Relationships are like cars that require constant attention, care and maintenance to keep them running smoothly. And every new day, month and year you spend with your partner provides a great opportunity for improvement.
Experts say there are a number of simple strategies that can not only help you get closer to a girl, but also improve your communication. With them, you will learn to deal with conflicts faster and will be able to rekindle the spark that you had in the early stages of dating.
Don't go beyond what is permitted
Always remember that each person should have his own interpersonal space, which is extremely undesirable to invade. Each of us sometimes wants to be alone with ourselves, and no offense is inappropriate here. At least one area of your life should be closed from her participation. Only in it will you be able to fully realize yourself without fear of any competition. You should also not pry into your friend’s personal life for any convenient reason or without it - wait until they turn to you for advice.
It is quite possible to improve a strained relationship with a friend. To do this, you need to learn a few simple rules and follow them when communicating with a loved one. This will help give your friendship some extra lightness and openness.
Be prepared for emotional effort
Friendship, like love, requires mutual empathy and participation. Don't be shy to express your feelings and show how much you value your connection. Over the years, this is especially important when each of you has your own life and you both feel that you are no longer in the first place for each other. Often friendships in adulthood end due to imaginary politeness - people stop communicating simply because they do not want to intrude and bother.
Not being demanding does not mean stopping taking initiative in communication.
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Read on topic:What kind of friends every girl needs
How can you make new friends?
If you're over 30: 5 tips on how to find new friends
- Find a new hobby. Go rock climbing, take a photography course, go dancing. ...
- Use social networks. And it’s not just Facebook or Odnoklassniki. ...
- Get out of the house more often. ...
- Don't be afraid to take risks. ...
- Invest in relationships.
9 Jan
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Happens even to best friends
Every girl has a friend who is like family to her.
Friendship is tested by time, but even in long-term friendships there are periods of misunderstanding. This may be due to some change in the worldview of one of her friends or some changes: at home, at work, in her personal life... But what to do when you start to quarrel more and understand each other less? Let's look at this situation and try to see the solution from different angles. The most important thing is to think not selfishly and put yourself in her place, in which case you will be better able to find the reason for the differences in your friendship. You are best friends, the sea is knee-deep and all troubles can be overcome when you are together. You are like sisters. No one knows what your friend knows about you. You don’t dedicate anyone to your secrets as much as you do her. Only with her you feel free anywhere on the planet. You are sincere with each other, faithful and devoted to friendship, quick helpers in any trouble. You rejoice and cry together. You share your life equally. But gradually you begin to have misunderstandings and inconsistencies in tastes.
Before this, your friend seemed ideal, but some time passes and you, in deep shock, see in front of you not an angel, but a monster. It seems to you that she deliberately ingratiated herself into your trust for personal gain, and a bunch of crazy ideas may also come to her mind... You immediately begin to remember all the bad things and cross out all the good things in your relationship. A wall of misunderstanding and deep conviction that your friend is wrong rises between you. One thinks that she is jealous and therefore says this to her, and the second sees her running into the abyss along the wrong path and tries to stop her. It usually starts with criticism. This becomes a provocation for a quarrel. The relationship becomes tense and you begin to avoid meetings, but you wait for the other one to realize her mistake.
Prioritize
We often think that the most important thing in friendship is common interests. In fact, it is much more important how much time you spend together. That's why school friends are replaced by university friends, and those in turn are replaced by work colleagues or neighbors. Someone we interact with regularly is much more likely to become our friend, even if you don't have much in common.
If you don’t want to lose your childhood friend, you will have to learn to balance between family, work and communication with her.
Regular verbal contact is more important than good memories of ten years at the same desk.
Dangerous topics for communication
It's great if you can talk to your friend about everything in the world. However, this is not always the case. Most people try to avoid a number of topics in their communication. This may be due to the extreme importance of this topic in a person’s life, the fact that it is highly likely to provoke a conflict, and the fact that when talking about it, a person feels psychological discomfort. Here are the most dangerous topics in communication:
- Money is a symbol of success, power, opportunity and much more. For many people, money is inextricably linked with self-esteem, so if there are any problems in this area, then raising the topic of finances will immediately cause a flurry of unpleasant emotions.
- Very often, religion is a topic that is too significant for a person, and therefore overly loaded with emotions. It’s good if these are positive emotions, but what if not?
- Disadvantages of family and friends. Even if you tell the truth about the shortcomings of a loved one, your friend will have a primitive instinct - the desire to protect her loved one at any cost. She will be offended by you and will justify it in every possible way. Therefore, it is better not to create an awkward situation and be guided by the principle that only she can scold her family.
- Politics permeates our entire society, the quality of life depends on it, and, you see, all this is very important for you and me. You and your friend may have such diametrical views on this issue that a quarrel cannot be avoided.
- Psychologically difficult situations. Here, probably, everything is clear - you shouldn’t reopen old wounds and talk to a person about what is unpleasant for him.
Take care of your personal growth
It is difficult to maintain deep human attachment without developed self-awareness. It’s easy to make friends when you’re young—you go to the same school, live on the same street, and have a lot of free time. In adulthood, you need to make efforts to maintain a relationship with a person if you are not connected by family or romantic feelings.
To be able to be friends, you must know and accept yourself, and also understand why this person is dear to you. Lifelong friendship is a conscious effort that only a mature person is capable of.
