Psychological, intellectual and emotional strength is the ability to perceive reality as it really is, and then manage the emotions that arise from the observations and respond in a healthy and productive way.
Psychic strength is revealed in what we do, as well as in what we don't do.
Independence and self-sufficiency
A clear and strong sense of self-worth. Such people are not dependent, not manipulative, not possessive, and not obsessed with control. They know how to solve their problems.
They are not afraid to be alone, but they are not afraid of people either. They don't want others to save them, but they also don't try to save or radically change others.
They do not allow others to control their emotions, and they do not “discharge” their emotions onto others.
Lenin
Vladimir Ilyich, a famous revolutionary, a personality who influenced the course of history. Lenin led a revolt in Russia against the autocracy. He led the revolutionaries to the barricades, as a result of which Tsar Nicholas II was overthrown and the communists came to power, whose rule spanned a century and led to significant, dramatic changes in the lives of ordinary people.
Studying the works of Engels and Marx, Lenin advocated equality and strongly condemned capitalism. The theory is good, but in reality it was difficult to implement, since the representatives of the elite still lived in luxury, while ordinary workers and peasants worked hard around the clock. But that was later, during Lenin’s time, at first glance, everything turned out the way he wanted it.
Healthy self-esteem
Sometimes high, healthy self-esteem is confused with narcissism (status symbol: fake self-confidence, disrespectful behavior, emphasis on appearance, money, power, fame, ability to manipulate others).
A mentally strong person is neither falsely confident nor timid.
You recognize and accept your strengths and weaknesses. You have learned to define your self-worth so that you are not dependent on the praise of others and are not devastated by rejection.
GuruTest
A strong character sometimes causes a storm of indignation among people, because strong people do not depend on the opinions of others and are difficult to manipulate. This confuses most label lovers. Signs of a strong personality will help you understand how strong you are.
Sign one: the ability to hide true emotions
It is important to understand here that it is skill, not consistency, that is needed. Strong people must understand when and how to hide their joy or anger from other people so that it does not interfere with the work process, for example. People who are overly open always experience problems because they cannot abstract themselves from their desire to express emotions, which betrays them completely. Closed people keep everything to themselves, so they cannot relax. Smart, strong and wise people can adapt to any situation. This requires endurance and experience.
Sign two: you are comfortable being alone
If you can be alone with your thoughts, if you are not bored alone or alone, then you can consider yourself a somewhat strong person. For many people, it is not so easy to work in solitude, without communication. In addition to being resistant to loneliness, it also shows your high intelligence because your thoughts are not working against you.
Sign three: you don't need people's attention
What this means is that you don’t need to attract attention with flashy actions or words. People themselves are drawn to you if they have developed thinking and intelligence. A partly correct judgment is that people who are psychologically strong are often lonely. This is so because ordinary people have difficulty perceiving anything unusual, so they abstract from it. If you live without the need for the attention of others, then this is a good sign.
Sign four: you know how to take risks
In other words, strong personalities can abstract themselves from fear. This is not about the fear of heights or flying in an airplane, but about the fear of failure. Strong personalities take risks, but not everything in the world. They have escape routes and are free from empty fears.
Sign five: freedom from prejudice
Prejudices are established opinions about something or someone. Strong people do not listen to the opinions of others, but take them into account. They see the world in their own way. Even though their views on the world are not always rosy, they are individual.
Sign six: wisdom
Strong personalities always share or accept smart advice. As a rule, because strong people know how to take risks, they also know how to learn from mistakes, so their life is like a textbook on survival or achieving success.
Sign seven: thirst for learning
A strong personality will not necessarily study at university all the time. Strong people are not afraid to learn constantly, gaining new knowledge from any source. Such people always have some kind of hobby, because they are always interested in something. They understand that it is impossible to live on one volume of knowledge: they need to adapt to changes.
Sign eight: helping others
Even if a strong person has no time, he will show interest in the problem of another person. It's in the blood of truly strong-willed people. They cannot ignore the problem of their friends or loved ones.
Sign Nine: Fighting Injustice
This can be expressed in different ways, but a strong person will never leave injustice unattended. Protecting the weak is not a way to appear better, but an irresistible desire, an obligation.
