Treason - what it is, the most common types and areas of definition

• November 1, 2019
• Psychology of relationships
• Anna Mallaalieva

Unfortunately, betrayals, the types of which are described in the article, are now too common. Even in families where partners love and understand each other, unpleasant situations still happen. We tend to think of sex as cheating, but in reality there are several types. Let's look at what they are and why this happens.

What types of betrayal are there?

Nowadays, cheating includes not only physical but also emotional aspects. A strong platonic friendship for the other person may begin, which will sometimes go beyond the boundaries of ordinary friendship. This type of cheating is becoming more common. According to statistics, about 45% of men and 35% of women admitted that they had some kind of emotional contact with someone other than their partner.

Emotional cheating

In general, cheating can be defined as the act of being emotionally or sexually unfaithful to your partner with whom you have a close relationship. Having close physical or emotional contact with another person is usually considered cheating.

Physical betrayal

Physical infidelity is defined as one person in a relationship having sexual intercourse with someone else. Typically, physical cheating also covers simple physical acts of intimacy such as holding hands and kissing.

Spiritual betrayal

Just because you're not intimate with someone other than your partner doesn't mean you're not cheating on him. If your thoughts constantly return to your secret lover, you want to see him, long to meet him by chance in a cafe or on the street, dream of kissing him, spend a lot of time with him (albeit without close contact) and love him secretly from everyone - you change spiritually.

Concept

What is cheating in a relationship? To begin with, it is worth defining the concept of treason.

There are two people who are dating or living together .

In the process of close contact, they have certain obligations among themselves.

If these obligations are violated, then we can already assume the presence of betrayal.

Treason, meanwhile, can be physical and moral.

• physical &ndash, intimate relationship, kissing with another person,
• moral – a connection in which emotions are also involved.

Treason can have either one of the options or combine both.

When defining treason, one should also be guided by the norm of what is permissible. For some, simple correspondence on social networks, flirting with the opposite sex is already a betrayal, another person will consider that physical contact without love is acceptable and is not considered a full-fledged betrayal.

There are couples who, due to their own convictions, allow relationships on the side and do not consider this something offensive.

In a toxic relationship , as a rule, one person loves and is emotionally dependent on a partner, the other takes liberties on the side, without considering such behavior to be wrong or immoral.

The internal contradiction between one’s own attitudes and actions is of great importance.

What for one person will be a betrayal, for another – just harmless entertainment , diversifying their personal life.

Why do we look for our other half and decide to cheat:

Cheating wife

Men, for the most part, are most concerned about the physical relationship between their lover and her lover. Men tend to be more sensitive to physical deception and are less likely to forgive their partner for having sex with another person. This happens because a woman will not go to bed with the first person she meets. As a rule, this will be preceded by a deep emotional connection. But men are less likely to view some of the more emotional behaviors as problematic. For example, if a girl spends a lot of time with another person.

Signs

Most women can understand when a man begins to cheat. This is not due to a sixth sense or anything like that, but rather to the fact that ladies are more likely to notice changes in their partner's behavior. But what should those who cannot understand whether their soulmate has someone else do?

Not all people are able to lead a dual lifestyle. That's why most cheaters give themselves away right away. They become too secretive and don’t want to talk much. At the same time, a person becomes picky about his appearance. For example, he spends more time in front of the mirror, buys himself new perfume, or updates his hairstyle.

Above we described what kinds of betrayals there are. Among them there is also a physical one, so you need to pay attention to sexual relationships. If your partner suddenly stops wanting them, then you need to think about it. Due to the fact that a person gets the necessary sensations in other relationships, he is no longer interested in spending time with you like that.

Also be careful with your phone. He can call constantly. Or the partner may begin to hide it. If this happens, try to check your suspicions. Perhaps you will stumble upon correspondence or even photos.

If you live together, then notice when and how late your partner is from work. The person will be uninterested in spending time with you, talking with you, so you will see him at home quite rarely. Finance is also one of the ways to understand that they are cheating on you. For example, if a partner begins to bring in a smaller portion of the salary, then there is a possibility of betrayal.

If you are cheated on spiritually, then your significant other will constantly swear at you, find flaws in you, notice some little things and generally treat you rudely.

