First sex is a reason for lust, excitement and even anxiety for both boys and girls. While young men are concerned about whether they can do everything right, girls worry about whether deflowering will bring them pain and discomfort. In order for the first experience to go well for both partners, it is necessary to study all the details about sexual contact between a man and a woman. Understanding your own physiology and that of your partner will help you feel more confident and try to both receive and give pleasure.
Suitable age
In the Russian Federation, the age of consent is determined by law: 16 years. Despite the fact that adulthood comes at 18, from the age of 16 young people have the right to have sex with each other. But sexual contact with a person under this age is not legal and carries criminal liability.
Each person's first sexual experience may occur at a different age. Physiologically, both boys and girls can be ready for sexual intercourse as early as 13-14 years old, when the most active period of puberty passes. By this age, most boys have a stable erection and this process stabilizes; in girls, a regular menstrual cycle is established. Physiologically, their bodies are already ready to become parents.
However, from a psychological point of view, the appropriate age for the first time is 17-18 years old. At this time, young people can already control their desire and can learn enough about their own bodies to be ready for sexual intercourse.
Swing in sex - what types are there and how can swingers find a partner?
The appropriate age for first sex is determined differently for each person. 17-18 years is a generalized value, and in the presence of certain psychological and physiological factors, the first sexual contact can be either at an earlier or at a later age. The main thing is that a person is internally prepared for this; only in this way can the experience be called successful.
Highlights of first intimacy
Many boys and girls ask the question: “At what age can you start having your first intimate relationship?” The answer to this question is ambiguous. There is an opinion in society that you need to start having sex after marriage (at about 18-25 years old).
But the influence of Western culture made its own adjustments. Now many lovers learn the basics of intercourse almost in their teens, before they even get married. And many couples have sex while in a civil marriage. As you can see, there is no exact age for the onset of intimacy.
As for sex itself, it can be viewed from both a physiological and psychological point of view. If in the first case it will be knowledge of basic techniques, then in the second it will be sensuality. The psychological aspect plays a huge role - when people love each other, intimacy becomes more passionate and emotional.
If there is no love in the relationship, sex will be perceived as ordinary mechanical actions. Therefore, if there are no feelings, it is better not to start sex.
What's happening
The first sexual contact is a crucial moment for both partners. In order for it to be successful, a man and a girl must alternately go through all stages of sexual intercourse (we are talking about classic vaginal sex):
- Prelude. Partners give each other pleasure through foreplay - stroking, kissing, massage. During foreplay, both the man and the girl should get aroused.
- When a man is aroused, an erection occurs. Blood flows to the penis, and it increases in size, while becoming hard enough to easily enter the vagina.
- Female arousal is associated not only with blood flow to the genital organ, but also with the release of a special lubricant. Thanks to such secretions, the penis enters the vagina more easily, and the girl does not experience pain.
- When both partners are sufficiently aroused, the man carefully inserts his penis into the girl’s vagina. It is important to do this gradually so that the partner does not experience severe discomfort. For those girls whose hymen is not elastic, it tears during the first sexual intercourse - because of this, spotting may appear. This is absolutely natural, but it doesn’t happen to everyone.
- The man makes progressive movements with his penis in the girl’s vagina until the peak of sexual arousal and ejaculation occurs. At this time, sperm is released and sexual arousal subsides.
- A girl does not always get an orgasm for the first time. If this does not happen, then after the main act, her partner can help her get pleasure with the help of additional caresses.
The last stage should be a discussion of the first sex between partners. Each of them should share their feelings, show affection and gratitude towards their partner, and express their wishes for the next time.
There's no shame in being natural6
Sex without embarrassing body sounds, awkward movements, absolute silence, slurping and squelching sounds is only possible in porn. There are awkward situations in life that you need to be able to cope with by reacting with a slight smile. You shouldn’t focus on small mistakes and run without looking back, raking up scattered clothes along the way. Sex is as natural as all sounds and phenomena that occur with living organisms.
If the moment of hot glances and frankly vulgar correspondence smoothly turned into a relationship of a close nature, then what difference does it make what rules and advice exist? A sincere desire to be closer to your partner, to feel his touch, enjoy caresses and give yourself in return will help you cope with anxiety.
Key Features
Young people of both sexes need to understand how their bodies work. To do this, it is worth learning more about anatomy (both male and female) and physiology.
One of the best ways to get to know your own body is through masturbation. Even at a young age, people can learn what activities bring them pleasure. In the future, this will help you get sexual satisfaction from sex with your partner.
