Features of the upbringing and development of eight-year-old children

It seems that after the child’s eighth birthday, a long-awaited respite comes. Both for the child himself and for his parents. Yesterday's timid first-grader is mastering school life, becoming more confident and independent. There is still enough time before adolescence with the whims and riot of hormones, and parents have a great chance to establish a trusting relationship with their son or daughter before they reach the transitional age of 12-13.

Eight years of age is really good in many ways, but it also has its own nuances. Eight-year-olds become very receptive to outside opinions—evaluation from peers seems especially important. Often it is eight-year-old children who lose interest in studying, focusing on fashion among their peers. Therefore, it is important for parents to know what a child should be able to do at the age of 8, in order, if necessary, to help the younger student develop in accordance with his age.

Content:

• Features of age The main age features of 8 years
• Features of girls' development
• Boys' development

Miseducation

Raising a child is incredibly difficult. Parents sometimes cannot find a middle ground between overprotection and neglect, rigidity and permissiveness, increased moral responsibility and childish indifference.

• Due to improper upbringing, the child develops neurosis;
• Soon it turns into self-indulgence;
• Further – into uncontrollability.

How to educate:

1. Love him for who he is.
2. Never humiliate or insult.
3. To play together. It develops and calms. Plus, you will start spending time together.
4. Be a good example. You will not be an authority if you say one thing and do another.
5. Protect against psychological and physical problems. You cannot overdo it in this matter, otherwise everything can turn into overprotection.
6. Give positive impressions. He should not live only in dull everyday life, otherwise he will begin to look for new ways of entertainment, shouting and swearing.

Features of age

The differences between seven-year-old and eight-year-old children are not as obvious as those of younger children. But still, the child is changing compared to the time when he just started first grade: physiological, mental, and psychological differences are noticeable.

Main age characteristics of 8 years old

Features of the age of eight, knowing which parents will be able to accurately understand whether everything is in order with the development of their child:

• a habit of school is formed: the student perceives classes as a natural part of life, copes with homework independently or with the help of adults;
• there is a desire to spend as much time as possible with peers;
• emotional intelligence develops: the younger student is good at “reading” other people’s moods and emotions, and knows how to restrain his own negativity (although breakdowns are still possible);
• new socialization skills are acquired: the child builds friendly relationships with classmates and teachers;
• Eight-year-olds begin to take an active interest in gadgets - smartphones, computers, tablets - and this is also a normal stage in the development of a modern child.

Reasons for a child's rudeness

There is no aggression out of nowhere. There is no such thing as rudeness that arises out of nowhere. If a child begins to be rude, it means that he has an unresolved problem, which he cannot yet deal with on his own.

That is why the most important thing in a family is trust in each other.

If a child trusts you, is not afraid to come with the most nonsense or, on the contrary, a truly difficult problem, then he simply will not have the need to be rude.

Rudeness is a defensive reaction, an attempt to isolate oneself from “picking with a stick.” This occurs especially often if a person is not sure that your interest is sincere.

The problem can be anything - from the financial situation of the family to the feeling of one’s own helplessness in connection with any situation. In any case, a satisfied, happy child will never be rude!

You should think about it - why don’t they want to discuss this problem with you? Are they afraid of offending? Don't believe in you? Are you afraid to say? These are the questions that parents should ask themselves, and not at all “how dare you talk to me in such a tone.”

Development standards at 8 years old

An eight-year-old child must meet certain development standards: physical, social, mental.

Physical development

At the age of eight years, the formation of the child’s skeleton, muscles and joints has not yet been completed. The hand may get tired from writing for a long time, especially after a long break - for example, after the summer holidays. But compared to the first year of school, children are able to write for quite a long time without complaining of fatigue.

The nervous system of eight-year-olds is also not fully formed: due to insufficient nervous regulation of movements, children do not cope well with writing small letters. For now, it’s easier for them to write large letters and use large details in drawings.

The child’s posture needs special attention: the children’s musculoskeletal system is subject to a large load due to prolonged periods of sitting. It is important to ensure the correct position of the student at the desk or table: knees at right angles, elbows entirely on the table, back straight, but not tense.

In the area of ​​physical development, eight-year-old children on average can:

• sit without getting up for 25 minutes or longer;
• hit the basketball hoop with the ball while being at a short distance from it;
• It’s good to ride a bike that is appropriate for your age;
• play outdoor games, strictly following the rules;
• bend without losing balance from standing and sitting positions.

The bones of the lower extremities of younger schoolchildren are still fragile - to avoid injuries, it is necessary to exclude physical activity where a sharp landing on the feet is expected.