All these signs indicate cheating only if they occur together. One or two points will not prove 100% that your partner is having an affair. If you have any suspicions, talk to him. Can't make up your mind? Then try to surround your chosen one with love and affection to the maximum.

Drunken betrayal

Cheating is deception, drunk or sober. However, drunken deception and sober deception carry different meanings.

On the one hand, dating while sober means that your partner has made a conscious decision to be with someone else. In contrast, cheating while drunk may be the result of the subconscious escaping.

Perhaps the cheater has not yet admitted to himself or the other that he or she no longer wants to be in the relationship.

Infidelity is catalyzed by numerous factors in a relationship. Both unhappiness and emptiness are at the forefront of this human mystery.

It's so easy to lose track of each other at the beginning of a relationship because everything is so new and fresh.

However, the real problem comes after two people have been together for a long time. Keeping the "spark" alive is essential to maintaining interest in each other. Whether you're dressing a little sexier for dinner or doing a spontaneous slow dance in the kitchen, sparkle is everything in a relationship.

Is treason...

In addition to kissing, there are other types of caresses that cause controversy. Should we consider them treason, or should we calmly perceive them as meaningless signs of attention and good attitude?

Oral sex

Surprisingly, there is often controversy surrounding this type of sex. Men who enjoy themselves do not consider it cheating - after all, they themselves do nothing. But for women who gave pleasure, such generosity is not forgiven. After a blowjob, husbands become disgusted with kissing their wives, they cannot forget about it and the marriage falls apart.

Women are not forgiven for THIS.

But what about the recipient of a blowjob - is it cheating or not? Ladies for whom the emotional fidelity of their spouse is more important do not see anything terrible in this. If a man simply enjoyed it, without personal participation, then he remained faithful. But still, most women attribute this to cheating, and they would be unpleasant to learn about such a situation.

Surprisingly, there are usually no serious debates about oral sex with women. This may be due to the fact that usually after this the couple moves on to regular sex. And this is definitely considered treason.

Petting

A special type of caress in which the couple remains clothed. It is especially common in a work environment, when a couple feels attracted, but does not dare to commit “real cheating.”

Do not forget that during such sexual games there are still hugs, kisses, touching, and in some cases partners rub their genitals against each other (through clothes). The goal of the process is satisfaction and sexual arousal, so these actions are still considered treason.

Dance

It all depends on the type of dance and the behavior of the partner. This topic has already been touched upon above, where 41% of people surveyed attributed cheeky dancing to cheating.

It is worth understanding that we are talking about:

• dancing that repeats sexual movements;
• slow dancing, when the couple stands too close and their hands are on their hips;
• frequent invitation to dance of the same person, although the other half is sitting nearby.

Get a room!

As for other types of dance, the answer is no. Sluggishness at a decent distance and stage performances cannot be called treason.

Masturbation

The relationship here is not clear:

1. Some partners believe that there is nothing wrong with their chosen one giving himself pleasure in this way.
2. Others begin to be overcome by doubts. If a partner resorts to masturbation, it means he is not satisfied with his sex life. And at the moment of self-satisfaction, he may think about someone else, which can already be attributed to emotional betrayal.

It is important to be able to talk even on such sensitive topics. After all, trust and understanding play a huge role in relationships. Everyone determines for themselves whether masturbation is cheating, but generally it is not considered betrayal.

Virtual flirting and sex

Statistical studies show that people mostly consider it cheating. After all, despite the virtuality of relationships, communication remains real. By sending ambiguous phrases, compliments and sexual remarks, a person shows his sympathy to the interlocutor. And if there is sympathy and interest in another person, we are talking about betrayal. Let it be emotional for now.

If he hides correspondence, it definitely means treason.

Virtual sex can be called a special alarm bell. By exchanging such intimate messages, and often photographs, the interlocutors cannot remain indifferent to each other. Especially if self-satisfaction occurs during the correspondence process.

In most cases, this behavior signals problems in the relationship: lack of attention, dissatisfaction in the sexual sphere, misunderstanding. It is important to talk openly about all the reasons so that you can solve them together. Because next time the betrayal may no longer be virtual.

Chat on the Internet

How to treat your partner’s virtual communication if there is no flirting or hints of sex? Most often, friendly communication with people from the Internet does not affect family life in any way. Communication with like-minded people on forums, chats, and sites of interest is useful, because they allow you to develop and learn something new on a topic of interest.

