In the modern world of open and free communication with different people, meeting an unpleasant person is easier than ever. At the same time, there is always a risk that we will have to interact with such people for a long time. For example, it could be a neighbor, a colleague at work, or even a person from a close circle. We cannot simply isolate ourselves from an annoying person, but communicating with him only brings suffering. How to be? Is it possible to find a way to solve this problem? There are several options for wise behavior with such people.
Put yourself in their place
As soon as we see an unpleasant person on the horizon, we immediately trigger a defensive reaction. We build emotional barriers, prepare for an attack, or even try to leave as quickly as possible.
But there is another way to react. It makes sense to try to put yourself in this person’s shoes. Everything we don’t like about him has certain roots and reasons. But to understand them, you need to give them the opportunity to open up freely. You just need to be patient, listen, and then use the information you receive to put yourself in that person’s shoes.
No deep psychoanalytic skills will be required. At the first stage, it is enough simply not to react with the usual impulses of negativity and rejection to this person. You need to change the negative vector of behavior to a positive one and see what comes of it.
How to Deal with Negative People to Protect Yourself from Their Influence
Communication with negative people devastates us, reduces our immunity, causes anxiety, loss of strength, and affects the occurrence of problems and diseases. Everyone can protect themselves from negative influences if they follow certain rules.
Negative energy is very dangerous - after communicating with its source, we become infected with it and pass it on to others. Negative energy cannot be seen, it can only be felt. At the same time, everyone’s level of sensitivity to negative influence is different, which is also important to take into account.
Thus, people with increased sensitivity intuitively avoid such communication, but even this group of people, willy-nilly, can become infected with negativity. That is why you need to constantly “keep your eyes open” and identify energetically dangerous people, as well as strengthen your own biofield. The tips collected by the editors of the site dailyhoro.ru will help you learn how to communicate with negative people in order to protect yourself from their influence.
Classification of negative people
Energy-dangerous people can be divided into three categories.
- Aggressive people. Aggressors show hatred not only openly, but also secretly, using all kinds of manipulations. Such individuals try to deliberately destroy life, subordinate it to their will, force them to live by their own rules.
- Negative people. They carry a negative attitude, infecting others with it. They constantly complain about life, talk only about themselves and load them with their problems. When communicating with such people, you can lose faith in the best, interest in life, purposefulness and determination.
- Energy vampires. People who feed on both positive and negative energy. Usually they hurt a person, provoking emotional outbursts in him. Communication with them can cause failures, financial difficulties, family discord and other problems that arise literally due to nonsense.
How to Deal with Negative People
Not all people can be affected by negativity, but knowing how to reflect and protect yourself from negative influences is important for maintaining peace of mind and success in business. Resistance to the influence of dangerous people can be developed if you follow a number of rules.
- When meeting a person whose behavior seems scandalous or aggressive, you should keep your distance. You should not respond to his verbal attacks or insults, otherwise you may find yourself in an unpleasant situation, become a victim of ridicule or humiliation.
- It is important to learn how to get out of conflict situations, and not aggravate them. A positive attitude creates the perfect barrier against negativity. People with a predominance of negativity bypass those who are happy and confident, which means they will not be able to cause irreparable harm.
- Do not respond to provocations, do not be influenced, remain calm. In any conflict situation, it is important not to inflame the conflict with the aggressor and conduct the conversation in a normal tone. In this way, it will be possible to repel the attack of negativity, because such a person is waiting for a reaction to his boorish behavior, in the absence of which he calms down and begins to look for a new victim.
- Don't make excuses for a person's inappropriate behavior. Do not agree with him and never say phrases like: “I understand you very well.” This is dangerous, because in this way a person is trying to find your pain points. Moreover, with the help of this phrase you transfer other people’s problems and negativity onto yourself.
- Delicately, but sharply point out to the person his real place in the world, explaining to him that negativity comes from his actions and words.
- Don't share your plans and dreams with people you don't know, especially if they show an unhealthy interest in your life. Keep information about your work, salary, personal life, and successes secret. There are close and trusted people to discuss such topics.
- The easiest way to reflect is to cross your arms or legs during a conversation with the person from whom the negativity comes. In this way, you close the contour of your biofield, preventing any leakage in it.
- Esotericists also recommend using protective amulets and amulets against the evil eye, damage and any other dangerous influence.
- There is a theory that those people who themselves experience negative emotions, such as anger, jealousy, and hatred, are more susceptible to the influence of negative energies. Therefore, before protecting yourself from negative communication, you need to work on yourself and your feelings.
