Examples of vanity from life
Life is rich in events, and examples of vanity in it can be found much more often than it might seem at first glance:
- The guy tells everyone that he is an excellent sports dancer and is very successful in this path. In fact, he only knows basic, primitive movements, he just loves praise and flattery.
- An office employee boasts to his colleagues that by the age of 25 he has a car, an apartment and a country plot, and they are losers, since they rent apartments and travel by public transport. It’s just that the benefits that a person boasts about so much were inherited from his parents.
- A person who has long graduated from school continues to set himself as an example for everyone, boasting about his own good grades and certificates for participating in regional Olympiads.
- A woman quarreled with her husband because he did not notice her new hairstyle and did not give her the required number of compliments.
- The child really wanted to earn the praise of his parents, so he began to invent stories about good deeds that he allegedly performed (transferred his grandmother across the road, helped a girl find a lost kitten, showed the way to a lost passerby). Parents cannot verify the authenticity of his words, so they believe the child and praise him. As a result, he decides to regularly invent good deeds in order to earn his parents' approval.
- The businessman wanted to impress his friends and decided to buy the best yacht. He was so carried away that he spent all his capital on the ship. As a result, the business went into decline.
What examples of vanity do you know from your own life experience? Maybe you or your friends showed vanity. Share in the comments.
What is vanity and why did you have no idea about it?
Vanity is empty arrogance, arrogance, the desire to be an object of fame and veneration.
Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary
Having decided on the terminology, let's turn to biology. The feeling that pushes us to act for the sake of recognition from others is caused by the need to dominate in the community. The more influence a male or female has in a group, the greater their chances of successfully mating and producing alpha children, which means, in addition to strength and agility, you need to be able to inflate your chest with a wheel better than anyone else, have the brightest colors and a ringing voice.
Among our distant ancestors, with the development of social relations, the nature of “showing off” also changed. Now the leader had to have not only developed muscles, but also a solid bone in the nose and the most luxurious skin on the shoulders.
It is at this moment, with the appearance of external ritual attributes, that the remaining members of the group develop respect for “status”, its individual signs, and, consequently, a heightened desire to obtain it. Over thousands of years, these elements became more complex, going through the stages of tribal, slave-owning and feudal development of mankind.
During the Middle Ages, when the “old” nobility occupied the main privileged positions, and the “new” one had not yet appeared, various layers of society came to a strange balance in their perception of each other. No, the desire to be “above” others has not gone away, but the very position of the aristocracy, essentially still military, for some time excluded the very concept of vanity from use at the top.
Fine clothes, expensive ammunition and other things inaccessible to mere mortals have become an indicator of the elite. The wealth of people was determined by their appearance, by which the status quo was calculated with the naked eye.
It was not forbidden to dream of a higher position, but the emerging system of relations among the feudal lords excluded attempts to “jump to the top.” You are who you are, and you cannot be anyone else. You will not earn more than the prince and can only influence what is inherent in your status.
One of the things that is perhaps least accessible to the understanding of a noble person is vanity: he tries to deny it even where people of another kind do not doubt its obviousness. It is a problem for him to imagine people who try to instill a good opinion of themselves, although they do not have one about themselves - and, therefore, also do not “deserve” - and who then themselves become imbued with faith in this good opinion. […] Only with great effort, especially with the help of history, can a noble person make accessible to his imagination the fact that from time immemorial, in all somewhat dependent strata of the people, the ordinary person was only what he was considered to be: not at all accustomed to himself to set a price, he did not attach any other price to himself than that assigned to him by his masters (to create values is the true right of masters).
Friedrich Nietzsche, "Beyond Good and Evil"
This situation did not last long. The development of states gave birth to new “social elevators” that lifted, for example, wealthy merchants or clergy to the top. The peasants, who periodically rebelled because of extortionate taxes and the disgusting attitude of the nobility, also began to be taken into account.
During this period, it was the clergy, who had extensive influence on the mass consciousness, who struck at vanity with a backhand.
When vanity is useful
Any aspect or phenomenon has positive and negative features. Undoubtedly, vanity has many more negative sides than positive ones, but sometimes it helps a person.
For example, it is vanity that is the mechanism for launching a person’s undertakings, his self-improvement (growth on the career ladder, studying at a prestigious university, high-paying job). Energy and passion for accomplishment appear.
Often it is vanity that helps a person achieve widespread success and recognition. The most striking example of this is show business stars.
Do you think vanity can help in life? Or does it just get in the way? Give your examples under the article in the comments.
