How to get people to like you: Pexels Some people have the ability to attract the attention of others at first sight. How do they manage to seem interesting? What do you need for this - a beautiful face, an open look, or something else? Popular psychologist Mikhail Litvak, professor Jack Shafer and other experts know how to arouse sympathy in a person and quickly make friends.
Express your thoughts correctly
A monotonous story with many unnecessary details will bore anyone, even if the story is about the most interesting events of your life. Therefore, it is necessary to develop the ability to clearly and clearly express your thoughts.
Beware of constant repetition of the same phrases and do not return to the beginning of the monologue, even to clarify some important detail. It’s better to immediately formulate the main idea and present it to your interlocutor, adding some colorful descriptions and details.
An excellent answer to the question of how to make people like you would be to joke more and make others laugh. But be careful, as sometimes this can be completely inappropriate. Show your sense of humor if you are sure the joke will not offend the other person, and avoid controversial topics such as religion or politics.
Talk about what people are interested in
The author of the bestselling book “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” Dale Carnegie, claims that there is an easy way to win someone over - just become an interested listener. Touch on a topic that interests your interlocutor and listen carefully to his story.
Networking expert (activities to create useful social connections) and blogger Maxim Chernov recommends being an active listener. To do this, it is important to show sincere interest in the conversation:
- ask questions, but do not turn communication into interrogation;
- develop a conversation;
- find common ground (this could be interesting work projects, hobbies);
- express approval;
- do not jump to topics that are more interesting to you;
- no distractions.
If you want to please a person, don't look at your smartphone to check your mailbox or messages on social networks. Remember to make constant eye contact. Look the person in the eyes, so show interest not only in the topic of conversation, but also in the interlocutor.
How to Get People to Like You: Pexels
Have your own distinctive features
Each person is individual and you are no exception. In order to be immediately remembered in an unfamiliar society, you need to have striking features that will become your calling card. People close to you appreciate your inner world, but those who see you for the first time will pay attention to external characteristics. There are many people in the world with very different tastes and preferences, so it will not be possible to please everyone without exception. But an interesting look, an unusual accessory or a fashionable hairstyle can help you become more attractive.
No matter how beautiful a person is, people will not like him if he has nothing more than his appearance. Think about what qualities you value in yourself and what character traits can attract others. Perhaps it is a big, unusual goal that you work hard to achieve, or an exciting hobby. Tell people about this, and then they will become interested in your rich inner world and will probably feel sympathy for you.
Watch your body language
The ability to please people and evoke sympathy guarantees success in almost any area of life. However, making the desired impression on others is not so easy.
There are a number of effective ways to please people. One of them is to monitor your posture and body language. Tilting your head, raising your eyebrows, and gesturing will help you position the person. Jack Schafer talks about this in the book “Turning on Charm Using the Secret Services Method: Recommendations from the FBI.”
According to Shafer, from a conversation a person receives only a third of the information about the interlocutor, the rest is read non-verbally. If you want to please your interlocutor, your body language, posture and gaze must inspire confidence. To win someone over at first glance, use the following techniques:
- Tilt your head slightly to the left or right. The interlocutor will perceive this as a signal of trust. By tilting our heads, we send a nonverbal signal to the person that we do not expect danger from him.
- Move smoothly and slowly. Try to repeat the gestures and facial expressions of your interlocutor. Thus, on a subconscious level, you will seem similar to him and will evoke positive emotions and sympathy. The effectiveness of this “trick” is discussed in the book “NLP for Every Day. 20 rules of a winner” by world-famous psychologist Eva Berger.
- Take care of good posture. Straighten your back, straighten your shoulders, don't slouch. This will indicate to the interlocutor that you are confident and competent.
- “Play” with your eyebrows. When communicating with loved ones, people automatically raise their eyebrows for a split second. This is a kind of manifestation of joy and sympathy. Do the same when you first meet a person, and he is guaranteed to feel sympathy.
Don't cross your arms over your chest. Such a defensive position will give off tension and produce an undesirable effect. To inspire trust and sympathy, open your palms and wrists.
How to Get People to Like You: Pexels
Be in a good mood
If you want to please your interlocutor, be in a good mood. According to Australian psychologist Ryan Anderson, the human brain responds to positive emotions by releasing endorphins. This helps improve your mood and relaxation. People pick up on this attitude and subconsciously adjust their behavior to it.
By smiling and showing others your positive attitude, you show:
- friendliness;
- sincerity;
- openness;
- calm mood;
- sympathy.
Even a barely noticeable smile is attractive and makes a person more attractive in the eyes of the interlocutor. This social signal speaks of the decency and good intentions of the counterpart and encourages further communication.
