How to be friends correctly - 5 ways to become a best friend -

Write real handwritten letters to your friends

With all the electronic communications going on these days (Facebook, Email, Twitter, text messages), a handwritten note can really make an impression. Firstly, you just don't see them like that these days, so the email will really stand out in your friend's inbox. Secondly, the fact that you took the time to find a card, write something by hand, and then mail it shows how much meaning is contained in it.

You don't have to send cards or letters all the time for it to be an effective way to improve friendships. Look for these opportunities:

Thank you card . She will show your friend how much you appreciate her gift.
Condolence card about your friend's problems . It could be anything: a difficult time at work, problems with a child, difficulties in marriage, and the like.
A note of encouragement . Is your friend trying to lose weight? Find a new job? Find yourself a new love? No matter the occasion, a handwritten note with a sincere compliment or support will show your friend that you are with her in spirit.

“Just like that” card . Think about how touching it will be for your friend to receive a card that simply says, "Hey, I haven't told you in a while, but I really appreciate our friendship."

Essential Qualities for a Good Friendship

Let's look in a little more detail at the qualities that a person needs for a good friendship.

Goodwill

Kindness is the ability to see the good in a person. A friendly person is open to new acquaintances, knows how to support and help, and emphasizes the advantages of his opponent. Also, benevolence implies the ability and desire to selflessly help others.

Peacefulness

This is the opposite of conflict. Please note that this is not about hushing up contradictions, but about the ability to compromise, listen and hear the other person. Some people conflict for the sake of conflict and look for a reason to “get into trouble” with someone. A peace-loving person does everything to prevent conflicts, for example, defuses a tense atmosphere with a joke, behaves tactfully and chooses expressions, and looks for a unique approach to each person.

Note! Peace-loving people reserve the right for themselves and other people to make mistakes, and know how to forgive and apologize.

Lack of selfishness

Nobody wants to be a tool in the wrong hands. But egoists are friends only for this purpose: they use other people to satisfy their personal needs and interests. In order to be a good friend, you need to be able to care and think not only about yourself, but also about others. It is important to take into account the interests, needs, desires, and experiences of another person.

Devotion

This is what makes friendship different from other relationships. Loyalty is the ability to be faithful even in difficult periods of life. A good friend does not refuse help, even when he himself is feeling bad. He does not refuse a person if he has done a bad thing or said something rashly. A good friend understands everything and stays with his friend until the very end.

Be active in communication with friends

When people are busy, they often think of friends only when they need something. And this is not the right solution to the question of how to be friends correctly. The problem is that this behavior makes it look like you don't really care about your friend. Instead, you just want to be with her when it suits you.

There's nothing wrong with asking your friend for a favor, but make sure you're actively maintaining your friendship first. Call people to find out how they are doing, send an email, or simply write on their wall on Facebook or VK. Communicate with your friends regularly so that they understand that you are a sincere person.

How to make friends with people

It would be great if there was some kind of checklist that would teach you step by step how to get to know and get closer to a person. But there can be no universal advice in this matter. Below you will find recommendations most often given by psychologists and coaches.

Let's start with the dating stage. If you are embarrassed to approach people on the street, it is better to prefer the Internet. This will make it easier for you to start a dialogue. In addition, in correspondence there is always time to think about a response; you can even Google an interesting topic and create the impression of a versatile person.

At the same time, you should not drag out virtual friendship, but, if possible, move it offline as quickly as possible, suggesting, for example, a walk in the park or a cup of coffee in an establishment.

By the way, there are useful publications on our blog:

How to become self-confident (for women).

How to become confident (for men).

Real acquaintance usually begins with conversations about the weather and nature and only then turns into something more personal and deep.

If you don’t know how to start a conversation and what to talk about with a stranger, I highly recommend reading the article in which we have collected interesting topics for conversations with anyone.

Here are some ways to help you get closer to a person after meeting them:

