How to overcome fears and be prepared for pregnancy?

Prenatal depression is something every woman needs to know. Pregnancy is an exciting period for every woman. It is characterized by the emergence of a wide palette of sensations. Of course, the expectant mother is happy about the imminent appearance of the child, but not in all cases it can be said that this happiness is absolute. Sometimes there are situations when a woman feels completely unhappy. She blames herself for not feeling the happiness she deserves, and as a result, she sinks even more into depression...

Why does prenatal depression develop?

There are many factors that trigger the development of prenatal depression. These include illness during pregnancy, stressful life circumstances (for example, relocation), previous lost or complicated pregnancies, past or present violence, financial difficulties and social instability. According to statistics, about eighty percent of prenatal depression is provoked by troubles in the family and discord in relations with the husband. A common cause of the development of prenatal depression is the personal characteristics of women. Young mothers are often afraid of their emotions and get lost in conflicting feelings. This is especially true at the moment when they are faced with the idealized concept of motherhood accepted in society. “Motherhood is a responsibility...”, “a good mother should...”, “a loving mother must...”, etc.

Sometimes prenatal depression is caused by a pregnant woman's worries about her sex life. The husband, concerned about the well-being of the mother and child, tries to disturb them as little as possible and restrains his sexual impulses. As a result, having sex becomes less frequent than before. The woman feels that she has fallen out of love, that her partner has lost interest in her. This leads to signs of depression.

How to survive childbirth if you are very afraid of pain

The key to a good birth is choosing the right doctor and clinic . The mother’s self-perception during the birth of a child depends 50% on the actions of a specialist. The remaining 50% falls to the woman. This includes her attitude, mood and readiness. In case of panic, psychologists recommend enrolling in special courses for mothers and fathers. Here they will be able to familiarize themselves with all the intricacies of pregnancy, learn about many details and prepare themselves mentally.

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How to learn to relax

The ability to relax is an important detail that helps reduce the pain threshold . Psychologists advise learning to breathe correctly during childbirth, relaxing your muscles and letting pain flow through you. The main rule is not to keep all emotions to yourself and not to dwell on your fears. If you don’t have the strength to restrain yourself, you can tightly clench your hands into a fist, shout out your thoughts, and throw out strong tension. After this, the mother will immediately feel better and will be able to forget about her worries for a while.

Features of sexual life during pregnancy

During pregnancy, there are periods of decline and rise in sexual activity. So, for example, in the first three months, sexual desire often decreases somewhat. The reason for this is the peculiarities of the course of pregnancy and the presence of such signs of toxicosis as nausea, vomiting, intolerance to certain foods and odors. The changeable mood of a pregnant woman can lead to conflicts in the family. The woman has the feeling that things will only get worse.

However, this is not so, because already in the second trimester your health improves. Fears pass. The child begins to push and this lets you know that everything is fine with him. A rounded tummy looks very beautiful. Sex life “blooms” during pregnancy. In the third trimester, the belly increases significantly in size and sex becomes difficult. In addition, worries come again, but they are already associated with an imminent birth.

“I’m afraid to give birth myself - it’s better to have a caesarean”

Some women decide to have a caesarean section to overcome their fears . In most cases, doctors advocate natural childbirth. An exception may be serious pathologies in the mother’s body. These include diseases of the cardiovascular system, scars on the uterus, varicose veins of the genital organs. In a public clinic, a woman will most likely be denied a caesarean section for no apparent reason. They will have a conversation with the mother and give arguments in favor of natural childbirth.

The truth about prenatal depression

According to statistics, every fourth pregnant woman experiences prenatal depression. This violation is dangerous not only for the woman herself, but also for her child. Pregnant women who have experienced prenatal depression have an increased risk of preterm pregnancy. This is explained by the fact that women who experienced depressive disorders during pregnancy have a significant increase in the level of stress hormone in their blood. This hormone is known to be capable of triggering premature onset of labor. That is why early detection of prenatal depression and its timely correction is very important. Especially because half of the women who experience it continue to suffer from depression after they give birth.

Signs of prenatal depression:

- reduced ability to work; - decreased attention, inability to concentrate on any specific task; — certain difficulties in decision making; - increased anxiety and irritability; - tearfulness; - insomnia, sleep disorders not related to pregnancy; - increased appetite, or vice versa, its absence; - rapid weight gain or loss not related to pregnancy; - constant sadness or guilt; - decreased interest in sexual relations; - fear of being parents; - thoughts of death and suicide.

It is too difficult for a pregnant woman to determine the presence or absence of these symptoms. Her loved ones nearby (husband, parents, brothers, sisters, girlfriends) play an important role in this.

