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Men are unpretentious creatures in the emotional sphere; a normal guy can endure a lot for the sake of a pretty companion who likes him and sex. Women are more demanding, but a number of keys also apply to them. If you are a man and bothered to read this guide on how to love a woman, you are already halfway to success. This guide is suitable for all zodiac signs, love your woman regardless.
Agree on social roles with her
There are women with a Jewish mother complex. There are girls who are eternal children. There are girls and boys in skirts. There are heads of departments who are unable to make coffee. There are clinically insecure models and charming plain girls who are the envy of everyone. There are smart, modest socialites and outgoing fools with a doctorate. You need a woman with whom you have the same understanding of social roles, yours and hers.
There is nothing shameful when a girl offers: you dress me and pay the rent, I run the house and do not refuse you bed - and you agree. There's nothing wrong with her warning: I'm committed to raising children and quitting my job, plus I need a nanny so I can sleep and look decent. This could be at least the option “let me sign off on your aunt’s apartment, learn Ruby and walk around naked, just whip me on the butt more often.” The only criterion for the acceptability of any relationship option is the consent of both parties.
The lion's share of deep family conflicts is due to the following: the spouses did not expect from each other what the partner was ready to give, that is, at the beginning of the relationship, they simply did not agree on what kind of joint future they would create, and relied on intuition. And intuition about people you don’t know from the cradle is often wrong. Therefore, clarify what she is ready to give you and what she wants to receive from you, correlate it with your desires and draw conclusions as to whether she is destined for you or whether there are only problems ahead. Such conversations are not “trading,” which is condemned by romantic stereotypes, but normal steps towards building harmonious relationships. Allah will not hand you family happiness on a platter, but He has given you the brains and tongues to negotiate it.
Consistency is the key to a strong couple relationship
To love correctly also means that a man, despite quarrels, insults and “showdowns,” is constant. He continues to take care of the family, do what is necessary, bring home money and fulfill the responsibilities assigned to him and do everything to make his woman happy.
If a man deliberately withdraws from business after a scandal and does not speak, then this has a detrimental effect on the woman. She thinks that she has lost her man and stops relying on him and his support. The worst thing will happen when a woman stops believing in your reliability and loses her sense of stability. A woman must know and feel that there is a man in her life.
Take care of your child as usual, fix something around the house, help with housework, ask how your wife’s day was. Of course, this is not an easy job and it is easier to come home, relax, lie down on the sofa in front of the TV and escape from worries and problems. But by choosing this path, you will not build a happy family and you will feel a lack of something. You don’t always need to wait for the initiative from a woman, you need to take it into your own hands, since the weaker sex also very much expects that you want to build a strong relationship, full of harmony and love.
It is very important for a woman to know and feel that a man sincerely wants to be with her, that he is happy and feels good. If you move away from a woman, she will feel abandoned and will simply begin to wither and dry up, like a flower without water.
Be the first to propose a solution
Gender-conscious women are worried that someone will decide for them, take away their right to self-determination and stand them at attention, and then they won’t be far from the wall.
That's not what I'm talking about. This refers to a useful habit in situations where you need to make a choice, to decide faster than she does and offer your option. This does not mean that your word is not discussed. Women just don't like mumblers. Even if they love, it is mostly through maternal instinct, and sooner or later the wife, exhausted by constant decision-making, will be tempted to fall on the chest of an authoritarian bobsled coach. Bad dialogue:
- Darling, let's go somewhere for dinner. “Wherever you say, my dear, I don’t care at all, I can at least eat nails after these meetings at the headquarters.”
Good dialogue:
- Darling, let's go somewhere. - Come on, I just saw a new restaurant of Ethiopian cuisine, where black waiters in only loincloths read Caste, what do you think?
Loving a woman = caring about her state of mind
Men ask how to take care of the internal state of their chosen one? You should clearly understand the common truth: women differ from men in that they mostly live by emotions, feelings, sensations, and they always prevail over reason and logical thinking. Of course, intelligence is not alien to a woman, and there are plenty of examples where a lady “outdoes” any representative of the stronger sex with her intelligence and logic. But, nevertheless, female nature is emotional, and it is pointless to argue with this.
