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“My wife doesn’t respect me” is one of the common thoughts that haunts many men. Is it possible to regain her respect and how to do it? Respect is one of the main things in a relationship.
How to change your attitude towards yourself and regain respect
If you have such thoughts, then this is no longer very good. Most likely, there are several things that need to be fixed. And the very first thing you need to do is admit the mistakes you make.
The situation is complicated by the fact that there are incorrect attitudes circulating in society and even among professional psychologists, and therefore you may hear incorrect advice on how to correct the situation. For example: to regain your wife’s respect, give her even more care and attention. But in fact, this will only make the situation worse.
Respect cannot be bought. No gifts or demonstrative actions will wake him up. Respect the individual. And if you don’t feel this way about yourself, then there’s something wrong with you. Yes, it hurts to hear. But the first step to solving a problem is accepting it.
- Stop seeking her respect. No amount of persuasion will help. Accept the situation (outwardly).
- Start analyzing your relationship with your wife. What are you doing wrong?
- Identify areas you can change. But remember that you only have half of it in your hands.
- Divorce is definitely not the solution. At least until you seriously try to change something. Give yourself at least a year to correct the situation.
Being in a very difficult situation is not scary. You know where to go. The point you are at now is just the beginning.
A wife's disrespect for her husband brings a lot of problems. And as soon as you start to change something, it will worsen, and its manifestations - lack of sexual desire, arrogance, insults - will reach their maximum point. You need to endure and survive all this. By regaining respect, you will get yours back. The relationship will be better than it was at the very beginning.
In general, trying to make a girl respect you is a big mistake! Yes, that's exactly what I said! They are doomed to resounding failure. The fact is that everything comes from within, from yourself. As soon as you truly respect yourself, those around you will begin to feel the same towards you.
1. Get in shape. Many people justify their loss of fitness due to age. Moreover, it is not clear how exactly this is connected, because some people look great at 50, while others have a huge belly already at 28. It is difficult to have respect for a man who has become fat. Anyone can lose weight and get fit.
2. Lose interest in her. Get used to it: many of the tips on how to regain your wife's interest sound counterintuitive. While you are running after her and doing everything to please her, you do not look like a man. More like a pet that is begging for something. The maximum she feels is condescension. Have respect for yourself, as I said above. Become self-sufficient. You have your own life, even if you are married. You can't buy location. No, no. Girls go crazy about men who are unapproachable and stingy with emotions. From now on, you no longer run after your wife and try to please her in every possible way.
3. Gain self-confidence. It is very important for a man to know his own worth - both in life and in relationships. This is a fundamental quality that must be maintained. There is nothing more pathetic than a man who has no self-respect. He is not handsome, not attractive, not sexy. The good news is that the situation can be corrected at any age. The main thing is to focus on your strengths and start developing them. And it’s worth starting with broadcasting this quality. Self-confidence is acquired through habit.
4. Remember your manners. A real man behaves with dignity. His habits and gestures are beautiful and elegant. Once upon a time, gentlemen were in fashion - they are what all girls dream of. Just remember your behavior at the moment when you made her fall in love with you, and compare it with what you do now. You are consumed by routine and everyday life. But most girls still manage - with more or less success - to maintain their attractiveness and sexuality. For some reason guys have problems with this.
5. Gain mastery in sex. If you know how to bring your girlfriend to orgasm and do it regularly, she is unlikely to stop wanting you. Good lovers don't lose respect because they have at least one good quality. Learning the wisdom of sex is not so difficult. And if you didn’t have a partner who could do this, turn to literature.
As you can see, you need to work hard on yourself to regain your wife’s respect. But all this will help you in the rest of your life. So your wife’s attitude is only the first indicator that something is wrong with you. Act quickly before you waste everything you have.
Modern representatives of the fair half of humanity are no longer the weaker sex, as they once thought. Wives try to rise above their husbands, trying to infringe and humiliate them. Some ladies openly cheat on their husbands, showing disrespect and causing pain. Will such persons treat their spouse with due respect? Perhaps, but a man needs to try hard.
This is interesting.