The main goal of a person who wants to protect himself from negative influences from people is to weaken the power of this energy as much as possible. It is necessary to ignore or mirror the negative vibrations of others. This is especially true for various kinds of curses and insults. It is useful to regularly cleanse your energy, recharge yourself with positivity, read prayers or wear talismanic jewelry. All this will help protect yourself when communicating with negative people. If the negative has made a hole in the biofield, it must be removed and the energy completely restored. be happy
Don't think badly of them
Labeling people around you is a rather dubious and not always useful practice. Having once designated a certain person in our head as bad, in the future we ourselves become hostages of this identification. Our behavior automatically adapts to the label, even if in other situations this “bad” person commits completely harmless and even good deeds. All people are different. The main thing is that we can notice manifestations of the dark and light sides of our interlocutors.
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Not thinking negatively about unpleasant people does not mean that you need to stop noticing their negative sides. It just means that you should look for good traits in them, and every person has them.
I want revenge - is this normal?
If someone has offended us, we consider ourselves entitled to respond in kind. And our conscience will not torment us, because we suffered, now we have the right to do the same.
But somehow it seems that this path has not led anywhere yet. It is clear and one hundred percent that the method of revenge “returning evil for evil” has not made the world a better place . It's obvious, you can't argue with it. The world is rather going in the completely opposite direction, rather than on the path of morality, love and goodness.
After all, the fact is that a person not only believes that “I want revenge” is a normal desire, and responding with evil to manifestations of evil towards him is also normal, but he believes that this is a benefit for another. That by doing so we correct the one we punish. We hold a grudge, we swear, we hurt and think that by doing so we are teaching him and next time he won’t do it.
Is it possible to make a person better this way?
Think this way about yourself. How much better are you when you receive evil from someone else? And does it matter that you were avenged for your evil, the main thing is that it came to you. You will get nothing but new resentment, new pain. Where does goodness come from here, where should it appear here, at what time? He has no place in this chain.
Yes, we can intimidate a person with our power, our revenge, our threats, insults, and violence. Yes it is. He'll be scared for a while. And that will hold him back. But it won't make it better.
But the problem is that we are not interested in whether it will become better. We do not set ourselves such a goal. The main thing for us is to get internal satisfaction, and not necessarily internal satisfaction.
Why are we not satisfied with life?
We must get our benefit, be it material or moral. Thus, we continue the chain of evil and hatred of people towards each other. And we are creating a far from rosy future. (By the way, I can describe your future to you)
But we still believe that we know how to defeat evil. We believe, we are sure, that revenge and punishment are good. This is not good for anyone. Do you have the right to repay for the evil that was done to you? After all, by doing so you are doing the same thing.
See it as a mirror
When communicating with unpleasant people, there is always a risk of becoming an unpleasant person too. This happens when we react to stimuli with the same negativity, which intensifies over time and becomes a habit.
We can perceive an unpleasant person as a mirror that shows what we can become by following his own path.
Negative energy gradually eats up a person, worsens his health and makes him more and more unhappy. Therefore, you should not accumulate it. It's better to think about the good things that are happening in your life. Moments of joy and happiness matter much more than the bad things around you.
What do our children see?
But from a very early age, we instill in our children exactly the opposite. First of all, by your behavior, by your example. We punish them for any wrongdoing.
They are accustomed to the fact that this is how it should be, that with the help of punishment you can influence a person, influence him. They think it's right. We will not be able to break the chain of revenge, punishment and evil.
Try to respond to your child’s action, which caused you maximum irritation, with maximum love.
Hug, kiss, hold you close, despite the fact that he covered half the carpet with plasticine, that he wrote on the wallpaper with a pen, that he broke the dishes, and spilled sugar. Hug tightly with all your soul and heart. And quietly tell him to try not to do this again, that it’s very difficult for you to clean it all up.
What the child did is not as scary as the fact that you punish him for it.
A person who commits evil or offends another wants to see the pain and suffering of his victim, he gets pleasure from this, this feeds those devilish feelings that control him.
Is life possible without suffering?
Therefore, the best thing you can do to defeat evil is to forgive and respond with love and kindness towards it. The power of forgiveness neutralizes it. This will confuse him.
He won't get the pleasure he expected. If this happens constantly, then the evil intentions within this person will begin to fade away without receiving the necessary nourishment.
Good conquers all evil. Always.
