How to change your outlook on life: advice, books and films ⇒ Blog of Yaroslav Samoilov

For a person with high stress tolerance, an unpleasant situation is just a good opportunity to learn something new. However, each of us is far from being an optimist. The good news is that the human brain can be reprogrammed, which makes it easier to cope with failures and difficulties. In our article we will give some tips on how to change your outlook on life.
From this article you will learn:

What does outlook on life mean?
Why change your outlook on life
What are the reasons for a negative attitude towards life?
How to change your outlook on life
What books will help with this?
What films are worth watching to reconsider your attitude towards life?

What does outlook on life mean?

How do people differ from each other? First of all, by attitude to life, and there can be no exceptions here. Think for yourself: a young girl, an adult man and a first-grader boy will react to each situation in their own way, classifying it as positive or negative.

One person feels happy, while another, being in exactly the same situation, may suffer and complain endlessly, not knowing how to change everything. Surely you are familiar with the classification: pessimist, realist and optimist.

Pessimists tend to view life through the prism of disappointment. Therefore, any event becomes a reason for doubt, often even sadness and melancholy.

There is an opinion among psychologists that people develop the habit of reacting in a certain way to life events. That is, an emotional state is not a momentary impulse, a coincidence or an inexplicable reaction, it is just a habit. And if we are talking about a habit, the question is always relevant: how to change your outlook on life?

Let's look at a simple example. The pessimist won the lottery and begins to regret, because he will have to pay tax, and the amount is not that big, so it is definitely not enough to make his dream come true.

The reaction of optimists is more positive, they find positive things in any situation, and are less inclined to get upset and give in to despondency.

This model of behavior is more advantageous, because many people strive to learn a positive outlook, but how to change their outlook on life?

The existence of the next category of people, realists, is still in question. Experts continue to debate whether there really are people who can always objectively assess a situation and respond to it based on the real state of affairs. There is an opinion among some psychologists that the presence of realists in society is only an illusion.

Often, the outlook on life depends on the views accepted in the environment around us. If we are talking about a self-sufficient, successful person, then she grasps only some concepts, building her own system of values with their help. Overly impressionable people can change their lives by blindly appropriating the views of a certain group of people.

Build an ideal society: living the Confucian way

Another interesting version of the meaning of life that we inherited from Eastern philosophy is the desire to build a perfect society in which harmony will be achieved between man and Heaven.

The ancient Chinese philosopher Confucius teaches that an ideal society can only be built if each person fulfills his duties well and follows his destiny

He viewed each person as a cog in a large mechanism, for the smooth operation of which it was important that everyone diligently fulfill their duties. Only by working together, fulfilling their assigned roles and treating each other with respect can people live in a better society. That is why Confucius declared self-improvement and the best performance of the work that is given to you as the meaning of life. Every person, no matter who he is, is capable of learning and improving what he does, whether it be cleaning and cooking or running a country.

Why change your outlook on life

Before you think about how to change your outlook on life, you need to understand why it is needed. Emotionally stable people know how to adapt to current circumstances, paying maximum attention to hidden possibilities. Let's say you take a new job for financial reasons and find out that it will require much more effort, time and energy from you than you expected. In addition, you will have to change your habits and work overtime. Leaving your comfort zone is never easy, and as a result, dissatisfaction begins to accumulate. However, after some time, you may well find that the new area is more interesting and attracts you more than the previous one.

If you were lucky and the situation turned out to be the most consistent with your expectations, did you enjoy it? It often happens that a person is too busy for this - he is waiting for the next specific result. When you expect one thing and get a different result, disappointment usually sets in.

Agree, quite often things don’t turn out exactly the way we would like. You have two possible ways: come to terms with what happened or regret that you couldn’t achieve what you wanted. In both options, you refuse to live in the present and enjoy the moment you are living. In other words, it's time to change your outlook on life.

Mental fortitude allows you to maintain hope despite difficulties and do everything to change the situation. This kind of optimism is part of emotional intelligence.

