How to properly apologize to your husband, and when to do it
An apology from a wife addressed to her husband should always be sincere. However, women often forget about this. As a result, they begin to ask for forgiveness automatically, without thinking about how true their words sound.
Here, of course, everything depends on the seriousness of the quarrel. If we are talking about a minor everyday conflict, then it can be resolved with the help of humor. A girl can joke about the divorce, defuse the situation, and only then apologize. If the conflict was extremely serious, humor alone will not do. In such situations, you will have to act carefully, and most importantly, on time.
There is no need to delay reconciliation for a long time. One or two days is enough for a man and a woman to analyze the situation. If, due to her own pride, the wife does not apologize for several weeks, the quarrel is likely to escalate into something more.
However, you shouldn’t rush too much. It is better to resolve minor conflicts immediately, but it is better to talk about reconciliation in serious cases separately.
Joking messages
Also, when a man is wrong or a woman is wrong, but the quarrel was not so serious, you can apologize in a joking manner.
This will only allow you to thoroughly defuse the situation and receive forgiveness faster. Don’t know how to apologize beautifully through phone messages so that your loved one will like it? Read further:
- The big toe and little toe on my right foot are still shaking convulsively from the overwhelming shame that I could do this to you today! Even in the mirror, instead of reflecting myself, I see a donkey with incredibly huge ears. I promise not to offend you like that again, I'm sorry...
- I miss you very much, because now I can’t take out the trash, clean up and vacuum the apartment on my own. I'm sorry…
- I can’t sleep, I can’t think, I can’t work, I can’t drink, I can’t eat, all my RAM is occupied by files only about you, and the rest of the programs are completely frozen. Forgive me, otherwise I will need a complete reboot.
It is not at all necessary to ask for an apology solely by sending an SMS to your husband or wife. Together you can, for example, jokingly bury the hatchet of war (your quarrel) in the yard.
Creating the right environment
The surest way to achieve forgiveness is to try to do it beautifully and sincerely. That is why psychologists advise paying attention to the following points:
- create an atmosphere of romance with candles and a set table;
- choose your most chic outfit for your apology in order to look attractive in the eyes of a man;
- give him a touching gift, for example, an album with all the photos together;
- buy a man a thing that he had dreamed of for a very long time, but did not dare to buy it.
If a woman doesn’t just apologize, but gets really romantic about it, the man will definitely appreciate such a step. The fact is that the representatives of the stronger sex usually do romantic, beautiful things. If a woman does it, it’s always memorable.
An apology in your own words
Another important point that directly affects a woman’s sincerity is the words that she will utter. In this case, psychologists advise avoiding memorized phrases and insincere proposals. It will be much better if a woman says only what she is thinking, even if there is a risk of saying too much unnecessary things. You just need to draw up a rough plan for the conversation, but do not memorize the speech. If a person has realized his guilt and really sincerely wants to ask for forgiveness for it, the words will come by themselves.
Gift for the purpose of reconciliation
It will be great if the words “Sorry, dear” are supported by a bouquet of flowers or a gift. Let the gift be small, the main thing is that it is chosen with love and care. Perhaps it will be something symbolic, for example, paired figurines or figurines.
A good option could be tickets to the theater, cinema or concert, a certificate to a beauty salon or spa. You can also invite your girlfriend to a restaurant that she has long wanted to visit, but never had the time or opportunity, or arrange a romantic candlelit dinner at home. Moreover, it is not necessary that the gift that will complement the words of forgiveness be expensive. Rather, on the contrary, overly pretentious gifts can be regarded as a bribe.
Build your dialogue correctly: say not “we” or “you”, but “I”
Very often, even when asking for forgiveness, women manage to defend their point of view. They find it difficult to admit they are wrong, and therefore the apology seems forced. What advice can psychologists give in this case?
- Do not try to directly or indirectly blame your significant other, claiming that it was his actions that provoked the quarrel.
- There is no need to defend yourself during an apology or try to shield your own actions.
- Also, you should not shift the blame to third parties, as this best shows a person’s weakness.
- When apologizing, you should not make threats about separation if there is no reconciliation.
It is very difficult to apologize to a loved one after a major quarrel. And if at the same time he tries to justify himself, without admitting his own guilt in his soul, this turns out to be almost impossible. If a girl decides to repent, she should be extremely sincere, without trying to shift responsibility for the quarrel to anyone.
Another mistake is trying to issue ultimatums. “I'll apologize if you don't do anything anymore” is the wrong attitude. Setting conditions always implies that the person does not consider himself guilty.
Examples of requests
The apology process is quite complex. Many people psychologically cannot tune in to it and find the right words. To pronounce them clearly, you need to prepare in advance. If necessary, they can be learned by heart.
I regret
Regret indicates that a person has admitted that they were wrong. He is ashamed that he made such a mistake, thereby causing pain to his beloved partner. For greater persuasiveness, you can use gestures, touches or glances.
I was wrong
Realizing that you are wrong and communicating this to your partner shows that your spouse is endowed with wisdom and has a mature character. Admitting guilt does not mean humiliating a woman in front of a man. Rarely anyone can do this. Few people are able to sincerely and easily admit their mistake.
READ What to do if your husband insults and humiliates: finding out the reasons and advice from psychologists
I'll fix everything
To make amends, you need to correct the situation. The partner will appreciate remorse and sincerity. The choice of method should take into account the individual characteristics of the spouse. For example, a delicious dinner, a souvenir for the car, a book by your favorite author, an invitation to a romantic date, an unforgettable night will do. The partner must feel that his wife still loves him.
I repent of what I did
There are people for whom regret is not enough. To understand how to beg forgiveness from such a husband, you need to show him deep repentance. It will cleanse the soul of the wife herself.
