Telephone phobia: description, symptoms. What to do with the fear of calling?

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Each of us, at least once in our lives, has had to make a call to a stranger or to some serious company, institution, etc. For certain people, a conversation on the phone with a stranger is almost no different from a conversation with loved ones, relatives, and acquaintances. However, there are people who feel discomfort, self-doubt, and anxiety when talking to strangers. In psychology, this condition is defined by the term telephone phobia.

Causes of phobia

Fear of making phone calls does not mean a person has physical disabilities. These are more likely mental problems. There can be a number of reasons for such fear:

• fear that someone will be rude at the other end of the phone;
• low self-esteem;
• decreased concentration;
• receiving unpleasant news.

With fear of rudeness, a person is afraid of receiving a dose of negativity addressed to him. Such sensations are not only unpleasant, but also quite painful. Those with a fear of telephone conversations recognize communication only in real life, when they can look into the eyes of their interlocutor.

Some people are afraid that I might be rude to them, simply not pick up the phone, not say hello, or insult them in some way. Negativity always causes unpleasant and painful sensations. To cut off the possibility of contact with words that degrade human dignity, many try not to contact colleagues they know by phone.

If an individual has low self-esteem, then he may not be able to correctly express his own thoughts or express words consistently and clearly. Awkward pauses often occur in a conversation, the meaning of the conversation is lost, and the interlocutor is not involved in the discussion. As soon as the realization of this fact comes, the desire to talk on the phone immediately disappears.

Decreased concentration provokes a fear of telephone calls. A person loses the thread of a conversation, he forgets what was discussed. There is a fear of this method of communication. Psychologists agree that such fear is characteristic of people who have attention deficit.

It happens that in life, unpleasant news is communicated over the phone. Severe stress is experienced, as a result of which telephone conversations are associated with terrible news. The phobia most likely arises not during the conversation itself, but when it is necessary to answer the call.

Fear of telephone conversations also appears due to irrational thoughts and negative emotions. Psychologists offer special training for those with phobias. This way you can positively solve the problem. Sometimes a person is able to cope with fear on his own, but to do this he needs to do a lot of work on himself.

The psychological attitude should be as follows:

1. Before you start getting rid of a problem, you need to think about a positive result. It is important to understand that the interlocutor is not interested in the identity of the person who is on the other side of the telephone line. He calls to receive or exchange information. As soon as an acquaintance, colleague or friend has received the necessary information, the conversation can be forgotten once and for all. There is no point in worrying or wasting your resources on negative emotions, because the communication was short-lived.
2. There is no reason to worry when talking with loved ones. It’s better to be glad that you can hear a native voice on the phone, which gives a positive charge for the whole day or week. The main thing is to imagine your interlocutor in as much detail as possible, how he smiles, pats you on the shoulder, and extends his hand to introduce you. A great technique would be a smile. You need to maintain a good mood for as long as possible.
3. As soon as fear takes hold of an individual, the mind immediately loses control. It is for this reason that it is so important to think rationally. There is no need to succumb to panic attacks, they are harmful to physical and mental health. If you are afraid of talking on the phone, light music and aromatic oils help best. If sweets bring peace of mind, then you shouldn’t deny yourself them. Some people find comedy movies and communication with loved ones lift their spirits. It all depends on personal preference.

Solving the problem: step-by-step instructions

Even with severe fear, when there is a fear of telephone conversations, you can use gadgets. Fighting a phobia is a long process; it requires persistence and a meticulous approach.

