Ways to build trust in a relationship

Trust: Without it there can be no healthy relationship . And yet, almost all of us can remember a scenario where our trust was broken.

This article examines how to build trust in a variety of relationships, including practical tips and actions that build trust.

How to Build Trust: 12 General Tips

The following suggestions on how to build trust were provided by Carthage Buckley , stress and performance coach.

Be true to your word

The point of building trust is to get others to believe what you say . Keep in mind that building trust requires not only keeping the promises you make, but also not making promises you can't keep.

Important! If you keep your word, it shows others what you expect of them, and in turn, they will be more likely to treat you with respect, developing further trust in the process.

Learn how to communicate effectively with others

Poor communication is the leading cause of relationship breakdown. Good communication includes being clear about what you need to do and what has been agreed upon.

It takes time to build and earn trust

Building trust is a daily commitment. Don't make the mistake of expecting too much too soon. To build trust, take small steps and make small commitments at first , and then as trust grows, you will become more comfortable making larger commitments. Trust and you will usually receive trust in return.

Take time to make decisions and think before acting too quickly

Make only commitments that you agree with. Have the courage to say no , even if it disappoints someone. If you agree to something and can't follow through, everyone involved is worse off.

Important! Be clear about what you have and keep track of your obligations. Staying organized is a necessary part of building trust with family, friends and colleagues.

Value the relationships you have

Trust is often the result of consistency. We tend to trust the most in the people who are there for us in good times and bad. Regularly showing someone that you are there for them is an effective way to build trust.

Develop your team skills and participate openly

When you take an active part in the team and contribute, people are more likely to respect and trust you. When building trust within a team, you also need to demonstrate your willingness to trust others.

Being open and willing to contribute and participate demonstrates this. In other words, take into account what others have to say, show that you are actively listening , respectfully share your thoughts, and demonstrate that you are willing to be part of a team.

Always be honest

The message you convey must always be true. If you are caught in a lie, no matter how small, your credibility will be diminished.

Help people

Helping another person, even if it does not bring any benefit, builds trust. Genuine kindness helps build trust.

Don't hide your feelings

Being open about your emotions is often an effective way to build trust. Plus, if people know you care, they'll be more likely to trust you.

Emotional intelligence plays a role in building trust. Acknowledging your feelings, internalizing the prevailing lessons, and taking productive action means you won't deny reality—this is key to building trust.

Confession

Recognition and appreciation play an important role in building trust and maintaining good relationships. Recognizing and appreciating the efforts of others shows your talent for leadership and teamwork and increases others' trust in you.

On the other hand, if people do not show appreciation for a good deed, they appear selfish. Selfishness destroys trust.

Always do what you think is right

Doing something solely for approval means sacrificing your values and beliefs. It reduces trust in yourself, your values, and your beliefs. Always doing what you think is right, even if others disagree, will make others respect your integrity.

Important! Interestingly, when you build trust, you must be willing to upset others from time to time. People don't trust people who simply say what they think others want to hear.

Admit your mistakes

When you try to hide your mistakes, people know you are dishonest. By being open, you show your vulnerable side and this helps you gain the trust of other people.

This is because they feel that you are more like them - everyone makes mistakes. If you pretend that you never make mistakes, you will find it difficult to trust others. When all a person sees is the “perfection” you project, they probably won’t trust you.

Reasons why it is difficult to learn to trust

Now let's look at what may be the primary source of mistrust:

1) The presence of emotional pain in the past associated with trust, an experience that makes you afraid of its repetition in the future.

2) Experience of a hostile separation process.

3) Childhood spent in an emotionally unstable environment (problems in parental relationships).

4) Serious deception (possibly betrayal) of a loved one in one of the past or current relationships.

5) Low self-esteem, because of which you cannot believe that you are worthy of love and care from another person.

How to build trust with your partner in a marriage or relationship?

Andrea Bonior, licensed clinical psychologist, professor, and author, shares the following tips for building trust with your partner in a marriage or relationship. Bonior suggests that trust is necessary for emotional intimacy and that it is essential for healthy, intimate relationships. It is much easier and faster to lose trust than to build it.

As we get older, we adjust our expectations and behavior, learning not to trust an untruthful person, which helps protect ourselves from being disappointed again. So when you're trying to develop trust in a relationship, don't say anything you can't handle.

Important! It's also important not to say things that don't accurately reflect how you feel. Consistent lying will cause the other person to no longer trust what you say.

