Self-esteem - what it is: concept, structure, types and levels. Self-esteem correction

We suggest conducting an experiment. During the day, in different situations, try to catch yourself thinking. What are they most often about? According to psychologists, 80% of the time a person thinks about himself. How to submit the report in time, what I look like, why he looked at me like that, why the boss called me, what I want to eat for lunch. At first glance, it may seem that most of the questions concern the daily routine, facts, and activities. In fact, we all reflect, that is, we evaluate ourselves:

Well done for being able to submit the report. I look worse than usual. He likes me. I'm afraid to go to the boss. I'm fat, it's time to lose weight.

It is self-esteem that we devote 80% of our thoughts to, so we definitely cannot ignore it. And the better you understand what it is and how to raise or lower it to an adequate level, the more successful your life will be and the stronger your mental health.

What is self-esteem

In psychology, the definition of self-esteem is given in different ways. For example, Robert Burns (England) includes it in his “I-concept” and interprets it as the totality of all a person’s ideas about himself. W. James (USA) classifies it as a primary emotion and puts it on a par with anger and pain. S. L. Rubinstein (Russia) considered it the core of self-awareness and an indicator of the level of development of each individual person and one of the main conditions for the transformation of an individual into a personality.

If we summarize the work of domestic and foreign psychologists, self-esteem can be defined as a personal formation, formed under the influence of external factors and self-development, regulating a person’s behavior and reflecting the originality of his inner world.

Everyone needs it for self-determination. Adequate or inadequate, can lead either to harmony and happiness, or to conflicts, neuroses and dissatisfaction with life.

Functions

Adequate self-esteem performs a number of important functions in a person’s life:

• adaptive - promotes socialization;
• protective - ensures stability and independence;
• corrective - teaches self-control;
• motivating - makes you go forward and achieve your goals;
• reflective - allows you to see yourself from the outside;
• prognostic - stimulates at the beginning of activity;
• developing - motivates to improve;
• regulatory - provides a choice;
• retrospective - allows you to draw conclusions after the end of the activity;
• terminal - allows you to stop at any time;
• emotional - gives a feeling of harmony, happiness, self-satisfaction.

With inadequate self-esteem, these functions are disrupted and lead to a decrease in quality of life.

What does inadequate self-esteem lead to?

Consequences of low self-esteem

Such self-esteem leads to the fact that a person refuses Raising low self-esteem communication and interesting projects, devalues ​​himself - and as a result, risks relationships, career, may miss interesting opportunities, and does not try new things. He gets used to the idea that he is worthless and helpless, it becomes more and more difficult for him to cope with these feelings, and avoiding difficulties becomes the main tactic.

In addition, low self-esteem can undermine mental health and is associated with depression and anxiety disorders. Do you have data on How Do You Feel? Self-esteem Predicts Affect, Stress, Social Interaction, and Symptom Severity during Daily Life in Patients with Chronic Illness, which speak about the connection between the level of self-esteem and the condition of chronic pathologies: in people with low self-esteem, diseases are more severe.

Also, a person with low self-esteem finds it difficult to defend himself, he is more easily manipulated and can get stuck in toxic and traumatic relationships.

What is self-esteem?

Levels

By level it can be:

• underestimated (low);
• adequate;
• overestimated (high).

There may be different gradations within them:

• inflated level: above average, high, inadequately high;
• understated: below average, low, inadequately low.

The most serious problems with self-esteem arise at its extreme gradations - if it is inadequately high or inadequately low. In the absence of psychological help, this leads to social maladaptation, professional failure, and failures in family life. A person does not realize himself in any areas and withdraws, which provokes various personality disorders and even suicide.

Kinds

Depending on relevance:

• prognostic (the one that happened in the past);
• current (the one that is now);
• retrospective (one that can be formed in the future).

Depending on distribution:

• general (manifested by a person in most situations);
• private (at work, with family, with friends);
• specific situational (in unforeseen situations, with unfamiliar people).

Depending on the flow:

• conflictual / destructive;
• conflict-free/constructive.

Depending on consistency:

• stable / stable;
• unstable/unstable.

