HealthFeelings and prejudices: Why we cry and it's normal

Women's tears are one of the weapons that the weaker sex resorts to when there is no way to influence strong partners. Tears can be shed by women, they are forbidden by men - that’s what society says. Tears are a person’s weakness in a situation in which he is crying. If a man cries, then it is allowed to do so because of the death of a loved one. Why does a woman cry next to a man?

All women are different. But there comes a time when they cry. Depending on her upbringing and the goals of her behavior, a woman may cry for one reason or another:

  1. There are women who cry at every opportunity. They get specks in their eyes and they start crying. Such ladies definitely irritate men.
  2. There are women who use tears as manipulation. If they fail to achieve something from men, they begin to cry and become weak. If a man detects manipulation, he doesn't like it. Otherwise, he succumbs to provocations.
  3. There are women who cry when they are really bad and in pain. Their tears are rare, but sincere. It is in front of them that men fall to their knees to ask for forgiveness and love.

Women's tears are a controversial instrument. Depending on the intentions with which a woman uses them, she gets one or another result.

Why don't men like women's tears?

Many women know that men cannot stand women's tears. Articles are written about this, they are talked about on TV shows, and wise mothers advise. Dear readers of the women's magazine prettysecrets.ru, there is no need to cry for any reason and do not use tears as manipulation and influence on a man. Why? Because typical reactions of men in this situation are:

  1. Stopper. The man simply doesn't know what to do.
  2. Escape. The man turns around and leaves so as not to feel guilty.
  3. Sympathy. This behavior is rare on the part of a man. He doesn't want the woman to cry, so he starts to calm her down.

If you don’t want to push a man away from you, then it’s better not to cry for any reason. Moreover, see how a man reacts to your tears. If it’s easier for him to leave and talk to you when you calm down, then you definitely won’t help yourself with tears, and you’ll only piss the man off.

Why don't men like women's tears? Because in a situation of suffering of the weaker sex, a man understands that he caused pain. A man should be strong and protect the weak, but it turned out the opposite. If he sees a woman crying, he feels worthless. A man feels guilty and reckless if he sees a woman suffering because of his actions or decisions.

A problem can arise if a man has not actually done anything bad to a woman or he considers his actions to be correct. In such a situation, he will consider women's tears to be manipulation, which, in principle, will be the correct conclusion. Moreover, it is necessary to distinguish real men from males - they all belong to the stronger sex, but differ in their attitude towards women:

  • Real men respect, love and value women. They stand on an equal footing with them and build serious relationships. There is no obvious intent to cause pain in their thoughts.
  • Males usually think only about themselves, consider themselves the smartest and most necessary, compared to women. They treat women as an obligatory attribute of entertainment, sex, and life. They don't like women, they don't respect them, some are even afraid of them.

It follows that only real men will feel guilty and empathize with women who cry because of them. Males are more likely to feel superior when they see female tears. They will rejoice that they were able to win, defeat women. And their steadfastness in the face of women’s tears suggests that they themselves know what tears are.

If we turn to wise sayings, then one of them says that no person is worthy of other people's tears. Believe me, a man who is confident, strong and wise will never need to be cried for.

Never cry for a man you don't know. Usually men who have known women for only a few days, when they see women’s tears, immediately begin to think that these ladies are hysterical or sick. They don’t want to get involved with women who cry within the first month of dating.

It is better not to use tears as a manipulation at all. If you are hurt, cry. But if you cry to force a man to do something, then you will not be able to justify yourself to him.

How to stop crying over a guy

I want to contact you:

no man deserves our tears.

if you don’t like his behavior and he doesn’t want to change for your sake, you’re tired of your competitors, tired of constantly reminding him of your existence (calling him, writing SMS.). BARELY LEAVE HIM AND LOOK FOR SOMEONE ELSE, and regarding the number of partners, know that this is all life experience. and he is needed too!

Of course, it’s stupid to sit still and expect something from him. BELIEVE me, if you don’t interest him, that’s it! FIASCO!