Another aspect of building trust is becoming increasingly vulnerable in the relationship as it progresses. People feel trust when they rely on each other. In our relationships, we build trust through vulnerability. Part of this will happen automatically over time through our daily interactions, such as feeling confident that our partner will be there when we need it.

Respect plays an important role in trust. One of the most emotionally persistent ways our partners can hurt us is if they put us down or look at us with condescension or contempt because a lack of respect destroys trust.

Important! Unfortunately, we sometimes show our partners our worst qualities. We may be more likely to lash out at people we are close to than at a stranger. We lose sight of the fact that respect is even more meaningful for those we love.

You don't have to always be polite to your partner. However, remember that any time you treat your partner in a way that violates a basic level of respect, you will damage your connection. It will also make it harder for your partner to trust you over time.

Bonior describes the difference between how a patient feels about the opinion of a trusted doctor versus the opinion of a doctor whom the patient has never seen before. Although a patient may be willing to trust a new doctor because of her medical qualifications, it is likely that he will feel much more comfortable with a doctor with whom he has developed trust. He may even find it easier to hear bad news from his regular doctor.

Important! Another way to build trust in a relationship is to express your feelings in a helpful way. An important component of emotional intimacy is the ability to talk about your feelings without yelling, verbal attacks, or stopping the conversation.

So to build trust, develop ways to discuss difficult feelings that are collaborative and respectful. To gain trust, you must give him or her the opportunity to connect with the “real” you.

Finally, in order to build trust with your partner in a marriage or relationship, it is important to consider reciprocity. In other words, be willing to give as well as receive. Both partners should feel comfortable with the levels of giving and receiving.

What is trust according to people?

What do real people think about this?

Feedback on the forum

What is trust? How many people, so many opinions.

Restoring trust after deception

If you are deceived or hurt, it can take a very long time to learn to trust again. You may automatically think that you should break up with the person who betrayed your trust. However, others may want to stay in the relationship, believing that their partners' actions are not bad enough to give up on the relationship. In any case, it is important to rebuild trust after difficult situations , whether between you and your partner or you and a future partner or friends.

When trust has been broken, such as after being cheated on, and you are trying to rebuild trust, it may be unwise to cast aside all your doubts at once. However, if you still hope to rebuild trust, you will need to resolve some of your doubts or put them on hold to give your partner a chance to help you. If your partner doesn't do this, then they are breaking the trust building.

In any relationship, especially one threatened by infidelity, healthy communication is important. Each partner should be able to speak honestly, and if an argument ensues, both people should "fight fair" without wasting time on the past. To rebuild trust, remember that your relationship may look different after being cheated on. However, it is also possible to build something new, although both partners must be willing to build a new relationship together.

Important! It is extremely difficult to stay in the present and move into the future after someone cheats - it is easier to stay in the past or worry about the past. Although someone who has been cheated on has the right to feel hurt, angry, or sad, if he or she cannot move on from these feelings, it may be a sign that the relationship cannot last.

It is important, although difficult, to trust yourself. Learning to trust yourself and your own feelings and reassure yourself that you will be okay moving forward is the key to any healthy relationship.

Perhaps the most important aspect of rebuilding trust after a partner has cheated is open communication. Talk and truly listen to each other. Both partners need to think about what the other needs. Partners must openly share their needs and consider whether they are willing to meet those needs. If either party feels that they are unwilling or unable to meet their partner's needs, they may need to seriously reconsider whether continuing the relationship is right.

However, what if you are the one who cheated? For example, maybe you cheated on your partner, but you both agreed to try to continue the relationship. What do you need to do to move forward?

Start by taking responsibility for your actions. Own up to your behavior and take responsibility for it. Also have an understanding of how your behavior affected your partner's feelings. Reflect on your actions and think about what made you decide to cheat.

Important! As you move forward, keep your promises. To show that you can be trusted, do what you say you are going to do. For example, if you say you are going to call, be sure to call.

It may take your partner some time to process what happened, and he or she has every right to feel hurt and angry about your deception. Give him or her space to express these feelings to you.

Important! The process of rebuilding trust takes time and cannot happen overnight. However, keep in mind that your partner has no right to be abusive towards you.

Why does trust disappear between a man and a woman?

The most popular reason for doubt is a bad previous experience . It is necessary to forget the past and start everything from scratch.
Distrust and suspicion can be caused by the dubious attitude of your significant other or his superficial attitude towards you.
A lack of healthy self-esteem or internal problems can sow the seed of mistrust in a lover.
Suspicion and mistrust can also arise unfoundedly . If, for example, your life partner is susceptible to pathological jealousy. The reason for this may be internal self-doubt, improper upbringing, etc.
Your own lies, infidelity and dishonest behavior . Surprisingly, it is precisely such reasons that can make a person not believe in the integrity of his partner.