The man's task is to help the woman manage her emotions as a couple. It is important what a man does at the moment when a woman ceases to control the emotions that overwhelm her, be it justified excitement or sudden causeless anxiety. A loving man must find out what vulnerabilities and weaknesses his chosen one has, and this should be done not in order to “press on sore spots,” but in order to protect and take care of her. Yes, a man will have to learn to deal with irrational behavior, but the game is worth the candle!
Ideally, you should not bring your wife to such situations when she no longer “sees the edges” and, like raging water, breaks through the dam, but what if the cause of the explosion is not you, you just happened to be nearby at the time of the storm?
Here you are next to a woman, she is in confusion, does not control her emotions, and instead of “quenching her storm,” you unwittingly “pour salt into her wound” - reasoning strictly logically, not understanding that you need to work with emotion here. Many men often cannot even realize when they need to stop appealing to rationality, but understand how painful and bad she is and begin to extinguish the fire in her soul.
As a result, the woman experiences even greater anger and fiercely resists the situation for one reason: she is in pain, and she, like a wounded tigress, begins to protect herself from her own pain, and to attack, including the man, as an external irritant.
Don't disappear without warning
I understand that constant reports of what you are doing humiliate a free person. On the other hand, isn't that what you do on Twitter? There is some kind of ancient secret curse here: as soon as you stay an hour longer than usual, don’t pick up the phone, don’t respond to messages for a long time - even the most sober-minded, cold-blooded, phlegmatic woman begins to vividly imagine how you were swallowed by a snake, run over by a truck, beaten to death by a drunken boss with a nut cracker, Vera Brezhneva drove by and, having fallen in love, took you away from her forever in a gold Cadillac. There's nothing you can do about it. Women worry, it's in their nature.
The solution is to warn her that you may be delayed and go offline, resolving issues, even if the chances of this are slim.
Without romance, love is weak - hugs, kisses and tenderness
To love correctly is to have an idea of what love language your woman recognizes and what is important to her. This could be help with housework, gentle hugs and kisses, kind words, care, sweet surprises or organization of leisure time.
Study your other half to know what will please her and make her happy. The right way to love your chosen one is to notice all the details: a new hairstyle, a beautiful dress, her mood. Every man knows that women react very sharply to the fact that a man does not notice a change in her appearance. A new blouse or haircut that suits you so well. Men by nature are designed in such a way that they do not notice little things, but for women, on the contrary, little things are very important.
To build good relationships, you need to learn to notice all the little things. Gradually build your relationship, brick by brick, building your love space. First you need to achieve mutual understanding, learn to talk to each other about all your problems and desires. And the most important thing is to hear what worries each other, without pushing away from the problems.
Try to always be in a good mood and remain calm. Don't allow yourself to show your dissatisfaction every day and don't indulge in petty things. You are a man who must not only provide your family with a good financial situation, but also keep it in your hands. A favorable and healthy spirit in the family is a task, the implementation of which largely depends on the strong shoulder of a man. If you adhere to a healthy lifestyle, are always cheerful and calm, everyone in your household will follow your example.
Getting up early, taking a contrast shower, playing sports together, hiking and walking in the park are the key to vigor and well-being for the whole family. Try to get rid of bad habits, set a good example for your children, and never forget that you are the head of the family. And this means a lot, and you have a huge responsibility for your wife and children.
Do not forget about your territory, hobbies and male self-development. By discovering masculine qualities in yourself, you will strengthen your inner core - your woman will always admire you and give you love, women love smart, self-confident, purposeful men. No rudeness, raised tone, softness or weakness. Take the initiative into your strong hands, make important decisions - this is the only way you can make a woman happy here and now!
Fix things around the house
The magic of driving a nail and changing the gasket in a faucet for a woman is equivalent to the awe that the average man experiences when watching a mountain of dirty vegetables, bloody bones and strange herbs turn into a delicious three-course meal in an hour.