I was convinced of this from personal experience.

they DO NOT like open women, as soon as they figure us out, the interest disappears. Initially, I thought that the goal of all guys is to get a girl, and this is partly true, but for them to achieve means to tame.

Quite recently, my good friend (also a man, by the way) told me “IF YOU WANT TO WIN A MAN, NEVER TELL HIM THAT YOU WANT HIM, DO SO THAT THEY WANT YOU.”

Of course I asked why? don't you love it when a girl wants you? he said, no, in this situation we feel that we are being hunted (and on a conscious level). and here we all fall into a stupor. and I already want to run away.

Wish you happiness.

PS if you write anything, we will discuss your problems.

This is right to the point. This man said it right. only when we girls finally begin to understand this. -))))

I want to contact you:

no man deserves our tears.

if you don’t like his behavior and he doesn’t want to change for your sake, you’re tired of your competitors, tired of constantly reminding him of your existence (calling him, writing SMS.). BARELY LEAVE HIM AND LOOK FOR SOMEONE ELSE, and regarding the number of partners, know that this is all life experience. and he is needed too!

Of course, it’s stupid to sit still and expect something from him. BELIEVE me, if you don’t interest him, that’s it! FIASCO!

I was convinced of this from personal experience.

they DO NOT like open women, as soon as they figure us out, the interest disappears. Initially, I thought that the goal of all guys is to get a girl, and this is partly true, but for them to achieve means to tame.

Quite recently, my good friend (also a man, by the way) told me “IF YOU WANT TO WIN A MAN, NEVER TELL HIM THAT YOU WANT HIM, DO SO THAT THEY WANT YOU.”

Of course I asked why? don't you love it when a girl wants you? he said, no, in this situation we feel that we are being hunted (and on a conscious level). and here we all fall into a stupor. and I already want to run away.

Wish you happiness.

PS if you write anything, we will discuss your problems.

You simply stopped understanding each other. Don’t judge him. You are both right. You now have different goals and objectives, perhaps different paths. Let each other go their own way.

This is right to the point. This man said it right. only when we girls finally begin to understand this. -))))

Quite recently, my good friend (also a man, by the way) told me “IF YOU WANT TO WIN A MAN, NEVER TELL HIM THAT YOU WANT HIM, DO SO THAT THEY WANT YOU.”

She came here.. she raised such a high on men.. and even so affirmatively.

She is offended and hot, you can’t just cut her off like that!!

I admit, I thought the same thing when I was about 16-18, if a boy gave up everything, life was over. Then, as I grew older, I realized that they are just like us... ALIVE.

Now I will redo this post, and I am sure that each of you will support me somewhere

if you don’t like her behavior and she doesn’t want to change for your sake, you’re tired of competitors, tired of constantly reminding her of your existence (calling her, writing SMS.). BARELY LEAVE HER AND LOOK FOR ANOTHER, and regarding the number of partners, know that this is all life experience. and he is needed too!

Of course, it’s stupid to sit still and expect something from her. BELIEVE, if you don't interest her, that's it! FIASCO! (not in the eyebrow, but in the eye)

I was convinced of this from personal experience.

they DO NOT like open men, as soon as they figure us out, the interest disappears. Initially, I thought that the goal of all girls is to achieve a man, and this is partly true, but for them to achieve means to tame.

Just recently, my friend told me “IF YOU WANT TO WIN A WOMAN, NEVER TELL HER THAT YOU WANT HER, MAKE SHE WANT YOU.”

Of course I asked why? don't you like it when a man wants you? she said, no, in this situation we feel that we are being hunted (and on a subconscious level). and here we all fall into a stupor. and I already want to run away.

Why is the woman crying?

A woman suffers because she allows suffering to happen. When a person does not want to suffer, he refuses everything that brings him suffering. But a woman, unlike a man, more often allows herself to go through suffering, instead of simply ridding herself of the possibility of it happening.

If you see that your apartment is dirty, what do you do? You are cleaning up. That is, you rid yourself of what causes you discomfort, suffering, grief. Why, then, do you not deal with the men who bring you suffering? If a man doesn't make you happy now, then why should he suddenly want to make you happy in the future?