The sensational story of a wife’s disdain for her betrothed made the male population rejoice. The Egyptian lady showed her husband dissatisfaction with his salary and the constant lack of money in the family. The country's authorities have introduced a law that states that a husband has the right to file for divorce if his wife accuses him of insolvency. The Supreme Judge supported the decision in every possible way, considering such a harsh statement groundless.
Method 1. Love your own “I”
The wife will not respect a husband who disdains his own person.
Husbands who please their wives in everything need to change their strategy. Do you buy expensive things and perfume for your loved one, but wear faded jeans? Be careful, girls quickly get used to good things. Perhaps this is why your wife stopped respecting you; she got the impression that your husband is unworthy of more.
Don't let yourself be humiliated. Refuse tasteless food if this is actually the case. You are an adult, worthy man who needs high-quality and healthy food. Watch your figure, eat right, join the gym. Ladies love sculpted abs and broad shoulders.
Did your spouse buy a T-shirt on sale that looks terrible on you? Make her a doormat.
A girl dresses in expensive boutiques, spends half her salary on shoes from Botticelli, and at the same time buys her husband cheap T-shirts with crooked prints? Stop allocating money to whims, making it clear that you are the “leader of the pack.”
The situations described are a drop in the ocean of humiliation of male pride. Stand up for your point of view even in petty situations, love yourself and don’t let your wife suppress your man’s ego. Go to a good store, buy an expensive watch and beautiful shoes, after all, the budget is shared.
How to behave
If you have discovered most of the listed signs of disrespect on the part of your husband, your relationship needs to be changed. Here are some tips on how to do this.
Eliminate humiliation
The aggressor in the family is a man - most people are absolutely sure of this. However, numerous studies show that women are often the initiators of violence. They humiliate, despise their husbands, and actively use emotional violence.
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The husband has to fight for his image, self-respect; one of the defense mechanisms is showing disrespect towards the offender.
Therefore, exclude from your behavior actions that can humiliate a man and provoke him to self-defense.
Forget about blackmail
Something almost goes wrong, the wife threatens to pack her things and go to her mother. The second popular method of blackmail is sexual. The spouse uses sex as a means to insist on her own, without thinking that she is losing a way to build strong, good relationships and simply enjoy life.
Show respect
To be respected, you yourself must respect others. This especially applies to loved ones and spouses.
Don't ignore their wishes, don't put others first. There are two main characters in your relationship - you and your husband. You got married so that it could be so. Therefore, if you have a choice, support your spouse, spend time with him, trust him, show him how important he is to you.
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto: Pexels
You're not always right
Don't think that you are always right. Sometimes you actually did or said something right. Perhaps this happens often. But approach each situation objectively. Don’t wait with excitement and gloating when you again tell your husband that he is an ass incapable of anything.
Many conflict cases can be viewed from different angles, and even if you think you know better, listen to the opinions of others. This will enrich you and your family relationships.
Another option is to always listen to your husband’s advice and recommendations. This will increase his self-esteem and allow him to appreciate your positive attitude towards him.
Respect personal space
There is nothing worse than prying into your spouse’s correspondence, phone, or rummaging through his personal belongings without warning or permission. Don't do this, even if you suspect him of cheating. In most cases, this leads to the complete collapse of the relationship.
Respect for personal space does not pose barriers. On the contrary, it creates trust, recognition, and strengthens relationships.
Photo by Alex Green: Pexels
By the way, you shouldn’t forget about your boundaries - a world in which you can whine, grieve, gloat, and restore strength.
Avoid comparisons with other men
Comparison with others is a sure way to humiliate your spouse. Your husband is the best for you, that’s why you chose him, isn’t it? So why now point out that others are better. Admire your husband, develop yourself, spend time together, have fun.
Not only do not compare your spouse with others when communicating with him, but also do not speak badly about him in the presence of your children and other people. Self-respect is an important part of a man’s attitude towards himself. From this, respect for others is later built.
Give up tantrums
People who respect each other try to speak calmly in any circumstances. Screams are designed to attract attention. But if the wife is constantly hysterical, this leads to a feeling of fatigue in other people. They get tired of hearing discontent, sarcasm, accusations, empty screams. Such behavior destroys respect, allows you to anticipate further actions, and insults.
