Let's be honest: childbirth is a very exciting event, if not “frightening”. Conflicting stories from girlfriends who gave birth, a lot of information on the Internet, but at the same time the “unpredictability” of the upcoming process creates a very serious fear of childbirth in many pregnant women. At the same time, every sane woman understands with her mind that fear is an additional factor of stress and tension, without which the process of giving birth to a child will certainly be easier and more comfortable. How to get rid of this absolutely unnecessary “fear of childbirth”?
First of all, you need to understand that the fear of childbirth is not something abstract. This fear is formed from smaller fears and anxieties before specific events or sensations, which ultimately form the collective “fear of childbirth.” To deal with it, you need to deal with the “smaller” ones.
Fear of pain.
Even in childhood, many girls learn that childbirth is painful. Accordingly, this fear “lives” with them for quite a long time and takes “roots” deeply and thoroughly. It is important to understand that pain can be managed, there are several ways to do this:
- Psychoprophylactic methods, about which you can find a lot of information on the Internet or learn at courses for pregnant women. These methods primarily include special breathing techniques that help to concentrate and reduce pain.
- Epidural anesthesia or drug pain relief, which will certainly relieve you of pain. However, this method has opponents, since this method disrupts the natural course of the birth process. In this case, you should study detailed information about this type of anesthesia, consult with your doctor and make an informed decision. Perhaps in your particular case, epidural anesthesia will be less of an “evil” than panic fear of childbirth.
Fear of the unknown and “negative” cases.
This is more of a social fear than a biological one: in the information space there are so many “readable” stories of difficult childbirth, severe consequences, complications and dangers that even the most psychologically stable woman begins to “try on” these negative aspects for herself. And even after studying a lot of information about how childbirth takes place, what difficulties may arise during the process, what “signals” of the body you should pay attention to, childbirth is still scary. In this case, you need to constantly remind yourself that medicine also does not stand still, doctors know how to react in certain situations, moreover, in childbirth. Homes have all the necessary equipment for the most complex and emergency cases. For that. To reassure yourself as much as possible in this matter:
- Carefully study all the maternity hospitals “available” to you and choose the one that is most suitable for you.
- Find a good “doctor” and develop an “action plan” for yourself.
- Take your husband or another loved one with you to the maternity hospital, who can help you sort out the documents there, answer all the staff’s questions, protect you and give you confidence.
Fears during pregnancy
Pregnancy does strange things to your conscious and subconscious minds. Even the most reasonable and adequate women, conceived with a couple of higher educations, during pregnancy begin to act weird and give out the most bizarre phobias and follow signs. Leaving aside the very archaic horror stories, let’s talk about what you really don’t have to be afraid of.
“Sex during pregnancy? Unacceptable!
Sometimes even the thought of sexual contact seems blasphemous to a woman: “How can you offer me this?” After all, our baby is there!
Firstly, the baby is not “there”, but in the womb. The aquarium of the fetal bladder does an excellent job of shock absorption, the cervix reliably blocks access to the holy of holies. Secondly, there are very specific situations when sexual relations during pregnancy are prohibited.
Obstetricians-gynecologists veto sex if:
- the woman has had several miscarriages in the past;
- right now the doctor sees circumstances that threaten the termination of this pregnancy;
- bloody discharge from the genital tract appeared;
- according to ultrasound, the placenta is low or previa (blocks the exit from the uterus);
- there are signs of isthmic-cervical insufficiency (sutures are applied or an obstetric pessary is inserted).
In other cases, sexual activity is quite acceptable. Of course, the special situation makes some adjustments. It makes sense to somewhat limit the depth of penetration, change positions accordingly as the partner's belly grows, and avoid excessive pressure on the abdomen. Given the existing risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections, it is necessary to protect all types of sexual contacts with condoms.
Libido plays its own strange games during pregnancy. Sometimes everything happens exactly the opposite: the woman enjoys new unusual sensations, and the partner, in a pre-heart attack state, is afraid to even touch his beloved, who has suddenly become so... big. In the last couple of months before giving birth, sex should really be limited. Well, the fact that “the firstborn must be shown the way” is well known in the East and southern regions. Indeed, sexual contact may well become an additional trigger for the birth process.
“Flying airplanes? Pregnant women are definitely not allowed!”
When it comes to air travel, we confuse tourism with emigration. Of course, female pilots and flight attendants are “written off” immediately as soon as the second line appears on the test. We, ordinary air passengers, are in a much more favorable situation. It is worth soberly assessing the situation and well-being if the pregnancy occurs with serious complications - you can only fly on board the air ambulance. If the pregnancy is progressing physiologically, you should obtain a certificate from an obstetrician-gynecologist about the duration and course of pregnancy, indicating the expected date of birth.
The flight will be more comfortable if you take a seat in the front part of the cabin, use a pillow under your neck and lower back, wear compression stockings, periodically walk around the cabin and stretch your legs. Be sure to drink plenty of still water.
Some fears are associated with the need to pass through metal detectors and body scanner booths. You can rant for a long time about where electromagnetic radiation is used and where x-rays are used. In general, both are quite safe, but if you wish, you have the right to ask for a manual search.
"To dye hair? It’s definitely not possible, it’s all chemicals!”
Firstly, in addition to dyes with “all chemistry,” there are still completely natural henna and basma. Again, if the desire for naturalness is great, and contact with 6% hydrogen peroxide is scary, it is quite possible to refresh the color and structure of your hair with your grandmother’s products.
Secondly, the greatest danger is the risk of getting an unpredictable hair color. For example, a little greenish. Hormonal storms, that's what they are. Be sure to tell the master about your interesting situation, even if the period is very short.
