Alcohol addiction is stressful for others and the family of the alcoholic. How to live with an alcoholic - advice from a psychologist often helps not just solve the problem, but make important decisions and change the situation for the better.
An alcoholic is a dependent person. The meaning of this addiction lies in the constant craving for alcohol-containing liquids. The life of people who are close to such a person turns into absolute hell. If an alcoholic in a family gives up, the wife and children suffer. The addict does not have the strength to quit without outside help, but even without his firm decision to stop drinking, nothing will come of it. Therefore, the psychologist’s advice concerns behavior and communication with such a person.
Content
- Don't correct an alcoholic's mistakes
- Stop hiding or pouring out alcohol
- Do not humiliate an alcohol addict in front of strangers
- Avoid violence towards the drinker
- Replace naivety with realism
- Don't give medications without a prescription
- Stop hiding your relative's alcoholism
- Stop being in total control
- Avoid conflicts with drunk people
- Stop drinking together and stocking up on alcohol
- Keep taking care of yourself
- Don't be self-flagellation
- Don't try to overcome difficulties on your own
Alcoholism is a problem not only for the addicted person, but also for those around him. Under the influence of the disease, the character changes. An alcoholic goes on a long binge and then his work and social life suffer. Alcohol makes him aggressive and uncontrollable.
Alcohol addiction can deprive a person of work and dull his mental abilities. In addition, loved ones suffer: children, spouses, parents. A relative’s illness can cause them to develop their own addiction, neuroses, and severe depression.
Unfortunately, there is no universal solution to how to learn to live with an alcoholic. Much depends on how much your loved one understands the problem and is ready to solve it. The only thing that can be recommended is: don’t live if you don’t have the strength or desire to do so. But this option is not always possible.
If for some reason you end up with an addict, here are some tips to help you avoid some of the most common pitfalls.
There is an exit!
For those who have recognized themselves in these situations, psychologists advise: listen to yourself, your feelings, try to realize what type of behavior you have and correct it.
Better yet, contact a psychologist and self-help groups for relatives of alcoholics “Al-Anon”, which operate throughout Russia. Information about them can be obtained from the No Alcoholism and Drug Addiction Foundation. Practice shows: if the patient’s family takes part in the process of treatment for alcohol addiction, the likelihood of a relapse after discharge from the hospital is reduced by 60%.
There is another reason why the wife of an alcoholic needs to work on herself - her future. Otherwise, having parted with her drinking husband, she risks attracting a drunkard like him, building the same codependent relationship with him.
Don't correct an alcoholic's mistakes
A typical situation: the son drinks, gets behind the wheel and gets into an accident. Parents immediately go to resolve the conflict with the police, pay fines and compensation, and restore their rights. This should not be done for several reasons.
Firstly, by taking care of your adult relative, you encourage him to take a childish position. A person will not learn to take responsibility for his own actions if problems are constantly solved for him. Gratitude will very soon be replaced by the feeling that the consequences of mistakes are not his concern.
Secondly, you provoke a new relapse. For example, if your loved one has already driven drunk once, nothing will stop him from doing it again. Often such indulgences lead to death - more than half of the crimes are committed while intoxicated.
How to deal with an alcoholic in the family: let them deal with the consequences of their decisions and actions on their own. This will help you quickly realize that a bad habit can ruin your life if you don’t start treatment.
Practical psychology: is the wife of an alcoholic a victim or an accomplice?
In order to deal with any problem, you must first understand and understand its origins, as they say, find out the ins and outs, otherwise all efforts and efforts will be wasted, and you will only experience disappointment and emptiness inside from powerlessness and misunderstanding. Therefore, psychologists have invented a wonderful term - codependency, which must be properly assessed, since it is extremely capacious and accurate. Moreover, this is not even a term, which is a definition completely inapplicable to life, but a real diagnosis, exactly the same as alcoholism.