What it is
Many directions consider what vanity is and, despite the difference in approaches of religion and psychology, social and philosophical sciences, the perception of this quality remains uniform in the section of shortcomings. Moreover, due to many personality traits that are objectionable only to one person, vanity causes harm to both the person and the environment. In many ways, a vain person is not even aware of his problems, since the mechanisms that trigger such an attitude towards the world are largely subconscious. As a result, significant personal connections may be destroyed, career development and other social aspects of life may be stalled, while the individual herself, missing out on her contribution, is at a loss, not knowing what to do.
Empty vanity implies undeserved praise, regardless of the initial level. Thus, an artist whose exhibition once thundered throughout the world will expect the same worship for all his works, even if they do not contain an objective element of creativity. But a person whose self-esteem is inflated can expect applause and admiration from any of his steps, even in professional activities where he does not have minimal knowledge.
Vanity functions through an increase in other shortcomings, for example, when a person does not see the desired response from others, he can begin to use boasting and lies, and in order to provide himself with a constant supply of positive emotions, he surrounds himself with liars and flatterers. This way of existence ultimately turns out to be quite frustrating, because flatterers usually look for their own benefit and will leave at an unfavorable opportunity, and their own lies and boasting can destroy the last sincere connections.
In fact, it may seem that vanity moves a person towards development and achievement, because these people do not forgive themselves for their mistakes and want to show good results in any area. This is a claim to ideality, where ambition is so high that it is impossible to achieve without being a fairy-tale character or deity. High-ranking positions, dancing skills, energy levels and ability in molecular chemistry - all this should be on top (or at least so others should claim). So it turns out that vanity is quite suitable as a driver for the beginning of new achievements and aspirations, but it does not stop even after, changing a person’s entire life.
How to protect yourself from other people's attacks
A vain person often experiences misunderstanding from the people around him, and some are openly laughed at and made fun of by colleagues and friends. There are various ways to protect yourself from such people.
To begin with, it is worth understanding what the characteristics of a vain person are and why he acts this way. If his behavior bothers him, you can try the following:
- Limit your communication with a proud person in favor of other people.
- Understand that such people are not capable of empathy and reduce all conversations only to their own achievements.
- Do not turn to a vain person for moral support.
- Build your self-esteem based on internal factors, and not on the words of narcissistic people.
- Do not allow such a person to manipulate anything.
- Ignore his blatant attacks and lies.
- If you need to criticize a vain person, do it tactfully.
It is worth showing sympathy for a vain person, because often this condition develops due to serious problems in childhood, incorrect upbringing and example.
The main signs of the sin of vanity
Photo: Psychcentral.com
Since the passion for vanity is multifaceted, recognizing signs in yourself is sometimes difficult, but still possible. If we talk about the main signs of vanity in a person, then among them it is worth highlighting the following:
- a person reacts excessively painfully to dishonor;
- We are waiting for a special reward from God and gratitude from people.
- if someone is better than a vain person, then he reacts to this excessively painfully;
- the merits that are attributed are embellished by their work;
- a person envies those who have achieved greater success than him, trying in every possible way to surpass the superior;
Suffering from vanity, a person deprives himself of the fruits of divine reward, becomes more ambivalent and self-satisfied, humble and vile, after which he gradually falls into error, completely losing the signs of spirituality. If you do not fight this sin, it will have very serious consequences for the soul, so it is worth starting the fight against bad passion as soon as possible, returning again to the grace of the Lord.
How to get rid of vanity
How not to be vain:
- Talk less about your loved one and your achievements, especially if people haven’t asked about it. If the interlocutor is still interested in this, then try to answer the question as succinctly as possible.
- Do not express your opinion on any matter, give up the habit of criticizing.
- If it is very difficult to control yourself, then at first you should speak less.
- Give up the habit of bragging and advertising yourself.
- Behave neutrally towards people, do not express harsh criticism, even if someone’s behavior irritates you.
- Try to accept criticism from other people adequately.
- Regularly think about what is happening, reflect on your behavior and its motives.
It is worth sticking to this behavior for at least a couple of weeks, and you will feel how excessive vanity is gradually disappearing from life.
Questions and answers
Features of arrogant behavior are actively discussed on forums. Psychologists are asked many questions about vanity and its manifestations in human life. The most common of them:
Pride, arrogance, vanity - all this is cured by humiliation
Humiliation is the other side of vanity. A humiliated person feels insignificant, worthless, inferior. It is difficult for him to communicate with friends and colleagues on equal terms; it seems as if they are superior to him in many qualities, such as beauty, intelligence, and talent.
But the human psyche cannot withstand prolonged stress; from time to time an individual looks for ways to relieve his psychological stress. There are different discharge methods:
- Aggression towards the weak. A humiliated person causes mental or even physical pain to others (those who are younger, weaker, more defenseless). For example, an employee listens to aggressive criticism from a manager, yells at his wife at home, she scolds a child, and a boy chases a cat.