I need your forgiveness
It is important for some men to see their spouse’s desire to receive his forgiveness. If she shows him this, he will believe that her apology is sincere and important. To forgive or not is a personal matter for the partner.
Show that you are upset
If a woman for some reason managed to offend a man, she must show not only the truthfulness of repentance, but also sincere frustration. A man must understand that a woman regrets what happened and wants to make amends.
The best way to demonstrate this is through tears. It is also necessary to spend all evenings at home, remain silent, and rarely smile. In this case, the man will understand that his beloved is in a bad mood, and all because of the recent quarrel. His heart will melt if a woman shows sincere sad emotions.
Apologize to improve family relationships: how to act in specific cases
Correctly resolving a scandal is very difficult, and here it is necessary to proceed not only from how much the man was offended, but also from how serious the problem was. We will try to analyze several popular cases, telling you how to apologize in each of them.
If grievances have been accumulating for years and have found their way out
Sometimes women endure for a very long time, and then they break down because of these understatements, betrayal, claims, and even hatred towards each other arise. How to apologize in this case?
- After such a major scandal, it is necessary not to see each other for some time. Next, when both partners have cooled down, you can move on to dialogue, and this means live communication.
- Mutual claims should be avoided, and it is better to generally talk about abstract topics.
- A woman should apologize through a long and thoughtful speech. Romantic surprises or simply the word “sorry” will not work here.
- It is necessary to show maximum sincerity, while noting that the family should not be destroyed.
Psychologists advise not to accumulate resentment within yourself for too long. It is better to give them a way out during the conversation and try to clarify the situation. Then the risk of a sudden conflict developing up to divorce proceedings will be lower.
If you mess up badly: how to make it clear that you can be trusted again
In case of a really serious problem, you should never make excuses. In this situation, the man must see that his beloved has changed and no longer wants to make the same mistakes.
In this situation, psychologists advise resorting to the following tricks:
- express your love to a man every day with the help of small gifts, pleasant SMS;
- do not lose your temper and seem like an ideal woman;
- completely eliminate the factor that caused the quarrel;
- try to make amends by becoming an ideal wife in economic and sexual terms;
- constantly remind the man of happy moments together;
- invariably apologize in a variety of ways.
If a woman cheated, committed an offensive or vile act, you should not expect forgiveness at that very moment. Most likely, reconciliation will have to be literally forced out. In such a situation, a man must see the sincerity and perseverance of his beloved. If the spouse persists, it means she is really ready to change for the sake of her lover and wants to save the marriage.
Accepting the other person's reaction
No matter how much is done to ensure reconciliation occurs, one should not expect it to happen immediately. Moreover, a woman may never forgive. Some actions, such as betrayal or assault, are perceived differently by everyone. What is acceptable for one person is impossible for another under any circumstances and cannot be forgiven. Remember, the offended party does not owe you anything. Perhaps your loved one will be angry for a very long time, you also need to be prepared for this. The main task is to be patient and not give up. You need to try to be heard.
Apologies in SMS: when are they relevant?
Of course, it’s easier to write that cherished word “sorry” in the form of an SMS than to say it in reality. However, this method of admitting one’s guilt is relevant only when the girl’s guilt was not too great.
After a slight argument, you can apologize via SMS. If a woman creates too many restrictions for a man or takes too many liberties, this is also true.
However, in no case should you apologize in this way in case of serious quarrels. If a woman decides to cheat, even a hundred text messages will not help her restore the trust of her lover. In such situations, you will have to ask for forgiveness personally and for quite a long time.
Poems about forgiveness
Girls are very romantic by nature, so asking for forgiveness in poetry will be a very good idea.
How to ask for forgiveness in verse?
It would be ideal if you manage to compose at least a short poem for your beloved. But for those who do not have the talent or ideas for this, you can use the Internet and choose the most suitable option. You can also find a poem with the name of the one whose forgiveness you need to receive.
How to apologize to a man so that he forgives
There is no universal advice on this topic. However, there are several points that will surely guarantee a girl’s success. Here are just a few of them:
- to apologize, you should choose the right moment when both partners are focused on conversation;
- a woman should not over-justify herself or make unrealistic promises;
- also, you should not blame your spouse or shift the blame to third parties;
- there is no need to demand forgiveness from your husband at the same moment, especially after a serious quarrel.
If there was deception in the relationship, if there was room for betrayal or abuse, you should not count on immediate forgiveness. However, if partners sincerely love each other, they will still come to reconciliation. This may not happen right away.
Realities of life
Quarrels, conflicts, groundless disputes are one of the sides of any relationship. For married couples who tried to get around them, this did not add strength to their relationships. Mood, physical condition, loss of strength, even a bad dream - affect us. It's impossible to be perfect.
Stability comes only from the willingness to accept a partner to others. Quarrels cannot be avoided. We need to learn to put up. Respect and accept your boundaries and those of your partner. Learn to withstand your emotions and the emotions of others. Be able to discuss and negotiate.
Is it worth apologizing to a man at all: advice from a psychologist
It was already mentioned earlier that some ladies believe that apologies are a man’s lot, and they themselves should not utter such words at all. Psychologists consider this approach completely wrong.
If a woman knows about her guilt and sees how much what happened hurt a man, she is obliged to apologize. This may hurt pride, but it will save a happy union. You should not apologize in situations where the man is solely to blame. Here it is important to remember about personal pride and try to get a representative of the stronger sex to admit his guilt.
Apologies are not easy for everyone, especially if the reason for them is serious. However, an original gift, a romantic present, and most importantly, sincere words can melt a man’s heart. You just need to pronounce and organize all this in a timely manner.
Tatyana, Obninsk