Need to take into account
Professional psychologists have long since agreed on a common opinion, which would not hurt the wives of alcoholics to find out. No one can ever help an addict in any way unless or until he sincerely wishes to do so. Therefore, the question of how to cure an alcoholic without his desire completely loses its relevance, remaining at the rhetorical level, which does not have and does not require an answer.
Stop hiding or pouring out alcohol
First of all, it is useless. A person suffering from addiction will still find somewhere to drink. If he himself cannot control his own actions, then another is unlikely to succeed.
But the ban on alcohol often gives rise to excitement and the desire to get booze by any means out of a sense of contradiction. Secondly, such behavior can provoke aggression.
Another option is also unacceptable - to patronize the alcoholic in every possible way. Often wives bring their husbands a “hangover” in the morning or buy alcohol themselves so that it is at hand at any time.
Do not humiliate an alcohol addict in front of strangers
This is the basic rule of how to communicate with an alcoholic in the family. Do not shame or humiliate a person - he is sick and cannot pull himself together. He needs the help of a specialist - reading lectures and reproach from loved ones will not help.
What can be done: it is better to talk with a relative, talk about the consequences that result from an unhealthy craving for drinking. These include health problems, loss of a good job and property. Try to convince him to undergo treatment.
By humiliating a relative you:
- you form the belief that he is inferior;
- you show that you do not understand the position of the drunkard, which makes him even more emotionally distant from others;
- provoke resentment, anger, and similar negative emotions.
The addict will fill all these experiences with even larger portions of alcohol.
Living with an alcoholic - what SHOULD you do?
Take care of yourself
This is the most important thing - take care of yourself!
Don't let someone else's problem dominate your life, even if it concerns your husband/wife. Take care of your physical and mental health. Additionally, you can encourage your husband or wife to do the same.
If your husband or wife is emotionally or physically harming you or your children, it's time to leave. First of all, you should think about safety.
Start living in the present
Once upon a time you married this wonderful man and you continue to feel nostalgic for the golden days long gone. But, understand, this only distracts you from real life! You have a PROBLEM - here and now . Don't give up on your wonderful memories, but don't let them distract you from reality.
In the same way, there is no point in regretting the wrong choice of a spouse and the life lost. Concentrate on what you can do - right here and now. Take action and everything will work out for you!
Avoid violence towards the drinker
When trying to understand how to behave if there is an alcoholic in the family, establish a taboo on physical violence. Please note:
- this is dangerous - a drunk person does not control his own actions and can injure the offender;
- this provokes a feeling of guilt - physical punishment can only aggravate the experiences that a person drowns in alcohol;
- this is fraught with detachment - the addict needs emotional support, he will automatically “close himself” from the offender.
In addition, it is worth remembering: any manifestations of physical violence are illegal. Even a few slaps to vent anger can be the start of a serious fight in which you are the instigator and the responsible party.
What you can do: if you have no strength to restrain aggression towards a perpetually drunk relative, contact a psychological support center and make an appointment with a psychotherapist. One way to solve the problem is to stop living with the alcoholic. In some cases this is still unavoidable.
Psychologist's recommendations for women
Psychologists recommend that a woman who is the bride of an alcoholic, first of all, love herself and ask herself, does she want such a life? If not, then you need to learn to satisfy, first of all, your interests, and not the interests of others. It is also recommended that brides of alcoholics undergo a short training. It consists of asking yourself 2 simple questions. It is better to write down the answers to them on paper, but you need to answer as honestly as possible for yourself.
- Where am I going? It implies a woman’s life goal, her plans, what she would like to see herself in the future, what she would like to see her family like, what she would like to achieve in life.
- Who am I going with? He suggests reconsidering your surroundings, thinking about what place in society the main companion in life occupies.
If, answering these questions, a woman feels unhappy and understands that she will suffer in the future, then such a marriage will not bring happiness and joy to either spouse. And only after a woman honestly answers these 2 questions, she must choose whether to continue this relationship and endure everything that awaits her ahead, or does she want the life that she described when answering the first question!?