Scientists note that pessimism negatively affects mental and, oddly enough, physical health, so it is important to change your outlook on life in time. Martin Seligman, a scientist from the University of Pennsylvania, suggested that a negative mood has a detrimental effect on health for a number of reasons:

you do not believe that you are able to influence the situation;
More bad things happen in your life because you react negatively to neutral situations and make wasted or incorrect efforts;
Pessimism inhibits the body's natural defenses, the immune system.

Pessimists drive themselves into a state of depression, because negative perceptions prevent them from assessing events from a positive perspective.

An optimist is not only someone who believes that the glass is half full. This is a person who uses stress to approach a situation from a completely new perspective. And if you focus on the opportunity to change everything, it can lead to the most unexpected consequences. No wonder popular wisdom says: every cloud has a silver lining. And science increasingly confirms this.

An important element of stress resistance is the ability to recover from negative emotions.

Due to the interhemispheric asymmetry of a person, the hemispheres participate differently in different processes (creativity, perception, speech), and this is directly related to emotions. Scientists have proven that among people with a more active left area of the frontal lobe, optimistic people are more likely to be found; they take actions and believe that their work will yield results. And people with a more active right frontal lobe show a tendency towards negative emotional behavior. They are anxious, prone to sadness, restlessness, passivity, and more often refuse active actions.

But who said that this is a sentence? You can always change your outlook on life. People with a dominant left frontal lobe are able to overcome negative emotions. This means that resistance to stress depends on the ability to suppress negativity, using fear for which the amygdala is responsible.

Richard Davidson from the University of Wisconsin is one of the first scientists to study interhemispheric asymmetry and its impact on a person’s emotional state. He suggested that those who have a positive emotional attitude and practice a positive attitude towards life, for example, through mindfulness meditation, are more resistant to stress.

Main areas of life

To change established views, you should decide on your positions and beliefs:

belief and spirituality;
social status, society;
self-development;
family, love;
material aspect, success;
society and communication;
Creative skills.

You can optionally add items to this list that you would like to make changes to. To achieve positive results, you need to work on your own views.

Reasons for a negative attitude towards life

When answering the question of how to change your outlook on life, you need to understand that basic knowledge is laid down in a person’s mind under the influence of the people around him since childhood. Usually, our parents or other people raising us have the most active influence on us.

If from an early age a child was surrounded only by negativity, this will directly affect his outlook on life - his attitude will be negative. And, on the contrary, when a child grows up in love and affection, he simply cannot become a pessimist.

In order not to make a fatal mistake when raising children, and then they will not have to change their outlook on life, find out in advance how to do it correctly:

True, it is worth understanding that life views do not always depend on parental attitudes. At school, a child finds himself in an environment of peers, which means they influence him as actively as his parents. Some children are bullied by their classmates, causing anger and a negative outlook on life.

You can change your outlook on life for the worse even as an adult. This is caused by problems at work, in the family, even banal crowding in public transport and other factors, but any problems can be dealt with

Positive changes

A person’s views on life are formed from childhood. Every child knows such words as must, must and must. The framework in which a person is accustomed to living often does not allow him to realize his abilities. As a result, claims to the surrounding world appear, and dissatisfaction with one’s own life develops. Changing your views is not so easy, but those who do it will become much happier and luckier in every sense.

The world is constantly changing, so a person must develop in order to move on, and not stand still. Many principled individuals experience discomfort because they have to constantly adapt to new living conditions.

How to change your outlook on life

Where to start changing your outlook on life? From yourself, from your own attitude to what is happening, as well as from your immediate environment.

Be prepared for the fact that working on yourself is a difficult process. But you need to start it wisely, so first of all, figure out what the reason for this attitude to life is.

Here is an algorithm that allows you to change your outlook on life:

Understand where the current negative attitude towards the world comes from.
Limit communication with those who provoke pessimistic thoughts. First of all, these are people who are permanently depressed.

As sad as it is to admit, a negative attitude towards life often originates from communication with parents. Think for yourself, if a mother and father often quarrel, fight with each other, take it out on the child, even beat him or simply blame the whole world for their troubles, what other attitude could the child have towards life?