- Eccentric behavior. In order to rise in his own eyes, a humiliated person attracts attention, deserves the approval and admiration of other people. Positive emotions do not last long; euphoria is followed by self-flagellation and self-deprecation. Such emotional swings shake the psyche, deepen psychological trauma, and internal split.
- The fight for a place in the sun. A humiliated person strives to prove superiority, restore his own importance, and increase self-esteem. To do this, she fiercely participates in contests and competitions, and “gnaws out” lucrative contracts from her competitors. Having become rich, successful or famous, an individual boasts of his achievements to others and proves his own superiority.
Although arrogance and humiliation are related to each other, one of these qualities is not an antidote to the other.
Why do so many people have this unreasonable sense of importance?
The basis for inflated self-esteem is formed in early childhood and adolescence. Often an ambitious personality develops among friends, teachers, and coaches.
The main reasons for vanity:
- Children's psychological trauma associated with humiliation. Parents systematically criticized the child, did not recognize his achievements, and nullified all his efforts. Having become an adult, a person strives to earn universal recognition, praise, and flattery in order to compensate for his inferiority complex.
- Conflicts at school. A student who was bullied by his classmates grows up arrogant, proud, and arrogant. These are his “masks”, a kind of defense mechanism from a cruel, inhospitable world.
- An atmosphere of selfishness. When a baby becomes the head of the family, parents indulge all his whims, satisfy his desires and whims. The child skillfully manipulates adults, becomes spoiled, demanding, proud, arrogant.
- Vanity is a protest in response to undervaluation by the other sex. For example, a girl in her teens was not particularly beautiful and was an “ugly duckling” whom boys laughed at. Having matured and become attractive, she takes revenge on men, showing arrogance and arrogance towards them.
- Compensation for defects. An inferiority complex encourages an individual to intensive self-development. This is how an ugly boy becomes a worldwide genius in order to increase his own self-esteem and make up for the lack of some qualities with others.
There are many more reasons for vanity than those listed above. To find them, you need long-term work by a psychologist and contact with the patient’s subconscious.
How to get rid of vanity
There is no universal pill for vanity. But psychology provides several methods with which you can get rid of delusions of grandeur:
- Talk less about yourself, express your own opinion only when others ask for it.
- Admire other people's achievements.
- Listen calmly to flying words and excessive praise.
- Engage in self-development (then there will be no time left for pride in your own achievements).
- Stop comparing yourself to others.
If you start fighting vanity with frenzy, you can come to the other extreme - self-deprecation. You shouldn’t attach great importance to your own shortcomings and fight them hard. Detached observation of oneself from the outside is the best cure for any psychological problems and complexes.
Vanity is the need for vain glory
Vanity is a negative personality quality, which is expressed in a painful need to prove one’s superiority, receive praise from others, and achieve fame and honor.
According to Christian tenets, it is one of the eight deadly sins that can destroy the human soul and give rise to other base passions. How to overcome vanity? Let's try to understand this difficult issue.
The noun vanity comes from the merger of two words - futility and glory . In its literal interpretation, the meaning of the word vanity is the need for empty honors. A deeper interpretation suggests that earthly glory is perishable and transitory, therefore the desire for it is a waste of internal strength to the detriment of one’s spiritual development.
Words close in meaning (synonyms) are pride, arrogance, arrogance, arrogance, boasting, arrogance. Antonym words (what are they?) – simplicity, modesty, humility.
Possible causes
Character and worldview are mostly formed in childhood, and vanity is no exception.
Like high self-esteem, it occurs when parents constantly praise the child. He should receive praise for his achievements, but undeserved praise becomes the cause of overconfidence. A media personality's vanity causes her much less problems than the average person. If he did nothing in childhood, but constantly heard that he was exceptional, disappointment will overtake him in adulthood: due to fair criticism, he will feel misunderstood and underestimated. This gives rise to intrapersonal conflict. In simple words, a spoiled child turns into an adult who does not know how to adequately assess what is happening.
The opposite situation is possible. A disliked child from a dysfunctional family, who hears something pleasant addressed to him, may become dependent on the approval of strangers, compensating for problems with loved ones. He can also convince himself of exclusivity in order to raise his self-esteem.
Note!
Children, whose pride is just emerging, tell lies and treat their younger brothers and sisters with contempt.
There may be problems in the team. They strive for independence and dream of leading an adult lifestyle. Children under five years of age have only minor egoistic manifestations.
For example, they become furious when people try to shame them. Starting from senior preschool age, vanity becomes noticeable. Teenagers are trying to start working part-time, communicate with older guys, and have a sex life in order to get rid of the feeling of inferiority in front of adults that depresses them. Many adults become arrogant when learning something new. For example, they learned a foreign language at an intermediate level. Those who know him less will become an object of ridicule. The reaction to linguists who speak English fluently will be aggressive.