Sign ten: no excuses
Let's say you wanted to lose a couple of kilograms. Excess weight is a fairly common problem in the modern world, but look carefully at who is working on solving it - almost no one. A truly strong person will not look for excuses in the form of work or some extraneous matters. There are no excuses for strong people - they take it and do it, and do not look for reasons to avoid working on themselves.
Sign eleven: no need for encouragement
Everything that a real person does, she does for herself. Such people do not need recognition, because a strong person knows that he is worthy of victory, because he works tirelessly every day.
Sign twelfth: calmness
Strong people shout little, and you can only make them angry if you try very hard. Some of them even manage to quickly cool down after enemy attempts to touch the nerve. Strong people are stress-resistant.
Sign thirteen: the ability to apologize
Admitting guilt is sometimes difficult for even the strongest people. If you have the inner strength, you can do this without any problems. Strong people understand that they can make mistakes and do something wrong in life, hurt someone with their actions, for which they can apologize.
Sign fourteen: no empty expectations
Strong people expect nothing from others: no help, no support. They understand that this is self-sufficiency. If you constantly wait for someone to help you, then you may not get it.
Sign fifteen: all matters are scheduled
Almost nothing happens for nothing in the lives of strong-willed people. Such people have time for rest, for entertainment, for work, for idleness, for everything. Time allocation occurs only according to priorities.
Sign sixteen: high level of responsibility
This includes sports and proper nutrition. Strong people are responsible towards themselves and their work. They are punctual and always have a plan B in case of force majeure. No tasks are put aside, because in this case they accumulate like a snowball, preventing you from living normally.
All these signs should ideally describe you, but in reality everyone understands that it is enough to have only a few signs for you to be able to call yourself strong. Strong people are not arrogant, they know how to defend their point of view, and they are individual. They are slightly biased by character type towards introverts, because being alone is more productive for personal growth.
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22.03.2018 01:17
Proactivity instead of passivity or reactivity
You accept that you are responsible for your own life. If there is a problem, you can weigh your choices and make a decision.
In comparison, a passive person typically feels overwhelmed or disconnected to the extent that they feel paralyzed and incapacitated to take any action. Likewise, a reactive person simply automatically reacts to things and makes decisions without conscious awareness.
Passive or reactive people are rarely aware that they are making decisions in their lives. Proactive people remember their emotions, thoughts and motives. They love to live their life, even if it is difficult.
Now let's look at examples
If earlier, when speaking about strength, we meant, first of all, physical data, but now this concept is much broader. In ancient times, to be considered such, a person only had to kill a mammoth, but now this quality is measured by mental, intellectual and other abilities that make many people not just strong, but unique and great personalities.
Let's get acquainted with examples of strong people who have already made history or are just starting their journey, motivating others to succeed.
Peter I
Peter I is an outstanding ruler who made a significant contribution to the development of the state. He was his father's fourteenth child and his mother's first-born. Peter I's father passed away when the future tsar was not even four years old.
As Tsar, Peter I set himself the goal of raising Russia to the level of successful countries. The ruler divided the country into ten provinces, subordinated the church to the state, founded an army and navy, and also reformed the sphere of education and culture: new educational institutions began to open, and the opportunity to study abroad became available. Thanks to the innovations of Peter I, Russia became an empire, and the ruler received the title of “Great Emperor”.
Some interesting facts: Peter I was a little over two meters tall, but at the same time he had small feet. To correct for this difference, he wore shoes several sizes larger. The emperor was against drunkenness and fought against it with the help of a cast iron medal: it was hung on those who abused alcohol so that it was impossible to remove it, and you had to wear it for seven days. Peter I was versed in various crafts; he mastered the skills of a mason, carpenter, etc.
The king had a stern character, the formation of which was probably influenced by a tragic situation in childhood: in front of the eyes of a little boy, rebels dealt with his relatives. The personality of Peter I still arouses interest, but the fact that he determined the course of Russia's development for many years to come made him one of the great personalities who gave strength to the state.
Yuri Gagarin
Could one day a boy from a simple family have thought that he would become the first person to conquer space? Probably not.
Yuri Gagarin lived in the village of Klushino. In 1941, little Yura was preparing to go to school, but instead of happy days at his desk, he was forced to fight for life, coming face to face with the war. The Germans kicked his family out of their house, where they later set up a workshop. He lived in a dugout with his family for a year and a half without the opportunity to stand up to his full height and move freely.
