How to cope with fear: a selection of useful materials

How to deal with fear? How to overcome fear? These and similar questions worry many people, because there are many different types of fears. The achievement of goals, the implementation of plans, and success in life, at work, in relationships, in sports and other areas depends on how well we know how to manage fear. So how can you master your condition and learn to cope with anxieties, phobias and other similar conditions? You can learn about this from our special selection of articles.

Typology of fears. The most common fears and phobias

Fear can be either completely justified or completely groundless. But regardless of whether it is rational or irrational, it must be understood in order to determine one’s further actions and generally be able to assess one’s condition. Fears are classified according to a variety of criteria, and there are even scientifically recognized classifications of them - B. D. Karvasarsky, Yu. V. Shcherbatykh, G. I. Kaplan and others. In the article you will get acquainted with these classifications, and also learn about the most common phobias. Read more…

Fear. What to do with him?

Recent research from Chapman University has shown that 90% of all people in the world experience fear from time to time, and 40% of them face problems because of this fear. And the problems, in turn, can be very different, ranging from mild psychological discomfort to depression and self-restraint, inability to achieve success in life and become happy, serious mental illness and even suicide. In this article, we will not only introduce you to interesting research data, but also tell you about the benefits and harms of fear, its causes and sources. But the main thing is that you can adopt effective methods and exercises to combat fears. Read more…

Express ways to relieve anxiety

What to do if panic takes you by surprise at the most crucial moment? There are several effective ways to help you quickly get back to normal:

Wash with cold water. When intense anxiety sets in, dissociation occurs. This is the principle of psychological defense, when a person perceives everything that happens as if it were happening to someone else, that is, from the outside. Control over feelings is lost, the pulse quickens, breathing becomes heavy, which further fuels fear. Cold water perfectly revives us, returns us to the body and distracts us from worries. We begin to feel in control again.
Clench your fists. In moments of strong excitement, any activity is very useful. Ideally, you can walk briskly or even jog a little. If this is not possible, then begin to actively clench and unclench your fists. The scheme is as follows: we clench our fists while taking a deep breath and unclench our fists as we exhale. You can place your palms on your knees or place them behind your back. Perform a few repetitions and then straighten your fingers as hard as you can. By this time, the anxiety should have subsided.
Repeat a calming phrase. Remember what Carlson said? He repeated: “Calm, only calm.” Start saying it in the character's voice. You can come up with something else, for example: “I’m safe,” “Everything will be fine,” “I’m completely calm.” Say the same phrase to yourself like a mantra for 1-2 minutes.
Panic. Yes, you read that right. To cope with something, sometimes it is enough to remove resistance. The more we resist something and try to suppress it, the more it overtakes us and intensifies. Tell yourself: “Yes, I am worried right now. And that’s okay.” You can even admit this to a loved one or the public if, for example, you are standing on stage. It will become easier.
Calculate. What to count? Whatever! Flowers on the windowsill, tiles on the wall, planks on the parquet, buttons on the shirt of the interlocutor. You can fix your gaze on some object and concentrate only on it. Or you can start coming up with associations: who or what do you associate your opponent with, who he resembles, whose voice he resembles.
Pretend. Fake it till you make it. Have you heard this American saying? It translates to “Fake it until you make it true.” Pretend to be someone who is confident and not afraid of anything. You can remember the hero from the film and imagine how he would act in this situation, what he would say, how he would feel in your place.
Breathe. Breathing practice is great for managing anxiety and stress. There are many options for such exercises. I suggest the simplest one. It's called "Square". For 4 seconds you need to inhale slowly, hold your breath for 4 seconds, then slowly exhale for 4 seconds and hold your breath again for the same time. Perform several repetitions and evaluate the condition. An exercise also helps when you breathe through a tense place in the body: identify it and direct your breath there, as if exhaling excitement and inhaling calm.
Select the alarm symbol. If you are going to an important event, take some attribute with you, such as a pen or handkerchief. Let this thing be a symbol of your excitement. Look at it: it is small, and you are big. The anxiety is not inside you, but lies nearby, while you can now speak calmly. You can do the opposite and choose a symbol of luck. Take some pebble or pencil, endowing it in your head with the property of bringing success. By the way, many famous athletes have lucky uniforms, shoes or props that they use only in competitions.

