Lovely

Why does your partner get tired of the relationship?

When men enter into a relationship with a woman, they first of all see her as a sexual object. And this is right for them, initially. Because these individuals of the human race are designed in such a way that they choose the object of their passion according to the principle: I want to see her in my bed. And the first “bell” that a guy is cooling off towards a girl can be precisely her intractability in intimate matters or her complete refusal to have sex.

There are several more reasons for guys to cool off towards their chosen one:

He got used to his companion's actions. When a guy is not surprised by anything for a long time, does not expect anything special from his girlfriend, then boredom and disappointment set in;
He is not allowed to be himself in a relationship, an independent unit whose aspirations and needs are listened to. And the woman literally suppresses him;
He feels the need for a more passionate relationship, not content with the quiet and calm development of the current ones. Perhaps before that he had a girlfriend - a scandal, or a lady - a holiday, when communicating with whom he was in constant good shape and expecting miracles and surprises, albeit not always positive;
Lack of novelty. The very existence of people presupposes their spiral development towards improvement and acquisition of new knowledge and skills. Stagnation, cyclicality and boring constancy can gradually ruin a guy’s desire to continue such a relationship;
Lack of intimacy, lack of sex. This part of the couple's reciprocity has a special need for men. And if a girl, for various reasons, does not give the young male body a full-fledged and high-quality intimate relationship, then such a couple will not exist. It is worth understanding and remembering that a man can forgive his girlfriend for not preparing dinner or not ironing a towel, but not for periodic refusals of sexual intimacy. Nature has created our bodies in such a way that intimacy is a vital necessity for normal human functioning. High-quality, regular sex, in addition to mutual pleasure, is a powerful protection for the physical and psychological health of both men and women;
Differences in the expression of feelings. Men, unlike women, are more primitive and straightforward creatures. They are not inclined to guess and be tormented by doubts. Guys prefer frankness and do not like hints. In the notebooks of Ilf and Petrov there is the following phrase: “He did not know the nuances of the Russian language and, therefore, always told the woman: I want to see you naked.” This is how many men are built. And they don’t understand women’s grievances about direct and open proposals. This aspect must be taken into account before expecting cute words or a fluffy bunny from a brutal macho. Don’t “get” men and don’t change them;
He has realistic expectations for the future of your couple, and the girl has high expectations and expectations for her boyfriend. Some ladies behave like Alla Zakharovna from “Love and Doves,” accepting a simple man for communication, and then demanding from him the actions of a medieval knight. It doesn't happen that way. A miner will not return from work smelling of roses, and a dropout will not quote Kafka. And a man, discovering that he does not live up to his girlfriend’s expectations, will be surprised and then bored, due to his inconsistency;
He is not in love with his girlfriend. This is a couple that exists only due to circumstances, i.e. almost without feelings;
There is an assumption, which over time becomes less certain, that he no longer expects anything new from his companion, since she is uninteresting and rather predictable. Monotony and boredom are sad companions that often walk side by side.

The lack of age or moral readiness for a serious relationship should not be discounted.

Possible reasons

Regular quarrels can lead to fatigue in relationships
If a girl is tired of relationships or a guy is tired of meeting his soulmate, this was probably preceded by one of the factors listed below.

Frequent scandals and quarrels will definitely lead to the disappearance of any feelings. No matter how beautiful your partner is, no matter how much money he has, no matter how good you are together, the presence of quarrels is simply exhausting and leads to collapse. The reason for such scandals can be justified or groundless jealousy, selfishness, excessive suspiciousness and much more. It’s not uncommon for a man to be tired of a relationship because next to him is a hot-tempered, impulsive person who doesn’t mind throwing a tantrum.
Time. At the beginning of the relationship, you were overwhelmed by a storm of emotions, a strong feeling inspired you, you were flying with happiness. Over time, the euphoria passes, it is replaced by everyday life, passion cools down, feelings become dull, attachment develops, which develops into a regular habit. Everything is still good with this partner, but the relationship, like a burden, drags you down and tires you.
Violation of personal space - when there is too much of a significant other in your life, your partner can either be constantly nearby or bother you with his calls and SMS. For a healthy relationship, you need to give each other alone time. If you are forbidden to communicate with other people and are required to be constantly nearby, it is not surprising that you get tired of such relationships.
Having unjustified expectations. A situation where, before creating a relationship, some points were discussed that were never translated into reality.
Excessive control on the part of the other half. When one of the partners constantly monitors, checks the phone, and is jealous of everyone, this will certainly lead to fatigue in the relationship.
Differences in temperaments and characters.
Taking out your problems on your partner, constantly complaining about life. On the one hand, a person shares his experiences, on the other, he destroys his relationships. After all, in this way he abuses the attention of his loved one. Over time, the partner forms an association: my soulmate is a stream of negative information.

Characteristic signs

Fatigue is a natural reaction of the body. A person can get tired both from hard work and from rest. It's not surprising when people get tired of constant scandals in relationships, but they can also get tired of calm relationships in which everything is known in advance.

Let's look at what manifestations may indicate fatigue in a relationship.

Communication has become predictable, you have no common interests, you don’t like spending time together. In such a situation, you know in advance what to expect from your partner. There is no intrigue or mystery in a relationship, and this is boring and tiring.
Characterized by the presence of incessant quarrels that arise literally out of nowhere.
Lack of trusting relationships. When partners cannot tell each other how they really feel.
When one of the pair has progressed further than the other. So one person can develop himself, pump up his skills, while the second one stands still.

Love relationships bring happiness to people. If they only burden you, then there can be no talk of any love.

He gets excited when you try to find out more about his life.