But the situation is completely different when it comes to personal correspondence with someone on social networks. One-on-one communication can be a wake-up call. This means that the partner does not receive enough attention and support in communicating with loved ones, and makes up for it on the Internet.

If a husband corresponds with another woman or a wife with a man, you should not immediately accuse him of cheating. Try to improve your relationship: find common interests, topics for conversation, spend more time together. Real communication is always more pleasant than virtual communication, so over time the correspondence itself will fade away.

Erotic massage

Classic erotic massage, although it appeals to sexual arousal, does not end with sexual intercourse. Its goal is to relax the whole body and receive pleasure from touch, including erogenous zones.

The man will be thoroughly pleased and relaxed.

It is usually carried out in special institutions. It takes place in several stages:

• a warm shower in the company of a masseuse;
• simple relaxing full body massage;
• delivering erotic pleasure using the body (arms, chest, stomach, etc.);
• shower after massage.

In decent establishments, sexual contact with a masseuse is not allowed, so there will be no physical intimacy. But mostly women are against some stranger in oil rubbing herself around her husband.

Embrace

Here, as with a kiss, there may be several options. The attitude and subtext with which hugs are given is important.

Friends or lovers?

1. If two naked bodies merge in an embrace while in bed, then the situation is interpreted unambiguously - betrayal.
2. If it's a long and drawn-out hug that gradually turns into petting, it's cheating.
3. If friends hug each other tightly after a long separation, this is a manifestation of a special relationship and friendly love, but not sexual attraction.

Some wives also pay attention to the man’s face. If he closes his eyes and inhales the scent of a friend’s hair, it means he’s not just a friend.

Flirting

Here it is important to understand for what purpose the partner is flirting. Maybe this is just part of a strategic plan to gain personal benefit (in business, at work, etc.). Some men and women communicate in this style all the time to increase their self-esteem. At the same time, they don’t even think about cheating.

But if flirting is aimed specifically at one person, then it’s no longer a matter of strategy. Whether this is considered cheating is up to you. But in general, nothing serious has happened yet, and sympathy for another person is not betrayal in the general sense of the word. But there are clearly problems in the relationship, so there will be an unpleasant conversation.

It is impossible to say definitively what is considered treason. Even the opinion of the majority cannot be considered as the absolute truth. At the beginning of a relationship, it is imperative to discuss all the nuances with your partner so that there are no discrepancies later. After all, in the end, only the opinion of you and your significant other matters.

Why do people cheat on their partners?

Many articles from different sources say that men and women cheat for the same reasons: they crave love.

M. Gary Neuman found that 92% of men say cheating does not involve sex. The reasons why men cheated on their spouses were often emotional, such as feeling disconnected or unappreciated by their spouse.

Most people think that people cheat because the sex has gone bad in the relationship or because they've fallen out of love with their partner, but most (not all) survey respondents on these sites reported that they still loved their partner but didn't feel particularly attached.

How does a woman's infidelity manifest itself?

According to most people who think whether betrayal is good or bad, the infidelity of one of the partners is a great sin. Not everyone can forgive betrayal. And there is an explanation for this.

Moreover, sometimes situations occur when not only men, but also women cheat. This happens due to the fact that the fair sex does not receive proper attention from their spouse or are categorically dissatisfied with their family life.

In certain cases, women cheat because they simply fall in love with another man, who surrounded them with the care and tenderness that was so lacking before. This also happens. Often, because of sudden love, even the strongest marriages are destroyed.

But how can a husband identify the signs of his wife’s infidelity? The psychology of the fair sex is designed in such a way that they can hide a relationship with another man from their permanent partner for a long time. However, the husband may feel that his wife is unfaithful to him. This manifests itself in the fact that a woman who cheats on her regular partner with another man simply moves away from him and becomes cold and insensitive towards her husband.

How to live happily after cheating without losing your vitality

You might not want to talk to your partner on Facebook, you might fantasize about scratching their car, or you might be having an affair of your own. In movies, when people learn to overcome a scam, their first action sometimes comes to naught. But that's actually not a very good first step.