The latter classification is used quite often, since unstable self-esteem can lead to mental problems. For example, a tyrant boss at work turns into a humble henpecked boss at home. The result is dissociative identity disorder. Or the girl recently underwent treatment for alopecia and considered herself worse than everyone else, but today she won a beauty contest, albeit a regional one, and now considers herself almost a goddess. Diagnosis: megalomania.

Therefore, it is so important to promptly form and constantly maintain the foundations of stable self-esteem: introspection, self-development and healthy relationships with other people.

Exploring your history

Comparing ourselves with others is in our nature. Social media has made this task easier: people post the best things in their lives, and it can often feel like your reality is much duller.

To get rid of this feeling, it is useful to write your story. This can be done on paper or digitally. Starting from the day you were born, remember and write down the important moments in your life. Those that are dear to you personally, and not those that would impress other people.

Maybe your first slow dance was a real event for you, or you remember your acquaintance with the work of your favorite writer. Add in difficult decisions - these are also important milestones. For example, leaving an unloved job or moving.

Refer to this chronology every time you start to feel like nothing interesting is happening in your life. You will see that you have been through a lot and this will increase your self-esteem.

Brief description of levels

The main character traits of a person who has adequate self-esteem:

• a realistic view of yourself and your achievements;
• critical assessment of one's capabilities;
• setting goals that can be achieved;
• state of harmony;
• self-confidence and self-confidence;
• realizing your talents and abilities;
• goodwill, but at the same time the ability to say “no” in the right situation;
• the ability to admit your mistakes and correct them;
• self-discipline;
• constant self-development.

Such people, as a rule, have stable career growth, good family relationships, a circle of friends, and respect from others.

When the level is too high, the following are observed:

• unshakable confidence in one’s own rightness;
• imposing your opinion on everyone around you;
• intransigence in disputes, inability to lose;
• failure to admit one's mistakes;
• constant competition with everyone;
• placing blame and responsibility for failures on others;
• denial of one's own shortcomings;
• selfishness.

People with such a character can achieve career heights, but become despot bosses. In family life, these are despot husbands and bitch wives. They rarely make friends. People around them try to avoid them.

A low level is characterized by:

• constant self-criticism;
• dissatisfaction with one’s own behavior, actions, and whole life;
• resentment towards any criticism;
• indecision;
• fear of mistakes;
• dependence on other people's opinions;
• the desire to please everyone;
• inability to say “no”;
• a constant feeling of guilt, which over time becomes neurotic;
• pessimism;
• envy of the achievements and successes of other people;
• prone to rumors and gossip.

Such people rarely achieve professional heights. These are uninitiative gray mice, which, however, can cope well with routine work. In the family, these are henpecked husbands who take care of children and housework, and humble wives who indulge their husbands in everything. If there are friends, then they are the same as them. Relationships with others do not go well, since they are most often outcasts in society.

Avoiding Negative Thinking

We often engage in negative internal dialogue without noticing it: “I won’t succeed,” “I’m too lazy to achieve anything,” “I’m too ugly for anyone to like me.” All these thoughts greatly influence our attitude towards ourselves.

The exercise is to write down all the negative thoughts you have about yourself. At the end of the day, re-read them and turn each one into a positive thesis statement.

Instead of “I won’t succeed” - “I can do a lot, I can learn this too.” Instead of “I’m too lazy” - “I achieved what I have, and that’s already a lot.” Instead of “I’m ugly” - “Many people like me.”

Repeat these phrases every day for a week. Soon they will begin to appear in your head on their own.

How is it formed

Children's

Preschoolers

As a rule, a preschooler's self-esteem is slightly inflated, and this is not a pathology. They are still just learning to live in the world around them, idealizing both it and themselves, trying to be like adults. No one will criticize young children for their appearance. Everyone is touched by them, they dress them up like dolls, and admire them. They may be scolded for their behavior, but this is done by those people whom they trust. Despite the punishments, they still know that they are loved.

However, it is worth considering that the foundation of self-esteem is laid precisely at this age.

Understatement at this stage occurs in children from disadvantaged families if they do not hear words of admiration addressed to them and do not see beautiful outfits. Subsequently, even if they manage to reach certain heights, they will always doubt themselves.