Preparing a girl
The main thing a girl should do before her first sexual intercourse is to find a partner with whom she wants to do it. She must completely trust her boyfriend and be internally ready to part with her virginity without experiencing psychological stress. There must be a certain level of stress, but if a girl is very afraid, she simply will not be able to experience sufficient excitement to release lubricant.
Man's readiness
By the time a man has sexual intercourse for the first time, he should have a stable erection, when the penis becomes hard enough to be inserted into the vagina. Also, a young man must understand that he is responsible for his partner and for her feelings, as well as for all the consequences (contraception during the first sex is required).
Breathing exercises calm the nervous system and help you “pull yourself together”
Do the following exercises immediately before the test:
Autoregulation of breathing. In this case, the rhythm should come first, and then the duration of inhalations and exhalations. What does autoregulated breathing do? Calm breathing can prevent mood swings and help you quickly calm down.
Anti-stress breathing. Take a deep breath through your nose, then hold your breath for just a moment, then slowly exhale. Be sure to imagine something very pleasant, and if conditions allow, close your eyes.
A minute of relaxation. For this exercise, you need to relax the corners of your mouth as much as possible, as well as the muscles of your face. Concentrate on the position of your body and facial expression, as they reflect absolutely all your emotions and state of mind.
Variety
There is a misconception that the first sexual intercourse must be classic vaginal - when the penis penetrates the vagina. However, in fact, the first time can be oral or anal, because deflowering for both partners is not only a physiological, but also a psychological milestone.
For example, a girl who has already had anal sex can hardly be considered a virgin psychologically, while the spit in her vagina may remain in place.
Oral
Oral sex is the satisfaction of a partner by caressing his genitals with the mouth (lips and tongue). A girl's caressing of a man's penis is called blowjob, and a man's caressing of the female genitals is called cunnilingus. Such sexual contact can be used as foreplay, when partners do not achieve orgasm, but only become aroused.
Vaginal
Vaginal sex is classic sex, when the penis enters the girl’s vagina. It is this option that is most preferable for the first time, since girls secrete lubricant, which facilitates penetration, and the hymen also breaks (or stretches).
Anal
Anal sex isn't everyone's cup of tea, but some couples find it very exciting. During such contact, the penis enters the woman’s anus; for comfortable penetration, a lubricant will be required (the anus does not secrete natural lubrication). This type of sex is undesirable for those who have never engaged in it before, since a lack of experience can lead to discomfort and pain for both partners.
Types of sex: 41 options from classic to extreme
Preparing for the first night
In order to feel confident and comfortable, the girl needs to think about a number of points in advance. For example, what kind of underwear she will be wearing. The best thing to do is go to the store and buy the set of your own dreams to feel like a queen. Naturally, you need to close your eyes to your own shortcomings in appearance. After all, as psychologists and sexologists say, a man has long since appreciated everything he wanted from the outside.
Of course, you need to think about how to talk to a guy about the need for a condom. There is now an unlimited amount of information about this. And any self-respecting woman who cares about her own health will never agree to unprotected sexual intercourse. Firstly, there is a very high risk of getting some serious illness (this is not what ladies dream about when they go to bed with their lover for the first time), secondly, the probable risk of unnecessary pregnancy can also negate all romance.
Experts convince us that such a conversation is also a very good test of a young person’s responsibility. If he flatly refuses to use remedy No. 1, it’s better to give up the night with such a guy altogether.
Is there pain on contact?
Despite popular belief, pain does not always accompany the first sex. A girl may experience discomfort if:
- insufficient natural lubrication;
- the girl is nervous and unconsciously squeezes her vaginal muscles;
- the man has a fairly large penis, which hardly fits into a narrow vagina;
- A girl’s hymen is not elastic, so it tears during penile penetration.
To reduce discomfort, you need to try to relax, take a more comfortable position and use a special lubricant to make the penis enter easier.
Questions that often arise in connection with sex life
One of the main issues related to intimate life is when girls should start having sex. Scientists cannot give a specific answer to this, because each person decides this for himself. But there are a number of tips that are worth listening to. So, for example, there is no need to rush. It is better to spend the first night, so that she leaves pleasant memories for herself, with her beloved man, and not just for the sake of sporting enthusiasm with an unfamiliar young man. Of course, you shouldn’t go to bed with a guy even at a very young age. Firstly, you won’t be able to get pleasure. Secondly, the risk of a huge number of problems arising on this basis is very high.
Remember that the first night should remain in your memory as the most magical, so approach it thoughtfully and carefully.