You may be interested to know what depression is and how it is dangerous for a person.

Interesting and unusual facts about fear

Did you know that fears, like genetic characteristics, can be passed on from generation to generation? What about what people feel, what fear smells like, although they don’t realize it? Did you know that fear has a very unique effect on the psyche and makes people see the world distorted? Meanwhile, this is exactly the case. But these are just some facts about fear that many people have no idea about. We invite you to expand your knowledge and get to know them. This will help you better understand why a person is afraid even when he knows that his fear is unfounded, and why fear has such a powerful impact. Read more…

Accept it as a fact: it is normal to be afraid.

Fear is partly why we exist at all: its job is to help How Fear Works us survive.
During evolution, prudent and moderately fearful individuals had a greater chance of surviving and procreating than those who were not afraid of anything at all. Fear can also become a good motivation for action. Thus, scientists from the University of British Columbia found out that Genius productivity hack: Tell yourself it's a horrible, hellacious, excruciating task, that people quickly deal with things that really scare them. Fear causes such discomfort that a person simply cannot tolerate it any longer: one wants to solve the disturbing problem as quickly as possible, so long as it no longer shakes one’s nerves.

For example, people who are seriously worried that they will not have anything to live on in retirement are 43% more likely to take action and start saving money than those who just sit and wait until they can no longer work. If you are putting off some problem for later, imagine the most terrible consequences of your inaction - fear will help you cope with procrastination.

"Hot ten" human fears. How to deal with fears?

What are you afraid of - tight spaces, darkness, frogs? Or maybe you are scared at the thought of being alone? Everyone has their own fear, but most people are afraid of bacteria, insects, poisoning, madness and old age. The most common fears even include such things as fear of intimacy and fear of being a coward. Surprising but true. We invite you to get acquainted with other unusual, but very “popular” fears. This article will be a worthy addition to your knowledge, and will also help you understand the nature of this amazing mental state a little better. Read more…

How to avoid panic and how to panic profitably?

Our worried editor Olya Tretyakova asks psychologist Polina Tur.

The day after the general self-isolation was announced, I ran out of milk and toilet paper. Because while everyone was buying up the most necessary things, I lived almost as usual and deep down I even laughed a little at the alarmists.

By the time everyone had stocked up until the very end of the Apocalypse, my meager supplies had just dried up. And I went out for milk. Of course, in compliance with all sanitary standards, that is, wearing a mask and disposable gloves. Maintaining a social distance from the rare passers-by, I ran to the nearest store, wiped down a sealed bottle of milk and a roll of toilet paper with antiseptic, put them in the backpack I brought from home and praised myself for following the new rules (and I’m doing a good job!). After which I decided to drop into a flower shop and buy a couple of bushes of my favorite daisies, carnations or eustomes.

The store was closed. And I burst into tears right at the entrance, looking through the window at the yellow bouquets. She cried, hiccupped and wiped her tears with her sleeve, and could not stop.

I understand that many will now consider me a capricious dragonfly, smitten over nonsense. Everything is so, and everything is not so.

Everyone has their own ways to overcome unknown cruel crap. Someone works selflessly under stress, someone shakes their butt, someone cooks Olivier. And I'm going for yellow flowers. I survived the collapse of the Soviet Union, perestroika and the crises of the 1990s, 2000s and whatever else there were. Do you know how? Thanks to the yellow flowers. When everything was falling apart, I bought a bouquet or picked a few dandelions, brought them home, and then looked at the flowers, sunny and bright, and thought: everything will definitely be fine. I can handle.