An adult will have to make great efforts to change his outlook on life and understand that there are many joys around. Start by simply forcing yourself to believe that everything is not as terrible as your loved ones thought.

There are a lot of people who tend to blame others for everything, and this attitude can manifest itself in different ways. The first sign of a negative attitude towards any life situations is aggression in public places. It appears because a person is sure that those around him owe everything to him. This model of behavior is formed in the early years, when the mother and father give the child too serious and voluminous instructions.

If there is such a character among your friends, we advise you to limit communication with him, otherwise how else can you change your outlook on life?

Everything is clear with the limitation of communication, but what is hidden under the phrase “start with yourself”?

Let's explain with an example. You are traveling on public transport, and suddenly a stranger steps on your foot. Of course, this happened because of the crush, he didn’t want to offend you, so he will ask for forgiveness. Changing your attitude towards life is all about the little things. Now you cannot snap back, but must answer: “nonsense.” Due to this model of behavior, you reduce the share of conflicts and generally have a positive effect on your condition.

Psychologists are sure that reading contributes to a correct perception of the world. As soon as a change in attitude towards life has begun, you should not put the books aside. Literature is important for both our intellectual and spiritual development. It is believed that the main books that change one's outlook on life are classic works.

In many classical works you will find reflections of the main life values, traditional family foundations, where a man is not only the head of the family, but also the breadwinner, responsible for his own and the family’s well-being. Whereas a woman is the keeper of the hearth, a support for her husband and a loving mother for children.

Based on literary images, you can change your outlook on life and gradually move towards a positive perception. The fact is that literary works help to see the world in the right colors, distinguish between good and evil, set life priorities, and change the worldview as a whole. Your task is to remember: a pessimistic attitude towards life cannot lead to good things.

Vision of the world in human life

A person can go through many different stages during his life. Personality formation will take place in constant doubts and searches. Throughout his life he will be in contradictions and try to find the truth. In order to reach the highest point of knowledge, he needs to develop his own specific personal life position, which will be based on his own worldview.

All this is possible only if a person is truly interested in his own development. The formation of your own views will occur through the integration of different points of view and ideas. It is their transformation that will allow an individual to become an individual and a personality.

7 more tips on how to change your outlook on life

Ditch the “victim t-shirt.”

People who have a positive attitude towards life and get out of difficult situations more easily know for sure that they are in control of all their actions. They see themselves as active participants rather than victims of circumstances. Therefore, there is no point in demonstrating helplessness; they get rid of the “victim T-shirt” in time.
Set ambitious goals.
Thanks to a moderate level of stress, it is possible to rewire the brain and protect against more serious further experiences. Therefore, try to choose goals for yourself that require additional effort, this will make it easier for you to change your outlook on life.
See change as a chance for a better life.
Now for you, any changes, even for the worse (although they may only seem so) are not a crisis situation, but a chance to change for the better.
Don't forget about social medicine.
It's about the support of friends and family, and believe me, it is much more valuable than it might seem at first glance. People with a high level of stress tolerance mitigate the consequences of stress for themselves precisely through social support. But you don’t need to make a person feel sorry for yourself, you need care and encouragement.
Do what you like.
Scientists have found that stress-resistant people draw strength, energy and time for their work from a sincere interest in it.
Don't let yourself get bored.

A moderate level of stress allows you to avoid getting bored with your daily routine. University of Chicago psychology professor Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi described how you can avoid anxiety caused by overstimulation without getting bored. When a person finds a balance between these two states, he finds himself in the so-called “flow” and enjoys it.
Be curious.
Curiosity triggers active brain activity. Having developed this quality in yourself, you will turn any new environment into a source of impressions and knowledge. Due to an emotionally and intellectually rich environment, it is possible to positively change the neuroplasticity of the brain, and otherwise provoke its degradation.

History knows of people who started a new life after serious injuries - they were able to do this thanks to resilience. They remember very well what they went through, but do not give up and do not get bored in anticipation of something good. They work hard, including on themselves. If you have a series of failures, remember such people, they will help you change your outlook on life. After all, an important step on the path to rewiring the brain is to independently create a positive attitude. How to start valuing yourself:

Victory over yourself is just around the corner

Realizing that no one can change your views except yourself will help you cope with this task faster.