In any case, there is always a choice, and the main thing is to choose the right, thoughtful decision so as not to become that same victim.
Replace naivety with realism
Psychiatrists who treat chronic alcoholics say that the main criterion for addiction is the drinker’s categorical refusal to acknowledge the real problem. You need to realize: alcoholism is not a habit. This is a strong psychophysical dependence, similar to drug addiction and other types of addictions.
Understand: alcoholism is a disease, just like diabetes or cancer. If left untreated, the person will die. For example, from cardiovascular pathologies caused by large doses of alcohol, or cirrhosis of the liver. In addition, the risk of suicide or fatal accident increases many times over.
Alcoholism is accompanied by withdrawal symptoms and the formation of the body's tolerance to alcoholic beverages. Therefore, it is impossible to stop drinking on your own. Mandatory assistance from narcologists, psychiatrists, psychotherapists is required, as well as a long period of rehabilitation.
Factors influencing behavior
The patient’s personal degradation and behavioral norms depend on the stage of development of alcoholism and accompanying conditions.
Withdrawal syndrome
This is a complex of physiological and psychological disorders that develop in an alcoholic after stopping prolonged drinking or sharply reducing the dose of drinks consumed.
Characteristic features of behavior during withdrawal syndrome:
- The patient does not perceive and understand any instructions well, due to disturbances in the dynamics of thinking, and experiences an irresistible desire to drink.
- In response to the question, ridiculous and stupid phrases are heard.
- Chaotic thinking.
- Sad, depressed and apathetic state.
- Dystrophic subdepression.
- Anxiety, internal tension. The patient is afraid of dying from cardiac arrest or lack of air. Anxiety can turn into panic attacks.
- The patient makes accusations about his addiction to alcohol, he experiences irritability.
- All behavioral symptoms are accompanied by motor restlessness.
Alcohol intoxication
This is a pathological condition that is characterized by a complex of neurological and psychological disorders caused by the action of ethyl alcohol.
Patient behavior:
- Loud, confused, unconnected speech.
- Sharpness of movements.
- Active gestures.
- Spontaneous, superficial, primitive thinking.
- Excessive emotionality against the background of a lack of self-criticism.
- Frivolity.
- Inadequacy, promiscuity.
- Aggressiveness.
- Conflict.
- Loss of coordination and orientation in space.
Methyl alcohol is almost indistinguishable from ethyl alcohol in taste and smell, but is much more dangerous for the body. This explains the accidents that have occurred due to the consumption of counterfeit alcohol.
Alcohol coma
Severe degree of alcohol intoxication
What happens to the patient:
- Disturbed or completely lost consciousness.
- Lack of reaction to others.
- The occurrence of short-term motor reactions to strong odors (for example, ammonia).
- Shallow, rapid breathing.
- Temperature drop.
- Increase in pressure.
- In severe forms of alcoholic coma, the patient experiences significant suppression of reflexes, the reaction of the pupils to light decreases, cardiovascular failure increases, and urinary and fecal incontinence is observed.
First aid
All actions should be aimed at reducing the toxic activity of ethanol, lowering its concentration, restoring the functions of systems and organs:
- Removing accumulated alcohol from the stomach - washing with potassium permanganate.
- Short inhalations of ammonia, drinking (no more than 30 ml).
- Intestinal cleansing - enteral administration of magnesium sulfate, cleansing enemas.
- Injections of “Caffeine”, “Cordiamine” and other ethanol antagonists (“Apomorphine”, “Pyridoxine”, “Oxygen”, “Nicotinic acid”.
- Heating pads are applied to the feet.
Don't give medications without a prescription
The Internet is full of advice on what to do if one of the spouses drinks. Often strangers on forms advise trying miracle pills for drunkenness. But alcoholics rarely realize that they have a serious disorder, so they refuse to take anything.