Destructive action will not bring any benefit. On the contrary, it may even have financial consequences. Trying to cope with the situation keeps your anger alive and keeps you in a state of negativity that will prevent you from moving forward in your life. This will keep you stuck and prevent you from healing. To recover from infidelity, you need to try to be on the same team, not the opposing team. Balance will give the vindictive partner an instant feeling of satisfaction. But in the end, this will not lead you to any solution, but will only complicate the situation. Beware of these subtle signs that your partner is cheating on you.

After a breakup, it's normal to cry (two or three times). And when a breakup follows a long-term relationship, expect it to take time to recover. Understand that this situation will not define you. Your life is not over yet. Lingering in your apartment, eating ice cream with the blinds closed, watching any random show streaming on your laptop, and showing no interest in answering your phone is a bad idea. While it can be scary to deal with this new reality and learn to overcome deception, think about the chance you have to start over. Yes, it may be a different life, but everything may turn out to be even better.

It's true that you probably didn't deserve to have someone cheat on you, but that doesn't mean you should wallow in self-pity. Playing the victim will make you feel helpless and damaged, and it will continue to make you feel bad. As a result, your self-esteem will decrease and you will find it difficult to participate in your life in a meaningful way.

How to forgive and survive betrayal

If things are still going on and you are pretending to be working on your relationship, just take your partner's heart in your hands and squeeze it. It will hurt a lot less and it will cause less damage to your relationship. If the matter is truly over, the one who suffered will need constant confirmation of this for some time. Probably for a long time. This is why, for someone who has had an affair, the privacy that existed before it (text messages, phone calls, messages, emails, information about where you are, what you are doing and who you are doing it with) will disappear for a while .

Healing can only begin when the person who had the affair realizes what happened and expresses regret and remorse not only for the damage and pain the affair caused, but for starting the affair in the first place.

What's important is that there is a commitment to protect the relationship above all else and get the matter out of the way. Is there something in this relationship worth fighting for? Is there a chance for love and connection? Or will it someday be one of the convenient ways and means to achieve common goals, such as raising children. There are no right or wrong answers, but if one person is satisfied with a comfortable relationship and the other wants love and connection, healing will not happen. Most likely, these relationships will become fertile ground for loneliness, resentment and bitterness will remain. For a relationship to work, each person's needs must be compatible. They don't have to be the same, but they should be compatible.

How to approach the situation?

Psychologists advise not to take what happened seriously, because each person is individual. What seems unacceptable to some, others perceive as friendship. Therefore, it’s worth finding out everything, talking, and then drawing conclusions and deciding what to do. Even the most experienced psychologists cannot give an exact answer as to why this happens, but there are several most important factors:

• The love of independence is ingrained from childhood, so the fear of losing freedom takes precedence over common sense and thus forces one to show who is in charge.
• Career problems and low self-esteem lead to self-doubt. It is important for such people to constantly feel self-love. It is not surprising that their shortage is sought outside.

In order for a man not to doubt his importance, he needs to show his wisdom. Create the illusion of what he is missing.

The most important thing is not to lose faith in love and loyalty! Remember that everything depends on you. As long as you sincerely want to save your family and sincerely love, it will exist.

What types of punishment for treason exist in different countries of the world?

Today there are many tribes in Mali whose laws differ greatly from each other. For example, in the Dogon tribe it is customary to cheat, but not with the husband’s relatives.

In Switzerland, an adulterer cannot register a new marriage for three years.

In Turkey, since 1996, not only women, but also men have been punished for betrayal. They are punishable by imprisonment for a term of not more than five years.

In Iran there is a law according to which a woman who commits treason can be killed. And this can be done not only by her husband, but also by his male relatives.

In Indonesia, you can be jailed for up to 15 years for adultery.

Papua New Guinea has the worst sanctions against unfaithful men and women. A man can even behead his wife's lover. The woman is not killed, but her finger is cut off, which her lover must eat.

In China, both women and men are punished for betrayal. According to local laws, adultery is punishable by two years' imprisonment and confiscation of half of the property.

In Vietnam, a law was introduced in 2013, according to which an unfaithful spouse pays a fine of 1 to 3 million VND.

Most countries have abandoned too harsh punishment for treason. In medieval Rus', the court punished treason with death.

In some African tribes, the wife's uterus is necessarily cut out.

Psychology

The psychology of female and male infidelity is fundamentally different.