Smile and be friendly. Yes, it’s very banal, but a simple smile and an open look work real miracles. Believe me! Surely you also find it more pleasant to communicate with someone who is positive.
Compliment the person. Just make sure that it is sincere and does not look like blatant flattery with a fake smile. People are very sensitive to lies. Nobody wants to see a suck-up next to them! Unless he's a pathological narcissist. Notice something about the person or their abilities that you really like. But don't overdo it. A compliment is like a sweet dessert: if you eat too much, your stomach will hurt.
Offer help with any issue. The person will feel that you are open and can be relied upon.
Spend more time together. Correspond, share news, invite a person to events that will be interesting to both of you, or just for a walk. Over time, you will feel more and more comfortable with each other. The effect of emotional addiction will begin to appear, which will automatically contribute to rapprochement. Just remember about reciprocity, right? We offer without being intrusive, and adequately perceive the likelihood of refusal.
Touch. The point is not at all that you need to touch your interlocutor, but rather that you can, for example, gently tap on the shoulder to attract attention to yourself or lightly touch a person’s sleeve so that he looks at something. Many experiments have proven that we feel closer to those with whom we have minimal physical contact.
Let's have a chance to talk. Researchers say that talking about yourself is no less enjoyable than eating food or spending extra money. Know how to listen! Let the person express his opinion, talk about his childhood or share stories from his life. This way you will create the impression of an attentive and sensitive interlocutor.
Apply the principle of mirroring. This is when you copy the gestures, postures, facial expressions of your interlocutor, and use some words that he often says. According to experts, such adjustment is favorable and contributes to the emergence of sympathy. Just don’t overdo it: you shouldn’t, like a monkey, duplicate everything your interlocutor does.
Avoid complaining and washing the seeds. Very often, it is topics like these that bring people together. But do you need people around you whose friendship is based solely on negativity? In addition, we are always associated with what we say. Do you want such an association in the eyes of new acquaintances?
Focus on similarities rather than differences. It doesn’t matter at all that you vote for different parties or don’t agree on musical preferences. Maybe you are both vegetarians, or maybe you both remember how you hated wearing tights as a child. Look for any common ground.
Create shared memories. It is not at all necessary to wait until life takes you through “fire, water and copper pipes.” Memories can be anything: even about a joint trip to another city, or about a trip to Pyaterochka. Everywhere you can find something funny, funny, memorable.
Let the person into your life. From my own experience, I can say that you become closest to a person when he invites you to visit him, introduces you to his loved ones, shows you his photographs, and tells funny and sad stories from the past. Of course, you shouldn’t take everyone you meet to your house to get closer to them. I think you will feel your communication getting to a point where this is appropriate.
Share your secret. Of course, this should be your personal secret. Revealing other people's secrets and contributing to the spread of gossip is a taboo, because this way you will let the person know that they should not trust you.
Look at a person through his eyes. French writer Victor Hugo said that a person has three characters: the one that people attribute to him, the one that he ascribes to himself, and the one that actually exists. Your task is to combine the second with the third and treat your friend the way he positions himself. It is not surprising that we are most successful in connecting with those who confirm our self-image and who do not need to prove or pretend anything.

The right way to be friends is to give meaningful gifts

Think about the gifts you give to a friend. Gifts don't have to be big or expensive to nurture your friendship. In fact, it's often the smallest but most thoughtful ones that are the biggest hits. Pay attention to the details of your friend's life to find what she will really appreciate. Here are some gift ideas for your girlfriend:

Items that bring back memories for both of you, such as tickets to an event, a fun book, or gift certificates to a favorite restaurant.

Anything that helps a friend deal with everyday matters can be an excellent gift. Things like an offer to babysit a child, a book of simple recipes, or an offer to help at the dacha.

Homemade gifts are great if you're giving something your friend really wants. If you are a needlewoman, then a handmade hat or knitted scarf. Or you can make a memorable photo journal or scrapbook, or sew a couple of pillows for her apartment.

What you need to do and how to become a better friend for your friend

The foundation of successful friendship: sincerity, acceptance, devotion and trust. Without these qualities there is no true, deep connection. What then should be the ideal girlfriend? Below are some practical tips.

Sincerity is the basis.

We tell the truth, and not what someone wants to hear from us. Friends are people to whom we can tell everything. Not only talk about your own worries and sorrows, but also directly criticize the other person's behavior. The most important thing is sincerity. You don't have to be afraid that we'll offend someone. Especially if we have weathered more than one storm together.

Without trust there is no friendship.

Gaining the trust of another person is not an easy task. This is a long process. And it is much easier to destroy built trust than to restore it later. Therefore, we must be careful in our choice of words in relation to each other. Especially those that are said in the presence of strangers or colleagues.

It’s better to stay away from chatter, because it will come up sooner or later. We also cannot remain silent if we hear that someone is trying to denigrate your friend. Keeping promises is also important. If we break these words once, we may lose the trust of a friend. Let's be loyal.

A friend is also a person.

Not crystal clear and has its drawbacks. Like each of us. Even if we think that our friend is making a mistake, and we ourselves make a different decision, do not judge her or criticize her. She can make mistakes, she has the right to make her own mistakes. Try to find out and understand her point of view.

8. Don't be jealous and enjoy her successes.

The successes of our friends are our successes. A friend is not an enemy or a competitor. His achievements should be a source of pride for us. Jealousy can only ruin a beautiful and long friendship. Motivate each other!

Help in trouble.

We must react immediately when we see that something is wrong. There is no need to wait for a friend to ask us for help, we ourselves must lend a helping hand. There is no place for rewards and gratitude in friendship. This is one of the most selfless relationships.