Photo by Kindel Media: Pexels
If you feel like you’re exploding and you can’t calmly convey your opinion to your partner, stop, take a deep breath, and rest. Try to find the right words and deliver them calmly.
Once I had to watch such a scene - a girl was arguing with a guy (he put her bag on the grass, and there were ants there). She was hysterical, screaming, almost hitting him. The guy stood, looked at all this, smiled, no longer even trying to say anything. At some point, the girl realized the meaninglessness of her behavior, bought a cup of coffee, sat on a bench and began to calmly talk about something with her boyfriend. Then they checked the bag together for ants.
Method 2: Become self-sufficient
Constantly look for options for additional income. Don't live off your salary and struggle to make ends meet. Most women blame their husbands for material poverty, as a result of which they cease to respect them. It's logical. There are no such ladies eager to marry a man sitting at home watching TV with a bottle of beer in his hand instead of doing business.
The question arises about a small salary? Convince the woman that you are trying to provide for your family. She made a vow at the altar to be with her husband in sorrow and in joy, in wealth and in poverty; reproaches here are extremely inappropriate. However, the advice about additional income remains relevant.
Get rid of laziness, read literature, develop yourself and lead your loved one. The man is the guiding line, the wife is the guided one. Take the initiative and don’t shy away from funny ideas; women love an unconventional approach.
Pursuit 2
When most people hear the word “stalker,” they imagine a paranoid maniac chasing a defenseless girl with a knife through the city at night. But in reality, stalkers can have other guises. And the pursuer does not necessarily have to be a man - sometimes obsessive behavior is also typical of girls.
There are several types of behavior that psychologists classify as stalking.
- Endless phone calls.
- A barrage of text messages. The victim literally has to turn off the phone in order to be left alone.
- Repetitive intrusive visual proximity: a person constantly flickers before his eyes when it is clearly disturbing.
Harassment is grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.
Method 3. Engage in re-education of your spouse
It is generally accepted that a man does not need to complain about his wife and about the car, they say, he chose it himself. But what to do when the situation gets out of control? That's right, re-educate.
Tied the knot with an eccentric lady? You'll have to sweat a lot. Temperamental girls are difficult to “train”; they have already developed a certain character and, by and large, such girls do not want to change anything.
Men who praise their women should reconsider their position. Stop indulging her, learn to say “No!” when a controversial issue arises. Pay attention to what exactly your spouse is unhappy with, then try to convey your own point of view in a calm voice.
Is your wife complaining about your constant absence due to work? Make it clear that making money while at home is quite difficult. If the arguments are unconvincing, invite the girl to start working while sitting on the couch next to you.
Are you quarreling with your wife because, in her opinion, you are not paying enough attention to your child? Make a compromise, show the qualities of a caring father. Show that even when you are tired, you care about your family.
Rude remarks
What could be worse than hearing rude words from your significant other. Giving advice to loved ones and expressing your point of view is normal. Maybe the person wanted to help or disagreed with the opinion, but it is wrong to answer in a harsh tone. There can be no question of respect for a man if a lady allows herself such statements. It is better to stop this before the man realizes this fact.
Method 4. Become an attentive lover
You can often hear the phrases from women: “My husband and I have boring and monotonous sex!” or “My husband doesn’t satisfy me!” Become an attentive lover so that your wife will look forward to you coming home from work in the evenings.
Sex for married people often loses its spark and becomes routine. Watch an erotic film together, flirt on the phone, discuss secret fantasies. For every talented lover there is a more experienced male, improve your skills and experiment. Light the wish candle again!
Comparison with other men
What hurts guys the most is when they start to be compared to others. This is the biggest mistake girls make, which speaks of female disrespect. Firstly, the spouse may be offended, and secondly, he loses self-confidence. You should never put your neighbor or colleague above your chosen one. Such an act can forever leave a sediment on your partner’s heart.
Method 5: Leave room for a riddle
You earn good money, occupy a high position, but your wife has lost respect for you? Stop spoiling her. It is clear that you are ready to fulfill any whims, but in everything you need to know when to stop. It’s not for nothing that Pushkin wrote “The more we love a woman, the less she likes us...”. Don’t run forward to fulfill all your beloved’s wishes, leave room for some mystery, you are not an open book. Let the lady ask for a favor, showing her need. This way you can gradually remove the crown from her.