Women and men cheat differently. This is due to their psychology, reaction to stress, cultural traditions, and upbringing.

Loyalty, as an internal quality, a human attitude, should be instilled by parents from childhood.

Cultural characteristics are such that infidelity by the stronger sex is treated more tolerantly . Even the upbringing itself, the example of the parents, develops in the boy the idea that having an affair, having a mistress, is acceptable.

As a result, men are tolerant and condescending towards their own infidelities.

For many representatives of the stronger sex, going left is, first of all, to satisfy physical needs and prove their worth and women’s interest in him.

Having sex on the side, the husband may not experience any emotions at all.

After this, he returns to his wife, whom he loves and appreciates as a companion and mother of his children. Feelings of guilt may arise at the beginning, when going to the left has not yet become something habitual.

In the future, moral standards and feelings of conscience are erased. Convicted of betrayal, a man can promise that he will break up with his mistress and will no longer look for outside connections. For some time this may indeed be the case. But nature and habit take their toll .

With women the situation is different. Emotions come to the fore, and only then the satisfaction of the physical need for contact.

Sex on the side of a man is often not even considered cheating. However, if his partner or spouse has an intimate relationship with another, this is perceived as a betrayal.

Here, a sense of ownership and the opinion that has developed in the process of evolution is manifested that a woman should remain faithful no matter what.

How to find out if your unfaithful partner is cheating

You can find out if your boyfriend, husband, girlfriend or wife is cheating on you by certain signs.

Keep in mind that none of these prove infidelity, but they can be a strong indicator that they are cheating on you:

1. He trusts you less: Your partner may trust someone else more, so they talk less and less about personal topics. He may also seem emotionally unavailable to you more often than before;
2. He begins to pick up new hobbies at random: if they suddenly develop new interests and hobbies, it may be due to the influence of someone else. This can be especially telling if your crush begins to do uncharacteristic things that they previously said they would never do;
3. He cares more about his appearance: While looking and dressing well are positive things, it could be a sign of cheating if your partner suddenly decides to start obsessing over his appearance. This is especially noticeable if you've been together for a long time and your partner suddenly begins to care more about their appearance.
4. It constantly monitors your location: If your partner constantly asks you where you are when you get home from work, this could be a clue that your partner is seeing someone else while you are away.
5. He always goes outside: In addition to spending less time with you, he also goes outside constantly. If he always acted like this, it doesn't really matter. However, if this behavior just started out of nowhere, it could be a sign that he is spending time with someone else.

All of these signs can signal cheating.

What does it mean?

If a husband cheats on his wife or a wife cheats on her husband, what could this mean?

In marriage, the norm is to remain faithful to your partner, even despite the circumstances that provoke an affair on the side.

If one of the partners decides to have an affair on the side, it means there are problems in the family.

Reasons for family betrayal:

• partner does not satisfy physically,
• lacking emotions
• family life seems boring, monotonous,
• partner "tired"
• the spouse shows indifference,
• there have been no unifying factors in the family for a long time; in fact, the relationship is at the stage of discord,
• the inner “nature” of a person, which allows him to have connections on the side with ease and without pangs of conscience.

If cheating is discovered in a marriage, this is a reason to pay attention to how harmonious the relationship is and whether the partners are comfortable with each other sexually and emotionally.

The best way to find out the reason is to talk.

How to forget betrayal quickly and forever

Once you come to the conclusion that the person you love has deceived you, you will no doubt have a lot of thoughts. Who was that? Why would they do that? Does he still love me? Do I still love him? What to do next? Of course, every person and relationship is different - it's up to you to decide whether you want to get back someone who hurt you - but if you decide to end it and want to know how to deal with someone who cheated on you, you won't alone in their impulses.

