Relationships between a man and a woman are always built on trust. But what should a girl do when her boyfriend hides their relationship from friends and family? Secret relationships always look suspicious and cause a lot of misunderstanding. And no matter how much a woman wants to justify a man’s behavior, from the outside it looks frivolous and stupid. Why does a man hide a girl and what drives his desire not to tell his love story to anyone?
He doesn't take relationships seriously
It's best to start right away with the bad news. And no matter how sad it is, most likely the man simply does not take the relationship with the girl seriously or even believes that there is no relationship. If you've been together for more than a month, and he still hasn't introduced you to friends or just pets, this is a sure sign that it's time to break off the relationship. It’s even worse when a girl trusts him completely, opens her soul and brings him into the company of mutual friends, and in return receives only gratitude. With such a person you will simply waste your time.
Signs of a Shy Guy
A shy guy often seems shy and indecisive to girls. These traits prevent him from meeting the opposite sex and building romantic relationships. If he likes a girl, he cannot make the first step and misses a happy opportunity to get closer.
Many women are sure that if a man likes them, he will show overt signs of attention and take various actions to win her heart. But timid, silent guys can walk in circles for a long time, stammer and blush during meetings, without taking any action.
Recently ended relationship4
If a man has just recently ended a relationship, then being a gentleman, he simply does not want to hurt his ex-lover. This is customary among “exes” if the partners do not have the goal of annoying each other. In this case, it is quite logical to hide a new relationship, and you should not be offended by a man without clarifying the situation. Just give it a little time for the relationship to strengthen and you can make sure that you made the right choice. The “time of exes” will pass, and he will definitely stop hiding your relationship.
How to distinguish falling in love from physical attraction: 5 signs
A man's liking for a woman begins with physical attraction. That's how nature ordered it. Some of her external qualities seem irresistible to him, and he “sticks.” At this very first level of rapprochement, the brain does not turn on, and passion blinds.
Girls often mistake this first flash for love. But the man is still far from real feeling. Next, he should feel emotional sympathy, when he wants not only to possess her body, but also to do something good for her, to help and be there.
Be sure to read:
How a man in love looks, we learn to distinguish between looks: intimate, flirting, furtive, languid
Then the man in love becomes interested in talking with his chosen one, he begins to like her way of thinking, character, he notices that their temperaments suit each other perfectly. At this moment, the man experiences the third stage of attachment - intellectual.
And only if a lover is able to experience the last stage of a relationship with the woman he has chosen—spiritual intimacy—can we say that he truly loves her.
There are several moments in a man's behavior that will tell a girl whether he is in love with her or whether he is experiencing only a fleeting passionate attraction.
Changes appearance
This is the first thing he will do. The guy will finally visit the stylist and get his haircut. He will start keeping his shirts fresh. Maybe even buy a couple of fashionable clothes and perfume.
Will try to get your attention
Gradually, the gentleman will begin to make attempts to attract the attention of the woman he likes. Any psychologist will confirm that when a man falls in love, he changes beyond recognition
His gaze will constantly follow the object of desire, admiring the girl. He will hide his eyes in embarrassment if she notices the surveillance and looks back. All this looks quite comical from the outside, but it will be very easy to notice the emerging interest.
He will try for you, look after you, protect you
A clear sign of sincere interest in a girl is the lover’s efforts to do something good for her. By asking a man for help, you can test his feelings. He will do everything in his power to solve the problem of the woman he loves.
Will be embarrassed and act like a fool
Unable to cope with the surging emotions in the presence of the girl he is interested in, a guy can behave like a fool:
- Say stupid things;
- laugh inappropriately;
- to be embarrassed;
- blush;
- gesticulate a lot;
- stutter;
- not being able to formulate a simple thought or pronounce a word.
Be sure to read:
How to understand that a guy is jealous: reasons and signs, what to do, advice from a psychologist
In fact, such behavior is a good sign, indicating a feeling so strong that the person is unable to cope with it.
He values your relationship very much6
Let's move from bad news to good news. Maybe a man is hiding a girl simply because he is afraid of losing her? This is usually done by men with low self-esteem, who are more afraid than anything in the world that their best friend will be able to take you away with him. Maybe you have come across such a jealous person? Think carefully, do you need a relationship where you will be jealous of every pillar? What about general photos? What about walks with friends? No, it’s better to be alone at home, in a robe and in the dark. What if someone steals such a treasure as you from under their nose?