A woman suffers because she allows suffering to happen. There are women who, for example, do not want to suffer from infidelity. Therefore, they look out in advance for men who do not show signs of a womanizer or womanizer, or immediately break off relations with those who cheated on them. They do not want to suffer because of men who cannot be faithful, so they refuse them without regret. But if a woman forgives a cheater or sees a man flirting with other ladies but not breaking up with them, then she is voluntarily allowing suffering to enter her life.

You can blame men for being so bad and making women unhappy. But women are also to blame for allowing such men to be near them. A woman suffers because she allows suffering to happen. If she did not want to suffer, she would immediately protect herself from those gentlemen who cause her suffering.

Dear women, understand for yourself that next to you is exactly the man whom you allowed to be next to you. And if you suffer because of him, then it is your own fault for not breaking off relations with him. Other women, who are more confident and want only happiness for themselves, part with those who cause them pain and do not want to live in peace and harmony without regret. Why do you allow suffering to be present in your life?

Psychologist's advice for girls

Much about what to do after a breakup, according to psychologists, has been said in the previous paragraph - these are effective ways to survive a difficult period and come out of it as a healthy, whole person, ready to continue living. But there are some more tips on how to stop suffering if a guy falls out of love.

  • Get rid of reminders of the past. Throw away or put away things that remind you of your boyfriend. If he left some of his things, get rid of them first.
  • If you’re angry, print out and burn your photos together. Do something demonstrative that will help you believe in the separation yourself. If you want to cry over the burning photos, don’t hold back. It will turn out even better this way.
  • Do, eat, wear what irritated your partner and you liked. Treat yourself to a triumph of freedom.
  • Update something. Haircut, wardrobe, bed linen or even place of residence. Help yourself experience the before and after milestones.
  • Take care of your appearance. Do it with pleasure - enjoy a beautiful manicure, spa, spectacular outfits and bright makeup. Just because you don't have to do it for someone else, you and your pleasure are reason enough. Don't let yourself go after a breakup.
  • Communicate. With friends, on the Internet, on forums, in interest groups or even in therapeutic groups. You don’t have to suffer in splendid isolation—with company and support, everything will be easier.
  • Burn your bridges. Not only get rid of common things, but also delete the phone number and do not go to his profile on social networks. Leave the past in the past and feel it.
  • Humble yourself. Even if it seems to you that you broke up by mistake, that the reason is not so serious, come to terms with the person’s decision, respect him. Firmly accepting his position will help you hold on if your ex decides to return and tries to drag you into the funnel of the same relationship with the same problems.
  • Be reborn. Feel sorry for yourself at first when you need care. But don't forget that you were not born to be unhappy. Stay away from the victim position, believe in yourself and give yourself permission to act in your own interests.
  • Do good deeds. Help your friends and parents, do something good for passers-by on the street. Volunteer at an event, help an animal shelter, take part in an action that protects someone's rights. When we do good, we experience joy.
  • Play sports. After a breakup, our brain produces a lot of cortisol, a stress hormone that makes us feel tired and lethargic. Sports will help lower cortisol levels and release adrenaline and endorphins into the blood. They are responsible for energy and good mood.

You have a unique opportunity to chat with a professional psychologist for free for 20 minutes. Just go to the website psy-chat.ru and leave a request to select a psychologist. A specialist will write to you in 2 minutes in the specified messenger.

You don't have to suffer

They say: “The world is full of suffering - problems, illness, old age, death, earning money, etc.” The question arises: why should problems, illness, old age, death, earning money, etc. bring suffering? The idea that something must cause suffering preprograms people to expect that when they are faced with difficult situations, they must suffer. No one can cancel illness, betrayal and the need to earn money. But why should a person suffer from this? This is a program that is implanted in people's heads. They internalize this program, which is why they then go through life suffering.

What would happen if you were not told why you should suffer? Half of your misfortunes would simply disappear. Difficult situations would happen, but you would not suffer because you were not programmed to suffer because of them. You don't have to suffer because you were fired. You don't have to suffer because you are terminally ill. You don’t have to suffer because your loved one leaves. An amazing thought, isn't it? But people suffer not because it is their natural reaction, but because they have been taught this since childhood.