Choosing a partner
The choice of partner largely determines whether a guy or girl will like their first experience. There are several opposing opinions about what is better: to have sex for the first time with someone who has already had such experience, or with the same virgin.
There is no single solution here. The partner may or may not be experienced, but the main thing is to have trust in each other and really want intimacy. The girl should be confident that her boyfriend will be responsible and will not hurt her, and the man should trust his partner and feel that she is truly passionate about him and will not be embarrassed if he does something wrong.
Inexperienced
The first time with an inexperienced partner is an opportunity for a couple to get closer psychologically. By trusting each other, lovers will be able to have an unforgettable experience if everyone takes care of the comfort of their partner. At the same time, their inexperience will not hurt if people really trust each other and have at least a basic understanding of human physiology.
More experienced
A partner who has already had sexual experience can be a good teacher. The main thing is that he is sensitive to the one who loses his virginity with him, and is determined to help and support his beloved. It is important that both want sex equally, otherwise embarrassment and discomfort cannot be avoided.
Make sure you have reliable protection
Infections and pregnancy - if these two factors are not desirable, before having sex for the first time, you need to take care of reliable protection. The best option is condoms. They should usually be bought by a young person. But a girl should also have at least one pack of such safety precautions in her purse, just in case.
It is better to purchase such protection in advance and put it under the bed or in a nearby nightstand so that you can use it at the right time.
It is better to buy classic condoms, not flavored ones, ribbed or with “mustaches,” but classic ones. Moreover, it is better to do this not in a supermarket, but in a pharmacy, where each product is carefully checked.
Possible consequences
Sex is not only pleasure, but also a great responsibility. If you do not follow safety rules and do not protect yourself, then after the first time you may encounter unpleasant consequences.
Pregnancy
Unfortunately, many couples forget about contraception, believing that pregnancy will not occur after the first time. In fact, this is not true: the conception of a child can occur at any time when sperm enters the vagina. At the same time, coitus interruptus (COI) is not a reliable means of protection - sperm can be released even before ejaculation, when the penis is in the vagina.
The most reliable method of protection for the first time is condoms. In the future, the girl can start taking birth control pills, or use other methods - an intrauterine device or suppositories.
Injury to the mucous membrane
Damage to the mucous membrane can occur if a girl produces insufficient lubrication during sexual intercourse. The penis does not glide well and enter the vagina, which leads to pain, discomfort and microtrauma.
To avoid this, just buy a lubricant at the pharmacy and use it during sexual intercourse. This will help not only protect the mucous membrane from injury, but also make the first time more comfortable for both partners.
First time girl and guy
Remember that starting a sexual relationship should be a thoughtful decision in which you are 100% sure. So if the vision scares you for the first time, you don't know anything about birth control, or you want to lose your virginity under pressure from your partner or others, don't do it. However, if you decide to have sexual intercourse for the first time, first of all, do not worry. Know that you can refuse at any time, but it is important to do so so as not to harm your partner. Don't force each other to do anything.
Vorobyova Marina
Neurologist of the highest qualification category (work experience 14 years), doctor of neurofunctional diagnostics (work experience 12 years); author of scientific publications on vertebroneurology; participant of scientific conferences on neurology and functional diagnostics of all-Russian and international significance.
Changes after first sex
After their first sexual intercourse, both women and men begin to feel differently. This manifests itself both physically and psychologically.
Among women
When a woman has sex for the first time, her body begins to rebuild. He understands that conception is now possible and prepares to perform his reproductive function.
The psychological aspect of deflowering is of great importance. It is important that the girl does not regret what she has done and does not feel “dirty” or “sinful”. To do this, parents and her partner need to create a comfortable environment around her and explain in time that sex is a natural and pleasant process in which there is nothing immoral.
Physiological
After the first sex, a girl’s hymen changes (if it was there initially): it can tear or simply stretch. Many women, once they become sexually active, find it more comfortable to use tampons during menstruation.
Missionary position: varieties, advantages and disadvantages
Also, having sex for the first time can affect your menstrual cycle: it may be a little off. This occurs due to hormonal changes that occur within a few days after sexual intercourse.
Emotional condition
Emotionally, after the first time, a woman feels that she is already an adult and ready to take responsibility. The simplest example is that she quite consciously engages in sexual contacts and takes care that an unplanned pregnancy does not occur.
In some cases, girls experience a depressed state after the first sex. This is due to psychological barriers and foundations imposed by society. In such cases, a girl needs support and attention from her partner to make her feel loved and desired.