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The decision to end the relationship
There is no point in contacts with people who do not give us anything good. This is not always possible due to certain circumstances and factors. If it is possible to break off the relationship completely, then it is worth doing. There are situations where it is better to leave certain people in the past.
This rule applies to toxic characters who regularly plunge us into negative thoughts and lead us to depression. They don’t provide anything valuable or useful, but they draw energy from us.
But there is another model of hopeless relationships in which we can show compassion for the person who annoys us. This is the boundary that cannot be crossed. Sympathy and pity alone are not enough to maintain relationships with people. Both for him and for you, the best solution would be to break up, since there are no valid reasons for maintaining this connection.
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Why can't we overcome the evil that pervades our world?
How to put out a fire? Water. But for some reason we fight fire with fire and want it to go out.
How is that?
By responding with evil, we only make each other worse, corrupting ourselves.
We are deceived when we say that we took revenge on someone so that he would understand something and become a better person. This is just an excuse. This was done simply for his own satisfaction.
Seek help
Dealing with a toxic relative is a psychologically challenging and emotionally draining experience.
Therefore, you need to gain strong support from outside. Share your problems with loved ones, trusted friends or family. Read books about dealing with abusive family members to hear other people's stories. This way you will get more information and find new strategies.
You may be able to find a support group. For example, there are organizations that help those who suffer from alcoholism in their relatives.
You may want to seek professional help from a psychologist to work through toxic relationships and their consequences.
Miser
Greed is one of the worst traits a person can have; a miser - no matter how much he has - he will always find a reason not to share what he has with others.
We are not just talking about material and economic issues here; all you need is a lack of willingness to help others.
Greed is not always selfish, although we often associate such negative people with this patch. However, they are very often people who are very happy to lend a hand for something that is not properly theirs, but when they can help in some way, they suddenly disappear into thin air.
Also those “friends” who are never there for you when you need them. Trust me - you don't need to worry about them.
Pessimist
Pessimism is a state of mind in which absolutely every situation is seen in the darkest colors, and only the worst solution is expected.
Pessimists are negative people who should also be avoided because they can easily drag you into their land of black thoughts. As soon as you notice that someone is influencing you in this way, run away! Don't give up your positive energy.
To make matters worse, pessimists are such negative people who very often create difficult and scary situations in which they are unable to meet and attract other people.
Even if we offer them a thousand ideal solutions, the pessimist will still look for the negative sides of the idea. Don't waste your energy on such fights.
Manipulator
Another negative person who definitely needs to be kept at a distance are manipulators. They are not always easy to identify because they are smart and cunning; they use a range of techniques and methods to always get what they want.
With determination, they also avoid any confrontation that might reveal their evil intentions. They are usually hiding somewhere in the background, trying to manipulate your emotions, make you feel guilty, or blame you for the situation.
The more sensitive and empathic you are, the easier it is for them to target you because they see you as weaker and more vulnerable to manipulation.
Negative people of this type also do not want you to achieve your goals because they care about your own affairs. Run away from them as soon as you recognize them because their influence can be destructive to you.
How can you tell if someone is causing harm?
Here are some examples of behavior of a problematic family member:
- Constantly inserts offensive comments.
- Doesn't support you if it's not beneficial for him.
- He has an unpredictable, complex character.
- Uses your time, skills or money.
- Emotionally manipulates you to control your behavior.
- Refuses to take responsibility for his actions.
- Makes decisions for you.
- Shows a lack of empathy towards others.
- Blames you and everyone else for his problems.
- Uses violence or aggression to get what they want.
It is clear that this behavior creates an unhealthy environment and can have a negative impact on your health and well-being. For example, it might call:
- anxiety;
- depression;
- fear when being near this relative;
- shame or guilt;
- low self-esteem or self-doubt;
- difficulty forming emotional intimacy with other people;
- inability to trust your gut or intuition;
- distancing from others;
- aggression as a form of defense;
- sleep problems.
No one is able to control someone else's behavior. It is impossible to force another person to change their actions. The only thing we can control when we are in a toxic relationship with our family is our own reaction. It's up to you to take care of yourself.
Liar
Lying or innuendo happens to everyone, but if someone you care about constantly deceives you, it means you don't respect your personality and your emotions. This is another type of negative person that should be avoided by avoiding unnecessary problems and troubles.
It's worth noting that some of these people don't even realize that they are being fed lies every day. Don't feel guilty about wanting to cut them out of your life. Do this for yourself and your own comfort and safety.