Reasons why a man is embarrassed by a woman's presence
In fact, there are many reasons: from a man’s own fictitious (or not so) complexes to a deliberately chosen manner of behavior or social “mask”. Possible options:
Read also: Why you can’t do laundry on Sunday?
Self-doubt and fear of rejection
When a guy meets a nice girl, the thought comes to his mind: “We won’t succeed” or “I’m not worthy of her.” It takes up all the space in his head, you can think about it for hours, imagining your future family life and already figuring out how to rationally budget. However, at the thought of recognition, all enthusiasm evaporates somewhere. Fear overcomes: what if, after declaring her sympathy, the girl will respond with a banal refusal?
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Many men are afraid of this. They are rather afraid not of the phenomenon of refusal itself, but are worried about being ridiculed by a woman, because this will hurt their natural sense of self-esteem. That is why often on the part of a guy who has some feelings for a girl, there is a passive, one might even say cold, attitude, indifference to her problems. This explains why a man is shy in the presence of a woman: he is afraid to reveal his feelings.
You're screwing yourself up8
Men are complex creatures. And sometimes their understanding of relationships is not similar to women’s. For you, relationships mean constant meetings, shared photos on social networks, round-the-clock SMS, emoticons and continuous mi-mi-mi. For a man, a couple of minutes of conversation on the phone, meetings three times a week are enough, but he has never even heard of shared photos on Instagram. And this does not mean at all that the man is hiding you from the public, he simply does not want to share you with her. Maybe this is where the happiness of two people lies?
Whatever type of behavior is inherent in your man, at the beginning of the relationship, keep him at a distance and do not show all your cards at once. Respect the personal space of your chosen one and be prepared for the fact that in the near future he will stop hiding your relationship and you will see his social circle.
Signs of hidden feelings in a man
He likes to help you
He usually offers to help you. For example, listen, give advice, or help move furniture.
He makes it clear that you can count on him in everything.
He admires you (but will never say it out loud)
When you speak, he looks at you as if you were the most wonderful creature in the world.
He understands that you've been through a lot and admires your achievements. Each of your victories is huge in his eyes, although he does not make this clear.
He will listen to you and compliment you - an obvious sign that he has feelings for you.
As soon as he is with you, he turns on protective mode
Even though a man may make fun of you, it will never come off as mean, inappropriate, or rude.
But every time someone else does the same, the man will not approve of this and will even reprimand the joker to protect you.
He will also make sure that you get home safely and safely.
Whether he admits it or not, a man cares about you, and these little signs of attention indicate hidden feelings for you.
He shows signs of restrained jealousy
He doesn't like it when you are in the company of other men. And this is natural, because he reacts in accordance with his feelings and is afraid that someone else will become your soul mate.
You will see his face turn pale and his attitude towards you become a little strange. He is clearly uncomfortable and jealous when another man approaches you.
Not to mention that he will definitely ask you questions about what kind of relationships you are in with other men.
He's attentive
Broodiness is one of the most common signs that he is struggling with his feelings for you.
As mentioned earlier, he wants you to see him in the best light and therefore will act like a true gentleman. He will open the door for you, for example, and even if he doesn't shower you with gifts, the little gifts he gives you will come from the heart.
It doesn't have to be something extravagant like your favorite chocolates.
He shares personal information with you
Most men do not want to open up or do so slowly and with some reluctance. But if a man begins to trust you, this is always a good sign.
People can talk to each other about the weather, but sharing personal details is a much more intimate thing.
He will want to hear your opinion about what is happening to him now, or about plans for the future.
In general, he will have an inexplicable need to inform you about everything at every opportunity.
There are moments of cooling
He may not even realize that he is struggling with his feelings. Although he finds it difficult to confront them or explain how he feels, it will be even more difficult for you to understand him.
At such moments, it may seem that he is playing with you.
You will have to trust your intuition to understand whether his actions are unintentional or just a game.
You will feel chemistry and some tension between each other.
Every time you walk into the room, he can't help but smile.
He will stare at you and always find a way to indirectly compliment you by saying how beautiful you are.
He can also convey to you all the tension accumulated inside him in slightly rude words or remarks.
The magnetism between you is difficult to explain, but it is felt nonetheless.
Result:
The key to understanding why he is struggling with his feelings for you is that men don't experience their feelings the same way as women.
They will trust their minds first, preferring logical thinking over emotions, while women tend to follow their hearts.
If he is struggling with his feelings, give him time to work through them. He is struggling with himself, and it is better if he does it alone. Once he figures everything out, he will take a place in your life.