Even if you are satisfied with everything in life, from time to time think about what you would like more? By realizing their goals and aspirations, a person becomes more confident and happy.

Get rid of bad, destructive habits. This is easier said than done, so replace bad habits with good ones. Find someone you want to look up to. A mentor will definitely help if he sees your strong desire and desire for change.

Read books that make you think. Take time to think, ask yourself, what do I want? The hardest thing is to start, because we are constantly in a hurry, leaving all our questions unanswered. Don't stop halfway, strive to become better, and in the end you will come to this.

Try to plan your days, this will make it much easier to survive stressful situations that are an integral part of our lives. Find time for pleasant moments, dream. Plans and goals force a person to act and change, so set yourself tasks that you can complete. Life is beautiful, don't forget about it!

Cool films that change your outlook on life

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (USA, 2008)

We are talking about a film that can change your outlook on life. Its main character, a man, was born an 80-year-old man and begins to look younger. Like any of us, he could not stop time. His unusual path began in New Orleans in 1918 at the very end of the First World War. The film tells about the fate of a unique person, about people and events, the love that the hero gains and loses, about the joys of life and the sadness of losses, about what remains with us beyond time.

The Shallows (USA, 2016)

An endless ocean, a deserted beach and perfect weather for surfers. What could threaten a lonely surf lover and change this idyll? Perhaps a meeting with a giant shark, which will drive the girl onto a sandbank and will not retreat until it gets what it wants.

Outcast (USA, 2000)

The hero of this film, Chuck Noland, is an employee of the world famous Federal Express delivery service. He is scrupulous, an incorrigible pedant. His life is scheduled minute by minute, so he does not have enough time for his personal life and the woman he loves.

However, fate decides to change Noland's attitude towards the time allotted to him. The plane he is traveling on crashes into the ocean. The hero is the only one left alive and ends up on a desert island. Here he will spend many years in a difficult struggle for survival.

1+1 (France, 2011)

Philip, a wealthy aristocrat, is confined to a wheelchair and is forced to hire an assistant. But what comes to him is, it would seem, someone completely different from the one he needs. This is a guy who recently returned from prison. Despite Philip's condition, the young man manages to change his outlook on life and bring the spirit of adventure into measured everyday life.

Knocking on Heaven's Door (Germany, 1997)

The characters in the film meet in the hospital, where they learn that they don’t have much time left to live – this terrible event is enough to change their outlook on life. There are only a few hours left until the end, so you need to act quickly: the heroes steal a car with a million in the trunk and escape from the hospital.

They are chased by killers and police, they inevitably turn into robbers, they end up in a brothel. But they continue to rush forward, towards their destiny.

What Dreams May Come (New Zealand, 1998)

After being killed in a car accident, Chris Nielsen becomes immortal and tries to stay close to his mortal wife Annie. A spirit is assigned to him as a guide, who helps Chris get used to his new existence in a heavenly environment. But his wife, distraught with grief, decides to commit suicide, for which she is cursed and banished to hell. Chris is trying to find his beloved, but no one has ever managed to save a sinful soul from well-deserved retribution. With the help of his heavenly friends, Chris embarks on the most dangerous and painful journey of his life after death.

Amelie (France, 2001)

This light picture is also considered one of the films that changed your outlook on life. For example, did you know that all events, even the most insignificant ones, are surprisingly and miraculously connected? Just as the flight of a fly can cause a powerful hurricane many kilometers away, so the strange, incomprehensible actions of a modest girl named Amelie, living in the world of her fantasies, can forever change the lives and views of completely different people. Even give them happiness and paint the world with bright colors.

Up (USA, 2009)

Among the films that changed your outlook on life, one cartoon made it to the list. He distinguished himself by opening the Cannes Film Festival for the first time in history, which means he is definitely worthy of attention. This is a heartfelt animated masterpiece about the friendship between a hard-hearted old man and a little scout, and also a story about how to change your life without cutting off all the loose ends and withdrawing into yourself, but by opening yourself up to the world. This picture instills in the soul the confidence that it is never too late for anything.