A sample plan for getting rid of fear looks like this:

1. Before making a phone call, you need to imagine your interlocutor in as much detail as possible. If there is such an opportunity, then the first short calls are best made to people you know well (ideally, relatives). If you are going to talk on the phone with a stranger, then it is best to fantasize about how he speaks in real life, how he smiles, pours tea, straightens his hair or glasses. This technique reduces tension as much as possible, contact becomes almost real.
2. When you are afraid to pick up the phone, you can delegate this action to friends or acquaintances. It is advisable to be nearby, for example, in the next room, in order to make sure that nothing bad happened, and you can safely continue the conversation. It is important to record success, to be as close as possible to the person who will answer the call.
3. Careful rehearsal of the telephone conversation also helps. It is allowed to imagine, think through what will be discussed, what emotions the interlocutor will experience and what words to pronounce. It helps to write down approximate phrases that can be pronounced, and sometimes formulating questions for the person on the other end of the line eliminates fear. A piece of paper where all the words are written down is an opportunity for concentration. It allows you to collect all your thoughts in one place so you can start a conversation calmly.
4. The fear of telephone conversations goes away when you understand how other people have achieved success in the fight against a phobia. It’s not enough to just reassure yourself; you need to back up your thoughts with facts. You can learn the rules of etiquette when talking over a gadget. Sometimes it helps to observe the conversations of people who are distinguished by their sociability. Success is easily achieved if you compliment your interlocutor and maintain a friendly tone.
5. Don't be afraid that you don't have any ideas about what to talk about. Most often, agreeing with your interlocutor helps you get out of such a situation. Here it is enough to simply concentrate on the dialogue, tell yourself that everything will certainly work out.

Please note that pre-conversation rehearsal is a great help in combating a phobia. Psychologists recommend recording the proposed dialogue on a dictaphone and then listening to it, highlighting the main points. This technique is repeated until the fear of telephone conversations is minimized. It is important to clearly formulate your thoughts, so you can ask questions more accurately. This will give you confidence and a sense of composure during the conversation.

The main thing is constant training. You need to call your acquaintances and friends as often as possible. Gradually the person gets used to the idea that he is no longer afraid to make phone calls. The best practice is to call unnecessarily, for example, to check the price of a product in a store or the availability of tickets at the cinema box office. By repeating the topics of the conversation, the phobia gradually goes away, and the very fact of a phone call becomes less scary.

If working on yourself does not bring the desired results, then it is better to seek advice from a specialist. A psychologist or psychotherapist, together with the patient, looks for the cause of the phobia, adjusts the process of getting rid of it, and goes through the process of receiving phone calls. There is no need to fear relief from anxiety, every person deserves to be happy and live a quality life with minimal stress.

How to deal with the cause of fear

The fear of telephone conversations has appeared recently. Today is the age of technology and communications. Communication and information have long been a part of life. A large number of means of communication have appeared that replace the telephone. For example, there is Skype and Viber, which provides more opportunities for communication methods.

A telephone is just a toy, an alarm clock and a camera. Almost no one uses landline phones anymore, just like telephone booths.

To get rid of the fear of telephone conversations, psychologists recommend calling as often as possible. You can get a job at a company that does marketing, where you can hone your communication skills via telephone.

Kinesiology is also used in the fight against phobias. Science works with the body, through it experts try to reach the heart. This technique connects soul, body and spirit.

The method has been known since 1972. When a person experiences a stressful situation in childhood, by adulthood such an episode becomes erased from the subconscious. The cause of fear does not lie on the surface, so the individual himself cannot find it. The fear of telephone conversations is remembered only by the body and subconscious. Telephone phobia is most often hidden in children's stories.

It turns out that a person forgets about stress. The subconscious, in turn, remembers everything in detail: colors, light, smells and even the time of year. As soon as one of the factors is repeated, the heart begins to beat more and more, and autonomic disorders become obvious. Additionally, emotional symptoms will be visible.

The body itself can remember situations. The kinesiologist just needs to take the patient’s hands and then ask questions related to the phobia. Muscles can't lie.

As soon as a problem is pulled out of the subconscious, it must be immediately reprogrammed. The brain is a smart computer. Files are easily written and erased. The specialist enters a happy phobia code, the fear of telephone conversations disappears, and the person opposite may fall in love with communication through gadgets.

How to overcome phone shyness?

Many people know that they have phone shyness. We need to fight this. How? Read this article and apply it in life.