If not, it means that he is simply not your man.
He feels like a hero next to you
Even if he doesn't express his true feelings, does he try to step up and save the day when you need something? There is a chance that he really likes you if he is naturally trying to protect you.
How to understand this?
Does he open the door for you? Does he follow you when you are talking to a stranger? These are great signs that he likes you. You see, there's an interesting new concept in relationship psychology that says men are more likely to fall in love with women who make them feel like heroes. This is called the “hero instinct.” The simple truth is that men have a biological desire to provide and protect women, it is inherent in them.
Gestures and facial expressions of a lover
A man’s love is manifested not only in his actions, but even in his facial expressions and gestures. It is worth observing a man for a short time when he is alone with his beloved to understand his condition. In particular, please note:
- on his body, which is almost constantly in some tension, and from time to time he takes a pose that causes him a certain stiffness;
- sometimes there may be trembling in the hands, provoked by strong excitement, overexcitation or embarrassment;
- often the palms either become excessively dry or sweat;
- in situations where he feels insecure or tries to close himself off, he crosses his arms over his chest;
- if he tries to show himself to his beloved in all his glory, then he straightens his shoulders and raises his hands to his waist (this is how he tries to attract her attention);
- lovers who secretly desire their passion often casually touch the belt or keep their hands on their hips;
- During a conversation, a young man experiencing feelings tries to reduce the distance as much as possible in order to find himself in the personal space of his beloved.
For a man, falling in love is, first of all, an uncontrollable surge of adrenaline. And since it is almost impossible to hide any excited state, not a single man, even if he is a super agent, is able to neutralize his emotions at the sight of his beloved. So it will be quite easy for women who have basic observation skills to recognize signs of love in a man. Moreover, many guys don’t even suspect how quickly their facial expressions, which inevitably change during the period of falling in love, give them away:
- when a guy meets or is near the object of his adoration, his face literally changes (in this case, the face can either blush or turn pale);
- lovers often look down, but at this time their eyebrows rise slightly upward;
- romantic feelings are always positive emotions, which is why a smile so often wanders across a lover’s face, be it modest and barely noticeable or as open as possible (as they say, “32 teeth”);
- a young man experiencing love often unwittingly shares all the experiences of his lady love - if she laughs or is sad, he immediately picks up her emotions, although he himself does not notice it;
- a loving person tries not to miss a single change in the behavior of his beloved and makes every effort to maintain the initiative.
The desire for tactile contact can also be attributed to the manifestation of strong sympathy. A man tries at every convenient opportunity to touch the object of his interest, and the touches can be friendly and not imply something intimate - for example, accidentally touching the face or hand, removing hairs or specks of dust from clothing, and so on.
A woman may not even realize how important such touches are for a lover. In this way, it is as if he is touching the body of his beloved, while the young man’s gaze lingers for a long time on his beloved’s lips. In this case, the touch acts as a kind of completion of non-verbal contact, bringing the man calm and even great pleasure.
How love is born
Before a man truly falls in love, he will first go through certain stages.
- Assessment. When meeting a girl, a guy examines her appearance, determines the degree of attractiveness, and tries on the role of a partner for her. As you know, the first impression is formed by appearance.
- The emergence of interest in a girl. There is a need for closer acquaintance and communication. There is an interest in getting to know the young lady better.
- Attraction. At this stage, the young man begins to court his chosen one and looks at her reaction.
- Impression. The guy is trying to show his best qualities, doing everything in order to make the best impression on the girl, to amaze her.
- Belief. Feelings become stronger. The chosen one occupies all thoughts in my head and begins to dream. The guy realizes that he constantly thinks about the girl, cannot concentrate on other things, all thoughts are only about her.
- Repeated persuasion. This stage is characterized by the understanding that the young lady was enchanted, and the idea of a serious relationship is born.
- Love. A serious romance begins, the feelings are very strong.
What to do in such situations
The main thing is not to get upset. There is no need to change yourself for someone else, the most important thing is to be yourself. But still, some tips on what to do that is useful.
For a girl (what NOT to do when communicating with a modest guy)
To avoid scaring off a shy man, you need to follow a few tips.
- No need to rush. Don't force a guy to make the first move. When the time comes, if he really has feelings, everything will work out. You can, of course, give a man a little hint about your feelings to increase his confidence. For example, ask for help at work. With a feeling of satisfaction, the boy's confidence will increase.