A male mechanic wants to be worshiped, a desire immortalized in the classic plumbing porn story. And even if your dad and grandpa didn’t take you to a workbench in the garage as a child, looking up a manual on the Internet and trying to be a home craftsman is better than muttering “I don’t know, somewhere my mom wrote down the electrician’s phone number on the wallpaper in the hallway.” Practical knowledge of how to cope with everyday life is part of male eroticism and evokes respect from those who, in principle, are not given such things or are not interested (most girls). The only best alternative is “listen, take the money in the nightstand and order the toilet that you like, along with the installation, otherwise I’m not as strong in interior aesthetics as you are, and at the same time you’ll buy shoes for yourself in the shopping center opposite.”
How long does love last?
Due to the fact that the brain is unable to constantly maintain the activity of the areas responsible for maintaining the feeling of falling in love, this condition can last from one and a half to three years. Therefore, the expression “love lives for three years” is not true; it would be more correct to say: love lives for three years, and then love begins (not for everyone).
However, it was found that such a strong feeling can last much longer in the case of unrequited love. The lover seems to be stuck in this feeling and cannot move on. This phenomenon was called “Russian love”, when a woman has been unrequitedly in love for a long time and is therefore lonely and cannot build a new relationship. According to statistics, six percent of Moscow women do not get married precisely because of this phenomenon. By the way, “Russian love” is exclusively for women.
Be proactive
Proactive is the antonym of reactive, that is, you do not react, but act proactively and proactively. Women are more likely than men to change their mood, they attach greater importance to things that a man would forget about in a minute. So monitor this sensitive system as if it were a delicate device that is significantly affected by weather, light, news, gossip, and just about anything else. As soon as a woman’s behavior begins to deviate from the usual - the chatterbox is silent for a long time, the active one hangs in thought, the calm one lashes out at the dog, and the opinion leader comes out of the bathroom with red eyes - ask if everything is okay, if anything happened, without waiting for her to will scream “I’ve been depressed for three months now, if I died, you wouldn’t even notice.” The thought that her mood is as important to her partner as it is to her will in itself warm the woman.
Then, perhaps, you won’t even have to hear passages like “Madonna turned 55, like my mother, my mother looks much worse, and I will be like that, you will leave me for a student,” “Chapik is sad, I read on the Internet, he probably has cancer ” and “I just realized that I’m a mediocre nonentity, that explains everything.”
Maintaining a man's dignity
A man should not allow his significant other to cross the boundaries of what is permitted and humiliate himself. Promiscuity and emotionality have never led to good, and if time after time, a woman is allowed more and more, love and relationships can be thrown into the trash. Never and under no circumstances should you forget that you are a man and you must be able to stop a woman if she has crossed the line and forgotten about the limits of respect. We love people through ourselves next to them, and through our feelings of ourselves.
When a woman is in harmony with you, she is calm and peaceful, she will love not only you, but also herself. If she is angry and anxious, swearing and screaming, you caused this and allow her to remain in this state, then she ceases to feel love not only for herself, but also for you. Your task is to stop the woman and how you do it is up to you to decide. Maybe you need to raise your voice a little so that she understands that the situation is heating up, or maybe you need to hug and kiss her to calm her down. Maybe she will stop arguing when you speak to her in a confident and calm tone - you know best what “works” with your woman. But never humiliate her, don’t insult her, don’t scream so that the veins bulge on your face, don’t leave, slamming the door in your hearts, showing that you don’t care about her experiences and feelings.
For most representatives of the fair sex, the worst thing is when, in an emotional outburst, they are ignored and rejected, without accepting this state and not considering it something important. A woman wants to feel that you are listening to her, understand her condition and sympathize with her. Let her talk.
Criticize without it seeming like criticism
Even if you come across a not very smart specimen, and you can’t leave her because you’re obsessed with the shape of her legs and the smell of her lotion, you can correct your beloved’s behavior for the better so as not to offend her or cause reciprocal caustic remarks addressed to you.
It is best to first praise any good initiative with a dubious result, and then carefully point out the shortcomings (initiatives, in no case women). Bad example:
“The whole office laughed at me today because of your lopsided sushi. We ordered normal ones, replaced them with yours and played a prank on the courier, the boy almost had a stroke.”