An interesting fact about shyness is that it can come in a variety of forms. That is, you may be very comfortable speaking in front of an audience of hundreds of people, but feel nervous when talking to someone face to face. Or you may be very comfortable talking in person, but literally panic if you need to pick up the phone and call someone.

Do you fall into the latter category? Does the very prospect of calling someone, whether it's to order pizza, make your heart race and fill you with fear and stress cortisol? As a consequence, do you put off making phone calls as long as possible?

If so, then the digital age has been an amazing find for you. Phone use has dropped significantly, and has been replaced by email and text messaging. However, there are still times when you need to contact someone by phone, and telephone phobia can become an obstacle, keeping you from doing important things in life (calling to make a doctor's appointment) and depriving you of opportunities (calling, to clarify information regarding a job application).

If you get nervous when you need to call someone, today we'll talk about what causes this type of shyness and how to overcome it. What Causes Phone Shyness? There can be as many reasons for phone shyness as there are people who suffer from it. Perhaps you had a negative experience of receiving annoying calls from important people, or you were yelled at over the phone while working in the customer service department; and now you associate the very thought of a telephone conversation with stress and negativity.

More often than not, though, phone shyness comes down to how limited a form of communication it is. When we talk to people face to face, our gestures, body language, and especially our facial expressions play a huge role in clearly communicating what we want to say. On the phone, however, we are forced to communicate only using our voice. This creates a lot of pressure: Will I remember what I want to say? Will I speak clearly and will they understand what I am trying to explain or reveal to them? This is especially important if you don't like something about your voice or something that makes it difficult to understand your words; You may mumble when speaking, have a speech impediment, speak too quickly, speak too softly, or sound like a woman or teenager when in fact you are a grown man.

All of this is compounded by the fact that you have to manage the unknown. When you call, you don't know for sure what's going on at the other end of the phone. Who will answer the phone? Or perhaps you'll hear a voicemail? Will you be able to contact the person you are looking for? Will they be ready to receive your call or will you disturb them? Thus, telephone shyness is caused by the knowledge that you will be judged only by your voice, and not knowing what will happen when the call is picked up on the other end. How to overcome phone shyness

Just like with other types of shyness, there is no magic cure for overcoming phone phobia, but there are a few things you can do to control it. Before you call

Use tactical breathing to calm your nerves.

If your hands get sweaty and your heart starts to race even at the thought of making a phone call, do a few relaxation exercises before the call. One of the things that helps in this case is “tactical breathing” (so named because of its use by police and soldiers to quickly calm and focus during firefights). Here's how to do it correctly: 1. Slowly take a deep breath for 4 seconds. 2. Hold your breath for 4 seconds. 3. Exhale slowly for 4 seconds. 4. Hold the empty breath for 4 seconds. 5. Repeat until your breathing is under control.

Create a “story” of what you want to say. Writing out what you want to say reduces the unknown and makes you feel more confident that you will be able to remember and clearly convey what you hope to convey during the call.

Write the “introductory part” word for word, as this can be the hardest part of the call; once you're done with this threshold, you'll feel less nervous. In the introduction, you want to convey who you are, where you are calling from, and/or why you are calling. For example: “Hi, my name is Jerad Smith and I applied for your open position last week. I want to know if you have had a chance to view it yet?”

After you've written your introduction, make a list of the main points you'd like to cover during the conversation. Try to anticipate what the person on the other end of the line might ask you and what you would like to answer. Write down numbers and names you may be asked to provide. If you're making a social call with, say, a girl you like, write down possible conversation topics and questions you can ask her to keep the conversation going.

Add as much detail to your “script” as possible. You probably won't be able to read it word for word, but it will give you a feeling of confidence when making a call. Rehearse . If you're particularly nervous, try rehearsing your opening sequence before you make the call. Place the phone to your ear and speak into it for the most realistic experience. First, call someone you feel comfortable talking to on the phone. Before calling a stranger/someone who makes you nervous, call someone like family or significant others who you feel comfortable talking to on the phone. After talking with them for a while, make your next call immediately.

