How to break up with someone painlessly for both of you

How to break up with someone without crushing them

Some people might say that if you are the one who initiates the breakup, it is always easier for you. This is where most of us go wrong. On the contrary, many things can make you feel like a bad person, especially if you loved or still love the person you are about to break up with. That's why we decided to find out if there are safe ways to break up with someone. Unfortunately, there are none. However, there are a few tips you can follow to help ease the excruciating pain you may cause to someone you were involved with. Read on to find out more!

Last chance

The decision to break up never happens by accident. You have come a long way together and it has been full of joys and disappointments. You are connected by many wonderful moments. Don't forget this before you make your decision. Try to overcome the problems that arise as a team. Talk and discuss the situation more. He must understand how you feel. This will allow him to understand that the separation is not accidental.

What to do before breaking up

When you start thinking about should I break up with my boyfriend, then you need to come up with a plan. As cruel as it may sound, the better the plan, the easier it will all end between you. There are certain things you must do before the last day arrives. We've collected them all for you here.

Give your couple a chance

It should be noted that once you set yourself up to end the relationship, there is no turning back. Of course, the thought of breaking up with someone doesn’t come out of the blue. There must be something that triggers this idea. That's why, before you rush to break up, you need to talk to your partner. Who knows, maybe something you think is forever broken is still changeable and you shouldn't give up on your relationship. The key is that your partner should be aware of your problems, as they are part of the relationship too.

Choose the right place

It may often seem insignificant where you are going to do this, but it is important. The fact is that where and how to break up with someone who loves you depends on your closeness. Very often it is best to choose some kind of secluded place; if you do not live together, choose your own place. Once you are at his home, you can leave as soon as you see fit. While he will feel safer in the privacy of his home. However, if you know that the person is aggressive and may even be offensive, it is best to do this in a public place or even over the phone.

Think about logistics

There are many sides to a breakup. The biggest difficulties may arise if you live together and have some valuable things in common. That's why it's best to know in advance how you're going to divide your belongings, as well as where you're going to stay after that.

Be prepared for feelings on both sides

We've covered how to break up with someone you live with, what about someone you're attached to? The point is that even your decision does not mean that you will not begin to react emotionally. In most cases it is only natural and all you have to do is wait. It's normal to miss the person you shared your life with, but that doesn't mean your decision to break up was wrong.

Talk to a close friend

Not only is it important to figure out how to break up with someone you love, but it's also smart to have some kind of support group ready. If you have close friends whom you trust, it is best to tell them about your decision. No matter how the breakup goes, you'll almost certainly need someone to support you so you don't feel lost and alone.

What to consider during a breakup

The point is that there are things to consider during a breakup too. The more aware you are of them, the more it will help you in this process. Read on to find out more!

Be honest

When you are sure that you really want to end the relationship, you better do it quickly, as giving false hope will only hurt him twice as much. That's why you need to be honest and direct. Of course, there are reasons why you want to end them - tell him every reason so there aren't any unanswered questions.

Explain yourself

As already mentioned, you need to indicate the reasons that influenced your decision. It's best if you have a meaningful conversation with all the questions you've figured out. There's no point in making him wonder what went wrong and whether it was his fault or yours. No matter why you end them, you need to keep in mind that the person on the other side is the one who will suffer the most.

Be aware of your decision

The truth is that in many cases, your partner may try to manipulate you into changing your mind, and you should be prepared for this.

Begs to change your mind: You must keep in mind that no one should beg for love. When there are no feelings left, there is no point in trying to light a spark.

Angry: yes, such a reaction is also possible. If you see that anger is about to burst out, then it is best for you to distance yourself and offer to continue the conversation when it cools down.

It becomes sad: this is inevitable, and you may want to console him. However, it's best if you don't go overboard with him, as this may give him false hope, and that's not a good thing.

Promises to change: Well, change is good when you're still trying to save a relationship. At the stage when you are breaking up, such a proposal should not make you change your mind, since in most cases it is already too late.

How to overcome mental stress

First of all, give up endless self-analysis. You shouldn’t look for reasons or blame yourself for the breakup. Remember that a relationship lasts as long as both want it. No “one-goal game”.

Don't try to communicate with your ex. These attempts will not only look ridiculous and inappropriate, but will also make life more difficult for both. You can succumb to a moment of weakness - dial the number, hear the desired voice and calm down. And the person at the other end of the phone will be left alone with false hopes of getting you back.

The fewer reminders you have of past relationships, the faster you will be able to overcome stress and heal emotional wounds.

What to do next

Once you've learned how to break up with someone gracefully, you need to think about what to do afterwards. This is what we have to offer in this chapter.

Let your friends and family know

Even if you are the initiator, you will still be lonely, sad and isolated. This is why it is best to have your friends and family by your side during this phase. It's best if you tell them about the breakup as soon as possible.