Do not under any circumstances try to mix unknown drugs into food! This is fraught with a variety of consequences. At best, it's just wasted money. At worst, serious poisoning and death. The addict must take any medications consciously under the supervision of a doctor, knowing about the possible side effects and effects of the medication.
Possible Solution. My husband is an alcoholic, how should I live? Try to convince your relative that he is sick, but he can be helped. Make an appointment with a narcologist and convince him to undergo treatment.
Treat or divorce
To understand how to live with an alcoholic husband, you need to determine the goals of your life together. Below are different situations:
- If a woman loves her husband even with his addiction, then she needs to save her loved one and treat him for alcoholism. These attempts will help avoid divorce. It is important to contact specialists, narcologists. You will need motivation during treatment. The therapy process is complex and requires effort.
- When life with a drinking man becomes unbearable, women look for ways to get rid of their alcoholic husband. You need to not delay, make a decision quickly, and not wait for changes. Living with an alcoholic is often accompanied by constant scandals, quarrels, conflicts, and domestic squabbles.
If a woman chooses the option of helping a loved one, she needs to take additional care of herself and her children. In such families, physical and moral trauma is caused. Wives and children experience constant fear, guilt, and uncertainty about the future and tomorrow. They suffer from mental anguish , women are often visited by thoughts of separation and divorce.
Stop hiding your relative's alcoholism
What to do if there is an alcoholic in the family? This could be a child addicted to alcohol, a spouse, a parent. Do not under any circumstances hide the problem, do not avoid talking about it in the family circle.
Remember: you can solve the problem only after the addict admits that he cannot cope on his own. As long as you remain silent, he and others will get the impression that everything is fine and no intervention is required. However, we also need to talk about alcoholism correctly.
- Try not to react emotionally - a dry statement of facts will bring results sooner than scolding or humiliation.
- Don’t focus on the fact of addiction —it’s better to point out the consequences of drinking and outline the prospects (deterioration of health, loss of work and friends).
- Give hope - say that there is a way out of the situation if you turn to specialists for help.
The main reasons why a husband starts drinking
There is an opinion that the main reason why a man drinks heavily is a simple lack of will and weak character. Of course, this occurs, but, as practice shows, there are more compelling reasons.
- Problems in life that are washed down with alcohol. Although previously the couple lived with this and coped without strong drinks. After all, it helps not to think about bad things and to relax. Perhaps your husband is simply trying to relieve stress from pressing problems in everyday life, at work. And he doesn’t know any other method to get rid of nervous tension. When he sees alcohol, his hands begin to shake.
- Ethyl alcohol has a strong effect on the human body, resulting in a persistent addiction. Alcohol affects the human brain centers responsible for pleasure. After the first glass of strong drink, your husband feels a surge of energy, vigor, lightness, his mood improves, and tension is relieved. It is these sensations that make him reach for alcohol over and over again.
- Character traits. This applies to men who have serious problems with emotional instability. It is very difficult for such people to give up alcohol, especially in the company of people who drink.
- Bad heredity. A husband’s love of drinking can also be passed on through heredity.
And when deciding to fight your husband’s drinking, you need to realize that you won’t be able to deal with it quickly. Everything will take time.
Avoid conflicts with drunk people
Alcohol intoxication seriously changes the perception of external reality, values and priorities of the drinker. Therefore, you should not try to reason with a relative by beating or swearing.
How not to provoke an alcoholic into aggression? Unfortunately, under the influence of alcohol, people often behave inappropriately and see everyone as an enemy. Therefore, it is not always possible to avoid conflict - alcoholics tend to start them themselves.
What you can do: Talk to your loved one when he sobers up. Talk about his unacceptable behavior. Let him understand that if this happens again, it will lead to negative consequences: divorce, moving, etc.