Regular nervous tension is fraught with stress, which negatively affects well-being, provokes insomnia and many other troubles. And relationships themselves without trust come to a logical conclusion quite quickly and parting does not always take place peacefully. Sometimes mistrust makes a life partner quite difficult in everyday life; he becomes too suspicious, which also plays an important role in the breakup of couples.

How to develop self-confidence?

The point is that you can never count on the other person 100% of the time. However, there is one person we know we can count on: ourselves. As Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said:

“Once you believe in yourself, you will know how to live”

Self-confidence is an important concept because having it allows you to protect your own needs and safety. It allows you to trust that you can handle difficult situations and allows you to practice kindness towards yourself rather than striving for perfection.

Self-confidence involves being aware of your thoughts and feelings and being able to express them. To gain self-confidence, respect your emotions and avoid relying on the opinions of others. This allows you to develop confidence in your ability to cope with any problems that arise. Self-confidence is gained by cultivating our deepest thoughts.

Self-confidence also includes living by your own standards and ethics, and knowing when to meet your own needs. Having self-confidence requires knowing that you can tolerate mistakes. Self-confidence also allows you to do what you want.

Avoid people who undermine your self-confidence. Often these people are using you and don't want you to succeed. Although as children we often cannot control the negative people we have in our lives, as adults we can certainly consider whether people support us and whether we really want them in our lives.

Important! Keep your promises to yourself. Keep your commitments, whether it's setting goals or pursuing your dreams. An important part of this is making promises to yourself and keeping them.

One example of such a commitment is creating and maintaining a personal boundary. Building self-confidence also includes becoming your own best friend.

Speak kindly to yourself. Everyone has a harsh inner critic that sometimes takes on the voice of a parent or teacher from your past that makes you think you're not good enough. However, you can reduce or eliminate the habit of listening to your inner critic . Try to be more kind to yourself.

For example, if you make a mistake, you may immediately think, “I’m so stupid!” Instead, try telling yourself: Everything is okay. It was just a small mistake. Expressing empathy when you make a mistake allows you to better understand others when they make mistakes.

Important! Self-confidence is not perfection - you have to believe in your ability to overcome mistakes or failures. Self-confidence develops by connecting with our emotional well-being.

Ask yourself: “How am I?” Find out what's going on inside you rather than simply ignoring the emotional distress. In other words, be mindful of your inner feelings. Self-confidence develops when we honor ourselves , regardless of whether we approve of certain aspects of ourselves.

Two types of communication

When they say the word “intimacy” they often mean relationships. But while physical and emotional connections can enhance each other, they can easily exist separately. You can have sex with someone without feeling anything for them. And vice versa. True emotional intimacy includes a wide range of experiences. People who have managed to build a close connection with each other are not afraid to share their innermost thoughts and desires with each other in bed.

Sexologist Michael Krichman believes that intimacy is very important for mental and physical health. “There must be some biological reason why people maintain pair bonds even when they are not sexually intimate. I believe this reason has evolutionary basis. There is no denying that two people always cope with problems and dangers faster than one,” he says in an interview.

Confidence games and exercises for group therapy

Ian Brinn of the University of Michigan has compiled a list of suggestions for building trust and creating a safe environment. Confidence-building activities can be useful in situations, such as group therapy , where connection or relationship building is required. The purpose of these exercises and games is to enable participants to discover similarities and differences between group members and to develop empathy and respect.

Chairs in a circle

Create a circle of chairs and ask group members to sit. Have one person stand in the middle and move the chair back so there is one less chair than the group. The person in the middle will share something about themselves. For example, “My name is Jane and I was in Japan.”

If other group members either agree with the statement or have experienced the same thing, they stand up . Everyone standing (including the person in the middle) is trying to find a place on the remaining chairs.

Mutual language

Break therapy participants into small groups and ask them to talk about what they have in common. Encourage them to think about unusual things as well as the obvious ones. Such as eye color.

Tell the group that they have 15 minutes to present as many general facts as possible. The group with the most total wins the game.

Tower of Trust

Divide the participants into groups and explain that they have 15 minutes to build the tallest tower they can using 50 to 100 plastic cups.

After 15 minutes, measure each tower. Then ask each group to explain the process they used to build the tower, the problems they encountered, and what they learned about working together as a team.

