How to find a common language and learn how to interact correctly with anyone, how to get along with them, making a good impression. All these are very important skills in the modern world, which will certainly be useful to everyone, no matter what a person does.
All people in the world are undoubtedly social creatures and cannot live without others. But this does not mean that each of them really knows how to communicate with others and find a common language. Often, many do not even realize what they are doing wrong, and are in no hurry to admit it to themselves. But communication is an art. Having set out to master it, you should start by making contact.
The concept of "common language"
What does this concept hide? Finding a common language means achieving mutual understanding, finding an opportunity to agree among one another, and coming to mutual agreement with interlocutors regarding views and thoughts, actions and deeds, solutions to a particular problem.
However, from a psychological point of view, achieving mutual understanding is not always easy. People grew up and were brought up in different environments, received different educations, each have their own profession, have different values and habits, and lead different lifestyles. And many more factors influence the way people think and behave in a given situation.
The cotton-eyed daughter
And maybe both would have spat and run away, but children appear in the family. In our case, a sweet, unearthly creature with wide eyes.
“Oh, what a beautiful flower! Oh, what a blue sky!” – the little owner of the visual vector observes life in such bright colors. Our “sweet married couple” has no idea that they have a future actress or artist, ballerina or designer growing up. With a favorable upbringing, such a girl may well grow into a deeply compassionate person, capable of actively helping the sick and weak.
But without systemic perception, a practical skin mother sees in her simply a fool unadapted to life, who does not even understand that in winter she needs to dress warmly, and not beautifully. And dad scares her from time to time, as a joke. True, after these jokes, the emotional and hypersensitive spectator is afraid not only of the darkness, but even of her own shadow.
How to connect with people
Communication is a very important part of our life. It is present in all areas of life: in the family, at work, in the store, communicating with friends, colleagues and just strangers. It is necessary to find a common language with different people in order to avoid conflict situations, not to get into arguments, just to be in a calm and comfortable state and always have a good mood.
Some people succeed easily; we can say that they have received this priceless gift from nature. For others it is much more difficult. However, it is possible to learn how to find a common language and establish relationships with people. Think for yourself, because at one time all our friends and colleagues were strangers to us. As an example, you can look at children, how they easily, unobtrusively and naturally make friends.
Your messages are one-sided
You send a one-sentence text message to your partner, wait about five seconds, and then send a whole paragraph. And what is the result? You get a curt “OK” in return. Of course, there are people who simply do not like and do not know how to write. And some, for example, generally hate talking on the phone. In these cases, it is important to understand your partner's communication preferences. However, if you are well aware that your partner writes normal long replies to friends and family, but not to you, this may be a bad signal for you. If so, resist the urge to keep writing huge sheets of text. Instead, put down your phone and talk to your crush. Explain your problems and listen to the answer.
Tips on how to get along with others
First of all, tune in to communicate with others. There is no need to constantly focus on yourself and your problems. Be open and friendly. Learn to listen to other people. And not only listen, but also hear. Be interested in what is happening in their lives, how they live, what hobbies they have, what plans they have for the future.
Try to find something in common. This could be any memories and events from the past, common interests and hobbies, the same lifestyle, similar tastes in clothes, food, books, similar plans for the future. You can also always discuss general topics such as weather, sports, some events, hometown or country, culture and customs.
In any situation, be calm, polite, and friendly. Treat your interlocutors with respect. It is worth remembering that all people are different, but sometimes it is this difference that can unite people.
Strive to see something good and good in every person. There is no need to pay attention to skin color, social role, status, or age of a person. The most important thing in people is their morality, their inner world. Say warm and kind words to people. It’s not difficult at all, and your interlocutors will be pleased.
Share your good mood and positivity with others. People see those who know how to enjoy life and are drawn to them. Problems and difficulties happen in the life of any person. But how to deal with them and overcome them is everyone’s choice.
Try not to get involved in arguments about every issue. It turns people off. There is also no need to participate in gossip and intrigue, or discuss someone behind their back. If they want to force you to participate in them, it is better to tactfully leave or switch to something else.
Speak to the point. Before you start saying anything, think about it so as not to say too much. Always keep your promises, as this is the key to trust. If you cannot fulfill any request, do not promise, refuse tactfully and politely.
Be honest and sincere. This always puts people at ease.
Remember there may be a lot you don't know
If you find yourself working with someone who annoys you, remember that there may be a lot you don't know about that person. There is so much going on in each of us’s personal lives that sometimes we tend to transfer the negativity onto those around us. Therefore, try to separate your personal life from your professional life, do your job and remember that your colleagues may have more going on in their lives than you see.
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Relationship with the child
The problem of fathers and children remains relevant at all times. The question of how to find a common language with a child is asked by every parent at a certain stage of life. At first glance it seems nothing complicated. After all, this is your child, and you have known him all his life. But sometimes he surprises you so much with his actions and thoughts that you stop recognizing him.
It is very important to be able to acknowledge your child's feelings. “But we do it!” - many may object. Is it really true? Are you sure that you are not replacing the child’s real feelings with your perception and sensation? Let's consider one situation. A mother and child are walking home from a store that is literally a stone's throw away. The child says he is tired. And mom replies: “Don’t make things up!” Is this the same as acknowledging a child's feelings? Result: the child may withdraw into himself and you will no longer be able to find a common language with him. So what should you do? Agree with the child by saying his words out loud. “Yes, it’s not far from the store from home, but you’re tired. I understand".