In men
For young men, sexual intercourse is the first step into adulthood. They learn to receive and give pleasure, and also take care of their partner as if they were a physically weaker person.
Psychological aspects
For young men, having sex for the first time is a source of pride. They feel mature and attractive to women, and they will definitely try to tell their friends about their successful experience. For self-affirmation, guys don’t necessarily have to share the details of their intimate life, because it’s enough for their peers around them to know what “he already had.”
Physiology
Unlike girls, deflowering of men is not accompanied by microtraumas. After the first sexual intercourse, a change in hormonal levels occurs, but the man does not experience discomfort (such as pain in the lower abdomen in girls).
How to overcome your fear of driving?
What should such a unfortunate driver do? To begin with, you should definitely understand and realize whether you really want to drive a car, or whether, at the subconscious level, you have an aversion to the very fact of driving. After all, the appearance of such a contradiction: “I want” (from the mind) and “I don’t want” (from the side) of the subconscious precisely leads to the fact that the psyche responds with a reaction of rejection, fear or stress.
Psychologists associate fear of driving with low self-esteem of the driver. Of course, as a person grows up, it becomes more and more difficult to change his vision of himself, but it is possible and necessary to increase self-esteem, regardless of age.
Tip 1: go the small lunch route. Your achievements, sometimes visible only to you, can create an overall positive mood and give you the opportunity to increase your self-esteem. Psychologists also advise smiling at yourself in the mirror more often and doing auto-training.
You should start working with your fear by admitting to yourself that there is fear, that it is specifically the fear of driving, and no other. After this, you can change your attitude towards the current situation and work on developing self-confidence.
Tip 2: When talking to yourself mentally, try to avoid using the negative particle “not.” Scientists are sure that our psyche does not perceive such a word, and then the seemingly negative phrase “I’m not afraid” becomes quite affirmative “I’m afraid.” Try to find correctly formulated guidelines for yourself. Perhaps, for your greater confidence, speak their ear, if you are shy, do it alone with yourself.
Tip 3: change the background of your thoughts from decadent-negative to positive and try to maintain it in this tone for as long as possible.
Tip 4: If you are afraid of a specific event, say a car accident, try using visualization. Mentally “stage” a dangerous moment on the road and imagine that you are acting clearly and correctly, skillfully getting out of the current situation. However, for “prevention”, it is better to visualize the moments of your confident and masterful driving, and it will become so later.
Tip 5: The visualization technique implemented directly in the “scenery” itself will also help you. That is, you can get behind the wheel of a car without turning on the gas, try to imagine yourself directly in the process of driving, see how you change the gearbox, pick up speed, and slow down at the right moment.
Tip 6: if it’s already really difficult and you can’t get rid of fear, ask one of the skilled drivers, one of your family or friends to accompany you while traveling by car. Perhaps the presence of an experienced person nearby will help you consolidate the skills acquired in a driving school, and words of approval will raise your self-esteem and breathe new strength into you. But you still shouldn’t get used to such an escort, because from now on you will need to rely solely on your own strength and skills.
Tip 7: try to change the angle of perception of yourself and learn to present yourself correctly. Even if you have just started learning to drive, talk about yourself not as an inexperienced driver, but as a driver gaining experience. Your own self-confidence will be transferred to the people around you, who, seeing such calmness, will begin to treat you with respect, regardless of your occasional mistakes.
Tip 8: Driving, even for an experienced driver, often causes stress. Unfortunately, there are enough stressors on our roads. Not giving in to stress is not an easy task, and may even be useless. But the ability to get out of such a nervous state as quickly as possible is a very real skill, which it is in your best interests to master. The main thing is to learn to listen to your experiences, and when the situation on the road has greatly strained your nerves, stop, if possible, calm down and continue on the train. After all, a psyche irritated by stress is a bad adviser and assistant.
Understanding a problem most often means almost solving it. Having understood the reason for your fear of driving, you will most likely find an adequate, exclusively acceptable recipe for eliminating this “enemy”. In certain cases, you may also benefit from qualified assistance from a skilled psychologist.
How to make your first time safe
To ensure that first sex becomes a step into the world of pleasure, and not an annoying experience that you want to quickly forget, you must follow basic safety rules.
Be sure to talk
Both partners must be ready for sex: both physiologically and psychologically. You definitely need to discuss your lack of experience, your expectations and fears. This is necessary so that partners trust each other and can relax during sexual intercourse. Any omissions will lead to the guy or girl being embarrassed and unable to have fun.
