No matter what anyone says, friendship between the sexes exists. Simply because we are not cavemen living at the mercy of instincts and the harsh realities of evolution, but first of all people: with feelings, reason and social norms of behavior. If you are lucky enough to have a friend of the opposite sex, then let the friendship happen, and to avoid drama and a hopeless friend zone for one of you, here are some tips for you on how to not let the situation get out of control.
Be careful with your words and actions
If you're in love with someone, then you know what it's like to say and do things completely thoughtlessly, giving in to your feelings. But in a platonic relationship, such actions can be confusing and confusing. As a result, you will be left in the cold or ruin your friendship with the guy with whom you have so much in common.
What are the benefits of mixed friendships?
For those who do not understand why mixed friendships arise, we can demonstrate a number of its advantages.
- Such relationships are more comfortable from a psychological point of view. Due to the difference in logic and psychology, many questions are removed if friendship has already been built.
- For those who are lonely, a friend can visually replace the absence of a partner. This allows you to avoid giving others a reason to recognize the lady as a loser.
- The format allows you to better study the habits and psychology of your partner, which improves relationships within the family. If you already have a spouse, his brother’s view of the situation allows you to more successfully resolve conflict or confusing situations.
- There is rarely a reason for envy, because... any differences are easily attributed to gender. Making friends without envy is much easier.
- You can always call upon masculine power to solve complex issues. Repairs, moving, heavy things, car breakdown - a friend is less useful here. This does not mean that a woman should take advantage of a man. But the friendship bonus is nice.
Such relationships also have disadvantages. It must be remembered that by surrounding herself with such friends, the lady deprives other gentlemen of the opportunity to express themselves. If she is not married, there is a risk of being lonely.
Decide on the boundaries of what is permitted
Having a guy as a friend is a wonderful experience, but as you know, the spark can light up between you completely unexpectedly. If you do not want to ruin your relationship with a person whose friendship you are counting on, you both need to determine some limit of what is permitted between you.
For some, watching TV shows while hugging is completely natural and unromantic; for others, showing intimacy can lead to falling in love, and then the friend zone cannot be avoided. To prevent romantic attraction from arising, determine immediately what actions will be considered by others as manifestations of feelings other than friendship.
Nothing like a date
Friendship presupposes special equality. This means that you are not a guy and a girl, which means don’t expect him to pay for you in a cafe, don’t walk around his house in the same T-shirt and don’t organize joint leisure time that would resemble a romantic date, except maybe without sex. This is very important if you want to maintain a platonic relationship with someone who you think is trying to seduce you. Stay friendly and don't agree to offers that sound like invitations to action.
Don't manipulate
Male attention is extremely important for girls, because the more interesting guys there are around, the more options you have. But if you want to maintain a friendly relationship with someone, don't resort to manipulation based on the fact that you are good and he is a guy who cannot resist your charm. You shouldn’t bolster your self-esteem at the expense of your friend’s feelings, otherwise you might lose him.
The opposite type to a careerist is a “simpleton”, or a naive butterfly
Such women show helplessness, incompetence in life's affairs and decisions, weakness, inexperience - and often greatly overplay their hand in this. They can be described by the following epithets: feminine, tender, soft. They also have a corresponding appearance - a sort of image of an airy, unearthly creature in a white dress, with an open mouth and innocently flapping eyes. They admire men’s skills (which is very flattering to men), agree with them in everything, and any incomprehensible object causes these women to ask: “What is this thing?” At first, men like this behavior, it makes them feel competent, confident in the company of such a woman, capable of solving her problems, protecting the poor thing from the evil world. Men feel tenderness towards the baby, good-natured condescension, for example, helping an inept butterfly with something. But over time, the moth's helplessness begins to bore and irritate them.
Don't treat him like a friend
Platonic relationships may seem interesting because since there is no romance between you, you can allow yourself to be as natural as possible. Such naturalness often leads to the fact that girls begin to treat their friends as if they were friends. Remember that he is a guy, which means you shouldn't discuss anything with him that will make him feel awkward. Respect his interests and find a compromise instead of doing things with him that are normal for girls but completely pointless for guys.
How to get out of the girlfriend zone: 6 tips
Don't panic! None of this means you are doomed. It doesn't matter how long you love your friend. You can always make your relationship with a man turn 180 degrees and flow in the direction of love and passion, as you dreamed of.
- Expand your social circle. Take time to meet new people, make friends and tell your man about the new phase of your life. Show him that your world doesn't revolve around him. A little competition and a keen interest in your new hobbies can make him more interested in you and your life.
- Add a little mystery. Liven up your “friendship” by spicing it up with a little intrigue. From time to time, disappear from the radar, hold back, end meetings at the most interesting place, do not report to him point by point where you were, with whom and what you did during the day. Fuel his interest with mystery: let him earn the right to know something about you.
- Let him feel like a man. Make him feel needed, strong, in control; ask for help with repairs, advice on some men’s issues, etc. Instead of always doing things for him, why not encourage him to do things for you? It may seem strange, but people develop deeper feelings for you when they do you a favor. It's about allowing them to invest in you, not themselves.