Under no circumstances should you: swear and make a scene, humiliate a person, try to lecture, beat or show violence in any other way. All the same, in such a state a person cannot normally perceive even the most correct arguments.
Divorce or stay with your husband: how to behave correctly in this case
Here everyone must decide for themselves. After all, it is simply impossible to give unambiguous advice, to say to leave or to stay, in this case.
It all depends on your relationship with your spouse, how long the person has been drinking, whether you have already tried to help, how many years you have known each other and what mood prevails in your family. Of course, if you have a good relationship and still have love and respect for each other, then you should stay together and try to help. Think back to a time when things were different.
And having chosen this option, according to psychologists, you should adhere to some rules in relation to your husband. So that by living with him you do not infringe on yourself.
- You cannot allow him to be aggressive towards you. Especially in public. He should not offend you, either with words or with his actions. After all, you will continue to be with him.
- Don't cover up your husband's actions. Let him be independently responsible for his actions, even those that are not the most correct and disrespectful.
- Don't take care of his business, let him do it himself.
- Don’t read morals to him, don’t respond to insults with insults. Lowering his self-esteem is not the best option in this case.
- Involve your loved ones, they will help you fight. Do everything you can to make your home environment conducive to stopping drinking.
- Remember that you are not alone.
- Don't try to save his life at the cost of your own. After all, due to permanent nerves, many diseases can appear.
- Use all existing treatment methods.
- Help family members take a step towards your husband and help him.
Note! Remember that drinking men tend to behave inappropriately during binge drinking. They can scream and swear. And completely deny your unhealthy addiction to alcohol.
Stop drinking together and stocking up on alcohol
The drunkard gradually moves away from his family - he has more interests with his drinking buddies than with his husband, wife, and children. To overcome this emotional coldness, many people start drinking with their partner so as not to lose him completely.
This is a fatal mistake! According to statistics, more than half of alcoholics began to abuse alcohol precisely under the influence of a relative: one of the parents, husband, wife. Under no circumstances should you drink with an alcoholic - this is the path to your own alcoholism and a ruined life.
Setting an ultimatum
Some experts say drastic action is needed. The main thing is to end the relationship with the alcoholic. Intimidation and threats will get you nowhere. If you promise to leave, but don't leave, the person stops being afraid. But real care can make him think. Usually in such a situation, the man asks his wife to return, promising to quit the bad habit. The main thing here is not to take your word for it, but to give an ultimatum: if you don’t give up alcohol, don’t start treatment, the marriage will end.
Keep taking care of yourself
Spouses or parents of drinkers are easy to recognize: gradually their appearance begins to resemble the appearance of the drinker. This is not surprising: a drunkard often organizes get-togethers at home with friends and takes out the negativity on loved ones. Drinking causes domestic violence. The addiction of one family member affects everyone else
Remember that first of all you should think about how to help yourself, and not sacrifice your own life for the sake of your partner. Get a divorce if your spouse is an alcoholic and refuses to admit it. Rent separate housing if your child or parent abuses alcohol and becomes aggressive.
Possible Solution. Of course, it’s not always possible to solve everything by breaking up. For example, minor children cannot just leave their drinking parents. Very often they themselves start drinking and follow in their footsteps. If radical steps are not possible, you should seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist.
How to kick an alcoholic husband out of the house?
But my happiness did not last long. How to kick an alcoholic husband out of the house? Two months later, my parents left one after another. I was completely unprepared for this. This can only be accepted. And I tried to accept.
How to kick an alcoholic husband out of the house? I fell into depression. I was stuck inside with coldness, apathy, loneliness, hopelessness... Then I developed severe pain in my back, then my joints went out. I was given a list of diagnoses, one of which promised disability...in a year.
Life threw me a real challenge and turned me around from my previous problems. I understood everything with my brain, but I didn’t understand where to get the strength to get out. I was left completely alone with two children and a difficult diagnosis. Against the backdrop of everything that was happening, my problems with my husband seemed somehow unreal.