Comfortable location
First sex should take place where the couple can relax. It is necessary to organize an intimate atmosphere so that no one interferes with privacy. You can add romantic elements such as candles, soft music or flowers.
Take care of contraceptives and lubricants
You need to take care of additional lubrication and the availability of condoms in advance; all this can be bought at a regular pharmacy. If a couple cannot even discuss how they will protect themselves, it is probably too early for them to have intimacy. It is necessary to agree on who will buy the contraceptive and lubricant, and discuss in advance what exactly is suitable for the partner (we are talking about the size of condoms and the different effects of lubricants).
Agree on a safe word
The safe word is relevant for those couples who already have a regular sex life and want to try to diversify it with role-playing games or BDSM. For those who are about to get intimate for the first time, you just need to discuss how you can let your partner know if something goes wrong.
Don't start without foreplay
During foreplay, partners become excited and open up to each other, so it’s impossible to do without foreplay. Even if a man already has a fairly strong erection, he must make sure that the girl is also well aroused (this is important so that a sufficient amount of natural lubrication is released, facilitating the entrance of the penis into the vagina).
Don't lose eye contact
Constant eye contact is an important psychological moment. It helps partners feel each other's bodies better and open up sexually. It is most comfortable to maintain eye contact in the classic missionary position.
Simplicity and no imagination
It is better to try unusual sexual games and realize complex fantasies when the couple has already had repeated sexual contact and has more or less studied each other. The first sex is better to be classic vaginal, without complex elements. This way, partners will be able to fully open up to each other, which will contribute to the success of further sexual experiments.
How to prepare mentally for passing the driving test?
In fact, complete calm before the driving test can also play a cruel joke on you. Therefore, you should not rush into sedatives, drink buckets of valerian, etc., in order to calm down for sure.
A little excitement before the exam will keep you on your toes and help you mobilize.
It is worth considering an important psychological point in order to calm down. During classes at a driving school, the student feels more or less confident, thanks to the fact that there is always an instructor nearby who can always provide backup. The person who will help either with advice or in a crisis situation will take on the role of driver. Even if he is silently nearby, the student feels supported.
In a driving test situation, the roles change somewhat. Now the instructor is not a teacher helping and teaching, but an examiner together with a traffic police inspector. As a result, the student loses this sense of support and feels insecure. Therefore, it is not uncommon for students in driving schools who did excellent in their classes to fail the final test - the driving test.
The problem is that the state of success that existed before is associated not with personal experience, but with the support of the person nearby, when the student realizes that there is no more support, confidence is lost and fear comes. Don't give in to this fear.
Possible problems during first sex
Various problems and fears associated with first sex often worry both young men and girls. In order to relax and not think about them, you need to study the characteristics of your body in advance and be sure to discuss your fears with your partner.
Fast ejaculation
Having sexual intercourse too short is a common fear for many men. In fact, there is nothing unnatural about this, especially for those who are having sex for the first time. If a young man is very excited, then he can finish before the girl, and this should not be embarrassed. The main thing is to show attention to your partner and try to bring her to orgasm with additional caresses.
Lack of erection
Sometimes young men are let down by their penis during their first sex. This happens if a guy is too worried, so to get an erection back you need to try to relax. To solve the problem, you can distract yourself with some romantic gesture (for example, watch a movie with your girl or give her a massage) and increase the time of foreplay, and the excitement will come on its own.
Sex orgy: what is it and how does it work?
No fun
Not all girls orgasm their first time, and that's completely normal. The partner may finish earlier and even try to please with additional caresses, but if orgasm does not happen, then this should not be embarrassed. A girl just needs to pay more attention to studying her own body and understand what brings her more pleasant sensations.
Ridicule from a partner
For the first sex, you need to trust your partner, which means you shouldn’t expect ridicule or accusations of your inexperience from him. If there is no complete mutual understanding in the couple, then the time for intimacy has not yet come.
If someone in a couple is no longer a virgin, then he should know that his partner has no experience in sex. In such cases, support and attention from the beloved is very important, so that there is complete trust during the first intimate relationship.
Painful sensations
Many girls are afraid of pain during first sex. To reduce discomfort, you need to ensure a sufficient level of arousal (namely, do not skip foreplay), and also use a lubricant (additional lubricant, you can buy it at the pharmacy).
The girl should tell her partner about her fear so that he can be careful and not make sudden movements.
Psychological problems
In order for sex to be enjoyable, a person must be in harmony with his body. If you have any problems with accepting yourself, you need to consult a psychologist and eliminate them before your first sex. If this is not done, then after sex a person may feel sad, depressed and unwilling to repeat this experience in the near future.
