the filmmakers end the story there. We are not shown how the heroes live on. But in reality, everything is completely different. It is not always possible to repeat your first love after many years. After all, people change and today the person you loved is already a completely different person with new views and beliefs. Maybe he got better, maybe he got worse.

You have changed too. Today you are no longer that young girl who was naive and open, looking at the world with trusting eyes. It’s simply that today you won’t be able to find a common language with the man with whom you were once so in love.

Also, different social statuses of partners can hinder the resumption of old relationships. Well, the banal reason is that each of the former lovers can have families. Although, nothing can interfere with strong love.

First breakup

The first love entails the first separation. Now all the curses have been said, and the damage has been brought to the homewrecker, and all the animals have been named, but the heart thirsts for revenge.

Years pass and everything is forgotten. It is not time that heals, but long washing of the bones of a former passion.

Gradually a reverse metamorphosis occurs. More and more abandoned love takes on royal features. This is where a treacherous thought is born: “Maybe we will be together again. We felt so good."

Where does the desire to return your first love come from?

Despite the fact that there are unpleasant memories associated with your first love, you still want to return it. No matter how ugly you parted, your memory will only remember those feelings and emotions that you experienced. As a rule, this is romanticism, pure intentions, hopes, brightness of emotions, excitement and faith in a great future. Having matured, people understand intellectually that all these feelings are associated with youthful maximalism and naivety. But the subconscious again dictates its own rules - it wants a repetition of these emotions. And you can only experience them with the person you first fell in love with.

Another reason why people want to return their first love after many years is the understatement that remains in the relationship. Perhaps the parting was incomprehensible, there were some misunderstandings, unspoken thoughts. Getting your first love back is an opportunity to speak out and be heard.

Also, first love is sought because a person wants to give himself a second chance. This is an attempt to become young again, to forget all the failures that have happened to him over the years, to correct the mistakes he has made.

What is noteworthy is that most often women want their first love back. this is due to the sentimentality and romanticism of their nature. Men prefer not to return to the old, but to look for something new.

Is it really better to break up?

Past love is past love. Therefore, when such an ending comes to a relationship, one often gives up and one’s thoughts are occupied by the only question: what to do next?

In such cases, some psychologists advise, it is better not to hold on to the past! If love has faded, then it’s better to part. Why torture yourself and him? You won't be cute by force. Therefore, such relationships should be stopped before they can reach a final dead end. It is impossible to live under one roof without love.

There are many cases where women try with all their might to forget their ex. They distract themselves from their worries with the help of some activity they enjoy. True, after some time they decide to talk to their partner. In the hope of finding some reasons that will clarify the current situation. So that later you can accept this separation with a calm heart.

If there is no trace left of past love, passion, relationships, then there is no point in keeping your man. Relationship experts believe this will create additional problems. For example, a man will begin to cheat, the atmosphere in the house will become unbearable, meaningless scandals will follow one after another. In such a situation, the best way out is to understand the man and let him go. But if there really was a real feeling between you, then it could not die without a trace. The man will definitely come back to you.

How to return your first love?

Bringing back a person and feelings that were experienced many years ago is a difficult matter. This is much more difficult than getting back a man you had a fight with a few days ago. You need to understand that over many years there have been many changes in the lives of each of the former partners. Even if the relationship works out, it will never be the same. They will be new. Therefore, you need to change yourself and your attitude towards first love. First of all, there is no need to idealize and place great hopes on this relationship.

An abundance of good deeds!

First, notice how many positive things are found in this late first century church.

Good deeds
Hard work
Patience
Refusal to tolerate depraved people
Testing leaders who are not and calling them what they are - liars
They work hard
Don't get exhausted
They hate the works of the Nicolaitans (because God hates them, because we cannot love what God loves without hating what He hates. Editor's note: the Nicolaitans are heretics who claimed that they were not destroying Christianity , on the contrary, they created a more advanced version of it, but based on permissiveness (according to Barkley’s comments).

Wow! All in all, such a church should be admired, right? It's amazing that just one negative thing can cancel out this entire list of good things. Whatever the reason for the loss of your first love is a very, very serious matter in the eyes of God. So we need to take special care to examine what led to this in the context of this otherwise highly regarded church.

What to do if the relationship doesn't work out

Unfortunately, it may happen that you return your first love, start dating him, and maybe even live, but the emotions that you were waiting for do not occur. Why is this happening?

you both have matured and changed your views on many things, including each other;
you may have developed habits or qualities that were not there before;
perhaps your loved one did not become what you imagined him to be during separation;
it is very difficult to come to terms with those women and men who were in your lives;
you just don't get along.

And this is the harsh truth of life. In youth, everything seems simple and unpretentious. There is no need to pretend and adjust. You don't need to think about anything, you can just dream and believe. You just need to listen to your emotions and follow them. In adult life, all this is relegated to the background. In the main place are social and everyday problems, career, financial crisis, health.

As you can see, we often feel nostalgic for feelings that no longer exist. We dream of returning those emotions that different people experienced. You need to understand that a person at 20 and 20 years old are two different souls in one body. And it is very difficult for them to fit in it at the same time. Therefore, you need to accept the truth that everything in life has its time. And trying to change this is illegal, it’s against nature. In most cases, it is better to let go of your first love, leaving behind warm memories.