And the day before yesterday, when this method, tested many times, failed, I realized: nothing would be good. I can't handle it. Everything will be bad, bad, bad... And then we will all die! Ah-ah-ah!

My heart beat twice as fast, my hands and knees began to tremble, sweat appeared on my forehead, and it became difficult to breathe. At the window of a flower shop, I faced my panic. The most real one.

And having somehow returned home, I called a friend, psychologist Polina Tur.

Why are we panicking?

A lone beachgoer on Copacabana in Rio.
REUTERS/Ricardo Moraes Panic is a loss of control over the situation and oneself, Polina Tur explained to me. “It arises as a reaction to something unusual, frightening, for which we are absolutely not prepared. The feeling of horror is so strong that it obscures everything, preventing you from thinking logically. The mind turns off and animal instincts turn on: “fight or flight.”

From an evolutionary point of view, this is not so useless: it is better to get out of a situation that we have absolutely no control over. Or run out.

Is it normal to worry? Absolutely. The fact that you have an anxious reaction in a shocking, uncertain situation shows that you are a normal person. Anxiety is one of the survival mechanisms. It activates attention, control and planning and provides a chance to increase one's own effectiveness.

Panic or indifference?

Ballet dancer Ashlee Montague dances in Times Square. REUTERS/Andrew Kelly

That is, it’s ok to worry. But no one seems to care at all! Take, for example, recent events - while some people were buying tons of buckwheat and toilet paper, others continued to live their lives, spitting on this whole coronavirus along with quarantine and self-isolation. We went to barbecues and walked in parks. Maybe this is better?

No, Polina explains. And it's not just about social irresponsibility. The trick is that the basis of not giving a fuck is the denial of reality. And it also does not bring us any benefit. Denial is a defense mechanism of the psyche. For some people, certain situations can be so unbearable that the psyche gives up and turns on the defense: everything is fine, nothing is happening.

If you recently tried to force an elderly relative to sit at home, but he was eager to go to work, see his grandchildren, “just to the store and back,” then you understand what we’re talking about.

So what is worse – panic or indifference? What's worse - drowning or burning? Seriously, no one can teach you how to react “correctly.” Just keep in mind: both extremes are destructive. But there is a way out.

Try to consider anxiety not as a black and white picture, but as a gradient or as a scale, advises Polina Tur. On the one hand there will be indifference (0 points), on the other – panic (100 points). Now find your reaction in this segment.

What Polina talks about is called the “runner technique.” Our task is to set the slider on the anxiety scale so that its level is as productive as possible. On the one hand, he kept himself in good shape and helped protect himself. On the other hand, he did not allow him to act chaotically. That is, he pushed for the most productive actions.

A woman walks outside Castel Sant'Angelo in Rome. REUTERS/Remo Casilli

My slider is currently in denial. But the more I read news and world conspiracy theories, the more I think about the situation and watch the dollar exchange rate, the less I want to do anything at all. All I want is to hide from it all under a blanket with a TV series and cookies. So when things get really bad, I go into a parallel reality.

I have a toy called ZooCraft. These are a type of “farms” that were popular a few years ago. Only here it is not necessary to plant strawberries, but to breed rare animals, improve their areas, and escort lost visitors to the right enclosures. Fifteen cleaning paths and feeding the animals - and I’m ready to get back to real life and work. Why? Because I have a place, at least like this, a toy place, where everything is always good.

But that's me. No one can say for sure what level of anxiety is productive for you. Polina agrees: “This runner is individual for everyone, it is impossible to say: it is correct to worry at 30%, 50% or 70%. A person makes this choice himself.”

If you panic: ambulance

A dog wearing a mask in Shanghai. REUTERS/Aly Song

There are many well-known ways to cope with a panic attack: even out your breathing, close your eyes, pet the cat, pray or say a mantra. But what if this doesn't help?

If you suddenly feel overwhelmed, try the “OPORA” technique (based on the first letters of its keywords), advises Polina.