Despite all the troubles, Yuri Gagarin was able to succeed in his studies, graduated from college, an industrial technical school and entered a sports flying club, where he made his first flight. Once he was almost expelled from school due to the fact that he could not land the plane correctly. In the end, it turned out that his short stature was to blame. The problem was solved by placing a thick pad on the chair.
In 1961, he was included in a group of six candidates for space flight. Yuri Alekseevich successfully passed all the tests and training, leaving no doubt that he should be the chosen one.
Yuri Gagarin died in a plane crash, the cause of which is still controversial. In his note, which he wrote to his wife before flying into space, there was the following: “Once in childhood I read the words of Valery Chkalov: “If there is to be, then to be the first.” So I’m trying to be that and will be until the end.” The spouse received the note only after the pilot’s death [Anews.com, 2020].
Elon Musk
This name is probably on everyone’s lips, but few people know that in childhood, today’s American entrepreneur, engineer and billionaire was a withdrawn child and was even subjected to violence from his peers, and once, after another beating, he had to repair a broken nose.
Elon's parents divorced, and the boy decided to live with his father, who had a difficult character. As a child, Elon Musk helped his father at work, which was related to construction. At the age of ten, Musk was given a computer, and at the age of twelve he sold his first program, a video game, for five hundred dollars. In 1995, he entered Stanford, which he left exactly two days later to start his first company.
Today, Elon Musk is the founder of several companies, such as X.com and PayPal (personal money transfers), SpaceX (development of launch vehicles), Tesla (production of electric vehicles), etc. He was awarded the title of the best entrepreneur of the year and included in the list of the most influential people of the twenty-first century, and was also awarded the Heinlein Prize for achievements in the commercialization of space [Biography.com, 2021].
Some more inspiring stories
Nick Vujicic has no arms since birth, and a small foot with two toes protrudes directly from his thigh. Despite his rare disease, Nick leads a full life that can be the envy of those who are completely healthy. He swims, surfs, plays football and golf. Moreover, he graduated from college and received a diploma in two specializations.
Nick Vujicic gives lectures where, by his example, he motivates people not to give up and believe in themselves. By the way, he is married and has four children who were born absolutely healthy. Isn't this happiness?
Jessica Cox is not just a female pilot, but a pilot without arms. She has a birth defect. The most interesting thing is that during pregnancy, all tests for Jessica’s mother indicated that the baby was developing without pathologies.
Despite her peculiarity, the girl drives a car and combs her own hair, she does all this with the help of her legs. She also trained as a psychologist, dances, and has a double black belt in taekwondo.
To train as a pilot, the girl took a three-year course in airplane driving, where she was taught by three instructors. This is what willpower and determination mean!
Andrea Bocelli is a singer from Italy who is known throughout the world. Andrea's talent for music manifested itself in childhood, but, unfortunately, he experienced vision problems due to glaucoma, and being hit on the head by a ball while playing football completely made the boy blind.
Despite this, he received a musical education and was able to attract attention: he was invited to various performances. Andrea Bocelli was one of the first who was able to combine opera music with pop style.
As you can see, personal strength, first of all, manifests itself in indomitability in the face of difficulties, perseverance of character, powerful self-motivation and fortitude. Such different stories, but they all prove that each of us is the creator of our own destiny.
Rational consciousness
See reality as it is. You perceive reality meaningfully using reason, logic, observation and common sense. In comparison, irrational people, even if they are quite logical, may come up with conclusions or connections that make sense primarily to them, but they lack objectivity and are not forward-thinking.
You will be able to maintain a high degree of awareness when you accept a situation, or deceive yourself by being unable to regulate your emotions.
It is important to be in the present moment, without being stuck in the past or dwelling in the future.
Emotional literacy and self-reflection
You are in touch with your emotions. You are able to recognize exactly what you feel, why, and what it means in relation to your existence.
You will take time to look back and reflect on what is happening in your inner and outer world. You think about what has happened in your life and what is happening, and actively make decisions about your behavior and actions based on your true emotions and reality.
You are effectively processing your past traumas and growing as a person.