How to have sex for the first time: tips for guys
Guys worry no less than girls before having sex for the first time. Therefore, you need to pull yourself together and be confident in your sexual power. To begin with, you should relax. A glass of champagne or wine will help with this. Just don’t overdo it with drinking, otherwise your first night together will turn into a complete nightmare. Next, invite the lady of your heart to a slow dance and start kissing her, gently stroking her neck, and then slowly begin to undress her.
Read: Female erogenous zones. How to excite your beloved
Once you find yourself in bed, don’t forget about caresses. After all, they are the ones who will help a woman tune in to intimacy, as well as feel tenderness and trust in her partner. Caress her neck, chest, stomach, and then go lower to the genitals and start massaging them. This will help arouse the girl: her vagina becomes wet, which will help the penis penetrate inside faster and easier.
Once you have warmed up your partner sufficiently, place her on her back and carefully place the condom on your penis. During sex, you need to move slowly and as carefully as possible so as not to hurt your partner. Most likely, your first sex will not go as you expected. But this is only the first experience. Next will be even more interesting and better.
Common Mistakes
Inexperienced partners may make several common mistakes during their first sexual encounter that will hinder their enjoyment.
Excessive sharpness
All movements of a man during the first sexual intercourse should be smooth and careful. It must be remembered that a virgin’s vagina is not used to accepting bulky objects, so it will expand gradually. Sudden movements can cause injury to the mucous membrane, which can overshadow the impressions of the first experience.
Deep penetration
Excessively strong penetration of the penis into the vagina during the first sex can cause discomfort in the girl. It is necessary to proceed carefully and move gradually. If pain occurs, then you need to reduce the rate and depth of penetration of the penis into the vagina.
Stiffness of partners
Some stiffness may occur during the first sexual contact; this is absolutely natural. However, partners should not close themselves off from each other and do something for which they are not ready. It is better to discuss all possible fears in advance, and during sex try to get pleasure and also give it to your partner.
Lack of protection
One of the most common mistakes during first sex is lack of protection. The hymen, interrupted coitus or douching do not protect against pregnancy or various diseases. Suitable protection for first sex is a condom, which will not only eliminate the possibility of conception by 99%, but will also protect against possible diseases of the reproductive system and an aggressive reaction of the mucous membrane to the microflora of the partner.
Alcohol
Drinking a glass of wine to relax is a good idea. But you shouldn’t drink too much before your first sex. This will cloud the mind, which can lead to rash actions, and can also prevent the emergence of arousal in both the man and the girl.
No break
Those girls who received microtraumas during their first sex will need to take a break before their next intimate encounter. It is advisable that at least 5-7 days pass for the mucous membrane to recover and be physiologically ready for new contact.
How to avoid mistakes: top 5__5
If all the stars have aligned and both are ready for dizzying sex, then, perhaps, it’s too late to think about whether the torso is sculpted enough, whether the breasts look seductive and the lace underwear is beautiful enough. The main condition is a mutual passionate desire to be in the same bed; without it, sex with a new partner will not happen 100%.
Dispelling myths about first sexual intercourse
Unfortunately, teenagers often fall victim to misinformation - common myths that prevent them from building harmonious sexual relationships with their partners. Such myths include:
- “If a girl remains a virgin for too long, then after a certain age she will be haunted by headaches.” This is a false fact - headaches have nothing to do with whether a woman has sex life or not.
- “The first experience determines further sexual temperament.” After the first time, people experience certain emotions that can affect their behavior and attitude towards sex. However, this does not mean that this experience will haunt them all their lives - everything can be corrected with the help of a psychologist and harmonious relationships.
- “Women always break their hymen during first sex.” This is a common myth, because not all girls have this film inside the vagina. For some, it may be elastic and stretch away from the penis, but not tear. Also, blood may appear not during sex, but several hours after it, or even during the next time.
The concept of golden shower in sex, its varieties and rules
Before having sex for the first time, a teenager should familiarize himself with the characteristics of his body and read about his physiology, as well as how the body of the opposite sex works. Then common myths will not prevent you from having a successful first experience.
Change your attitude towards the situation
When the previous point doesn’t work and you’re still worried, try to change your attitude towards the situation. Think ahead about how to solve the problem if your fears suddenly come true. Although the test can affect the quarter mark, it can be easily corrected in the next quarter. The exam result affects either the passing grade or the student's scholarship. The solution could be this: rely on CT (if you are a student) or find a part-time job (if you are a student). No less exciting moments related to work or personal life await you ahead. Therefore, take care of your nerves and learn self-control.