Stop . Just tell yourself “Stop.” Stop all actions, freeze like a stone statue. Don't move, don't say a word. Imagine that Harry Potter came up to you, pointed his magic wand at you and said: “Be dumbfounded!”

For what? This will save you from actions that you may later regret.

Take a look . What's going on around you? What do you hear, what do you see? Now shift your focus to yourself. What do you feel? How do you breathe? Mentally describe everything in as much detail as possible, like a stenographer.

For what? This will help you switch from painful destructive thoughts about the past and future to “here and now.”

Realize . What do you feel, what are you worried about (fear for yourself and loved ones, helplessness in the face of the situation, anxiety, excitement). Don’t judge, just admit: it’s all there – here and now.

For what? To accept the situation. This is the only way to move on.

Ask yourself . What do I really need right now? What actions will lead me to my goal? What can I do right now?

For what? To enable rational thinking.

Get active . Start the countdown: 5-4-3-2-1. And take action!

And most importantly: know that panic is not fatal. It has been proven that it cannot kill you, cause a heart attack, stroke, or drive you crazy. Panic is unpleasant, but it's not the end of the world. Try to remember this if she suddenly attacks you.

Here is a life hack from me personally. When it hits me, I save myself with water. If I'm at home, I go straight to the shower and stand under it for a few minutes. I sincerely believe and know from myself that water washes away all worries (please don’t ask about water bills, otherwise my pulse will become faster again:). If I can't stand in the shower, I slowly drink half a glass of water in small sips. There are 14 in half of my favorite cup. I know because I count them. And on the fourteenth sip, the panic recedes.

If you're still worried

A rapid transit train in Kuala Lumpur. REUTERS/Lim Huey Teng

Even if emergency anti-panic help arrives on time, the anxiety does not go away. I'm trying to stay productive, but every half hour a car drives by my window, broadcasting a message through its speaker: “Everyone stay home! Don’t go anywhere because of the threat of coronavirus!” And I'm worried. And who doesn't?

Polina says that you can also try to cope with this.

Recognize the fact that anxiety in these conditions is justified, it is a natural healthy reaction. So, worry.
Accept that the uncertainty factor is here to stay: there are too many unknowns in the Covid equation. We must take it as a given: no measures will give us a 100% guarantee of safety.
Become the boss. Considering the experience of world religions, even out of complete chaos, something worthwhile can be created in seven days. So identify an area where you are the boss. To overcome the feeling of helplessness and lack of control, focus on what depends on you, advises Polina Tur. What exactly can you do in the current situation to protect yourself? My answer is less social contacts, saving money and working for the future. So every day I write a plan and monitor its execution. And on Polina’s advice I tell myself: “I’m doing everything I can.”
Stop mindlessly surfing the news. Let's be honest: everything related to coronavirus is presented in such a way as to scare us as much as possible. The goal is good: to increase our social responsibility. But this is a fact: the dramatic presentation of news causes a feeling of panic and horror.
Scheduled alarm . This and the next two tips are from Robert Leahy, an American psychologist and author of 28 books (the main topic is anxiety and how to cope with it). Take time to worry. Tell yourself: at seven o’clock every evening I read the news and for exactly half an hour I worry from the bottom of my heart about the coronavirus, the dollar exchange rate and self-isolation. What's the trick? The fact is that, on the one hand, you respect your feelings and set a time to express them. On the other hand, when that time comes, perhaps the acute anxiety will resolve on its own.
Chew some gum. This will relax your tense jaw and you will feel less stiff. And with relaxation, anxiety will decrease.
Don't get carried away with stimulants. Less coffee, chocolate and stimulants. They have been proven to increase anxiety.
Smell the lavender. She really calms you down - that's proof.
Look into the eyes of fear. It’s difficult to decide on this, but it’s a working technique. Admit to yourself, what are you most afraid of? Formulate and speak out loud your main fear. In my case, this is not death from a virus, but death from hunger on the street. My biggest fear is that I won’t have a job, that due to the economic crisis and inflation I will have nowhere to live and nothing to buy the most necessary things. As a result, my son and I will die alone somewhere in a gateway. Following Robert Leahy's advice, I repeated these phrases over and over for 20 minutes, slowly and tastefully. At first it was terrible - I literally choked on my words. But here’s the paradox: after 20 minutes they lost their meaning, and with it their power over me went away.
Sort through your nightmares. We are afraid of a bunch of things: that due to the crisis they will stop paying salaries, that we will all get sick and die, that the virus will mutate and people will turn into zombies. And at the end of this horror film, a meteorite will fall on us. What to do about it? Imagine your fear as a movie. In all the details that you see on the screen. This will create distance between you and the horror, and will help you realize that many fears are unrealistic and should not be seriously worried about them.