Height and weight standards

According to WHO, the average weight of an eight-year-old child is 27 kilograms, and the average height is 130 centimeters. Normally, the weight of a particular eight-year-old child may differ from the average by 5 kilograms more or less, and height may be less or more than the average by 6 centimeters.

How much a child will weigh at 8 years old depends primarily on diet; heredity plays a minor role here. The opposite situation is with height: short parents are unlikely to produce a tall heir.

If the weight of your son or daughter does not fit into the range of 22-32 kilograms, or if the child’s height is less than 124 centimeters, consult a pediatrician who will be able to determine whether the child is developing normally and, if necessary, give the correct recommendations.

Read more about weight and height standards here.

Hysterics

If a child once tried the hysterical method and it was successful (he got what he wanted), then, without a doubt, the baby will use this method of manipulating parents and grandmothers often. Therefore, if a naughty child suddenly begins to organize “concerts”, beating his head on the floor and walls, screaming, literally, until he turns blue in the face, the best way is not to pay attention, says Evgeny Komarovsky.

If there is no spectator in the person of mom or dad, then the baby simply has no motivation for hysterics. If he screams, you need to leave the room where the “drama” is unfolding; if he fights, put a pillow to make it softer and leave the room. For parents, this stage is the most difficult.

There is no need to be afraid that the child will suffocate during a tantrum, even if he shows with all his appearance that this is about to happen. Children, according to Komarovsky, often when crying exhale the entire supply of air from their lungs, including reserve air, this causes a long pause before inhaling. If serious concerns arise, you just need to blow in the baby’s face - he will reflexively take a breath.

Social development and everyday skills

At eight years old, if a child previously regularly attended preschool and now goes to school, he is already well socialized. Eight-year-olds enjoy learning new things, but at the same time they feel the need to follow established rules. Children at this age are open and responsive, which facilitates the socialization process.

What a child should be able to do by the age of eight in the field of social and everyday skills:

• behave in accordance with accepted rules at school, at home, in public institutions;
• know how different household appliances function: kettle, washing machine, vacuum cleaner and others;
• strive for independence: do simple homework without help, take care of yourself at home if possible;
• despite the desire to cope on one’s own, willingly and kindly accept help if the task is too difficult;
• keep your room in order: make the bed, wipe the dust, vacuum;
• help in the kitchen: wash dishes, reheat prepared food in the microwave, set the table;
• if you have a cat, dog or other pet, help take care of it, for example, feed it on time;
• understand what clothes are suitable for the weather outside the window, dress without the help of adults in correctly selected wardrobe items.

Life hack for parents: find the right motivation for your child so that he helps you around the house, takes care of himself and his things, and does his homework on time. Together, come up with a desired goal for which the child will save by completing tasks from the parent. The “Where are my children” application and the new “Children’s Tasks” feature help you do this!

How to make a child obey (how to behave if a child does not obey): 6 simple rules

1. Exhale and soberly assess the situation before yelling and punishing for disobedience. What exactly do you not like about your child’s behavior? Is he really doing something dangerous to him? Or interferes with your comfort and makes you feel uncomfortable in front of others? If a child deserves your reproach, think in advance what you will tell him, how to explain his mistake in a language that the child can understand.

Therefore, it is important to calm down and weigh the severity of the offense. Thus, perhaps you will not make a mistake, do not overdo it in punishment

1. Conversation "eye to eye". Sit down at your child's eye level. He shouldn't feel your obvious dominance.

1. Alternative. For every “cannot” there should be a “possible”. And it’s even better if you don’t use prohibiting words at all, but immediately offer an alternative. Well, for example, instead of the phrase “You can’t run across the road by yourself,” say “You can only cross the road hand in hand with adults.”
2. Instructions, not orders. Every order and demanding tone violates the child’s personal boundaries. And it is not surprising if the child’s reaction is to resist and rebel against this violation of his boundaries.

But by explaining in detail what and how can be done instead of what you don’t want, the child will learn and grasp much more than you think.

1. Scold without a name. What does this mean: the child must love himself and his name. Try to call the child by name when praising him, and when blaming him you can use “sunny”, “bunny”, “son”.
2. No blackmail. Well, admit it, you probably said: “If you behave like this, I will be upset (offended).” This is pure blackmail. Now imagine 10 years later, using your personal example, a child tells you: “If you don’t buy a new tablet, I’ll leave home.” So what do you think?

Intellectual development

Eight-year-old children are bombarded with a new flow of information - younger schoolchildren are constantly writing, reading, solving examples and problems. Due to the fact that classes are not held in a playful way, intellectual skills change: children master observation and analysis, learn to compare and draw analogies.