Benefits
I used to think that there were some benefits in marriages with alcoholics.
Why do we so rarely divorce alcoholics? Why do we tolerate? What is this thing that binds us so strongly to drinking men? What is stronger than our pain and our suffering? This was a problem that I needed to understand and solve.
Inheritance
My husband is an alcoholic – what should a woman do? I took on the role of the victim. I have forgotten how to be, but I know how to seem. Am I happy? Are my children happy?
Do you think your children don’t suffer or get scared when they see a showdown with a drunken husband? Do you think they don't cry in the corners? I address this question to those who endure for the sake of their children.
Do you really think that this is what your children would like?
I found the first reason why I chose an alcoholic.
Family scenario.
The fact is that my dad was also an alcoholic, but not violent. And my mother put up with him all her life for the sake of the children.
It's like a stigma that passes from generation to generation.
How do alcoholics become alcoholics?
Now I didn't care. Something in me died. And my husband’s actions stopped bothering me completely.
I thought a lot when I was depressed. I began to look for the answer to where alcoholics come from in my husband’s family. When I finally turned my attention to my husband, I was extremely surprised. He stopped drinking and started playing. Computer games were at home. Poker and backgammon existed at work.
The husband lived at the expense of his parents, who did not allow him to grow up. That's why he became an alcoholic, because he wasn't responsible for anything because of blind parental love. I began to analyze my life further and came across the term codependency.
My codependency
I have learned that:
A codependent person is one who is completely absorbed in controlling the behavior of another person, and does not care at all about meeting his needs. It was further written that codependency cannot be treated and it lasts for life.
It was about me and I continued to analyze my life.
It was very difficult to accept that I was as sick as my husband.
And I began to further study codependency, i.e. myself. Getting to know myself happened in small ways.
Self-esteem
Since childhood, I was constantly criticized, they were afraid to overpraise me. And I often cried, then these were life-long tears.
My inadequate self-esteem was driving me.
I constantly humiliated and devalued myself. And I conveyed my insignificance to the world, I believed that I was worth nothing.
(watch the video – only 12 min)
I was firmly convinced that no man would ever like me. Only by giving something and doing something in return could I count on love.
A substitute for love for me is being needed by someone.
I didn’t know how to behave with whole, strong, self-sufficient men. I seemed valuable to myself only against the backdrop of problematic ones because only with such men did my self-esteem increase.
I was bad for myself, I needed constant approval from the outside. Often I slipped into servility and tried to please the man, satisfying all his needs. I lived in the illusion that only my soulmate would make me happy.
Terrible secret
So I am a real woman against the backdrop of problems.
My first husband turned out to be a gambler who lost my apartment and left me homeless with huge debts. Then I found him in a compulsory alcoholism treatment department in order to deprive him of the rights to his daughter. Then I met a seemingly worthy man, who turned out to be... a coded alcoholic. He also disappeared from my life, leaving me also without everything and in debt.
And ahead of me was the main alcoholic of my life.
Role-playing games. The role of the victim
So I cried, looked for sympathy, complained about my fate and about my alcoholic husband, but I myself did nothing to change my life for the better.
They pitied me, but I reveled in my suffering and became one with it. I was admired.
I was a victim of an alcoholic husband.
Now I also sometimes suffer, but with the understanding that it is my choice to suffer and lie on an uncomfortable bed or get up from it.
My control
Where are you? – this was my favorite question. And control was my favorite state.
I played the role of controller very diligently.
And I controlled everything: how many glasses he howled, where he went, who he was sitting with, what he was thinking about... I couldn’t let events just flow. I imagined myself to be God. And as a result, I lost control of myself. And I no longer had my life.
I was dependent on my husband, like he was on alcohol.
What was behind my control? Fear, disbelief, bad attitude towards yourself. And I unknowingly helped my husband drink under a mask - Rescuer.
Role of the Rescuer
I have to help him because he will be lost without me.