First they tell you that something causes suffering in people, and then they teach you to accept problems. Why not initially teach that problems are the norm of life, you need to solve them, and not suffer because of them? There is not a single person who has never been sick, faced difficulties, or been deceived or betrayed by other people. Moreover, there is not a single person who will not die sooner or later. So, why suffer because of what is natural in human life?

Surprisingly, people sometimes suffer because of such little things that seem funny in the eyes of others. Girls can suffer because they are a couple of kilograms heavier than supermodels. Guys may suffer because they have to work and earn pennies. Someone may suffer because they are not famous. And there are people who suffer because they are not loved by everyone with whom they have ever communicated. Such petty situations, and people suffer because of them as if the world had really collapsed and time had stopped.

You don't have to suffer. Moreover, it is stupid and pointless to suffer over little things. After all, there are much more serious problems happening in the world. And even they don’t have to cause you suffering. It is better to deal with them and solve them than to waste time on emotions that only harm you, and the situation does not disappear from this.

Tears: benefits and harms

Human psychology is designed in such a way that expressing one’s feelings in the form of tears is normal and is also considered useful. When a person holds back all his emotions, he experiences emotional overload.

Positive aspects of crying:

  • While watching a movie. How to stop crying during a dramatic movie plot and why is it even necessary? But that’s exactly what these films are made for.
  • During a hard day at work. The person turns out to be severely exhausted, both morally and physically. When you return home, you can shed a few tears. Show yourself love and care, don’t be shy to cry.
  • It is very difficult for a girl not to cry during a breakup with a guy. You can hold back your tears, but is it worth it? Because of a guy, you can and should scream into your pillow and throw out the accumulated emotions, this way you will quickly move away from your worries and broken feelings.
  • During happy moments in life. You might as well shed a few tears of joy. This is a common and normal manifestation of human feelings and emotions.
  • Manifestation of laughter to such an extent that a person simultaneously begins to cry. When it happens because of funny moments, then everything is fine.

Thus, people experience liberation and normalization of their emotional state, such as the manifestation of joy at certain moments. If a person cannot control the process, and there is a frequent manifestation of such emotions, then most likely he has psychological problems. When tears flow and there is no reason for this, this condition can cause harm to health.

It's easier to cry than to change

It is easier for people to suffer than to change. Change is an effort on oneself, inconvenience, pain, the unknown. It’s like finding yourself in a dense forest, where you need to trodden a new path, safe and familiar. And in suffering, yes, a person feels bad and unpleasant, but he already knows everything, is familiar, he has somehow gotten used to it and got used to it.

This is why people prefer to change other people and the world as a whole rather than themselves. After all, I want to live beautifully and happily. However, how can you live differently if you yourself do not change? The world will definitely not change, will not adapt to you, since it exists according to its own laws. He can change for you only when you begin to look at him differently, that is, change yourself, change the style of your gaze. For example, the world looks different in the eyes of an optimist and a pessimist, although for all people it is the same.

The people around you will be indignant, why should they change for you? In the same way, they can ask to change for them. Other people decide for themselves what they should be, how to live and what to do, just as you do. Here again you need to change yourself to make life easier: do not demand something from others, but give yourself what you need, develop the desired qualities in yourself, surround yourself with those things and people that will make your life beautiful and interesting .

In other words, if you want to live better than now, change your worldview, thinking, algorithm of actions, behavior, develop useful and necessary qualities in yourself, transform yourself, make your appearance beautiful, in the end. Do everything possible so that the world around you finally becomes the way you want it to be. And here it’s up to you to choose: suffer or change? After all, it is easier to suffer than to change, but for a strong person this is only a bonus.

Bottom line

Women's tears have different purposes. It depends only on the woman how her man will react if she uses her tears in time. All men react differently, this should also be taken into account. However, a man's indifference becomes obvious if you really cry from pain, and he does not understand this.

If you defeated a man with the help of tears, then do not say it out loud. Next time the man will remember that you pressed for pity, and will no longer succumb.

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