Once you have made the decision to break up, the next step continues. I won't lie to you: leaving someone who cheated on you may not be easy, but it is necessary. At some points in this process, you may be tempted to get your ex back just to avoid the pain of the relationship ending. But with the right attitude and a lot of patience, you will come out of this difficult situation much stronger than you were before. So, the easiest way to forget betrayal is through separation. But how to do it even easier:

1. Don't blame yourself. Few things can undermine someone's confidence like infidelity. Some people who have been cheated on end up feeling that their partner's infidelity was due to their own imperfection. Cheating is often a reflection of poor communication on the part of the partner who betrayed. It's completely fair to feel dissatisfied in a relationship, but at the end of the day, it's up to the person who is dissatisfied to convey those feelings to their significant other. Nobody reads minds. If they communicated and things didn't improve from their point of view, they could end the relationship cleanly instead of cheating;
2. Cut ties. It's better to have no contact with your ex for a while. Make it a clear intention not to see your ex for at least 90 days. Doing this will send them the message that it is indeed over and will give you time to grieve and lick your wounds. Unfollowing them on social media can help maintain a safe distance between you both for as long as they deem necessary. This is a difficult step that many struggle to stick to, but it can make the healing process much smoother, Dr. Brown said;
3. Give yourself time to grieve. Cutting someone out of your life is difficult. You just can't erase some things, like the park where you had your first kiss or the way their eyes sparkled in the sun. That's why you have to grieve a little for the loss of someone you thought you knew. Don't expect to overcome pain overnight. Forgiveness and grief are similar in that there are stages and you can move from denial to depression when new information comes up or hurts. So, no matter how long it takes, treating yourself with patience and kindness is key;
4. Let go when it's time to let go. The grieving period can vary greatly depending on the person, the length of the relationship, and the details of the infidelity. Ideally, over time, the pain will subside and you'll be able to forgive your ex—maybe not completely, but enough that you'll look back on them with some semblance of peace about how things ended. Forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean staying together. If you're still wondering whether you should stay with a partner who cheated, your intuition will tell you what to do.

The main thing is to think that everything will work out and then you will be able to survive this tragedy.

Is it worth forgiving?

Any type of adultery is a manifestation of weakness.

This fact will forever sow the seed of mistrust between you.

A person who betrayed once can do it again. This thought will come to you from time to time. Can you live with this? And do you need a spouse you can’t rely on? It happens that after betrayal comes repentance, a desire to return everything. If the love has not faded away, and both have a desire to reconcile, it’s worth a try. Experienced psychologists can help you cope with this situation.

However, spiritual betrayal is the most terrible betrayal. If a person fell in love with someone other than you, the only right decision would be divorce. How can you live next to someone who imagines someone else in their thoughts? Live for your family? Children? Run without looking back. If you stay, you will feel a sense of betrayal throughout your life, you will feel pain every day when you look at your spouse. Children will grow up under terrible stress, and then they will certainly repeat this experience in their personal lives. Spiritual betrayal can ruin your entire life. Is this what you wanted for your children?

Having overcome yourself, you need to move on. Only by letting go of the situation will you be able to forget what moral betrayal is. You will learn to live without it. As soon as this happens, your life will be filled with meaning, your soul will be healed. Soon you will find your soul mate, with whom you can forget about betrayal forever.

Summarizing

Cheating is a common problem in many relationships. When one partner discovers the other is cheating, there is heartbreaking emotional suffering. Unfortunately, cheating can't always be simply defined as having sex with someone outside of your relationship. Betrayal comes in many shapes and forms, but they are all equally emotionally destructive. Cheating always hurts, but you can recover from it. Talk to your other half more, discuss the fine points of your relationship - and you will be happy.

Reasons for divorce

• abuse of alcohol or drugs by spouses or someone individually;
• unresolved housing issue;
• mutual guilt for various reasons (alcohol, boredom, quarrel, little communication, momentary weakness);
• modern women have become more independent and confident in life and are not afraid of losing their spouse because of their infidelity. Signs that a woman has someone: she becomes rude at home, quick-tempered, uncontrollable, irritable, she begins to stay late at work, and often meets with “girlfriends”;
• other women, over time, under the pressure of existence, stop taking special care of themselves, their sexuality is lost, they stop lighting up a man, charming and exciting him, they begin to resemble a book they have read. But you must always be different, mysterious, unpredictable, exciting and sexy;
• interference of relatives in the couple’s family relationships;
• Internet addiction, social networks;
• I have some fantasies and dreams and wrong thoughts in my head: everyone is cheating, why don’t I cheat;
• a person escapes from accumulated problems that he is not going to solve;
• incompatibility of characters, intransigence, unsatisfied needs for understanding, there is no feeling of a kindred spirit and harmony, the impossibility of establishing trusting relationships, people exist on different wavelengths, there are no common interests, mutual understanding and frequent quarrels;
• At home you don’t feel attention or respect, life has become gray and monotonous;
• early, forced, ill-considered marriage or, conversely, marriage at a late age;
• the person is not mature enough for serious family relationships;
• the marriage was accidental and there was no love, fell into the trap of false feelings, into the trap of sexual addiction;
• a marriage that was committed as a sign of revenge on another person;
• sexual dissatisfaction, differences in sexual temperament, and sex is one of the strong components of a happy marriage. The wife often refuses sex, citing that she has a headache, and the husband puts forward the reason that he is very tired at work;
• civil marriages, people unsure of their feelings;
• feelings have changed, feelings have faded;
• an unplanned child or, conversely, the absence of children;
• arranged marriages;
• financial situation, poverty and uncertainty;
• long separations for various reasons (work specifics, imprisonment);
• due to health problems of one of the spouses;
• one of the spouses is building a career, all in business;
• groundless strong jealousy;
• infidelity of one of the spouses, animal instinct crushes human consciousness;
• nothing provokes husbands to cheat more than jealous wives.