Good example:
“Very tasty apple pie, I ate it all! No, no, I’m not bloated from dissatisfaction, I’m just allergic! Can you do the same next time, but with a pear? You are so great!”
Be generous to get more than you give!
Be generous with money, gifts, tender words, and expressions of emotions. Greedy, petty and stingy men rarely achieve success with women, and even if by chance such a stingy man managed to get a woman’s heart, then certainly not for a long time.
They say: “The more a person gives, the more he will receive.” Money can be considered a means of solving material problems, but it can also be considered a kind of energy and resources for building a family. If a man is not stingy, and gives from the bottom of his heart, without being greedy and without calculating in his mind what he should spend on and what he should spend on, the more the woman will give him love. And with this feeling, self-confidence always comes to a man, and, as a rule, success - he achieves his goals. Although a reasonable measure is needed here, not all women nowadays can resist the numerous temptations to spend money, especially if it is on a credit card, and there are several shopping centers nearby
A woman who experiences difficulties in material income, who constantly lacks the love of a man, is very often a deeply unhappy woman. Many men mistakenly believe that their main task is to ensure material wealth in the family and that’s where their functions end. They don’t understand that it’s impossible to make your partner with money alone, that their woman needs care, warmth, tender expression of feelings and time to be given to her, although it seems like we already told you this a little higher.
Show small signs of attention, even if you are lazy
Do you think flowers are a waste of money, but she loves them?
Step on your own throat (women despise cheapskates) and buy a gerbera at least once a week. It costs you a hundred rubles, and she enjoys a thousand. Get used to giving small gifts for no reason, and over time the very fact of giving will bring you the same pleasure as the fact of receiving it. Small gestures include remembering—and, more realistically, writing down on her phone calendar—all the dates she deems important. The day you met, the day of your first date, the day you moved in together, the day you proposed to her, your wedding day, your children’s birthdays, her mom’s, her puppy’s, her name day, Valentine’s Day, finally. Always have some worthy gift on hand, at worst, a certificate from a perfume chain (you know how much decent perfume costs, right? $80), this will save you a lot of nerves.
Practical steps to real feeling
A loving person wants to make his partner happy. True love is impossible without the following components:
- Respect
. Men and women want to be valued and respected for their personal qualities and interests. Sarcasm and cruel jokes about a partner’s shortcomings gradually destroy relationships.5 ways to increase respect in your family
1. Be careful about your partner’s needs. 2. Accept the psychological and physiological characteristics of a person. 3. Share interests, hobbies, loved ones. 4. Try to understand someone else's point of view. 5. Make decisions that are important for the family together.
- Attention and care
. Caring manifests itself differently for men and women. Men will highly appreciate: a delicious dinner, a clean and tidy house, a massage, and the opportunity to be alone in difficult times.Women need emotional support, kind words, protection in a dangerous situation. Constantly showing signs of attention (kisses, compliments, touches) is the best way to express love for a woman.
- Selfless actions
. Love differs from a transaction in the desire to bring joy to a loved one, without expecting anything in return.A man gives a ring to his beloved to make her happy, and not with the expectation of passionate sex, in gratitude for the gift.
- Praise and sincere compliments
. Psychologists believe that men and women need to be praised differently.Correct compliments:
To a man To a woman High assessment of personal qualities and character traits. Praise appearance, body features. A woman dreams of being attractive to her lover; she will be delighted by truthful compliments that celebrate her beauty. Expressing gratitude for care and protection. A woman wants to be chosen, to be singled out among all others. She will be pleased with the words: “You are the most tender,” “You are my only,” “You are the most graceful.” The main thing is that she knows that she is valued more than others. A man will not forget a woman who is sensitive to his work, skills, and abilities. You need to praise him more often for the results of his work and achievements. Representatives of the fair sex constantly strive to attract attention. By positively noting her new clothes, hairstyle, manicure, the man satisfies her main need. - Support in difficult times
. True love is tested by difficult life circumstances. One who has sincere feelings will show care and support, even when the whole world has turned its back on his loved one.
For reference!