Did your spouse give you a beautiful (totally unnecessary) writing pen for your birthday? Reciprocate.
Is the girl in no hurry to share family stories? And you shouldn't amuse her with stories about the events that happened last weekend.
As a rule, wives stop respecting their husbands because of their own considerations. Some are dissatisfied with the lack of attention to their person, others want to live like queens, and others do everything themselves without outside support. Identify the true motives of behavior and begin to act. Where the carrot is powerless, try the stick.
Why are they respected?
Respect is based on recognition of a person's merits .
These could be character traits, behavior, views and beliefs, achievements, etc.
Since the nature of men and women is very different, they evaluate their partners according to different criteria.
Women
Which women are respected? Men never lose interest in women who:
- They know their “worth”. The most popular are those representatives of the fair sex who, first of all, respect themselves.
They will never impose themselves, show excessive persistence, agree to unworthy offers, etc. - They have their own range of interests . Often in family life, wives concentrate all their attention on their children and spouse, forgetting about their own needs. As a result, they cease to be interesting to the partner. A man always respects his soul mate, who has his own activities, goals, and plans.
- Attractive to others . The demand of a woman “on the market” immediately increases her value. Often a man grows cold towards his other half due to negative changes in her appearance, style, and behavior. But as soon as a girl takes care of herself and acquires a circle of fans, her partner immediately begins to show more attention.
- They act feminine. This concept includes a whole set of qualities: the ability to please the opposite sex, run a household, show care and attention, and always look attractive.
Femininity is inherent in those representatives of the fairer sex who are in harmony with themselves and are clearly aware of their nature.
Men
Women value the following traits most in their partners:
- Confidence. A man makes all decisions himself without regard to the opinions of his parents or friends. He knows how to take responsibility and meet expectations. All his actions indicate the presence of character and will.
- Success . This is not only material wealth, but also the presence of a certain social status. In this case, the age of the partner plays a big role. Of course, a young guy who just graduated from college yesterday cannot boast of significant achievements. Mature men are already assessed by their partners precisely from the point of view of their merits, since the absence of them indicates lack of initiative and laziness.
- Self-sufficiency .
At first, obvious interest may flatter a partner’s vanity, but gradually a man’s excessive concentration on her person will lead to a loss of respect for him and the appearance of irritation. The partner should not constantly call, write, share all the hobbies of the chosen one and constantly be aware of all her affairs. - Physical endurance . A man is, first of all, a provider and protector. For this reason, representatives of the stronger sex must develop not only strong-willed qualities and intelligence, but also physical strength. Next to such a partner, any woman feels confident and protected.
- Restraint . Since, due to their psychology, most women are prone to excessive expression of emotions, they feel the need to have a partner nearby who will balance them. Men who remain calm in any situation and do not give in to women's hysterics always command respect.
Video: how to teach a woman to respect a man
According to statistics, 40% of married couples break up. Women, like men, periodically go “to the left,” so deceived husbands often think about how to punish their unfaithful wife for cheating. There are a huge number of ways to take revenge, but not all of them will bring the desired effect.
Gaslighting 3
This is one of the most subtle ways that tyrants and manipulators control relationships. And, of course, there can be no talk of any respect in the case of gaslighting.
This technique of emotional abuse involves instilling in the victim his inadequacy by absolutely any means. For example, a man finds a photo of a naked lover on a girl’s phone, accompanied by an SMS message: “I miss your silky skin, honey!” When he asks her what it is, she denies everything. To the point that the partner will show the gaslighter a photo of the man, and she will answer that she doesn’t see any photo - he’s hallucinating.
Cases of female gaslighting are believed to be rare; Mostly, this manipulative method is used by men. It is impossible to communicate with such people. If your partner is a gaslighter, chances are they are unlikely to ever change.
Reasons for female infidelity
It is important to understand why the girl took such a desperate step. The guy must eliminate the cause, not the effect. This can be called the only way to save a couple.
Often ladies are not ready for marriage. They didn't have enough time. This happens in young families.
A wedding is an important step. Before getting married, you need to make sure that both partners are ready for this, because family life comes with responsibilities and duties. Not everyone is ready for this.