We recommend reading Dale Carnegie’s book “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”
Opinion of sexologists and psychologists
All sexologists and psychologists agree that it is worth losing your virginity when a person is internally ready for it. If you are unsure of your desires or your partner, then there is no need to rush, you can wait for a more favorable time.
You shouldn't have sex because others are doing it or because "it's time." Everything should happen on time, and not under the pressure of public opinion. Don’t be afraid to express your desires (or lack thereof), because each person is individual and can reach maturity for first sex at different ages.
Be positive
To make it easier to survive “day X”, think about it not as something terrible. If your feelings fail you, use logic: “I was preparing for a test (exam), what should I be afraid of?” or “I was worried last time, but everything went well, why be upset in vain?” Go to a test or exam thinking that you will succeed. However, be prepared for unforeseen circumstances. After all, things don't always go according to plan.
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Advice from experts
Professional psychologists believe that sexual education is very important for young people. If they have enough information, they will be able to avoid mistakes and learn to receive and give pleasure from the very first sexual contact.
Guy
For guys, sex is a responsibility. They must take into account that their actions directly determine whether their partner will experience discomfort and pain. It is also necessary to always remember about protection and not to commit rash acts: due to insufficient contraception, unwanted children appear for which the couple is not ready.
To the girl
Before their first time, girls should understand that there is nothing immoral or sinful in sex. This is a natural interaction between people of the opposite sex that brings pleasure to both. And to avoid consequences such as unplanned pregnancy or genital diseases, you must always use reliable contraception.
How to pass city driving on the first try
The third, most practical part is driving on city streets. Here you will need to show your skills in driving a car on the road, with real traffic of other cars, pedestrians, signs and traffic lights.
Those who have passed the “theory” and the circuit are allowed to take part in this part of the exam.
On the third part - driving around the city - you need to drive along the streets in compliance with all traffic rules
City exam procedure
An inspector sits in the car (in the passenger seat next to the driver) and 4 cadets, one behind the wheel, the rest in the back. First, one person drives the car, then everyone takes turns changing.
The task is to drive around the city in compliance with all traffic rules, the requirements of signs and traffic lights, as well as the instructions of the traffic police inspector. The time for checking is 15-20 minutes (sometimes in practice it is even less).
11 tips to help you pass your driving test on the first try
- Before you start driving, you need to adjust the seat (closer, farther, tilt angle), mirrors (side and in the cabin) to suit you.
- Buckle up before you set off. Ask the inspector to do the same (or at least make sure his belt is fastened)
- Turn on low beam
- Remove the car from the handbrake
- Make sure there are no approaching cars from behind
And only after all these procedures start moving! This may seem like too much, but all this is really necessary both for passing the exam the first time and for successfully driving a car in the future.
- Drive the car smoothly, without jerking. This applies to both steering wheel turns and gas and brake pedals.
- Turn your head when driving to intersections (the inspector should see that you are truly convinced of traffic safety). The same applies to monitoring the rear view mirrors.
- Follow the inspector's instructions
- Avoid accidents and dangerous situations
- Don't use your phone (or better yet, don't even turn it on!)
- Follow signs and traffic lights
Again, advice from practice: try to pass the driving test among the first for three reasons: there is less traffic on the road (and therefore easier), the inspector is not tired (which can easily change after lunch or several nervous situations on the road), you will have less time worry (which means you will twitch less while driving).
It is worth remembering that now the inspector can calculate penalty points for each mistake:
- significant errors = 5 points
- average = 3 points
- minor = 1 point
As soon as a cadet receives 5 penalty points, this part of the exam is considered failed. This means that it is absolutely impossible to make gross mistakes, and there can only be one average one.
To feel better about the practical part, make sure you are well prepared during your driving school lessons. And you feel confident behind the wheel.
What to do if an inspector asks you to break the rules
There are situations when a traffic police inspector is asked to stop where there is a “stop prohibited” sign or turn where “turn is prohibited.” What to do in this case?
If you are faced with such a situation, there is no need to immediately do what you are asked to do. Approach, as they say, head on. Assess the situation, understand whether it is possible to do what you were told.
If, indeed, the inspector’s requirement can only be fulfilled in violation of traffic rules (which will immediately mean failure to pass the exam), it is worth saying “You cannot stop (turn) here because of the sign.” And offer to fulfill the requirement further, where the effect of the sign will end.