Love requires knowledge about the character traits and needs of the partner. Men and women have their own understanding of love, a happy family, and relationships. It is important to learn to speak the same “love language” in order to achieve mutual understanding.
Compliment her appearance even if you're lying
The standards of our society suggest that a woman should look good, and this attitude penetrates the consciousness of all girls - even yours, who snorts at the mention of fashion and at the opera, akimbo, pushing carts about feminism.
I understand that a new haircut, much less a new hairstyle or a bracelet that took her four hours to choose, is difficult to notice against the backdrop of the crisis around Syria, the volatility of the options market and other important things. But try your best. If she has innate taste and dresses so casually that you can't tell her pastel cardigans apart, set yourself a recurring reminder to compliment her, coded something like "take your vitamins." If she bought the most vulgar scarlet skirt a la cabaret, tights in a large fishnet, in which each of her legs looks like jamon in a string bag, and is going to wear it with you to the bar association buffet, refrain from making harsh statements.
Bad example:
“I see you finally got up the courage to visit a sex shop.”
Good example:
“Wow, how brave, you will seduce all my colleagues, I will go crazy with jealousy, don’t be so cruel to me. But I see a cool black dress, you and I went to the dance in it, remember how wonderful it was?..” Remember: any change in appearance indicates a desire to please you, so in general it is positive, even if sometimes you are tempted to put a bag on her head. And the confidence that she manages to please you directly affects her relaxedness in sex.
Gratitude is the path to happiness and well-being in marriage
Learn to sincerely thank a woman for what she does and appreciate her deeds. Often a man does not notice how much women’s work is invested in home comfort, a delicious dinner and in the achievements of your children. Sometimes a woman spends many hours cleaning her apartment, but the result of her work will not be very noticeable.
Many women, when tidying up their apartment, enjoy the process. They can sort through cute trinkets, photo frames, delving into pleasant memories. A woman can rearrange things all day, creating comfort, and you need to know that she worked and did not lie on the sofa. And if your wife earns money on the same basis as you, then household responsibilities should be divided between household members. And a woman is not obliged to carry the entire burden of household chores on her fragile shoulders.
Signs of falling in love
Falling in love is a very vivid feeling that has the following signs:
- Falling in love is a feeling that is often called “love at first sight.” This type of romantic emotion is characterized by a strong emotional and physical attraction between one person and another.
- Falling in love is born when you see another person and begin to admire his appearance, behavior, speech, and so on. Falling in love consists mainly of emotions; with its onset usually comes a feeling of euphoria, a rush of adrenaline. This strong emotional outburst is compared to the feeling of “butterflies in the stomach” and is not controlled by the person.
- A person in love extols the object of his passion, ignoring his shortcomings and exaggerating his strengths. He is overcome by passion, he is fascinated by another person and considers him the limit of his dreams. There is also a desire to like, to become better and to do pleasant things. Falling in love does not necessarily imply the existence of a relationship: you can be unrequitedly in love.
- Falling in love is based on passion and infatuation, so it often does not last long. Falling in love appears instantly and can just as quickly disappear if interest in a person disappears, or turn into true love. It takes effort from both partners to maintain the spark. People who move from one relationship to another, seeking to constantly feel in love, may lose sight of true love because it takes time to develop.
- Falling in love is short-lived. There is a saying that love lasts 3 years. In fact, it is not love that lasts this long, but infatuation.
- Falling in love often manifests itself depending on the partner. You constantly think about your lover, want to be with him as often as possible, abandon other things for his sake, and so on.
Acceptance of character and habits
It is impossible to find an ideal person or someone who has identical qualities. All couples have both common features and different, even opposite ones. It can be difficult to get along with some of the characteristics of a new partner. But loving people treat this as adequately as possible.
“You have disadvantages, but they are acceptable to me” - this is the phrase of a truly in love person. Why is that? He:
- clearly sees all the shortcomings and bad habits, and does not idealize the character, attributing non-existent qualities;
- does not try to change, “train”, re-educate, “correct” the partner;
- soberly evaluates negative traits, seriously considering whether he can continue to live normally with them.
If at least one of these three points is not realized, then other feelings are involved in such a couple - passion, love, dependence, worship, etc.