Another common reason is routine. Love is a chemical reaction in the body. At the beginning of a relationship, hormones are in full swing, causing a person to experience ecstasy. After 3 years the senses become dull.
People begin to live together, constantly flashing before their eyes. Due to the lack of personal space, quarrels and conflicts occur.
To avoid thinking about how to punish a girl for cheating, variety is needed. Passive relaxation in front of the TV will not give you new sensations. It is worth traveling, going to interesting places. This needs to be done together. New joint emotions will ignite faded passion.
Often the cause of betrayal is intimate dissatisfaction. A man often considers a woman a conquered mountain, and since he has achieved her, it means that there is no need to make efforts to maintain the relationship. Such judgments are detrimental to relationships. A guy must fulfill his marital duty both in bed and outside of it.
Often women become victims of abusive relationships. The husband may drink, swear, or do other bad things. The wife wants normal love, so she leaves the family nest.
Big demands
In this life, no one owes anyone anything, not counting loans and debts. Moreover, in relationships people do everything for free, from the heart. The spouse works, provides for the family, and does his best. He comes home, and his wife tells him that a real man owes something. This speaks of blatant disrespect for the chosen one. With this phrase, the lady devalues her husband’s efforts and shows her rude attitude. This is not what a guy wants to hear from the girl he loves.
I liked a married man, but I myself was in the role of a deceived wife: what to do, understanding the situation
If the chosen one is dear, then such statements should be kept to yourself. Men need to be praised, appreciated and loved, then they will reciprocate. This is the only way to show respect, understanding and love for your other half.
Options for dealing with this situation
There are many options for how to take revenge on your wife for betrayal and painful betrayal.
First of all, it is necessary to determine what revenge will bring. Often men begin to do stupid things in an aggressive state, and then regret it. First you need to determine what you want:
- Is it worth saving such a marriage?
- Revenge on your wife for betrayal will be a beautiful final chord of living together.
Guys are rarely willing to forgive something like this. They are owners by nature, because of this they perceive the departure of a loved one for another man as a personal insult. A husband can take revenge on a girl for cheating in two ways:
- physical;
- moral.
Direct violence should be abandoned, since it is punishable by the Criminal Code. The law states that a person has no right to restrict the freedom of other people.
Before teaching your wife a lesson for cheating, you need to think things through. You need to understand what kind of person she is. You will have to hit the painful points to achieve the desired result.
Confirmation of his mistakes
Anyone can make a mistake; in life, things don't always go as planned. If something suddenly doesn’t work out for your spouse, then circumstances played a role. When the wife adds from above that she did not expect anything else, she finally finishes him off. With such words, the chosen one shows disrespect for the guy, and one day he will notice it. Instead, it is better to reassure your loved one or simply remain silent.
4 common female rules in relationships that men most often resist
Ways to punish a woman
You need to take revenge wisely. The guy must follow a number of rules in order to commit an act of revenge:
- Don't cross the line and end up in a prison cell.
- Understand whether he is ready to forgive his unfaithful spouse or not.
- Do not be led by emotions, so as not to regret your actions.
- Do not go beyond your own moral convictions.
Girls are punished for cheating in two ways: by ignoring or publicly disclosing information about the act that occurred.
Punishment using gadgets
Psychologists do not recommend resorting to this method to take revenge on a girl for treason and betrayal. This can hit a man's pride.
A guy can go into his wife’s phone and start conversations with other men. Thanks to this, the girl will be exposed in an unflattering light. Some write insults to their wife’s close friends.
This method does not always give the expected result. Those around him learn about the deception and begin to despise the stupid husband who is not able to accept a woman’s deception with dignity.
At the household level
Anyone who thinks about how to take revenge on the girl who betrayed him for cheating wants to throw away her things. This method should be abandoned. This kind of behavior is typical of wives, not husbands.
Some use sexual manipulation, but in the case of “looking for someone else on the side” this is not the best punishment.
It is worth limiting the unfaithful spouse in finances. Many girls earn less than guys, so this tactic can make them realize how dependent they are on their chosen ones.
Other ways of revenge
If you study the advice of a psychologist, you can understand that the ideal way to punish a wife for cheating is indifference.