- There is no need to deliberately put the guy in an awkward position and cause negative emotions. It's better to be modest. This is a method of psychological mirroring: if a man imitates the character or actions of another person, it means that he cares and is seen as a potential partner. A shy man alone with a seemingly insecure girl will worry less and, over time, communication will improve.
- Under no circumstances should you laugh at him. It is better to try to show your sincere attitude. If you really like a young man, you should not hide your willingness to come to his aid. You must let him know that you are interested in further communication. Shy people are so perceptive that they subconsciously begin to approach the sincere person.
Important: under no circumstances should you laugh at a man, especially when surrounded by his friends or colleagues. This way you can undermine his reputation and interest in women.
To a man
The man should also try to correct the situation. For example:
- Try to take more initiative. Don't be afraid to show leadership qualities. In any case, the main thing is to start taking action, and the rest will follow.
- If the reason for this behavior is inexperience, then you need to gain experience! Communication skills will not come without trial and error.
- Don't follow guys who are more successful with women. Everyone is different and no two characters are the same. If a man takes longer to make the first move, that's okay.
Reasons why guys like modest girls
There is an opinion that a modest and shy girl will make an ideal wife. First of all, a modest woman does not like to attract everyone's attention to herself, thereby she will not provoke outbursts of jealousy in her boyfriend. In addition, it is believed that modest representatives of the fair sex prefer leisurely evenings at home with reading a book and baking a pie to going to a club and noisy gatherings until the morning. This cannot but please a serious young man, oriented towards home comfort. Modest women are indifferent to shopping - this rather controversial thesis is put forward by men who consider modest girls very attractive. In addition to saving money, which the flighty beauty will certainly spend on dresses, shoes, stockings, the modest woman will also devote all her free time to something more useful - study, work, arranging her home, finally.
The decisive argument in choosing a life partner, which is made between more and less modest girls, is the fact that often modest girls remain virgins for a long time. Thus, there is a high probability that you will be the first and only man with your chosen one, which, of course, cannot but flatter a man’s pride.
Trust your heart
If a man doesn't love you, you will feel it. A person who is in love with you will be distinguished by their gaze. He will look at you with joy and long to meet you. Moreover, it will be important for him not only to meet you alone, but also to simply be close. That's why he can so willingly invite you to an exhibition or to meet his friends.
Being around someone who is in love with you will make you feel special. He will not only compliment you, but will also try to make you happy. He will happily remember your favorite dish and it will not be difficult for him, because he remembers out of love.
If you still doubt whether a man loves you, trust your heart, it will not deceive you.
Strengths of Shy Guys
Many girls believe that a timid guy can be boring, therefore, without having time to properly get to know a modest person, they go in search of a self-confident “brutal”. Psychologists advise not to rush to conclusions, since a shy young man can turn out to be an excellent husband and a great father. A timid man has the following qualities:
- delicacy;
- courtesy;
- the ability to value relationships;
- affection;
- emotionality;
- the ability to feel your partner.
Among other things, timid men adapt to a woman in all areas of life, therefore they are especially well suited for powerful, strong personalities who cannot tolerate objections, as well as for anyone who would like to have a devoted and faithful life partner nearby.
How does falling in love affect men?
If a guy is interested in a girl, it will not be possible to maintain Spartan calm. Indirect signs will definitely give Romeo away, but real feelings do not come immediately. A woman wants her admirer to be at her feet as quickly as possible, but that doesn’t happen. The gentleman needs to go through all stages of relationship development before he declares serious intentions.
From a psychological point of view
The guy deliberately hides his feelings at the initial stage of a romantic relationship, trying to understand how much he likes his chosen one. He wants to make sure that the girl attracts him not immediately, but in the future. Psychologists have determined what happens to a man at different stages of dating:
READ
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- Sympathy. Appearance is the first thing a gentleman evaluates. Every guy has his own taste, so a girl doesn’t have to be shy about being overweight, having small breasts or short legs. If a woman fits the individual criteria of a suitor, a slight crush begins to develop.
- Interest. The gentleman makes every effort to attract the attention of his chosen one. A sympathetic man can be determined by his behavior - he demonstrates his talents and best qualities.
- Attraction. The admirer courtes the lady of his heart, observing her reaction. At this stage, the guy wants to make sure that his efforts are not in vain.
- Belief. The relationship moves to a permanent and serious level. The girl can already analyze the guy’s behavior. The gentleman reacts sharply to the presence of other fans in her life and tries to spend all his free time in the company of his chosen one, so as not to leave his rivals a chance.