Overpriced - exactly the opposite: the child is bought all the best and his exclusivity is instilled in him. In the future, even if he does not realize himself, he may develop delusions of grandeur. It can be extremely difficult for psychotherapists to get to the bottom of such self-inflated self-importance.

Junior School

In younger schoolchildren, self-esteem undergoes significant changes. The parents' opinion about the child is supplemented by the attitude of teachers and classmates, and it can be different. The simultaneous formation of discipline and social adaptation gradually begin to lower the bar. It turns out that compared to others, he is not the smartest, not the most beautiful, etc. With adequate support from his parents, problems will not arise. If adults scold the child for every failure at school, self-esteem will rapidly fall.

high school

From 5th to 7th grade is a relatively calm period. Hormonal surges, exams, falling in love and other tests are still ahead, so children evaluate themselves more or less adequately. Inflated egos are diagnosed in those who are spoiled by parents, favorites of teachers and informal leaders in classes. Low self-esteem stretches from childhood and elementary school, turning children into gray mice and outcasts.

High school

According to statistics, about 50% of high school students are not able to evaluate themselves adequately. There are many reasons: puberty with hormonal surges, unrequited love, career guidance, upcoming exams, fears of a future life outside of school. Most teenagers aged 13-17 years old need help from a psychologist.

Men's

The formation of self-esteem in men in childhood occurs under the influence of a combination of different factors: parental upbringing, relationships with friends, success at school, appearance. Even if there are problems in any of these areas, the boys immediately realize themselves in something else.

A good example: a child prodigy with a frail physique fails in physical education classes, but at the same time takes prizes in mathematics Olympiads. Or a poor student who is not good at science goes into sports and achieves results there.

In adulthood, men's self-esteem depends mainly on career growth, income and social status.

According to statistics, 20% of men have low self-esteem, 40% have high self-esteem and 40% have adequate self-esteem.

Women's

A woman's self-esteem is most often formed under the influence of her father. If he raised her like a princess (within reason), problems usually don't arise in adulthood. If he was unable to find an approach to his daughter or was completely absent, the determining factor becomes the mother’s upbringing, and in adolescence, first the influence of friends, and then the attention of boys.

In adulthood, women's self-esteem largely depends on appearance and recognition from men. Even iron ladies who occupy leadership positions feel like a fragile girl inside, waiting for protection and compliments from the fairer sex.

According to statistics, 75% of women have low self-esteem, 10% have high self-esteem and 15% have adequate self-esteem. This is explained by a tendency to self-examination, close and not always justified attention to the smallest details, and high demands on oneself.

Despite the fact that the foundation of self-esteem is laid in childhood, its development occurs throughout life, as it depends on external factors: career and social adaptation in the first place. An example is stars who have achieved world fame, but who were humiliated by their peers or parents as children. Julia Roberts, for example, hated herself for her big mouth, and Sylvester Stallone for his facial paralysis. Now they are successful, loved by everyone and satisfied with themselves.

Factors influencing the formation of self-esteem

The reasons for low self-esteem lie in childhood and are influenced by a number of factors.

Social

Even from infancy, the first inclinations of future self-esteem appear. Sometimes children grow up in an environment that does not meet the requirements of pedagogy and psychology. During upbringing in families and educational institutions, little attention is paid to individual and age-related characteristics, and they do not take into account that the child must make his own assessment of the world.

Ideas in society are distorted, so it is impossible to achieve full cultural and social development.

If a person's self-esteem is influenced by the attitude of other people, then his position in society will also influence it. It is assessed not based on the achievements of a particular person, but by looking at the status of the family. Therefore, at a young age, in order to establish one’s own value, it matters what relatives, friends and neighbors think about him.

Personal

In forming an opinion about himself, a person is guided by his own behavior, internal standards and values. The more discrepancies with the standard view of the world, the lower the self-esteem.

Although people evaluate themselves and other people according to the same criteria, they are more strict with themselves. The formation of self-esteem involves internal experiences that others do not have access to.

Serious changes in personality self-esteem are observed in adolescence. Children begin to pay more attention to appearance and listen to the opinions of others. They begin to be critical of themselves, noticing the slightest shortcomings and highlighting their strengths. Age-related characteristics prevent you from adequately assessing yourself and drawing the right conclusions. A self-esteem test for teenagers will help detect problems with self-esteem. Parents and teachers must take measures of psychological influence to prevent the teenager from becoming an insecure and uninitiative person.