This is a very effective technique for calming phone shyness, as the first call calms the part of the brain that associates a phone conversation with stress. During a conversation

Move around and gesture. Research has shown that when your hands are constrained when communicating (for example, when you keep your hands in your pockets), you become more nervous and use more filler words (such as “ummm”). This happens because you are unable to gesture and are less confident that you are communicating your thoughts clearly. So even though the person you're talking to can't see your body language, gesture anyway to make yourself feel better. Walking probably helps you relax, too.

Smile. Although we often think that we smile only in response to feelings of calm and happiness, smiling can actually create these feelings. Research shows that smiling during a stressful activity, even if it is entirely artificial, reduces your heart rate and stress levels. Plus, your words will sound more friendly to the person on the other end of the line.

Look in the mirror when talking . One of the things that creates anxiety during phone calls is that all the feedback you receive comes down to the person's voice. You don't see their facial expressions when they talk. So, looking at yourself in the mirror can help you feel less self-conscious; rather than talking into an empty abyss; this tricks your brain into thinking that you are communicating with the other person in person (who is actually quite friendly and likable!). As a bonus, the aforementioned studies on forced smiling have shown that its happiness-inducing effect is enhanced when you look at yourself in the mirror with a grin.

Practice. People who suffer from phone shyness are often advised to find a job where they will have to make a lot of phone calls; It is believed that regular practice in this capacity will, over time, destroy a person's telephone phobia. This might work, but I know two people who got jobs that required a lot of phone communication; and while they had no problem making phone calls in the workplace, it didn't help them feel more confident making calls outside the cubicle. The reason is that the role offered by the job takes you away from yourself to some extent; it's like someone else is calling on the phone, so you're not as nervous.

Regular practice as “ourselves” will be more effective. Set a goal of making one call a day. An easy way to do this is to call companies and ask about their hours of operation. “Hi, I just wanted to know what time you close today.” Just one line, and that's enough. Develop your own way of making calls that requires a longer introduction and more discussion.

Find a reason to call customer service. Make business appointments. Of course, perhaps the best technique for overcoming phone shyness may be to marry someone who will allow you to delegate most of that calling responsibility to that person. That's exactly what my phone-shy spouse does, and who offered a lot of tried-and-true tips for this article. Thanks Kate - I think I'll go and order us some pizza to celebrate the end of this article...

Original article: https://www.artofmanliness.com/2015/03/12/how-to-overcome-phone-shyness/

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Conversation rules

When talking on the phone, to avoid a phobia, you need to adhere to certain rules. The main ones include:

1. You need to be attentive to your interlocutor. It is important to dial the number correctly so as not to disturb other people. If a mistake occurs, you should definitely apologize.
2. At the beginning of the conversation, it is better to introduce yourself. The exception is communication with very close people (mother, son, childhood friend).
3. Taking the lead during a call is another way to be successful. This is a respectful statement about yourself.
4. If it is not clear who is on the other end of the line, then you can directly ask what the interlocutor’s name is. It is advisable to introduce yourself to each other.
5. The conversation should be tactful. It is important to clarify at the beginning of the conversation whether it is convenient for a friend or stranger to answer at a given time. This is a respectful attitude towards time.

To make the maximum positive impression, sight reading is allowed. It is advisable to speak clearly, at medium volume. Sometimes pre-prepared abstracts help. You can safely peek in them, since no one sees.

Features of etiquette

The situations and people you need to call vary. You can recruit a person at a completely inopportune moment; he may be in a bad mood, tired, irritated, feeling unsatisfactory, or busy. Etiquette has certain rules for communicating on the phone. People whose work requires them to constantly make calls are obliged to follow these rules, but they do not succeed all the time.

You need to accept that a person may be rude, will not answer the required questions, or will not want to communicate at all. It doesn’t matter what issue the call is about.

In any case, you need to prepare to hear any answer and you don’t need to give up talking on the phone after unsuccessful communication.

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