The right specialist will select the optimal combination and minimize contact of paint with skin. By the way, it is not safe to hide pregnancy from cosmetologists, nail technicians, fitness instructors, massage therapists and pharmacists.
In the morning hours in salons there is less chance of inhaling “delicious” hairdressing smells, but these fears, in my opinion, are completely unfounded. I remember in the late 80s, when I started wearing contact lenses, ophthalmologists categorically forbade removing lenses in hairdressers. Apparently they were also afraid that it would corrode. But these problems are already in the past.
“The baby needs to eat. The baby wants something tasty"
Eating for two is a very bad idea. Obstetricians and gynecologists strongly recommend abandoning “market” cottage cheese, giving preference to dairy and fermented milk products with low fat content. Remember that healthy and tasty fruits are, first of all, easily digestible carbohydrates, so you should not eat more than 500 grams of fruit per day. Hey, dear ladies, cherries and strawberries will very soon appetizingly occupy your food baskets. 500 grams per day is quite enough for both you and the baby. Ruthlessly limit your desire to eat chocolate, but you can easily afford one or two cups of coffee a day.
“Pregnant women have nothing to do in the gym!”
Of course, if you have never stressed your body in any way in your life, then starting active sports during pregnancy is at least strange. In any case, you should not make complaints to the body: your back hurts, your stomach is tight, your legs are cramped, it’s difficult to breathe, and so on. It's difficult for the body. In a very short time it increased in size, changed the center of gravity, increased the load on the joints, and pushed the kidneys and gastrointestinal tract into an uncomfortable position. Of course, your body is complaining to you. Who else should he tell about how the round ligaments of the uterus and the oblique abdominal muscles stretch?
In our progressive times, there are a huge number of exciting fitness programs for pregnant women: from yoga to water aerobics. If you like something or, it’s scary to say, like it, then you can maintain your love for physical exercise for many years and instill this habit in your children. What could be better?
“Giving birth is scary”
It's true. Giving birth is really scary. Early birth or late birth - it doesn’t matter: it’s scary to give birth to both the first and the fifth. Obstetricians and gynecologists know this enemy well by sight. Fear paralyzes the will. No matter what anyone says, childbirth is work. This is a benefit performance and a premiere. This is a solo performance by a woman. We, doctors and midwives, are just extras at this celebration of life. And the walls of the most pretentious maternity hospital are just decorations. Of course, if the “prima” clearly fails the performance, we have to play supporting roles and even solo. Fortunately, in most cases, women manage to cope brilliantly with the task to our thunderous applause.
Back in the 60s of the twentieth century, a method of psychoprophylactic preparation for childbirth
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It is successfully used all over the world; it is being revived in modern Russia along with the cult of motherhood. The essence of the method is to tell the woman in detail how childbirth proceeds, how to behave at each stage and how to minimize all unpleasant sensations using breathing or movements
.
In my opinion, there is one more important point that is worth realizing before entering the maternity hospital: you will not be able to escape. Pregnancy is a final process, one way or another, but you will have to let go of the burden. Give up the hope that “if anything” they will kill you. In the period of pushing, it’s too late to have a Caesarean section; you’ll have to work—push and breathe. Not only the life and fate of your child depends on how much you are able to gather strength and spirit: in these 15-45 minutes you ensure the future of your entire family. It's worth the effort.
I strongly recommend to my patients the great psycho-prophylactic cartoon about the adventures of everyone’s favorite Masyanya in the maternity hospital. Everything about him is beautiful: the precursor contractions, the desire for everything to be “natural,” the urgent demand for anesthesia, and even the obviously prohibited obstetric aids. Watch this cartoon every week from the 35th week of pregnancy and discover something new every time you watch it.
Be strong and brave. You will definitely overcome everything: how to choose a maternity hospital, the birth itself, the marriage of your daughter, and the birth of a grandson. Congratulations to you, women!
Oksana Bogdashevskaya
Photo thinkstockphotos.com
Fear of giving birth to a premature baby.
All you need to know in this case: even if it happens that the baby is born ahead of schedule, modern medicine will help cope with such a situation! A child born at 22 weeks is quite viable, even babies weighing only 500 grams grow up healthy.
Try to think positively and not create additional stress for yourself and your baby, this will only bring anxiety. Get ready for the difficult work that lies ahead of you and your body during the birth process. But this job is quite up to you! Everything will be fine.
How does psychological attitude affect childbirth?
The success of childbirth is influenced by attitudes. The fact is that a woman’s attitude towards childbirth is formed throughout her life. Since childhood, she has heard conversations about this exciting event. These can be stories about torment or about a holiday, long-awaited joy, test or sacrament. Women have different stories about childbirth. But more often these are stories of suffering...
Why do women tend to share negative experiences about childbirth? Firstly, there is a stereotype in society according to which a woman should give birth in pain. Accordingly, if you gave birth without torment and suffering, then it seems like you didn’t “earn” it, didn’t deserve a child...
Another reason may lie in the feminine essence. The fact is that demonstrativeness, as a personality trait, is inherent in most representatives of the fairer sex. This manifests itself in the fact that it is vital for a woman to receive the attention of other people. A woman tends to talk publicly about her experiences many times. Accordingly, narratives about significant events should be dramatic and exciting, and evoke compassion and empathy. Especially childbirth! Here you can not be stingy in describing your own suffering and experiences!
And with what feelings does a nulliparous woman listen to these stories? The mechanism of psychological infection turns on, and... the emotions, feelings, attitudes of another woman become her own.
And there is one more nuance. People are more likely to talk about bad things than good things. We complain more often than we report about successes and achievements, victories and the easy flow of life. At the very least, by complaining and trying on the role of the victim, you can count on sympathy.
So women who have given birth endow those who have not given birth with negative scenarios, attitudes and feelings.