Experts' opinion

And if one of the spouses nevertheless admitted to the other that he had cheated, should he be forgiven? It all depends on the specific situation.

Many psychologists believe that people need time to understand whether they need to forgive betrayal or not. Of course, if the unfaithful spouse realized everything and asked for forgiveness, then you can try to give him a chance. Although it is not a fact that this will not happen again.

What happens to a woman after her husband cheats? The psychology of behavior of a deceived wife manifests itself in such a way that she, as a rule, does not know what to do in the current situation. At first, the girl experiences pain and disappointment, and a reluctance to even see the cheater. But then everything goes away. And most women easily forgive their husbands’ betrayal and continue to live as if nothing had happened. It all depends on the specific situation.

If a man cheated and left for another, then should he be forgiven? Psychologists say that you need to try, but you don’t have to forgive your offender. Therefore, if the wife from whom her husband left cannot immediately forgive him, then there is no need to do this. It is possible that he simply does not deserve it.

But what to do in a situation where the husband first left for another woman, and then realized that he loved his wife and wanted to come back? Is it worth forgiving him, much less accepting him back? This is something every woman decides for herself. Spouses can seek help from a family psychologist. It is possible that the latter will help them find a way out of a difficult situation.

Adultery #1 - Physical

Let's call it "disposable". This is when your man, out of everyday boredom, or under the influence of wine fumes and the corresponding mood, “jumps” into someone else’s bed. After performing certain manipulations, he quickly jumps out of it, and just as quickly forgets not only about the “crime” committed, but also about the one who hospitably provided him with this very bed.

The object of male interest during such short-term, easy affairs can be a random fellow traveler in a train compartment. Or an acquaintance of an acquaintance, met at a work corporate party, where the legal half did not attend for some reason. Not a single man takes such a “race” seriously, but he feels a certain guilt after it. Therefore, as a rule, he will try to make amends with her with a gift, a romantic weekend, a joint visit or a stunning feat in the marital bed, thereby giving away his little secret.

Should you panic when you see a bouquet in your husband’s hands that was last given 10 years ago when he was discharged from the hospital? Most likely not, since the gift speaks eloquently of a feeling of guilt - a feeling, it must be said, that is very uncomfortable, which you would hardly want to experience on an ongoing basis, and, therefore, forcing you to refrain from such zigzags in the future.

Don't flog the fever

It should be noted that, like adultery, family well-being, as a rule, is not threatened either in a moral or material sense. Moreover, they are precisely that “healthy leftist who strengthens the marriage,” since comparisons of a legal wife with a one-time partner often turn out to be not in favor of the latter and emphasize the already forgotten advantages of the former. So, feel free to accept the gift brought and with a sense of your own superiority, fulfill your marital duty, not forgetting to enjoy it. If it becomes really offensive, then you will cry alone into your pillow.

There are indeed individuals who, due to their psychological or physiological characteristics, arrange this kind of excursions on an ongoing basis and at a certain point stop feeling guilty. It is useless to fight their addiction - “sexual alcoholism” cannot be treated. Here it’s up to you to decide whether you will eat from dishes that are used by everyone who is not too lazy, and you don’t even know whether they wash them after themselves, or whether you will buy your own, personal plate.