The girl realizes that she has done a bad thing. A cold attitude on the part of a guy will make her shudder, which will worsen her inner feeling of discomfort.
Ignore the cheater. This will become real psychological torture for her. She will repent for a long time.
In case of divorce, you can use other methods:
- Tell your friends about your ex's shortcomings. A convenient way to lower her authority in the eyes of others. However, it is rare for a husband to take revenge on his wife for cheating in this way.
- Start a new romance. The girl should be better in all respects. This will bring not only moral satisfaction, but will also cause jealousy in the cheater.
Signs of Lack of Respect
Signs by which a man or woman can understand that their partner no longer respects them :
- outright boredom in the presence of the other half,
- contempt for the interests of the partner,
- accusations of greed
- use of obscene language, offensive statements,
- constant reproaches, humiliation,
- stinginess,
- excessive demands,
- lack of care and attention,
- ignoring needs
- showing interest in other people of the opposite sex (flirting, staring, flirtatiousness, etc.),
- comparison with other women/men.
It should be noted that such behavior signals a lack of respect, not love.
A person may by nature have a complex, contradictory character , to which is added bad manners and the inability to communicate with the opposite sex. As a result, a similar style of behavior is observed even in the presence of strong feelings for a partner.
Advice from psychologists
Experts recommend taking the news of betrayal with dignity. The best way is to help your wife pack her things with an understanding face. For a girl who is accustomed to having to fight for her, such behavior will be a shock. She has suffered a severe blow to her pride, she will begin to doubt her actions and may want to stay.
Also, psychologists do not recommend damaging your wife’s property. It is better to avoid such methods of solving the problem, since such behavior can lead to problems with the law.
The most important question is whether to forgive betrayal. The answer to this must be individual. People are different, so not everyone is able to forgive betrayal. For example, guys with high self-esteem usually get divorced. They understand that they do not want to continue living with a traitor.
A man should not pester his ex-lover's friends. Such methods aimed at hurting the offender look pathetic and repulsive.
A person must be able to forgive. This is difficult to do, but this is the only way to truly teach a cheater a lesson. Men are proud creatures, so they must face difficulties along the way with dignity.
How does disrespect for a husband end?
Firstly, when a wife says bad things about her husband, she not only does not respect him, but moves away. That is, it’s like she’s building a wall, putting a block in the way of energy that should go from her to her husband in order to charge him with her boundless support and instill confidence. There is a feeling that there is a complete stranger nearby.
Secondly, such behavior in itself takes a lot of strength and positive energy. And vice versa - women's participation, involvement, compassion provide an incredibly large charge for accomplishing grandiose things. Therefore, when there is condemnation, indifference appears, from which you simply don’t want to do anything. Simply put, in this way the wife cuts off her husband’s wings, which could raise her above the rest. And so - alcohol flows like a river, money is not earned, the thread of mutual understanding is torn. A vicious circle appears in which the “hated” person is powerless to change anything.
Thirdly, psychological distress appears in children for whom “mom and dad” are an inextricable whole. They see that the mother does not respect the father, and this provokes a lot of complexes and problems. Teenagers are especially vulnerable: they begin to study worse due to individual internal protest, they are rude, do the opposite, engage in dangerous habits, and so on. In general, they lose the ability and desire to maintain good relationships and follow in the footsteps of adults.
Refusal to compromise 7
Without the ability to agree and reach consensus in relationships, communication between people is impossible as such. This is important in any type of relationship - both romantic and between people in general.
If you detect these signs, you should convey your position to your partner. If he is ready to engage in dialogue and make efforts on his part to change his attitude towards you, well, it is quite possible that your love affair still has a future.
Sex is like a transaction. Forcing sex5
If your partner expects some benefits from you in exchange for sex, you can only dream of respect. Physical intimacy represents both pleasure and a way of intimate communication between people. If this area becomes the subject of extortion, it is worth considering on what basis intimacy with a partner is based.
Forced sex also speaks of disrespect. Your partner may not overtly threaten you; but under no circumstances, regardless of the phase of your relationship, can you be forced to have sex. By the way, in addition to violation of integrity, violence also includes disrespect for sexual preferences (for example, ridicule).