- Examination. The boyfriend will test not the girl, but himself. Guys don’t know how to determine that a relationship is really needed - and they resort to drastic methods. If a fan disappears for a short time at the very peak of a romantic relationship, do not worry. For him, this is a period of comprehension and overcoming internal disputes.
- Readiness. If the test is successful, the couple returns to the “persuasion” stage. The gentleman is ready for a serious step, takes responsibility for the fate of the chosen one and can confess his feelings.
For the development of a long-term union, all stages of the emotional development of a fan are important. Even if it’s easy for a girl to understand that he’s in love, psychologists advise holding off on drawing conclusions.
Only the man should make the decision.
At the physiological level
Love is chemistry. The expression did not appear by chance - the bold postulate was tested in practice by American anthropologists. A multifaceted and complex feeling cannot be reduced to banal chemical processes, but scientists have discovered the principles by which men fall in love. Depending on the stage of the relationship, the hormonal levels in the body change:
READ
How to please a man: flirting, love and seduction
- During the attraction stage, testosterone levels rise sharply. The process is quite natural, since the male hormone is responsible for the production of sperm. It's easy to understand a fan's true feelings, even when he hides it. The guy feels emotional uplift, energy and incredible sexual desire.
- During the period of attraction, the hormone of pleasure (dopamine) and happiness (serotonin) is produced. The gentleman is rarely in a bad mood, he is full of bold plans and constantly jokes.
- The final stage of hormonal changes is characterized by the onset of attachment. Sexual passions fade into the background, giving way to mutual interests. Scientists have noted that men and women fall in love in the same way, but at the final stage the body produces different hormones. For girls it is oxytocin, and for boys it is vasopressin.
Psychologists do not recommend blaming everything on a riot of hormones, but chemical changes in the blood affect a person’s readiness for a serious relationship.
What not to do
If you notice clear signs that your communication is moving to a new level and you are one step away from the official status of his girlfriend, consider what mistakes you need to avoid.
- Don't offer sex first. Even the shyest young man will find an opportunity to hint about his desire for a close relationship. Your initiative in this matter may simply frighten him away.
- Don't start serious conversations about your status in his life. Remember, men don't like to talk about relationships. They prefer to show their feelings through actions rather than words.
- Don't be intrusive. Don't forget, if isolation is a character trait of a young person, you are dealing with an introvert. And they need to periodically take a break from society. Be understanding about this feature and give your boyfriend personal space.
- Don't try to make him jealous on purpose. Men don’t like to sort things out, and introverts even more so. In addition, such behavior can dramatically change a guy's opinion of you in a negative direction.
Calmness is a hallmark of closed people. It guarantees the absence of constant scandals and quarrels. This is why girls love shy guys. If you behave correctly, you can build very comfortable relationships with such young people.
Which women make men the most shy around?
There are basically two reasons for a guy’s shyness: either he cares about the girl, or he’s afraid of her.
If the boss is a scandalous person, then feeling constrained when she appears is a normal reaction. A man does not want to cause “fire” on himself with his behavior and fall under the hot hand.
Young people are often embarrassed at the sight of beautiful young ladies. They involuntarily compare themselves with her: life achievements, wealth, even appearance. Therefore, against the backdrop of independent and successful girls, men feel inferior, although this is not at all the case.
Signs of love and sympathy
Before understanding a man’s feelings, let’s learn to distinguish between concepts such as love and sympathy. Agree, girls, this skill will be very useful to us in life!
| Love | Sympathy |
| Love is a combination of several strong feelings: respect, interest, falling in love and emotional attachment. | Sympathy occurs when you have a positive attitude towards a person. He arouses genuine interest in you and a desire to spend more time together. |
| Love is characterized by complete trust in another person. You can open up to him without doubting his integrity. | If you feel sympathy for a person, you will not initiate him into the recesses of your soul. There are some things you can tell him, but some things you will keep silent about. |
| If true love has arisen between you, you will soon begin to think about a future together. Common plans, prospects and dreams are what characterize true love. | Being in a state of love and sympathy, you will not get too ahead of yourself in your dreams. How your general weekend will go is the most you can think about. |
| The ability to compromise. When you truly love, you are willing to sacrifice your own interests for the interests of your loved one. At the same time, you will do this completely free of charge, without expecting gratitude and without being offended by your partner. | Having fallen in love with a person, you will still defend your own rights in a conflict situation. You will be concerned about your own interests, and the interests of your partner will fade into the background. |
