Revenge is payback, a way to settle scores and carry out retribution. After a failed relationship that did not end gracefully, the desire to somehow take revenge on an ex-boyfriend or husband is, in a certain sense, natural. This desire can be something trivial and fleeting, or it can consume and last for many years. Sometimes revenge is carried out in the form of a practical joke and does not cause any damage, and sometimes harm is caused, and the matter takes a criminal turn.
Matters of the heart seem to trigger the greatest need for revenge. When we are hurt by someone we care about, our reaction is to punish our ex-boyfriend or husband and seek emotional compensation.
How far can you go?
You have to be incredibly careful if you decide to hurt your ex, as much of what you want to do is illegal and could get you into trouble. Destroying their property or stalking them out of a desire to get revenge on their ex-boyfriend or husband for betrayal or hurt are two options that cross this dangerous line. In almost every case, the implementation of such punishment brings more problems than solutions.
Also, keep in mind that if you do something terrible to someone else, your ex may begin to seek revenge in return, which is a long-term vicious cycle.
There are many ways to annoy an ex-boyfriend or husband who offended you and get revenge. The main thing is to understand what will be most painful for a particular person.
A personal approach will provide the best opportunity to take revenge.
What not to do: the worst mistakes women make
So you should understand that the punishment of men is primarily aimed at their internal motives and attitudes, and not at external relationships with friends or relatives.
For them, their own feelings and experiences are more important than other people’s opinions, while women are very dependent on the position of others and are ready to endure aggression or violence for the sake of idyllic photos on social networks.
- Hide emotions - no one is obliged to guess your mood and read your thoughts; even the most devoted spouse is incapable of this. Carry out an “audit” of your relationship more often and discuss current problems.
- Be offended by the truth - men tend to realistically assess people’s appearance and behavior, so take it as a fact that a man notices your shortcomings and reacts to them in a certain way. Actually, he also has the right to be offended and nervous.
- Involve friends and relatives - they are unable to solve your internal problems, they are unable to change a person’s personality, they are unable to really help you. But they can gossip for a long time, invent non-existent details and console you with feigned words.
Why do you want to take revenge?
The desire to take revenge on a boyfriend or husband for an insult is a natural reaction for any person. But why do we feel this way? Are feelings of anger and malice natural even in those people who are not prone to them?
We are programmed to develop social connections with others, and when we are betrayed, this trust in people in general is destroyed and the desire to make the culprit suffer appears.
We rarely think about taking revenge on a stranger who has wronged us, but when someone dear to our heart betrays us, we feel the need for revenge.
At first, the idea of making our ex-husband or boyfriend suffer feels good because we think that if we make the other person suffer the same way they made us suffer, our negative emotions will decrease.
Although the desire to hurt your ex-boyfriend or husband may seem attractive, it actually increases feelings of anger and resentment.
What not to do
In an obsessive desire to punish the offender, women often do stupid things, for which they later pay bitterly. This is because they are driven by anger, which blocks the mind.
So, what not to do in pursuit of revenge:
- damage someone else's property (scratch a car, break into an apartment, beat equipment in a fit of anger, set fire to his office), for this you can be held accountable;
- injure a negligent man;
- lose your own dignity in the desire to prick the cheater (cheat in response);
- take revenge on a rival (pursue, threaten, ruin her life);
- punish a man through feelings of guilt (try to commit suicide);
- involving innocent people (parents, children, loved ones) in this is unjustified cruelty on your part.
Revenge is still destructive. It can significantly spoil not only the reputation, but also the lives of people. Both for you (if you are obsessed with this feeling) and for the partner who once behaved wrongly. Psychologists advise punishing the offender only if there is no other way to let go of the situation. And if you let off steam through punishment, then only in such a way that it does not harm anyone. It will only be enough for a man to hurt his feelings and deal a blow to his male pride. Everything else is superfluous.
Is it worth answering?
If someone takes revenge on you, it is often retaliated against, so even just retribution risks ultimately causing an endless and bleak cycle. The best option if you want to take revenge on the guy who used and hurt you is to remain calm and not react.
If a person has done something illegal, you must go to court.