I’ll be honest: after finishing this post, I felt much calmer than when I sat down to write it :) What techniques and tips help you? Share in the comments.

Expert:

Polina Tour

Clinical psychologist, cognitive therapist, PhD

48 thousand people follow Polina’s Instagram. And starting today, registration for her online course “5 Keys to Self-Esteem” begins.

The program includes: 8 webinars of 120+ minutes with the ability to connect to the broadcast and ask questions about the class time and watch recordings in your personal account.

For our readers - 20% discount using promotional code INSIDER.

Psychology of fear

Fear is a special mental state caused by a whole set of specific factors. It has its own mechanisms and features. In addition, fear is the body’s reaction to a possible threat, and therefore it helps to survive and avoid dangerous situations. But at the same time, it can lead to serious problems with physical health and mental health. Therefore, a modern person simply must understand the psychology of fear, as well as learn to manage and mitigate it. You will learn about all this from our article. Read more…

Human phobias and their treatment

Almost all of us have an irrational fear. For example, fear of mice or dentists. This is normal for most people because it does not affect their level of happiness or self-confidence. But when fears become so severe that they cause enormous anxiety and interfere with normal life, they are called phobias. The good news is that they can be treated or at least managed. From this article you will learn how a phobia differs from fear, what phobias exist and methods of treating them, including those that you can use yourself. Read more…

Advice from psychologists

Let's see what psychologists recommend for those who often feel extreme anxiety:

During times of stress, the ability to think logically tends to decrease. To restore the capabilities of the cognitive sphere, you need to switch to simple thought processes. For example, say out loud or silently today’s date, month and year, your date of birth, what time it is at the moment, name the place where you are, what objects surround you. You can also describe how you feel. Track and name 3-4 current emotions.
No matter how important tomorrow is, you can’t think of anything better than a good night’s sleep the night before. You shouldn’t cram speech or fill gaps in knowledge at the expense of relaxation. Get yourself at least 7-8 hours of sleep. Your nervous system will thank you.
If you feel anxious, take a piece of paper and write down all your negative thoughts. Firstly, a thesis note will help you focus on the present moment and stop the stream of consciousness, which takes up a lot of energy. And secondly, after reading the situation splashed out on paper, it may seem not at all as scary as it seems to the brain, which is under stress.
Don't be afraid to cry. Panic attacks often occur due to long-term suppression of emotions. Remember that tears are not a sign of weakness, but a way to pour out negativity and relieve the nervous system.

Fear: psychological foundations and famous scientific studies of this phenomenon

In this article we will consider fear as a unique psychological phenomenon, i.e. Let's talk about its psychological mechanisms, as well as the most famous scientific studies on this issue. Naturally, this material should not be perceived as a full-fledged scientific work, but it was based on the ideas of such researchers as V. M. Leibin, W. James, A. Adler, E. Erickson, I. P. Ilyin, L. S. Vygotsky and other. If you are a scientific person, you will definitely enjoy this article. Read more…

How to overcome fear?