My relationship with my husband was built on these key thoughts. Without me he will be lost - with this statement I took on the role of God.
I have to help him, no matter what it costs me - and this was my health, time, children, rest.
Finally, a clear understanding has formed:
In order not to be a victim, you do not need to take on the role of a rescuer.
My leaving was a salvation for both of us. That's why my husband stopped drinking. And was there love?
Recovery
To recover I needed to understand what I wanted; accept and love yourself; increase your self-esteem. Stop saving, controlling and being a victim. I needed to go beyond myself and start doing things that were previously impossible for me.
To begin with, live your life.
Understand what I want; accept and love yourself; increase your self-esteem. Stop saving, controlling and being a victim.
(Watch the video - only 10 minutes)
My husband stopped drinking when I left him. Without saving him, I saved him, although it was very painful for me to restrain all my impulses.
First I had to deal with my Rescuer. Having a specialty as a psychologist, I opened an individual entrepreneur and began conducting trainings and consulting. Now I helped people when they asked me to.
My happiness
I returned to my main goal - to be happy.
I decided to walk around for a week and think about what I want from the world, from men, from my children. Think about what I need, what makes me happy, what gives me joy. This was a very difficult step, because... For years I had one dream - for my husband to be sober. But I wrote down the answers to all the questions on paper and my thinking began to clear up. I began to slowly buy myself the things I wanted and I remember that, like a child, I was happy about my first purchase - a bag.
Awareness of your feelings
Now, taught by my illness, I was very careful about my feelings and emotions.
Even a slight hint of irritation now did not go unnoticed by me, and I tried to express my emotions and indicate to people the boundaries that show how they can and cannot treat me.
For many I became inconvenient, but I didn’t try to please everyone, I no longer had the strength.
At first it was very difficult to deal with my feelings and emotions. But I started trying. If something upset me, I wrote it down and then tore it into small pieces. If you wanted to scream, you screamed, though often into your pillow; if you wanted to cry, you cried.
It is necessary and important to show emotions, then they will not get the better of you. Now I understand well that feelings and emotions are my friends.
Don't be self-flagellation
Often relatives tend to blame themselves for their loved one’s addiction. Parents feel that they have given little to their child; children may think that their imperfections are the cause of their elders’ alcoholism.
Social norms also contribute to this - many in society believe that good spouses do not have husbands or wives who become drunkards. But that's not true.
The development of addiction is influenced by many factors: active gene combinations, metabolic characteristics, upbringing, environment and social attitudes. Therefore, it is not the fault of one person.
What types of alcoholics are there?
The behavior of people who drink varies. The following types of alcoholics can be distinguished:
- "Violent" or anxious . After drinking alcohol again, they can behave extremely aggressively and use brute physical force against strangers and close people. They emotionally suppress other family members and take it out on their children. Wives are often afraid to talk to their husbands in order to avoid scandals and conflicts, so they take the role of the victim.
- "Pathetic" . They drink in splendid isolation, forgetting about their actions. Such people face constant troubles and begin to feel sorry for themselves. The wives of such alcoholics worry about the well-being of a loved one, they can start scandals, but they are the first to seek reconciliation. They often feel disgust, but they try to quickly suppress this state within themselves.
- "Emotional" . Such people drink only in the company of like-minded people. They actively show all their emotions to others when they are intoxicated. Many such alcoholics are considered an ideal family man because they show feelings of tenderness and admit sympathy or love.
Wives of alcoholics often put up with this behavior and the condition of their loved one. Psychologists associate their behavior with dependence on their husband. Wives also benefit from such situations. When an idea or thought arises about helping a loved one, women want to be special and play an important role in the relationship.
Some wives cannot get used to a calm and measured family life and are afraid of loneliness. They need suffering, passions, screams, stormy reconciliations and additional emotions. Such women, according to psychologists, live in illusions. They use threats of divorce as a game.