How to Get People to Like You: Pexels
Accept other people's views on life
No matter how much one would like it, people cannot be alike in everything. You will often disagree about many different things, from musical taste to political views. If you want to please people, you must definitely learn to accept them for who they are and not try to change them to suit you.
If in a conversation a person mentions something with which you categorically disagree, do not start arguing with him. Most likely, such a conversation will develop into a conversation in a raised voice or even lead to a quarrel. But in the end, everyone will remain the same. Learn to accept the fact that every person has an opinion that you cannot and should not change.
But this does not mean that you can like people, as well as communicate with them, only if you are completely in agreement in everything. Don't try to adapt to a person or change your mind just to please. It’s enough just not to judge him, no matter how much you want to defend your point of view. Keep silent at the right time and do not incite conflict.
Provide self-praise
As we have already said, there is a very fine line between a regular compliment and flattery, so it is better to make the interlocutor praise himself. For example, someone tells you this story: “I worked 60 hours a week to complete this project.” Here you can say: “Yes, you probably need to have an iron will and responsibility to work 60 hours a week.” It’s almost guaranteed that the interlocutor will answer something like “Yes, I had to try hard to deliver this project on time. I certainly did a great job. There’s nothing to be said here.”
The ability to make a person praise himself is a maneuver of aerobatics. Practice it, make people happy. And you will definitely like it.
Talk less, listen more
A pleasant conversationalist is modest and talks little about himself. He prefers to listen and be keenly interested in the opinions of others. If you are asked a question, answer succinctly and immediately ask the other person something. Long discussions on the chosen topic are tiring.
Keep your cool if someone is trying to make fun of you. Calm, taciturn people are liked by others. Delicacy will emphasize your inner strength and self-confidence. Never interrupt the speaker or insist on continuing the conversation.
Smile
You are incredibly magnetic when you are happy. A special gift is to make others smile. Your positive attitude can bring tense communication into the right direction and makes those present relax. This creates the basis for a calmer and more constructive dialogue.
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Don't try to attract too much attention
Sometimes it happens that a person has firmly decided: “I want to please people.” His desire to charm others is very strong, but out of ignorance he makes mistakes. One of these oversights is excessively drawing attention to one’s person. If you force your communication too much and show how interesting you are, you will most likely become annoying rather than liked by people. As in any other matter, in establishing contact with an interlocutor, the ability to find a middle ground is important. Don’t belittle your merits, but don’t try to immediately talk about all your merits and achievements.
If you were awarded a prize in the office or received the title of best employee, accept congratulations, but do not forget to tell your colleagues that it was their support that helped you achieve these heights. If such actions come from the heart, you will always be sincere and friendly. And everyone likes such a person.
Emphasize personal importance
Each person, when communicating, tries to increase his importance (to show how interesting, smart, worthy he is). The advantage will be the one who will increase the importance of the interlocutor. It is enough to give a person the opportunity to realize his own significance so that he will happily agree to do what we ask.
There are a lot of ways to increase the importance of the interlocutor - everyone chooses the most suitable for a given situation. But there are also universal ones, like “magic” words. For example, “I would like to consult with you!” People hear it like this: “I am considered. I am needed! My opinion is important." And they respond with pleasure, thinking at the same time, why not help.
Act natural
Self-confidence makes any person attractive in the eyes of others, but when showing it, you cannot overdo it. A calm tone and natural behavior are behavioral traits that attract people.
It is important to maintain a balance in communication, showing character and inner core, but without causing stress to others. Otherwise, it will seem that you are a pompous and narcissistic person.
Don't try to create the impression of being ideal, don't pretend to be someone you're not. If you are a calm and modest person by nature, then do not pretend to be a shocking star. People feel false and will not appreciate such behavior.
Be consistent in your communication - treat people equally well, regardless of your mood, forget about arrogance. Don’t be afraid to make a mistake, say something out of place, or demonstrate your shortcomings. Let the other person correct you or ask for advice. This will help bring you closer together.
Give compliments right
If you want to give your interlocutor a compliment, do not praise what was given to the person by nature - a beautiful smile or, for example, long legs. Notice something in the conversation that you put effort into, such as a well-trained voice or a toned body. The interlocutor will be pleased to realize that his efforts are appreciated and understood. As a result, you will be associated in his subconscious with something positive.
The same effect can be achieved in several other ways:
- thank you for the help provided or the trust shown;
- ask to share your experience or recommend something;
- praise the person's achievements.
However, it is important not to stoop to outright flattery. According to the author of 30 books on practical and popular psychology, Mikhail Litvak, this alarms and repels people. Learn to praise a person, and not to curry favor with him.