Fear is a necessary protective function of the body. But sometimes fear of something really bothers a person. Especially when it comes to any phobias that penetrate into the very depths of our being and literally control behavior. But not every fear we have is justified, and often we have to experience it not because of real danger, but because of our negative thoughts and expectations. How to overcome fear? How to learn to distinguish real from imaginary danger? In this article we will look at an effective technique for combating fear caused by vain expectations. Read more…

Example from life

Imagine that your car was hit at a traffic light.
No one was hurt, but the bumper was dented. Naturally you will be angry. The other driver was so careless that now you will have to take on the hassle of repairing the car. But if you become enraged and rage for an hour, losing control of yourself, your anger is likely fueled by emotions related to some past incident. In relation to the present situation, your rage seems unnecessary and unfounded.

By letting go of the emotional baggage of the past, you can respond intelligently to events in the present.

Haptophobia - fear of being touched

How to work with fears

People believe that experiencing fear is something shameful and wrong. But in reality, fear is an indispensable part of human life experience, and it is common for all living beings on the planet to experience it. Fear is part of reality. But, as you know, a person has not yet reached the level where he can control it. Therefore, the only thing left for us is to take control of ourselves, i.e. their reaction to fear, however, not everyone can do this. We want to remedy this by sharing how everyone can learn to work through their fears. Read more…

Make a clear action plan

Let's say you're worried that you'll fail an important project at work. What can you do to deliver the task on time? For example, don’t get caught up in a TV series and don’t put everything off until later, but figure out how much time you really need and start doing important things right now.

Now imagine the worst-case scenario: something went wrong, and you still failed the project. What will happen next? You may be deprived of your bonus or fired. Do you have a resume ready and enough money to last until you find a new job? If not, it’s time to collect at least a minimal airbag - it’s not a fact that it will be useful, but it will be calmer.

The habit of analyzing negative scenarios helps to bring fear under control. Even if everything doesn’t go according to plan, you have a ready-made algorithm for solving the problem. Most likely, you will never need it, but it will inspire confidence in your abilities.

Online program “Mental self-regulation”

In this online program, in just 6 weeks you will learn to control almost any of your mental states, including fear. And in addition, you will master the ability to cope with stress at work and school, with difficult relationships in a team, with anxiety and apathy, the difficulty of taking the first step and procrastination. We have collected scientifically and practically based techniques and presented them precisely from the point of view of real application in life, and also tried to give the necessary minimum of theory and more games, tests, and exercises that will allow you not only to gain knowledge, but also to develop skills. Find out more...

Any person is able to learn to manage himself and his reactions to certain things. And for this you don’t even need to receive a specific education or be anything special. All you need is a desire to learn new things and a decent knowledge base. This collection of articles will provide you with necessary and useful information and help you master the necessary skills. So go for it, you will succeed!

We also recommend reading:

Storytelling
Psychology of fear
Systematic desensitization method to combat fears
Typology of fears. The most common fears and phobias
How to deal with the fear of rejection
How to deal with fears
Overcoming Fear
What is fear and how to overcome it
Your main fear
How to overcome the fear of a white page
Interesting and unusual facts about fear

Key words:1Psychoregulation

Where do anxiety feelings come from?

Anxiety and fear are natural emotions that nature has endowed humans with. In a difficult situation, they help him, mobilizing physical and mental resources, and in a moment of danger they can even save his life.

But in some people these negative states appear as if for no reason. In fact, there is a reason, it’s just hidden deep in the subconscious. For example, people who have experienced serious difficulties or severe shocks begin to fear that a similar situation may happen again in the future.

There is a category of people who have a weak nervous system. They tend to worry and worry when faced with any unforeseen situation.

Pessimists are also often worried and afraid. A negative outlook on life makes a person expect a bad outcome from almost any event. And if this really happens, the pessimist becomes even more confident in the correctness of his way of thinking, thereby strengthening his tendency to negative experiences.