Vasenka the slow-moving one
Here is Vasenka in front of us. By the way, the best husband and father. He was not caught in adultery, he blows specks of dust off his daughter. True, sometimes it sticks to its sofa so that you can’t get it off with pliers. And he always puts off fixing the notorious tap until tomorrow.
Vassenka needs a certain approach. This person is naturally slow and unhurried; it takes him longer to complete a task than others. But if you don’t tug him or rush him, rest assured that no one can do a better job fixing the faucet than he does. Because it works the same way: slowly, carefully and efficiently, “conscientiously.”
For such a person, gratitude and respect are very important. Especially within your family: after all, as the systemic vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains, it is vitally important for the owner of the anal vector to feel that he is the real master of the house.
How to interact as an adult with a child
The child needs to be helped to understand his feelings so that he can learn to trust his own feelings. There are several ways to help with this.
- Listen carefully to the child's words. Sometimes just sympathy helps.
- Show that you understand him. Don't criticize or challenge his words. It can only do harm. "Understand". “I would also be unpleasant/offended/sorry.”
- Call your feelings by their proper names (pain, resentment, frustration, irritation, anger, etc.). Don't be afraid, this won't cause you any harm.
- Demonstrate that you have heard the child’s wishes and show your imagination.
How to get along with someone else's child
There are times when it is necessary to establish contact with someone else's child. For example, you came to visit friends who have children, or you were asked to sit with your child for an hour. Below are some tips on how to better communicate with children to build rapport.
You should treat your child like an ordinary person, just a little one. Talk to him calmly, in a normal tone, without unnecessary lisps.
Squat or bend down so that you are at eye level with your child.
If you want to praise a child, it is better to focus on some details of clothing or a toy that he may be holding. Don't bring up anything personal, as this may make the child more shy.
Talk about his things, toys or books. Play what he wants. Don't impose your games.
Follow some fairly simple tips and you can get along with someone else's child without any problems.
Bullet wife
But his wife, the owner of the skin vector, sees Vasya completely differently. For her, he is a “brake” and “how many more times should I repeat this?” She evaluates him through her own qualities: she is naturally fast, dexterous, values time and saves resources.
She endlessly tugs and urges Vasya, and this makes him even more stunned. In addition, instead of gratitude and respect, he constantly stumbles upon the “chainsaw of Friendship” in the person of his own lifelong friend. When Vasya’s patience (very long, but not endless) finally bursts, his wife gets the dubious pleasure of witnessing the “dark side of the anal vector” - assault.
How to approach teenagers
Finding a common language with a teenager is also not always easy. But it is possible to improve relationships. First of all, the child should feel loved, no matter what happens (regardless of grades at school, problems with others, etc.).
It is necessary to let the child understand that parents are the best and most faithful friends. A child should turn to mom and dad with any problem and be sure that they will support him and help him solve any problem, no matter how difficult it may be.
It is necessary to build trusting relationships, to discuss not only serious issues, but also everyday matters. Try to create a friendly, relaxed atmosphere and have fun together. Be interested in your child's hobbies, thoughts and desires. Make time for a heart-to-heart conversation. And then your child will trust you, listen to you and appreciate your advice.
Active interaction
At this stage, the relationship with the interlocutor acquires clarity and certainty . You already know about its qualities, advantages and disadvantages . This knowledge will help build trusting relationships and learn how to influence your interlocutor.
At the fifth stage, the interlocutors adapt to each other. For this, adaptation and adjustment mechanisms are used.
If in a conversation you rely on the qualities of your partner, you will soon learn to manage his behavior, decisions and ensure effective interaction with your interlocutor. At the same time, it is important to remember the principle of “common destiny”, that is, any exchange of information and thoughts is a two-way process , two people participate in it, they are both interested in the conversation. This principle brings people together, helps remove psychological barriers and make interaction more effective.
At the fifth stage, in order to achieve a sustainable result, you need to use two tactics:
• Do not provoke or allow conflicts . As soon as a threat of aggression or a negative quality of the interlocutor appears, change the topic of conversation . If your phrase may offend your interlocutor, but you still need to say it, apologize in advance. For example, you can say: “I don’t want to offend you in any way,” “I hope my words don’t seem offensive to you,” etc.
• Seek advice . This tactic is used if the interlocutor is passive and does not actively participate in the conversation. To interest him, you need to ask for advice, show that his position is interesting and relevant to you.
All your actions in the fifth stage should be aimed at causing active interaction with your partner.
He is already ready for this. Take action!
The maximum result can be achieved if you apply the described technique during repeated communication with the interlocutor; with a one-time contact, the desired result may not be achieved.
General language in English
Communicating in a non-native language is always difficult. In the modern world, English is a very common language. It is considered to be international. International conferences, exhibitions, and events are usually held in English. And if you just go on vacation abroad, you will have to deal with communication in English.
There is no need to be afraid that you will not be understood, be friendly, open to communication, follow all the advice regarding finding a common language, and you will not be afraid of any language barrier.
Seek support
You don't have to work alone, surround yourself with people with whom you will become a team. Many of your colleagues can make you feel confident and calm. It can be difficult to collaborate with a person you don’t like, but you should learn to separate the professional and personal spheres, as highly qualified specialists in their field do.
It is undoubtedly easier to achieve peak performance when working with people you like, respect, rely on, and feel comfortable interacting with. However, this is not always possible, so you should consider the above recommendations to avoid experiencing more discomfort and stress.
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