School assessments, which students typically first encounter at age eight, encourage children to develop intellectual skills to ensure they don't perform worse than their peers.

Features of timely intellectual development of a child at eight years old:

• understands cause-and-effect relationships well and establishes them himself, for example: “I won’t let Vanya look at the new phone (reason) - then he won’t let me ride a bike (effect)”;
• speech becomes one of the main tools for the development of thinking: with the help of a rich vocabulary, the child compares, remembers, and draws conclusions;
• perseverance and the ability to concentrate on the same, not always interesting, activity develop (at least 20 minutes continuously);
• is interested in various professions and hobbies, imagines what he will become when he grows up;
• understands why dangerous situations arise outside the home: is familiar with the rules of the road, knows about the dangers of communicating with strangers;
• is well oriented on familiar routes, can roughly determine the time spent on a certain action, for example: “I walked home for fifteen minutes”;
• learning skills are more confident compared to the first year of study: the student writes legibly, reads not syllable by syllable, confidently counts to one hundred, solves two-step problems;
• remembers poems consisting of 3-4 quatrains;
• Using the instructions, he can assemble a construction set containing 500 or more parts, knows how to play intellectual board games (chess, Scrabble) and enjoys the game.

What can you do to get a student interested?

Depending on the child’s personal characteristics, you can play games together to develop memory, concentration, attentiveness, observation, and logic. Role-playing games with images of characters from your favorite books, films and cartoons are useful. There are many exciting board games designed for this age.

As for toys, in addition to traditional dolls and cars, items and materials for creativity are relevant: construction sets, puzzles, puzzles, plasticine, clay.

Mental development

The children's psyche in general is highly dependent on external factors, and the psyche of eight-year-olds is especially susceptible to outside influence.

In shaping the character of a child at the age of eight, upbringing plays an important role: adult family members simply need to set an example with actions, and not just words - at this age, children perfectly notice when a person’s words and actions contradict each other.

At the age of eight, play finally fades into the background, and study turns into the main activity. The high excitability of the brain, characteristic of preschool age, is smoothed out, thanks to which the child is able to behave in accordance with social norms: he knows how to behave with adults and peers, and resolves conflicts peacefully.

Mental characteristics that indicate the correct development of an eight-year-old schoolchild:

• impulsive behavior disappears completely or almost completely: for example, the well-known scandals in stores with begging for toys no longer happen;
• self-esteem intensifies, an acute reaction to criticism is possible;
• manifestations of spontaneity characteristic of children disappear: for example, eight-year-olds understand that it is not customary to contact strangers without reason.

Violence

Many parents use violence as a pill to achieve obedience. It can be both emotional and physical. A strong person puts pressure on a weak person, depriving him of his will. Often parents raise their hands against their children, putting pressure on them with actions and words. They forcibly suppress the baby's emotions through punishment. When a child contradicts parental rules, that’s when his opinion is ignored

No matter how old a little person is, he will face physical or emotional punishment if he does not obey

Why is all this being done? So that a well-mannered person grows up? Using violence, the child begins to be afraid to express his opinion, to refuse the elder. The baby will have a hard life in the future. He will be afraid of being special or making a mistake when choosing the meaning of his whole life. Thus, you are raising a slave who will obey, fall under bad influence, and do whatever he is ordered. Everyone who is in trouble will wipe their feet on it. When a child does not obey, no matter how angry you are, violence should not be part of your parenting plans.

Psychology of a child at 8 years old

When children turn eight years old, they feel like adults: they can doubt their parents’ words and look for new authorities outside the family. A younger schoolchild becomes more interested in spending time with other children than with members of his family; sometimes the opinion of friends is assessed by an eight-year-old as more significant compared to the opinion of mom and dad.

The peculiarities of the psychology of a child at the age of eight are that he reaches the peak of independence and needs confirmation of this independence. It is during this period that parents can permanently discourage their son or daughter from doing something on their own. Eight-year-old children are smart enough to understand that there is no need to strain and perform boring tasks themselves if adults are ready to do everything.

Of course, younger schoolchildren often need help, but in order for the child to continue to strive for independence, parents only need to help the child, but not do everything for him .

The main character traits by this age have been formed and consolidated, so personality development comes first. Children understand what is good and what is bad from personal experience, and not from the words of adults. Personal examples for children are much more significant than discussions about correct behavior: for example, if parents talk about how important it is to be safe on the road, but cross the street themselves without waiting for the traffic light, the child will quickly understand that doing so is acceptable.