Your confidence significantly increases your chances of passing your license on the first try. And confidence comes from knowledge and the ability to control oneself.
Answers to frequently asked questions
Lack of knowledge about sex often leads to problems. If people do not know the peculiarities of their own physiology, then they will not be able to make love safely. Below are answers to frequently asked questions about sex: you should familiarize yourself with them so that during and after the first sex the couple has no reason to worry.
Can't a girl get pregnant during her first sex?
Maybe this doesn’t happen so rarely anymore. It makes absolutely no difference to the uterus and sperm what time a girl has sex - they can and will perform their reproductive function, so you should always use contraceptives.
If a girl doesn't have an orgasm, then she can't get pregnant?
Pleasure during sex and the process of conceiving a child are in no way connected. A girl can become pregnant even if she has not had an orgasm - it is enough that the man ejaculated when the couple did not use contraception.
If a girl pees after sex, will she not get pregnant?
The only way to avoid pregnancy is to use contraceptives. The process of urination will not in any way prevent sperm from entering the uterus, so be sure to use protection during sex.
If a girl takes a shower and washes herself well after sex, will she not get pregnant?
Sperm penetrate the uterus deep into the vagina, where no shower can reach. Water procedures will not help avoid pregnancy, but contraceptives will.
If you have sex on non-dangerous days or during menstruation, will the girl not get pregnant?
There are no dangerous or non-dangerous days. Depending on your cycle, there are periods of increased or decreased chance of getting pregnant, but a healthy body can perform its reproductive function on any day.
If a guy doesn't cum inside a girl, won't she get pregnant?
This method of protection even has its own name – coitus interruptus (COI). It is not reliable and often leads to unplanned pregnancy because sperm may be released from the penis before ejaculation. A reliable method of protection is the use of condoms or oral contraceptives (prescribed by a doctor).
Is it possible to continue sex if a girl has an orgasm faster than a guy?
Yes, but only if the girl herself does not experience discomfort from this.
After orgasm, women's natural lubrication ceases, so additional lubricant may be required. The first sexual experience is not always the way a guy or girl imagines it. However, this does not mean failure at all: if something went wrong or did not meet expectations, you need to talk about it. All dubious issues should be discussed gently so as not to hurt your partner’s feelings. If a couple has a trusting relationship, and the partners know how to listen and hear each other, then over time they will learn to do everything for mutual pleasure.
To the head
As a rule, a newcomer to an organization faces a large number of difficulties, the bulk of which are generated precisely by the lack of information about the work procedure, location, and characteristics of colleagues.
A special procedure for introducing a new employee into an organization can help alleviate a large number of problems that arise at the beginning of work, which will ultimately give positive results in the form of increased productivity of the new employee and an improvement in the psycho-emotional state of the team as a whole. Because, as studies show, up to 90% of those who quit their jobs within a year made this decision on their first day of work.
The adaptation process is a two-way process. On the one hand, behind the fact that a person started working in a company is his conscious choice, based on a certain motivation for the decision made, and responsibility for this decision. On the other hand, an organization assumes certain obligations by hiring an employee to perform a specific job.
The process of adapting an employee to a team can be divided into four stages.
The first stage is assessing the beginner’s level of preparedness. It is necessary to develop an adaptation program. If an employee has experience working in the relevant structural units, the adaptation period will be minimal. However, since the organizational structure depends on a number of parameters, the newcomer inevitably finds himself in an unfamiliar situation. Adaptation should include familiarization with staff, communication features, and rules of conduct.
The second stage is orientation. This stage involves practical acquaintance of the new employee with his responsibilities and the requirements that are imposed on him by the organization. Typically, an orientation program will include a series of short lectures and tours that will cover organizational policies, pay, fringe benefits, safety, economic factors, procedures, rules, regulations, reporting forms, job duties and responsibilities.
The third stage is effective adaptation. It consists of the newcomer’s adaptation to his status and is largely determined by his inclusion in interpersonal relationships with colleagues. As part of this stage, it is necessary to give the newcomer the opportunity to actively act in various areas, testing on himself the acquired knowledge about the organization.
The fourth stage is functioning. This stage completes the adaptation process; it is characterized by the gradual overcoming of production and interpersonal problems and the transition to stable work. With the spontaneous development of the adaptation process, this stage occurs after 1-1.5 years of work. If the process is regulated, the stage may occur in a few months.
Reducing the adaptation period can bring significant financial benefits, especially if the organization involves a large number of personnel.
Traditionally, the adaptation program has three main areas.