Fear in the hat

Once a safe and trusting environment has been created, this activity can be used to build empathy .

Provide the group with a hat, pieces of paper, and writing utensils. Each group member then anonymously writes down their personal fears on a piece of paper and places them in a hat.

Group members will then draw a piece of paper from a hat and take turns reading them out loud and explaining how they feel about this fear. After all the fears have been read, discuss how experiencing empathy and sharing common fears can help teams build trust.

Building trust in business

Building trust is not only important in your personal life, it is also essential in the business world. Respect is one of the most important traits a business leader can have . Leaders cannot build trust if they do not show others the respect they deserve.

Important! To gain trust, leaders must first show that they are trustworthy. This cannot be proven in words. Instead, leaders must put themselves in a position that demonstrates their trusting actions so that followers can believe what they see.

To become a trustworthy leader, you need to show commitment to those around you. If a problem arises, you can instantly earn someone's loyalty by taking the blame instead of blaming someone else.

You must also take responsibility for your actions. Therefore, if you make a mistake, take responsibility for it. Then move on. The team will not trust or respect you if you place blame on them or allow them to bear the burden of your mistakes.

Leaders remember their goals and always try to find better ways to make those goals a reality. People will only follow those who have a set goal. Therefore, part of building confidence as a leader is to focus on what the team needs to achieve in the long term and how to take the team to the next level.

Don't rely on words or speeches to win people over. Instead, focus on your actions to show people what you can do. True leaders are willing to work hard to show others how things are done or how goals will be achieved.

Important! To build trust, demonstrate your work experience. Strong leaders continue to learn throughout their careers to stay on top of new trends and stay ahead of others.

Last but not least is the importance of honesty. It is necessary to be honest to gain trust and authority . Essentially, if a leader is dishonest, others will not trust him. And if they lose trust, they will also lose respect. Ultimately, if honesty is not prioritized, everything will fall apart, so use honesty as the building block of trust.

How to build trust with clients and patients?

Building trust with clients will lead to better results in all types of scenarios. Here are some tips on how to build trust with members in each category.

To build trust with customers, it is advisable to improve security. Make sure customers feel safe when they interact with you.

This is especially important now given the growth of online businesses. Be active on social media to increase your visibility and attract more customers. Creating visibility through social media also allows for greater flexibility: you can interact with followers and customers, post images or videos, or update news.

Make customer service your priority. If a customer has a problem and receives prompt and helpful service, their experience will be memorable and they will be more likely to engage your services in the future. Likewise, think about what happens if you don't provide that level of service: you'll likely lose that customer entirely, which could also negatively impact your reputation.

Important! Strive to make your brand more personal. This could be related to your interactions with customers or marketing and advertising. Generally speaking, the more you talk to your clients, the better. Listen and pay attention to them.

Finally, to gain the trust of your clients, be as accessible as possible. Make sure your brand or business is accessible to customers in some way. Provide multiple lines of communication, such as email and phone number, to let clients know you are available.

Patients

Developing trust with patients helps them feel more comfortable and allows them to be more open when discussing their health.

Communication is key. Communicate well and frequently with your patients. This will include getting to know your patients and possibly learning about their hobbies, families, daily activities and work environment.

Important! It is also very important to be a good listener. Demonstrate this by listening to all their concerns and asking them follow-up questions.

The second way to build trust in your relationships with patients is through empathy. You must have the ability to express empathy to patients while maintaining boundaries that prevent you from experiencing emotional distress. Try to communicate with your patients, but maintain boundaries so that their problems or attitudes do not overly influence you.

Finally, instill calm in patients. Health care workers should be perceived as calm, competent, and in control (within reason). Most patients will be reassured by a calm and confident demeanor. Then, if something goes wrong, they will be more able to remain calm because they will trust that you can handle it.

What prevents women from learning to trust men?

First of all, women’s deep-seated beliefs associated with past experiences, experiences, stories of friends and acquaintances. For example:

I have suffered before and I am sure that this will happen again.
Men always pursue some kind of benefit in their relationships with me. Therefore, you need to behave the same way with them.
You can't trust anyone.
The ones you love always hurt.
“All men are assholes” and are not trustworthy.
Everyone wants to hurt me.
As soon as I open up to him, he will laugh at me and leave me.
There is no such thing as a correct, healthy, happy relationship.
It is better to live your whole life alone than to risk your mental health because of men.
You can’t show your weaknesses to anyone because they will definitely be used against me.

Are you familiar with such statements? If yes, read on.