The self-esteem of eight-year-olds is fragile, and can fluctuate from low to quite high with a difference of literally one month. Inflated self-esteem at this age is already rare compared to earlier periods.

Sex education

Starting from the age of eight, younger schoolchildren show increased interest in the opposite sex and the nuances of relations between the sexes.
A child who trusts his parents may begin to ask questions about the relationship between husband and wife, about where children come from. Such interest is natural for the age of eight and should neither frighten nor embarrass parents. A junior schoolchild does not yet need too detailed explanations about the differences between male and female physiology and details about the sexual side of marriage. It is enough for an eight-year-old to talk about the physiological changes characteristic of his gender and that await him very soon, and to highlight the features of the relationship between husband and wife, focusing on the moral basis of family relationships.

Having not found an answer to the pressing questions from mom and dad, the student will probably go looking for information from his peers or on the Internet. As a result, the child runs the risk of receiving unreliable and sometimes traumatic information about the relationship between the sexes and his own physiology. For example, among middle school students there are widespread myths that virgins do not menstruate, and during the first sexual intercourse in life it is impossible to get pregnant... And this is despite the modern availability of any information!

How to raise a child at 8 years old?

The best education is personal example. The British even have a proverb on this topic: “Don’t raise children, educate yourself, they will still be like you.”

Actions that will help parents raise their son or daughter at eight years old as a harmoniously developed personality:

1. Keep an eye on your child’s social circle—his peers may not set the best examples. If you categorically don’t like one of your son’s or daughter’s friends, try not to put pressure or prohibit communication, but draw the child’s attention to the fact that his new friend may behave contrary to generally accepted moral standards.
2. Learn to evaluate your own behavior. If a child has committed a crime - and this inevitably happens to all children - ask him to analyze his behavior and try to explain the reasons for what happened.
3. To avoid losing trust during adolescence, try to spend more time with your child now. These don’t have to be only intellectual activities - you can walk together, play sports, watch movies and cartoons.
4. Treat your younger student as a full member of the family - consult and ask his opinion on some family matters.
5. It can be difficult for parents to instill in their eight-year-old the necessary everyday skills - it’s faster and easier to do everything yourself. Try not to relieve your son or daughter of household responsibilities, otherwise the child will have to learn how to manage life from scratch when he grows up.

Also, do not forget about the safety of the child. After all, eight-year-olds are often left without parental supervision: at school, on the street, with friends, and so on. Some at this age already walk around the city alone. In order not to worry about your child, install the “Where are my children” application. With it, you can see where the child is and what route he is following, listen to what is happening around him, and quickly call in any situation!

Advice from psychologists

Every family has its own principles for raising children. It seems to parents that their education system is correct. But sometimes shortcomings in upbringing negatively affect the character and behavior in society of an adult child. To avoid mistakes, psychologists advise:

1. Lead by example. It is difficult to prove to a boy that women need to be respected if his father constantly scolds and humiliates his mother. The same goes for bad habits, attitudes towards sports and studies.
2. Give freedom. Most mothers try to protect their children from danger, mistakes and troubles. This is an instinctive desire to protect your child. And that's okay. But you shouldn’t do everything instead of your son, even a little one. From childhood he must learn to be independent. He should be allowed to eat, dress, run and jump on his own. Even if after this you have to clean up, cover up broken knees, and console. In addition, it is important to give the boy freedom of choice and decision-making.

   
   You shouldn’t decide everything for the child, otherwise he will grow up to be an infantile creature not adapted to real life.

3. Be an example or help find one. A boy needs to look up to an adult male. If the father, for any reason, cannot serve as a worthy role model, you should help find such a person. This could be an uncle, grandfather or sports coach. An example would be a literary character or a famous person.
4. Create harmony in the family. Regardless of age, every person needs the love and support of loved ones. If a father and mother respect and love each other and their children, then this is the best environment for the development of a harmonious, mentally strong personality.
5. Teach and encourage the expression of emotions. Men, like women, can and should show emotions. Hugs, kisses, kind words are their manifestations. You shouldn’t impose on a boy the stereotype that men don’t cry. Sometimes even a serious adult man needs to cry.
   Important!

   Of course, you shouldn’t encourage your child to solve everything with tears. He should be taught to cope with emotions and react to insult or failure in a different way.

6. Accept your son's individuality. If a boy doesn’t like football or men’s sports, this is not critical. Let him dance, draw, sing, play musical instruments. It's not just girls who are creative.
7. Teach the boy to accept defeat with dignity and admit his mistakes. Making mistakes is not shameful, but even useful. The main thing is to be able to learn a lesson and move on.

See also:

How to teach a child to count examples within 10 and 20?