Thank you for reading this article to the end.

Hello, my name is Yaroslav Samoilov. I am an expert in the psychology of relationships and over the years of practice I have helped more than 10,000 girls meet worthy soul mates, build harmonious relationships and return love and understanding to families that were on the verge of divorce.
More than anything, I am inspired by the happy eyes of students who meet the people of their dreams and enjoy a truly vibrant life.
My goal is to show women a way to develop relationships that will help them create a synergy of success and happiness!

Blue-green lifestyle: elite

The elite lifestyle is conveyed by the concept of “venerable.” This epithet indicates what exactly defines an elitist attitude and behavior. For the elite, two senses of self are important: self-respect and inner satisfaction. To those uninitiated in elitology, the category “venerable” immediately catches the eye. Indeed, as a first approximation, one might think that respectable approval is important to the elite. For the “chosen ones,” it is of great value to live according to one’s own convictions in order to maintain self-respect thanks to these principles. But it is possible that recognition and self-respect serve for the elite only as a means of achieving life satisfaction. One belief has undoubtedly become ingrained in the flesh and blood of the elite: only those who live according to their own convictions and uncompromisingly maintain self-respect can be satisfied with life.

Another concept distinguishes an elite lifestyle. First of all, behavior that meets high ethical and aesthetic criteria. An elite person seeks true quality of life not in fashionable everyday life, but in values that have stood the test of time. The elite type finds the true quality of life where the best representatives of society have reached the heights of culture. Where many generations of outstanding people have created a generally recognized high style. Therefore, the easiest way to meet a bearer of elitism is in an antique store. He is looking for a rare book that is not on the order list. He puts his favorite books in leather binding and enjoys carefully holding the rarity in his hands. In a junk shop, he looks for a cabinet or table, painted in an unattractive color, but perfect in form, so that, having eliminated traces of bad taste, he can enjoy the marvelous object. He knows the normal price for everything, but he is ready to pay a lot of money for good wine or a silk carpet. One ancient chronicler described the inhabitants of my hometown with the following words: “More to be than to appear.” A real person does not show what and how much he owns.

When I was a student, a professor of philosophy and mathematics invited me to visit. He made this rare exception for me, because even then I shared his favorite thesis: “The psyche functions according to mathematical laws.” Every time I voiced this statement, he confirmed: “Of course, because Proclus also said...” Each time followed by a long statement in Greek. I still don’t know the meaning of this expression. I don’t know, probably because I felt very subtly: I would never be able to admit to this elitist scientist that I knew only a few words in Greek. The professor belonged to a patrician family that had been represented at our university for several generations.

The park and the professor’s house were located in the most expensive part of the city: for the money that a plot of land measuring 10x10 square meters cost here, one could build a small house. The professor's simple brick house was located at the end of a poplar alley. The house was furnished with stylish furniture and hung with oil paintings, which at that time did not interest me at all. One day a professor wanted to explain to me an aesthetic principle using mathematics. He explained this principle using the example of a painting hanging over the sofa on which he usually sat. In conclusion, the professor said: “You see, Leonardo knew that beauty is a mathematical concept.” There really was an original Leonardo da Vinci hanging on the wall. “More to be than to appear” - for a representative of the elite this is something taken for granted. This man did not have a car. He walked or rode the tram. If a scientist on a tram noticed a person he liked, he went to him with the words: “My name is S...” What is your name?" The self-respect that the elite possesses eliminates the feeling of inferiority. The man has found inner peace, he is satisfied with life. This attitude turns a person into a tactful, interested observer. He is a connoisseur, and if necessary, an expert. The main thing for him is quality, true dignity. He is picky about the people he associates with. Strict in the interests that he supports. Selective in the objects with which he surrounds himself.

Self-esteem and satisfaction require quality. But it is necessary not only in aesthetic, but especially in ethical behavior. The ethical qualities characteristic of an elite person are, first of all, fairness, reliability and responsibility. It is precisely this range of responsibilities that includes the thesis: “the position obliges.”