If you want to live, be flexible
What image comes to mind when you hear the word “sustainability”? Many people associate this quality with a mountain (which is why, for example, many meditations use this image to create a feeling of inner balance and groundedness). But there is a problem: we are still living people, not mountains, so sustainability is not inherent to us by nature. We are made up of 60–70% water. Our emotions fluctuate almost every minute in response to external influences or our own thoughts. Even our life principles and beliefs can change. And it is this variability that can play into your hands if you learn to use it.
Take the “Systems Thinking” course and you will learn how it helps you “hack reality”, integrate into a complex and fast world, how to speed up your brain and learn effectively.
One of the modern areas of cognitive behavioral psychotherapy, called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), pays special attention to the development of psychological flexibility . We are talking about the ability to remain in contact with any of your experiences, even the most unpleasant thoughts, feelings and sensations, and at the same time make your life more and more meaningful.
This is especially important these days because we easily lose touch with what we experience from moment to moment and what is truly meaningful to us - in other words, with our values. When this happens (and this happens to all of us to one degree or another at different periods of life), then there is a feeling that life loses its meaning and turns into a continuous struggle or painful service.
The essence of psychological flexibility is to stop fighting what you find intolerable. Russ Harris, one of the leading experts on ACT and its popularizer, explains: “If you find a certain emotion positive, you may try to experience it again; If you write it down as negative, you will strive even more desperately to get rid of it. Thus, judging emotions sets you up to deal with them... Making judgments is the most common way the mind exacerbates our emotional discomfort.”
Empathy and compassion
Psychologically strong people have a strong sense of self-compassion and develop empathy for others. Empathy does not necessarily mean that you agree with other people or their actions, but that you understand how others feel, think and act, and why.
Another way to develop your own empathy is compassion. Because you understand how you feel, and because you understand how others may feel, you have compassion.
Adaptability
Adaptability is one of the most useful character traits. Strong people are able to quickly adapt to change and remain aware in a problematic or unexpected situation.
You have confidence that you will be okay because you are adaptable; you think about the situation, but you don't obsess or worry about it because you know you can handle it when it happens.
How to become strong
How to change yourself and your character for the better
Not everyone is lucky with the right upbringing. For example, girls are often taught in childhood that the most important things are humility and modesty. As a result, they grow up to be indecisive and insecure individuals.
Everyone can correct the situation and engage in self-development. Developing new habits will take time, but the results will be worth it. A person will be able to enjoy life, change his views on what is happening and find a lot of new things.
First you need to decide what qualities are required - everyone has their own ideas about a strong personality
Accepting what is and is not under your control
You understand that there are many things that are beyond our control. The desire to control everything is a classic sign of chronic anxiety and existential uncertainty.
You can differentiate between what you can control and what you cannot. Shifting your attention away from things that are out of your control allows you to feel better, opening up new possibilities and the possibility of being happy.
Focus on yourself
Instead of focusing on what you can't control or on achieving grandiose or anxious goals, you simply live your life as healthy and conscious as possible.
You don't play social games.
You do not follow ideologies or be swayed by social, political and philosophical narratives. You don't try to change everyone around you to suit your tastes. You don't worry about what your neighbor thinks or might be doing wrong.
You create a better life for yourself, one that is not aggressive towards others, towards yourself and your immediate environment.
You do not like to listen to excuses and excuses
Strong personalities cannot tolerate excuses or excuses from themselves or others. Moreover, they are often much more strict with themselves, and not with others, and this already says something.
Instead of inventing elaborate excuses for why things didn't work out for them, they consciously direct their efforts to finding solutions to their problems, no matter how complex and intractable they may seem to them.
Strong personalities know how to roll up their sleeves and take on even the dirtiest work. For them, the hardest work is better than the excuses they despise. They understand that in reality, any excuses are a waste of energy and time.
Helping others out of the kindness of your heart
Essentially, everyone is responsible for their own life. By default, we do not owe anything to anyone, just as others do not owe us anything.
Strong people are considerate and helpful. However, giving and helping others is an act of kindness, not an obligation.
You are helpful and caring, but you do not feel responsible for the well-being of other people, just as no one is responsible for you. You can be helpful and generous without guilt or obligation.
Healthy Relationships
The foundation of a healthy relationship is boundaries .
You treat others fairly, which means you love and respect those who are worthy and do not waste your resources (time, money, energy) on toxic people or tolerate their abusive and harassing behavior.