- Include femininity. Externally and internally radiate lightness, confidence, accuracy and tenderness. Watch your speech, voice timbre, body language. Change into a woman's stylish wardrobe while leaving genderless items in your closet. In your behavior, do not be afraid to appear fragile and helpless - after all, we are the weaker sex!
- Add sensuality and sexuality to yourself. You can be attractive and sexy, but not sensual. A sensual woman, thanks to her languid, alluring energy, captivates a man, awakens in him a volcano of emotions and sensations, against which his nature is unable to resist. Experience sensual movements, exciting glances, light, exciting touches. Tease his imagination with phrases like: “I’m in a hammock” or “I’ll take a bath” - let him dream.
- Stop acting like a friend. Constant help, actions to please him and to the detriment of yourself, unpleasant conversations about other women, friendly and brotherly relationships and others like them - let this remain a thing of the past from now on. Show sincere concern for him, deeper than neutral-positive. Amaze him with how different you can be - sometimes uncomfortable, unpredictable, but an amazing and sexy Woman!
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Don't count on feelings
This item is useful not only for girls, but also for guys who have friendly relations with the opposite sex. The fact that you communicate so closely does not mean that one of you is in love.
Guys want to win as many girls as possible, and girls like to be attractive to guys, but if you're friends, remember this and don't count on feelings, at least until they actually show up.
Part 2. It is useless to deceive your woman
I'll move on to the second part of the article. What will we talk about below? Of course, not just about the obvious fact that you need to stop deceiving your woman)) More precisely, this way - of course, if you are in a couple/family and have a serious relationship, then you should not deceive a woman. The main thing is:
IT IS USELESS TO CHEAT YOUR WOMAN
Keep in mind that if you returned home from another woman's bed, your wife already knows about it. Not because a private detective reported to her or because you have lipstick marks on your collar. It’s just that any normal woman’s intuition and emotional intelligence are much better developed than a man’s, and she reads almost everything from you. While it seems to the average man that if a person is silent and keeps a “poker face,” he does not give out any information about himself. And this is a deep male delusion... The situation is aggravated by the fact that, unfortunately, most women in Russia are raised in such a way that they will not tell you about everything they feel, especially if the feelings are negative. And even more so if these feelings are connected with you. Therefore, you risk falling into a deep illusion, thinking that if a woman is silent and does not show it, then she does not understand that you are deceiving her... Many men fall for this bait, and unsuccessful attempts to deceive their woman turn into a bad habit. As you understand, there is nothing but harm in this for either her or you.
However, I repeat, in fact, a woman reads EVERYTHING from you at every second and knows much more about you than you think. Look how, for example, it can look (the film “Loves - Loves Not” with Svetlana Khodchenkova):
So, friend, there is no point in lying or hiding something from your beloved. You'll get burned anyway :))) And, by the way, returning to the topic of friendship between a man and a woman - you don't have to worry about your beloved's brain, for example, about a meeting with a “friend” over a cup of coffee that means nothing to you and convince your wife, like, “she’s just a friend to me.” I also don’t advise you to keep this from your beloved because, like, it’s like a “friend”, what’s the big deal, why tell her, upset her once again, you never know – she’ll get jealous, etc. What do I recommend then? I advise you to eliminate the reasons for such conversations or reticence in the bud - simply get rid of such female friends. Your woman will still feel everything as it really is, no matter what you tell her or don’t tell her. Therefore, your task is to make sure that your woman does not learn anything from you, but so that she does not feel anything . And a woman feels nothing only when there is nothing that she could feel . Therefore, option one is to eliminate all female friends.
REMEMBER : IF YOUR WOMAN IS SILENT AND DOES NOT GIVE OUT HER SUSPECTIONS, THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT SHE DOESN’T FEEL ANYTHING OR UNDERSTANDS...
Is withholding the truth also a lie?
Guys, I recently completed a short training on detecting lies during communication. Just think, it turns out that from a scientific point of view, deliberate suppression of the truth is a lie . True, this is a softer version of a lie, but that doesn’t stop it being a lie. I'm freaking out, to be honest...
In addition, it turned out that:
LIES FOR A LYING PERSON ALWAYS STRESS.
Always. It is on this principle that a lie detector (polygraph) works. If anyone is not aware, the lie detector itself does not report the fact of lying, it only registers the presence of a stress reaction of the subject . And then a polygraph examiner gets involved in the work, whose task is to correctly interpret the results and distinguish stress due to lies from just stress. I was also very surprised by this fact “lie = stress”. It immediately follows that
BIOLOGICALLY, IT IS NOT MAN'S NATURE TO LIE, FOR HIM IT IS ALWAYS A FOREIGN PROCESS.
So the biblical commandment number 9: DO NOT LIE exists for a reason...
The conclusions and recommendations from here are brief and obvious - the fewer outright lies, reticences, and omissions in communicating with a woman, the stronger and more harmonious your relationship .