Life depends on your attitude towards yourself. When underestimating one's abilities, a person is prone to passivity, is less popular, constantly seeks confirmation of his own inferiority, and becomes dependent on outside opinions. Such people do not believe compliments and often remain lonely. Diagnosing the problem will help you select methods and technologies to solve it.

Family

Self-esteem is formed in the family.

Psychologists are convinced that the structure of personality is formed during the first five years of life.

At this time, the child feels vulnerable and emotionally attached to the family. Therefore, parents must provide help and understand what consequences are possible if they mistreat their child.

Low self-esteem arises if they demand obedience, teach you to adapt to other people and be neat, and interact with others without conflict. If a child is prohibited from doing many things and his right to his own opinion is not taken into account, then this causes an inadequate assessment. If parents say that he won’t succeed, that he is not educated enough and similar things, then gradually the child will think that this is so, because who knows better than his mother what is right.

Such communication with children, an attempt to put them in a subordinate position leads to psychological breakdown. This destroys the child’s trust; he perceives the world around him with hostility and does not consider himself valuable to it. To raise self-esteem, parents should demand less from their children, and support more and allow them to make their own decisions.

Average self-esteem is formed if parents take a condescending and patronizing position towards the child. They are tolerant of children's behavior, but do not allow them to act and make decisions on their own, as this causes anxiety. The child is prevented from gaining independent experience and opening up outside the home.

Next on the scale is high self-esteem. It appears if the child lives in a close-knit and solidary family, where they support and respect each other. In the child’s eyes, the parents are successful, the mother has a positive attitude towards herself and her husband. In such families, children readily follow the patterns of behavior given to them and feel confident in their abilities. They are not exposed to stress, are friendly, live by the principle of a realistic assessment of themselves, and cultivate strengths and weaknesses.

Children who tend to overestimate their self-esteem only go forward, they set goals and try to achieve them by any means. Those who are accustomed to underestimating their capabilities prefer modest goals and are not confident that they will achieve them.

To avoid low self-esteem syndromes and provide the child with self-confidence, parents must be willing to perceive him as he is, but objectively, without excessive condescension. Discipline should be built on the principles of justice, establish clear and achievable standards of behavior for the child, and provide him with a value system that will allow him to become an individual with reliable guidelines, capable of differentiating successful actions from unsuccessful ones.

In education, you need to use general principles, and not give scattered instructions that are confusing. In the future, this will provide confidence in actions and create favorable conditions for forming an opinion about yourself.

If parents provide external control at the proper level, this will form the ability to control their actions. The social environment for the child will be orderly, and he will feel comfortable in the world and will trust others. This will teach you how to regulate relationships with other individuals.

But when social reinforcement is vague and inconsistent, self-esteem is damaged.

If you outline the images and rules of behavior, this method will allow you to create a self-image in a child. Research shows that already in the early stages of his development, a person learns to understand the difference between himself and other people, understands how desires differ from reality.

Parental demands demonstrate parental concern for well-being. Therefore, if you tell him: “Do whatever you want, just leave me alone,” this shows that he is not worth caring for.

Self-esteem tests help identify its level. Tests are carried out in adolescence, since during this period deviations in personality formation are more pronounced.

Principles of "self"

Self-assessment of activity based on the principle of “self” is also called internalization of other people’s assessments. This is the theory of the mirror self. Such shifts are sustainable and, along with the main self-esteem, those that were not affected by the assessment of society change. When receiving an inflated group assessment, the level of aspiration gradually increases, which goes beyond the limits of qualities considered positive.

More global metamorphoses under the influence of external assessments are observed if a person thinks that all his comrades have this opinion about him. But it is worth remembering that people’s temperament and sensitivity to other people’s opinions differ. There are people who don't care about the opinions of others. But there are also individuals who try to meet the expectations of others and rebuild themselves according to their desires. They are sensitive to negative judgments about themselves.

This indicator determines the degree of development of self-esteem, self-worth and a positive attitude towards one’s “I”. If symptoms of low confidence are identified, you need to figure out how to improve your self-esteem. Many techniques are used for this, so you can choose the right one for each specific case and get rid of the problem.