Think about your physical and emotional health

The thing is, a breakup usually has a dark effect on everyone. That's why it's time to take care of your physical and emotional health. Fix your sleep, diet and exercise habits. Spend quality time with people close to you. Of course, you may need some time for yourself too. However, it is best if you avoid drugs, alcohol, casual sex, stalking your ex on social media, etc.

Social Media Plan

Social media is an important part and a big part of our lives these days. This is why you need to come up with a proper breakup plan regarding social media. You can agree with your partner on when to announce the news on your social media. Additionally, you can block or remove each other from your friend's list, etc. Removing photos of both of you from social media pages would also be smart, but you shouldn't delete them. It's best if you save them to some hard drive and don't look at them for a while.

How to deal with the second thought?

Of course, it's natural to miss your ex. However, if you feel like you've made the biggest mistake of your life, things get a little slippery. The point is, the best thing to do is consider what has changed since the breakup and talk to your partner. However, it's best to wait at least three months to see if the feeling goes away and then try to change things up.

Important points and mistakes of partners

Of course, crazy passion or complete dissolution in another person for a long time remains the standard of a relationship, a precious memory. You, willingly or unwillingly, compare subsequent episodes with this one, let it remain a pleasant souvenir in your memory. There is no need to expect repetition or to build new life scenery around this dominant.

To behave correctly when breaking up means to think about the feelings and consequences for your partner, because it turns out that you “abandoned” him or suggested ending the relationship. You will act nobly and correctly if you forget about yourself and your worries for a while and pay maximum attention to your partner. He must feel that this is not your whim, the circumstances are stronger.

You can:

express gratitude and appreciation for incomparable feelings;
remember all the interesting, pleasant moments;
articulate your amazing feelings;
share warmth, take care of each other’s condition;
wish you continued prosperity, good luck and happiness.

It is wrong to use general meaningless phrases like: “I feel very bad,” “you don’t understand me,” “everything is over between us.”

Undesirable:

reproach for previous grievances and disagreements;
demand change, set conditions;
shift the blame for the end of the relationship;
use confidential information against a partner.

Advice from a relationship expert

Here are some professional tips for you to get through a breakup smoothly.

Do not disappear!

Even if it was just one date, you have a responsibility to let the person know that you are not interested in spending time together. We all have feelings, and just because you're not interested doesn't mean he feels the same. A simple message can make a big difference.

To be honest

Things didn't work out between you and there's nothing you can do about it. What you can and should do is be honest and kind to your partner. In the end, no one knew how it would end.

Language of the body

It's not just what you say, but also how you say it:

First of all, talk face to face if possible.
Keep your body open; Don't cross your arms so your partner feels like the conversation is sincere.
Keep eye contact.
Don't use blaming language; what happens is both of your faults.
Tell him about what you have achieved together.
Let him speak and share his thoughts, feelings and views on the matter.
It's okay to hug one last time.

Social media

After you break up with someone, don't rush to share your feelings about it on your social media. Keep in mind that the other person may be deeply hurt and seeing such things may be painful for them.

If you're wondering how to break up with someone with the least amount of pain, you've come to the right place. We're not going to provide a step-by-step how-to guide, but we will point you in the right direction!

Tags: relationships, psychology

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When to say goodbye

When a woman has decided to break up, before announcing it out loud, she needs to say words like “I’m leaving you” to herself. It is recommended to live in this state for at least one, and preferably several weeks. It's worth taking a break in a relationship. This will help you make the most solid and, very important, correct decision. There are different types of separations: they are possible for couples in love who have only recently been together, as well as for spouses who have lived together for a long time. Situations are especially difficult when a couple has children.

When planning to break up with a man, a woman believes that she can find happiness without him. In her dreams, she is sure that somewhere in the world there is a person who will be ready to truly love her. Perhaps she could find someone who would be nearby at just the right time. This is a fairly stereotypical situation, and it’s not a fact that the new man will be better. Often the opposite is true. Without working through old problems, the lady will get bogged down in new squabbles and face the same problems in relationships, which can have an extremely negative impact on the psyche.

In what cases can you break up through correspondence?

The founder of the theory of complementary relationships, Jorge Bucay, is confident that there are a number of circumstances under which it is permissible to separate remotely:

Long distance relationships. If distance is an acceptable basis for the development of a relationship, it is also ideal for ending it. In the 21st century, the Internet helps people find and maintain connections, facilitating communication where it would be impossible to meet. When loving at a distance, lovers comprehend distance contact and learn to express feelings using letters. In this case, you can end the relationship with a sincere farewell letter.
Super toxic relationship. They can be potentially dangerous for the partner. Such relationships are characterized by the format of emotional and physical violence. To avoid an unpredictable reaction from your partner, it is better to put everything in place remotely. When the decision to leave is made, the Internet will help you leave easily without emotions.

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