You need to understand the consequences of taking revenge on your ex. What are you trying to achieve and what will be the outcome? If you get your way, will it somehow make the pain and anger go away or increase it?
In many cases, you will find that in the end, taking revenge on someone who has wronged you will not make you feel better. The most productive approach is to forget about everything or forgive the person who offended you.
Doing something that causes significant damage to another person or their property will only make the situation worse. While this may seem like the best option in a fit of anger, once those emotions dissipate, you will realize that there is a much better option to get back at your ex-boyfriend or husband for betraying and hurting you.
Harm the toy
Guys are grown up children. They all have toys, especially their favorite one. It could be a car, a computer, all sorts of trinkets. And a girl can harm these things with the help of tools (hammer, axe, bat), pour paint on them, but there is also a downside. This idea of how to beautifully take revenge on a guy can end sadly for the girl herself. The guy could sue and she could be punished for the damages caused. A less risky option is to sprinkle grain on your car to attract birds.
The best revenge is to live well
As cliché as it may sound, the best revenge is to forgive, live well, and succeed.
There will be no immediate gratification in this case, but in the end you will definitely be rewarded.
Many people say that “living well is the most effective method of revenge,” and this is true. Focusing on living your life will bring better results. Although this is a more difficult and longer path than banal revenge, which will only lead to even more anger and disappointment.
Evil brings no satisfaction
When you do something evil, you make it clear that you are empty and emotionally dependent.
Vicious revenge may bring short-term satisfaction, but it is definitely not the best solution, since by doing so, you are holding yourself back from moving forward and healing from the resentment.
When you seek revenge, you dig two graves. Confucius.
About forgiveness
The only way to get out of this situation is not to look for the most sophisticated way to take revenge on your boyfriend or husband for an insult, but to forgive. It's easy to forgive people you like, but it's much more difficult to forgive someone who betrayed you and doesn't even care about it. Until you forgive, you will not be able to move on and will be trapped in anger and resentment.
One of the hardest things to do is let go of your hatred and other negative emotions.
However, in order to move forward in your life, you must clear yourself of these feelings. Giving in to negative emotions will not improve your situation. You must focus on staying positive and working hard to achieve a better future for yourself.
If you dare not take revenge on the boyfriend or husband who offended you, then forgiveness will not come instantly. Keep telling yourself that you forgive him and eventually you will realize that this really happened.
If you are still determined to annoy your ex-husband or boyfriend, then below are effective options.
Make you regret9
This method is the most time-consuming and complex, but the most useful for the girl as an individual. While the girl is thinking about how to beautifully take revenge on the guy, she can make radical changes at this time, and this applies to both appearance and internal content. You can get rid of the goal of revenge by engaging in free time: enrolling in interesting courses, a gym or a dance school. When, after some time, the ex sees a girl in excellent shape with a radiant smile on her face and realizes that he has lost her forever, this will bring him such suffering that can hardly be compared with a damaged car or a cut expensive shirt.
Effective methods of revenge
Breakups are difficult because emotions tend to run high at this point. At the same time, you may feel the need to return to your ex. Related to this desire are the following several ways to take revenge on the guy or man who left you:
- Telling everyone about their wrongdoings is a good way to punish your ex-boyfriend or husband for betraying you. Do something public that shames and humiliates them. You can put up a billboard or do something on social media that his loved ones will see.
- Destroy what they love. Find a treasured item that you know is important to your ex and destroy it in front of him.
- Ignore. If you are still in contact with this person, start ignoring and not paying any attention to messages and calls.
- Refuse to help in difficult times. If you still maintain a good relationship with the person who offended you, you may “accidentally” let him down.
- Cause envy. To get revenge on your ex-boyfriend or husband beautifully, get into better shape, change your image and start living a better life. Be sure to let them know how good you are and tell them in detail all the amazing things you are doing.
- Make your ex look bad. If possible, you can do something publicly to embarrass and humiliate them.
- Give mixed signals. If you want to take beautiful revenge on your ex-boyfriend for betrayal, then use the “hot and cold” tactic if the situation allows.