It is necessary to correct personal problems, since subsequently the person will limit communication with others and protect himself from emotions. He will become a lonely hermit, which, combined with uncertainty and the belief in his own uselessness, will turn life into a real hell.

If you don’t want to give up and are ready to really, and not in words, fight for your full and happy life, you may be interested in this article .

Diagnostics

Dembo-Rubinstein

One of the most famous and adapted diagnostic methods is Dembo-Rubinstein. It was developed in 1962 by T. V. Dembo (American psychologist), and then supplemented in 1970 by S. Ya. Rubinstein (Soviet psychologist).

The psychologist sequentially draws vertical lines on a piece of paper, announcing that these are scales of happiness, character, intelligence and health. The person is given the task of marking himself on them. After that, he is asked to show where, in his opinion, happy people are located on these columns. It is not difficult to guess that those who have low self-esteem put themselves under them; above them - those who are overestimated; somewhere nearby - who has it adequately.

Rubinstein, using a modification of the De Greefe test, supplemented this diagnosis with a children's version. When working with the mind scale, schoolchildren are asked to compare themselves with the teacher and classmates, etc.

Zang scale

The purpose of the technique is to identify the level of self-assessment of anxiety. It was developed by psychotherapist W. Zang at Duke University (North Carolina, USA). The self-esteem scale consists of 20 statements to which you need to give monosyllabic answers:

• rarely;
• Sometimes;
• often;
• Often.

Before filling out the questionnaire, you are warned that answers must be given based on your own condition over the last 5-6 days.

Next, the psychologist sums up the points and gets the result:

• up to 44 - normal / corresponds to adequate self-esteem;
• 45-59 - mild or moderate anxiety / self-esteem requires adjustment, can be either overestimated or underestimated;
• 60-74 - pronounced or severe anxiety / low self-esteem;
• 75-80 - extremely severe anxiety disorder / critically low self-esteem, requiring serious intervention from a specialist.

The Zang scale (abbreviated as ZARS - Zung Anxiety Rating Scale) allows you to determine a person’s self-esteem, and not just the degree of his anxiety.

Self-assessment sheets

They are actively used by teachers, together with school psychologists, or administrators. They allow you to identify how students/workers evaluate themselves in the classroom/workplace. Regular tracking of results allows you to determine a person’s level of self-esteem.

Sample self-assessment sheet for a primary school student:

For high school students:

Employees are usually asked to rate on a ten-point scale such indicators as:

• volume of work tasks completed;
• the quality of their implementation;
• competence;
• independence;
• desire for self-development and professional development;
• punctuality, discipline;
• thrift;
• reliability;
• relationships with colleagues;
• relations with superiors;
• innovative activity, creativity, creative potential;
• social work.

Full-time psychologists work with the results of such diagnostic sheets. In clinical and advanced cases, they provide all possible assistance or refer to a more experienced and professional specialist.

Diagnostics is not limited to these methods; there are many more of them. But most often it is test questionnaires (Leary, Rosenberg, Eysenck, Budassi, Cattell, Schur and others) that are used.

Warning. Numerous online tests do not give an accurate idea of ​​the level of self-esteem for various reasons: unknown authorship, inappropriate environment and condition (a psychologist prepares for such a diagnosis), brief and unprofessional interpretation of the results, disposable and entertaining nature. So, if you are interested in this topic, either go for a consultation with a specialized specialist, or look for the author’s famous questionnaires.

Accepting your characteristics

Almost every person has traits that they don't like. You know perfectly well what doesn’t suit you about yourself, be it short stature, excess weight or baldness.

Make a list of these qualities and write a thank you note for each one. For example: “Thanks to my bald head for helping me spend less shampoo,” “Thanks to my height for the fact that I can fit comfortably in any car,” or “Thanks to my belly for carrying my child.”

You may not like some of your traits, but they make you who you are. The attitude towards them can be changed. And loving yourself is much more useful and pleasant than always being dissatisfied with yourself.

Working techniques

In NLP (neurolinguistic programming) there are various techniques for working with self-esteem for its correction and proper formation.