He may have already started dating another woman behind your back. So when you're not paying attention, it's entirely possible to text some other girl and hope you remain ignorant. When you start asking questions, he gets furious.

Smooth and fresh skin: dermaplaning, or why a woman needs to shave her face

Rare shot: Viktoria Isakova showed her grown-up daughter from Yuri Moroz (new photo)

A Brazilian travels 36 km by bike every day to take his loved one home.

Admit your mistakes

I will not open America if I say that admitting your mistakes is hard. Always. Firstly, for this, you need to at least trust yourself. Secondly, have courage.

Yes, it takes courage and initiative to admit and tell your man that you were wrong. If it was really only you who was to blame.

If the noun “courage” still surprises you, perhaps you are one of those women who believes that only a man can (or worse, should) apologize and admit his mistakes. No, that's not true.

There is also a category of women who think that admitting a mistake is the same as bending over and putting a man on their neck.

This is nothing more than a myth. Everything will happen exactly the opposite: by admitting your mistakes and giving a man the opportunity to take the helm of your relationship, you will do better, first of all, for yourself as a woman.

He doesn't apologize

It is natural for any couple to argue, get angry, and worry about disagreements from time to time. But after the problem is resolved or the outburst of discontent subsides, it makes sense to ask for forgiveness. Before the end of a relationship, a man may refuse to apologize, even if he was wrong.

Why French children behave well: eight ways to raise them

The money tree pleases with lush flowering: my secret is in caring for the leaves

It’s good to wash often: myths about shampoo and hair care that only harm

Jealousy is an extreme

This moment might work. But I’ll say right away - this is dishonest, this is manipulation. You can get his attention back if you give him a reason to be jealous.

If you show that everything is fine without him and a new candidate for your hand and heart was already waiting for you around the corner when you parted ways.

BUT... Let's face it: if you're reading this now, you're falling asleep alone. There are many reasons for jealousy. The main thing is to think about the time and place.

You won't be happier and neither will he. If the man changes, the problems will remain, so I recommend working on your world map.

Picks on appearance

You have gained weight, lost weight, but everything will not be the same for your chosen one. You hear: “get plastic surgery,” but the whole truth is that your partner is tired of you and he doesn’t want a relationship with you.

Sign up for our psychological consultation (Moscow), in person or Zoom:

Psychological violence, recovery from abusers and narcissists, breaking up with an abuser, changing abusive behavior, self-esteem, the “no longer a victim” program, relationships, loss of meaning, nice (comfortable) person syndrome, age-related crises, existential problems, loneliness, relationships “adult children” – parents,” and more...

About us/Make an appointment

Ways to help

Even if moral exhaustion manifests itself in aggression that was not there before, do not rush to give up everything. Do not forget that you have been together for many years, and it is in your power to help him. If you notice signs of nervous exhaustion in the early stages of manifestation, then you can do without drug treatment.

Massage. It is not necessary to invite a professional. Any relaxing massage - neck, shoulders, fingers - will distract and calm you down. Light stroking will also have an effect.
Nutrition. During this period, you need to pay attention to the menu. Microelements and vitamins are an important element for nourishing neurons, so add as many fruits and vegetables to your diet as possible. Proteins and fats of vegetable origin will also be an integral part. Offer dairy products that contain bifidobacteria. Fish and seafood are also healthy.

4 common female rules in relationships that men most often resist

Timely rest. As simple as it may sound, starting to rest is a real challenge for a workaholic. Let it be through resistance on his part, but try to distract him from business and organize leisure time. In the fresh air, in the theater, in a restaurant - it doesn’t matter, the main thing is that he will be distracted and see your concern. The best option is a vacation.
Full sleep. Proper preparation for bed will help you get rid of insomnia without medication. Maintain good sleep hygiene: try to organize a routine so that the man goes to bed and wakes up at the same time. If possible, take a walk before bed. When you go to bed, turn off all gadgets. Talk only about the good things that happened during the day. Avoid discussing negative aspects before going to bed, turn the conversation in a positive direction.
Quitting alcohol. We definitely exclude the use of alcohol during the recovery period. A man may think that this will help him relax, forget, lift his spirits, and sleep well. But in reality, this will only worsen the disorder, and the consequences may be more serious. As if I wouldn’t have to be treated for alcoholism later.

I liked a married man, but I myself was in the role of a deceived wife: what to do, understanding the situation

Do not forget that it is always better to prevent a disease than to later get rid of the consequences. The person who is nearby, loved by you for a long time, even if his behavior at a given period of time is annoying, needs help. Your life will again find harmony and happiness if you put effort into it in time.

Remind me where it was good

Yes, for this you need to resume communication. And bring the conversation to the point that everything is not so bad. The two of you just need to make a choice in favor of a relationship. Moderate selfishness and pride and learn to find compromises.

Remember the moments in which you had fun together and use them as fuel and motivation for a second chance.

Unfulfilled communications are a separate story. Especially if everything was fine and you swore to love each other until the grave, were going to get married and have children with a dog, and then suddenly it all ended.

Few people think about WHICH woman these promises were made.

In love, soft, feminine, radiant - this is exactly what a woman of the candy-bouquet period looks like.

And then you moved in together. And you decided to order him where to sit, what and when to eat, who to meet, how many times to go to his mother and not put his feet on the table and what to do, because you know better.

Did you do this too? Confess in the comments.

Honey, if you just “cut him down”, the situation can be corrected. Show yourself from the other side. Love is a very important, but not the main point in your relationship with a man.

He promised to marry one, but in everyday life he saw a completely different woman. And it’s not surprising that he changed his mind.

Analyze your behavior. I guarantee that along with your condition, your relationship changed, you just didn’t notice.