Reasons for bad attitude
In principle, all problems can be solved, provided that the spouses are able to negotiate and act together, consolidated, otherwise the problems turn into conflicts, quarrels, or even end in divorce. Therefore, the most important reason for bad relationships is the inability to discuss the conflict and agree on ways to overcome it.
The remaining reasons are quite understandable and are subject to self-correction without the intervention of a psychologist or strangers.
Domestic dissatisfaction
It occurs when there is clutter, a mania for cleanliness, or simply a different understanding of home improvement. Oddly enough, it is the “small” habits that cause large-scale disagreements and cause real rage. As they say, spouses who have gone through renovations together can safely write a will for each other.
Individual intolerance
This concept from the field of pharmaceuticals is quite consistent with many character traits in another person that cause rejection. As she gets older, the sweet, naive girl simply seems stupid and incapable of running a household.
And if the wife begins to be hysterical, make a scandal, the husband has a response - to “calm down” her in any way, hit her or leave the house.
The fact is that nature has provided a safety mechanism in which certain frequencies of sound exposure from women or children are perceived as vital, especially irritating, and should be responded to immediately.
But if there is no real danger, the man feels that he was “deceived” and that his protective potential was undeservedly used. Gradually, this instinct is completely switched off and the scandalous wife herself becomes a source of anxiety.
Influence of friends or relatives
The notorious mothers-in-law and other authority figures can significantly spoil the family atmosphere. They imperceptibly, but very deeply penetrate into the personal biofield, realizing their motives and goals.
This especially applies to those who have not succeeded in life and do not understand the happiness of others; they love to “advise” how to take revenge on their husbands and participate in family conflicts.
Do you want peace and quiet
Trust others less, and even more so, complain about your husband or family problems. Thus, you feed their insatiable energy; many enjoy other people's troubles, although they are able to pretend that they are worried and sympathize.
Even if you want to share the situation, you can discuss it abstractly, impersonally, without naming specific names and facts.
Excessive loads, stress
The desire to earn more money or simply chronic fatigue leads to the fact that a man “loses touch” with the world around him and stops noticing simple, everyday joys. He perceives any words and comments from his wife aggressively; it seems to him that she is to blame for the difficult situation.
In fact, men have a competitive, competitive consciousness, so they tend to compare their advantages with others, for example, with former classmates or relatives.
So the wife should concentrate his attention on personal successes and achievements; there is no need to demand the impossible. There will still be no real result, but tension and dissatisfaction will arise.
Situational reasons
For example, a spouse cheated with another woman or borrowed a significant portion of money from the family budget without the consent of the spouse.
Chronic pathologies - gambling addiction, drug addiction, alcoholism - are a separate category of causes that are quite difficult to overcome without the intervention of specialists.
In the process of “punishing” a man, always respect his limits of patience so that there is no reciprocal desire to punish his wife. If the situation gets out of control, it doesn’t matter who “started it first” and “who is to blame.” Even if he provoked a negative, crisis situation, your purpose is not to aggravate it and bring it to a disaster, but to show how he is wrong and, most importantly, how he can correct and improve the relationship.
Methods if you have been cheated on
If your significant other cheats, this is a gross violation of obligations. If you want to take revenge on your husband or boyfriend for cheating, here are some ideas on how to do it:
- Place an ad in the newspaper. You can ask strangers to call your ex and ask why he did this to you.
- Leave a smelly gift. If you live together, you can buy a bunch of frozen fish or shrimp and stuff it in a hard-to-reach place. As the fish melts and begins to rot, it will start to smell terrible. So much so that it will become impossible to live there.
- Change the numbers on his phone. A great way to take revenge on a boyfriend or husband who offended you. If you have the opportunity, go into his phone and mix up the numbers in his contacts. This way, when your ex texts the person he's cheating with, he'll text someone else, like his mother or boss, instead!
Communicate with the guy's relatives8
If his mother treats the girl well, then he needs to continue communicating with her. The ex will know through his mother that the girl is doing well, has a new boyfriend, found a good job, and is successful.
The ex-boyfriend will bite his elbows, it will hurt him that everything turned out great for the girl without him.