Positive attitude

It is important to assess every situation positively. If it was successful, praise yourself; if it was a failure, draw conclusions and work on your mistakes. This technique involves speaking affirmations and self-persuasion.

List of weaknesses and strengths

2 lists are created. The first indicates positive qualities and character traits, the second indicates negative ones. A certain amount of time is allocated to work with each weakness (3 days, a week, a month, six months). After the deadline, the results are summed up and the lists are rewritten.

Lists of expectations - your own and those around you

One list contains your own goals and objectives, the other lists what others expect from you. Points are compared, intersections remain, and parallels are discarded or paused depending on your own desires.

For example:

• your parents want you to get a higher education;
• the young man sees you as a housewife and mother of his children;
• A friend persuades me to open my own recording studio.

You yourself plan to become the owner of a studio - this point is left. You also don’t throw away the opportunity to graduate from university, but in the future, you put it on pause. But you definitely don’t want to be a housewife - cross it out.

What is the essence of technology? It will help you clearly set semantic priorities not only for yourself, but also for those around you. You can tell them your plans and move towards your goal.

Introspection

Every day before going to bed, it is recommended to mentally or in writing analyze how the day went, what significant happened, and the degree of your participation in what happened. Try to understand why you acted one way and not another in a given situation, what can be corrected, what mistakes should be avoided in the future.

Goal setting

Think about what goal you are striving for and what you have to achieve it. Do your aspirations match your capabilities? Do you want to become a department head? Think about whether you can carry this burden on yourself, as your colleagues, family, and friends see it. If your expectations match, you have adequate self-esteem, achieve what you want. If you want it, but those around you don’t, talk to them (openly, without aggression) why, and start working on lowering your standards. If it’s the other way around, learn to look at yourself from the outside and think about yourself in a positive way.

All of the above techniques are independent work on self-esteem, which allows you to adequately look at yourself from the outside. However, in some cases, specialist help is necessary. Psychologists have their own correction methods.

Training

A psychologist can sign you up for various group trainings. They teach you to communicate, to look at yourself through the eyes of others, and to trust. For this purpose, tests, situational tasks, and role-playing games are used.

Three questions technique

Psychologists have an excellent technique that consists of just three questions: What am I? How am I different from the rest? How do I feel about myself? The answers may be discussed over a period of hours, days, or even weeks. The result of the course is the formation of an adequate attitude towards oneself and vision of oneself in the world around us.

Ego state according to Burn

A popular technique used to work with various psychological problems. The client evaluates the relationship between three images that live inside him: Parent, Adult and Child. With adequate self-esteem, they coexist peacefully; with overestimated self-esteem, a capricious and selfish Child rules; with underestimated self-esteem, a strict Parent rules everything. The task of the correction course is to make them equal.

Self-esteem is one of the fundamental concepts in psychology, on which many others are based. Some personality disorders, only indirectly related to physiology, originate from here. Therefore, you need to constantly monitor yourself so that, under the influence of some factors, you do not lower or raise this bar. After all, your success and self-sufficiency will depend on it.

Effective methods to increase self-esteem

The most important step on the path to self-improvement is to recognize that there is a problem. Often a person disguises it behind other feelings and deliberately avoids resolving the issue. As soon as awareness comes, you can safely move on to the following methods of increasing self-confidence:

1. Keep a diary of achievements. This step does not require any serious financial or time expenditure. It's simple: at the end of each day, take 10-15 minutes to write down your small and big victories that happened to you today. Maybe you read a book or finally got up an hour earlier than usual? You can always find a reason to praise. This will help you develop a positive mindset every day and focus your vision on personal success. It is important to re-read your notes daily.
2. Change your environment. Evaluate those with whom you communicate most often. If there are negative people in your circle, refuse to interact with them. More often you are in the company of positive and successful people who are confident and have a positive attitude towards you.
3. Play sports. The best way to distract yourself and clear your thoughts of negativity is physical exercise. In addition, if low self-esteem is associated with external data, sports will help you get in shape. By the way, during sports, our body produces the hormone of happiness - dopamine.
4. Give up self-criticism and soul-searching. You won’t be able to increase your self-esteem if you constantly scold yourself for something or constantly express dissatisfaction with your appearance and abilities. Praise yourself more often and think positive thoughts.
5. Avoid comparisons. Each of you is a unique person with your own individual set of qualities, strengths and weaknesses. Remember that there will always be those who have achieved greater results than you. In this case, it is worth taking an example from them, and not engaging in self-flagellation. Better yet, compare yourself today with yourself yesterday, and track your growth by recording your achievements in the diary we talked about above.
6. Listen and say affirmations. Affirmation is a positive judgment that creates the right psychological attitude. These are our statements and beliefs, thoughts, feelings and desires that we want to have right now. It is important to formulate affirmations in the present tense. For example: “I have a prestigious and highly paid job”, “I am beautiful and healthy”, “I am a happy person”.
7. Get out of your comfort zone. Yes, many people have heard about this method, but not everyone decides to do it, because it’s so comfortable and safe to be in your “shell.” Face your problem. Do you feel insecure when you are in a new company? Visit crowded places and events more often and be the first to start a conversation. Our online program “Best Communication Techniques” will be an excellent assistant for you, where you will learn how to interact more effectively with people thanks to interesting communication techniques. You just have to take a step and you will understand that everything is not as scary as it seemed at first glance.
8. Attend trainings. There are many different training activities aimed at increasing self-esteem and gaining self-confidence, so all you have to do is choose the one that’s right for you. If you are not yet ready to take the training, watch a movie or read a book on a current topic.
9. Forgive yourself. Uncertainty is often a consequence of feeling guilty about oneself. None of us are immune from mistakes, and it is important to be able to forgive ourselves for them. Write yourself a note and tell in it about your feelings, emotions, thoughts, problems, failures, and be sure to forgive yourself in writing for everything for which you feel guilty.
10. Meditate. Meditation helps you completely relax physically and let go of your thoughts. There are many different techniques aimed at getting rid of self-resentment and achieving peace.

Self-confidence is not an innate quality, but rather formed in the process of life. Your main task on the path to healthy self-esteem is to love yourself, learn to believe in your own strength, which is only possible through daily work on yourself and your thoughts.

Do what you love, do not deny yourself small and big joys, always think about the good and then everything will work out!

Good luck!

We also recommend reading:

• Storytelling
• Egocentrism
• How to increase self-esteem: practice from the field of NLP
• Formation of self-awareness
• Formation of correct self-esteem
• The Complete Guide to Self-Confidence
• Psychological picture
• Self-criticism
• Conditions for character formation
• Overcoming impostor syndrome
• Three masks of pathological narcissism

Key words: 1 Communication, 1 Psychoregulation

Recommended books

1. Asper K. Psychology of the narcissistic personality. Inner child and self-esteem.
2. Brian Tracy. Self-esteem.
3. Branden N. Six pillars of self-esteem.
4. Gyuru E. Self-esteem in children and adolescents. A book for parents.
5. Kovalevsky V. Optimal model of thinking and the logic of objective self-esteem.
6. Koryagin A., Barieva N., Koshlakova Yu., Borovkova D. Self-esteem and confident behavior.
7. Litvak B. 7 steps to stable self-esteem.
8. Lorenz T., Oppitz S. Self-esteem. Boost your confidence!
9. McGee P. Self-esteem.
10. Nikulina I. Development of self-esteem in schoolchildren with visual impairment.
11. Novichenkova E. Yu. Crises of childhood. Building healthy self-esteem.
12. Poletti R., Dobbs B. Self-esteem. The main benefit.
13. Trebunskaya O. The Matrix of Life. Self-esteem and satisfaction.
14. Udilova I. Self-esteem as a woman. Become a confident woman.

The works of millionaire speaker Brian Tracy are extremely popular. He is Canadian and motivates people to develop themselves. His audiobook “Self-Esteem” can be downloaded online in the public domain.

Mikhail Labkovsky, a family and individual psychologist, is also popular. He adheres to the point of view that an overestimated assessment allows you to achieve maximum heights in life, while a low assessment pulls you to the bottom and drowns there. Reading his essays and lectures online on these topics is very interesting.

How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence?

Modern society is concerned with how to increase self-esteem and self-confidence. Read more about how to deal with low self-esteem by following the link.