Reason 5: My appearance will change a lot, I will gain weight

Almost all women have a fear of changes in appearance after the birth of a child to one degree or another. Especially for those for whom the canons of beauty are those on the catwalk and in fashion magazines.

Fact: Most moms thrive after giving birth. Secret? Breastfeed, get enough sleep (it helps if the baby sleeps next to you - in a crib next to yours) and don’t worry about strict diets in the first year after giving birth. A complete balanced diet (note that this does not include condensed milk, pancakes with sugar and fried potatoes), a sufficient amount of vitamins, active walks with the baby, self-love and confidence that after a year or two your body will return to normal. Gradually. Without stress and suffering over your own imperfections.

Treatment of prenatal depression

The difficulty in treating this type of depression is that the list of medications and treatment methods for pregnant women is very limited. First of all, the relatives of a pregnant woman must create psychological and comfortable living conditions for her. You should talk openly with your spouse about problems. If independent conversations are ineffective, conversations can be moved to a psychotherapist’s office. Psychotherapeutic methods have a positive effect: art therapy, auto-training, Gestalt therapy, psychoanalysis, etc. There is also information that light physical activity reduces the manifestations of prenatal depression and normalizes the course of pregnancy.

How to get ready for childbirth - advice from a psychologist

How not to be afraid of childbirth and tune in to it is a question that worries many mothers. Psychologists have compiled a list of recommendations that will be useful during difficult periods :

1. There is no need to be afraid of prolonged childbearing . Many mothers claim that they labored for 18 hours. However, not all of this time was spent in contractions. They usually appear every 40-50 minutes. The pain is similar to that experienced by girls during menstruation. Before the baby is delivered, contractions become more intense and longer. But even at this time there will be breaks between them when mom can take a little rest.
2. To avoid experiencing severe pain, it is worth preparing for childbirth in advance . To do this, you need to prepare the muscular part of the body. Moderate physical activity will help. For example, yoga or swimming.
3. In order not to feel alienated, it is better to call a loved one into the room who could support the woman during strong contractions . But in the process of giving birth to a child, it is better to ask him to leave for aesthetic reasons. Otherwise, the mother will then feel a sense of shame.

On the eve of giving birth, you should not read false information on the Internet, forums and articles of unknown origin . They can only increase fear and lead to panic.

Fear for the baby

Childbirth day is the day a new baby is born. Many women feel fear for their baby, they are afraid that something will happen to him during the birth process, because it is also difficult for him.

Indeed, during a contraction the baby experiences stress because the supply of oxygen is disrupted. But the baby has adaptation mechanisms: in response to a decrease in oxygen supply, the heart rate increases, so the baby’s condition does not suffer. However, with prolonged oxygen starvation, the adaptation process may be disrupted. Therefore, it is very important to breathe properly and relax so that there are no spasms of blood vessels and muscles of the birth canal and blood circulation does not suffer. You can talk to your baby between contractions. In addition to the fact that the mother herself helps the child during childbirth, doctors monitor his condition. The fetal heartbeat is periodically listened to using a stethoscope or recorded using a special device. During pushing, the midwife tells the woman how to behave so as not to harm the baby.

After the baby is born, he is examined by a special neonatologist who deals with the health of newborn children. This is a highly qualified specialist who has undergone special training to work with babies in the first month of life. During the first examination, the doctor will evaluate the functioning of all the main systems of the body and, if necessary, prescribe additional examinations. If the condition of the newborn requires any intervention, then currently every maternity hospital has equipment to provide medical care even in the most serious cases.

Childbirth will definitely end with a long-awaited meeting with your baby, whom you have loved for a long time. He will be born, you will hear his first cry, then he will be placed on your stomach and pressed to your chest. And you will feel incomparable happiness - the happiness of being a mother.

Talk to those who have already been through it all, and you will understand that childbirth is a small ordeal compared to the feelings you will experience as a result. Childbirth is the home stretch on the path to your dream of becoming a mother, so don’t be afraid of it.

Visualization method

Imagine yourself slim, with a toned body, achieve the feeling that occurs when you walk with a light, flying gait, with a straight back and head held high. Do this visualization every day. Every time you want something harmful (sweet or fatty), eat a piece of fruit, a few nuts or dried fruits, drink a glass of kefir with a spoonful of honey and... imagine yourself slim. You remember that neither a pregnant nor a nursing woman should eat for two?

You won't know what to do if something goes wrong

Being well informed will help you deal with any unexpected events. Read more useful articles and books for pregnant women to get the information you need. Communicate with doctors and do not hesitate to ask questions, even those that seem stupid to you. It is very important to establish a trusting relationship with your doctor; you must trust him and be confident that he will do the right thing if unexpected circumstances arise.

In case contractions start. Sequencing