If you encounter something that seems toxic or unhealthy, you make a decision about what to do rather than reacting emotionally or passively accepting it. You regularly review your relationships with other people and come to conclusions that will help maintain your boundaries.
You know how to listen like no one else
Notice how most people behave when they listen to anyone. It is very likely that their attention is constantly jumping from the narrator to something else. They constantly look around, lose themselves in their own thoughts, and check their email on their phone.
Strong personalities are not like that. They know how to listen to other people, because they understand how important it is to earn the trust of others, and how easy it is to lose it. In addition, most of them are extremely intolerant of those who do not know how to listen and do not want to learn how to do so.
Don't try to please everyone
The truth is that no matter who you are or what you do, there will be people who don't like you. You don't like everyone either, so it's natural that not everyone will like you either.
Psychologically strong people do not become aggressive towards others , but they also recognize that social rejection is inevitable - and that is normal.
Fear doesn't rule your life
Nowadays, too many people are afraid of something other than what is happening to them. Many are afraid of what may yet happen. Such people, as a rule, strive for security and comfort.
At any cost, even if they have to sacrifice their desires for them. Strong people will never do this. This does not mean that they do not experience fear at all. This means they don't let fear rule their lives.
Perhaps the famous John Wayne said it best: “Courage is being scared shitless but still jumping into the saddle.” This is an axiom shared by all strong people.
Saying no
Strong people know when to say no. They know where their emotional responsibility ends and the other person begins, and vice versa.
They feel comfortable saying no to boundary violations, aggression, and unfair behavior, which ultimately benefits them. They do not feel shame or guilt for protecting their identity.
- Are these points present in your life?
- Is there anything you would like to add to this list?
- What points would you like to work on?
- What does a strong personality mean to you?
If you have questions or would like to schedule a consultation, you can contact me by going to the contact page . I will be glad to help you!
Strength = toughness?
A strong personality is, first of all, characterized by a stable psyche in stressful situations. Such a person perceives leaving his comfort zone as an incentive for development, and not as a reason for worry. It is characterized by endurance, durability and maturity. These qualities, according to scientists, are formed in childhood.
Psychologists believe that it is impossible to determine for sure whether a person is persistent or not using any tests. Resilience is only developed by those who have faced obstacles in their lives.
Norman Garmezy, a psychologist at the University of Minnesota, has done a lot of research on this topic. He watched the children, but one boy made a special impression on him: he grew up in a dysfunctional family and always brought a sandwich to school that consisted of only two pieces of bread. But the boy did not want to be pitied or thought badly of his mother so much that he did not show it and always came to school with a smile. Garmezi calls such children successful, because they have a special personality trait - resilience.
Emmy Werner, a specialist in developmental psychology, conducted an experiment that lasted thirty-two years. She observed a group of approximately seven hundred children, from the time their mothers carried them in the womb until they were thirty years old. Emmy studied the influence of stress on the formation of the personality of each of them. Two thirds of those studied grew up in stable conditions, which cannot be said about the rest.
As a result, it turned out that children from the risk zone reacted differently to the stress that was happening in their lives: some began to develop behavioral problems by the age of ten; by the age of majority, many of the children became delinquents and mentally ill, while others grew up confident in life. themselves, caring young people who took advantage of every opportunity to develop.
Children's resilience was explained by the strong support of parents and guardians, but in most cases the development of resilience was directly dependent on the reaction to the environment. Resilient children, from an early age, willingly interacted with the world, showed independence and had a positive outlook on things. They were confident that they were shaping their own lives.
But Emmy Werner has found that resilience can weaken over time if a person is faced with greater stress that outweighs their level of endurance.
George Bonanno, a clinical psychologist at Columbia University, has spent nearly twenty-five years studying resilience. He tried to find out why some people cope with obstacles easily and others don’t. One of the influencing factors, in his opinion, is perception: a person may perceive a stressful situation as a trauma or an opportunity for growth.
For example, the passing of a loved one from life is certainly stressful. But if you find some special meaning in this sad event that will lead to an understanding of illness or religion, then the event will not be so traumatic. By the way, persistent people are more likely than others to talk about religious support.
According to George Bonanno, a positive reaction to what is happening can be learned, but human nature is so amazing that he can achieve the opposite effect with his own hands: strengthen his reaction to stress factors [M. Konnikova, 2016].