On the contrary, people without the appropriate origin (“sine nobihtate”), that is, snobs, are pseudo-elite dudes. A snob tries to pretend to be a noble person. And he creates his high position by external means. Snobs don't always buy the best, but they always buy expensive things. Snobs don’t care whether things in themselves are good or bad; they care about a well-known brand, the name of the manufacturer of things. They would even put on the “king’s new dress” if this “nothing” had the name of a famous fashion designer on it. They hang on themselves and on the walls what is considered prestigious. The easiest way is to imitate aesthetic models. You can learn a “subtle” understanding of style in no time: just turn to an antique dealer. I learned from an American how old antique things should be. He showed me his spacious villa, describing in detail every picture, every table, every lamp. He talked about things that I, with all their merits, saw with my own eyes, but the American always ended his comments on each thing with the words “... and over 150 years old.”

A representative of the elite does not show off anything - neither his property, nor education, nor knowledge, nor titles. A snob, on the contrary, demonstrates everything possible. He is a show-off. His life principle: “More to appear than to be.” Anything is good for appearances - a car that can be rented, a title that can be bought, a title that consists of several meaningless letters. In the restaurant, he pretends that he knows good wines, while focusing on prices. He is always welcome at opening days, and this is very important to him, and the paintings do not bother him. Being present at a concert, he, of course, knows the name of the famous conductor. He is able to distinguish a Bach fugue from a Radetzky march by the volume of its sound. When talking to a snob, after just a few sentences you are amazed at how many influential and famous friends he has. In his elitist pose there is no real quality, there is an appearance of quality. Imaginary elitism (snobbery) is not self-respect, but a desire to arouse the admiration of the public.

Red-yellow lifestyle: popularity

I first realized the differences between different life styles a long time ago. Then I was in one vacation spot. One day we were sitting with a director in the market square. A famous pop singer approached us. “Robert, your film about the famous X is fantastic!” - the singer began. “You should definitely make a film about me.” “You are the last person I will undertake to make a film about,” came the frank answer. The hit master insisted: “Robert, everyone knows me. I'm popular. If you make a film about me, I will become very famous, and I want to become very famous." Neither the singer himself nor his songs were to my taste, but I was surprised by the precision with which he chose his words and his honest assessment of his image. Thanks to this singer, I started thinking: what is popular, famous, famous? And what do other social statuses and their corresponding life styles mean? Many of those who want to become popular cannot even hope that someone will have too high an opinion of them. If a waiter or barmaid calls such “unknown celebrities” by name, this is already a balm for their hearts.

But those who strive for real popularity must make great efforts. He participates in the work of some union or party because his colleagues do so. And to become even more famous, he takes on the responsibilities of a corporate treasurer, or some kind of mass work, because he must constantly be in sight. If he notices that although they greet him, many do not know him by name, then such humiliation arouses even greater zeal in him. To become president and to be called in the future “Mr. Mayer, our president” - this is how a person thirsting for popularity sees the fulfillment of his dream. He carefully reads newspapers to borrow any innovation.

If he is hailed as “our enterprising president”, he will be happy because that is the mark of a progressive person. When participating in the work of some union, party or sect, the main thing for him is development, the future, because development is at the same time an increase in his popularity. Such a person, in principle, can be considered a progressive. Moderately progressive, of course. Any other treatment would be unfair.

With some reservations, such a progressive can be considered among the elite. But this is not an expert knowledgeable in special fields, he is only an exponent (or even a translator) of popular opinions. It is enough for him to be a herald to receive applause. He participates in everything and goes everywhere where he should be known. Depending on the fun or seriousness of the moment, he always has the usual maverick jeans or a reactionary tailcoat ready. But for all occasions he has a spectacular speech ready without any content, a speech about nothing.

The hidden motivation for all these actions are two weakened feelings of self, which he wants to get rid of with the help of popularity. The first is the fear of being rejected, the fear of being lost. The second is weak self-confidence, fear of not achieving recognition. Anyone who has achieved popularity no longer feels lost; he can imagine that he has achieved recognition. But this is just an embellished fantasy. Most often, it is not truly elite individuals who strive for such a goal, but celebrities.

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