Many modern people are haunted by fear of relationships. It appears when a person does not have the necessary skills to make acquaintances and form a strong attachment. Such fear can live in a person’s soul for many years, and some do not know how to overcome stiffness and the gradually emerging feeling of despair. When it is not possible to find our soulmate for a long time, we begin to doubt ourselves and believe that something is wrong with us. Let's take a closer look at this problem. It occurs quite often, but almost everyone is embarrassed to talk about it out loud.
How to understand that you are afraid
Let's determine the signs that will reveal your fear of close relationships with the opposite sex:
- When a man shows interest in you, you try to distance yourself.
- During a date, you don’t allow yourself to be taken by the hand or kissed goodbye.
- Talk less about yourself and your personal life.
- Avert your eyes when men try to look into them.
If you find yourself thinking that one of these signs is definitely “yours,” then you should do something. After all, in the absence of help, you can remain alone and lonely. In addition, you will begin to “gnaw” yourself from the inside, not allowing other people to see you, removing all the best that can be achieved in life.
Fighting methods
Most often, such changes in a person’s character and behavior do not go unnoticed by those close to them.
Consultation with a psychologist
Such messengers include:
- a person tries to spend all his free time alone or is not at home at all, preferring to be in noisy society;
- stops taking care of his appearance or pays too much attention to it;
- expresses a desire to have a family, but does not take any action for this;
- meeting a potential partner comes down to short sexual contacts;
- character deteriorates, irritability, nervousness, and temper appear;
- sleep is disturbed;
- mood decreases.
If at least some of the signs match your condition, you probably need to work on changes in your life. It is worth understanding all the pros and cons of this situation. Most likely it is fear:
- lose freedom, autonomy and independence;
- be disappointed in your chosen one;
- give up long-term habits;
- lose a loved one.
This is not the entire list of fears; in practice there are many more.
Causes of fear
There are many reasons why you are afraid to start a relationship. Here are a few of them:
- Lack of attitude towards creating successful relationships, did not show how to be a loved and loving woman. So when something new happens, you try to avoid it.
- Fear of addiction. Moreover, not from sexual relations with a man, but from him himself.
- Fear of relationships with men after bad experiences in the past. In this case, you do not want to repeat previous connections, so as not to be hurt again.
- Lack of desire to be with a partner. For example, you may find yourself thinking about homosexuality without being a representative of it.
- The demands placed on a man are too high. Let's say you created a certain ideal in your head. But finding it in life is not as easy as it might seem. Therefore, in order not to waste your time on imperfect relationships, you do not look for them.
As a result, a woman is afraid of a serious relationship and does not know how to behave correctly in the company of a man. To do this, it is important to overcome such fear, you can do it yourself or through receiving psychological help. Regardless of the method of eliminating the problem, it is important to recognize it as soon as possible and begin therapy. You shouldn’t waste a minute in this matter to ensure you get a lasting result.
Social dilemma
In today's realities, family has become more of a nuisance than a necessity. It takes away too much of such a “valuable resource” as personal space and self-development. There is a popular opinion that first you need to “get on your feet” and only then start building serious relationships. Let’s not argue, there is logic in such a worldview, but it is precisely this moment that causes the fear that a pleasant pastime will have consequences in the form of a serious relationship that is a threat to life plans.
A person tries by all means to delay these changes, remaining on a fine line when separation will bring a minimum of suffering. He has the illusion that there is nowhere to rush, and somewhere in the distant future his second half is still waiting for him.
What is the danger of fear
It is important to stop being afraid of relationships as soon as possible. After all, such an innocent fear will ultimately hide the complexity of your entire life, leading to unfavorable consequences. Namely to:
- The emergence of long-term depression. When a girl cannot build a serious relationship, she becomes despondent and then depressed. This affects all areas of her life, leading to the complete destruction of her personality.
- The development of other neurotic diseases, which can subsequently lead to treatment in psychiatric hospitals and the use of powerful antidepressants.
- Difficulties in experiencing emotions. Now you only have access to anger and fear. Others, namely positive emotions, you cannot fully feel.
- You cannot trust other people, communicate with them, or ask for help. It may seem to a girl that the whole world is against her, and she must solve her problems herself.
- The emergence of addiction to alcohol or other addictions.
If a girl is afraid of a new relationship, then it is important to prevent the development of pathology. The key rule is to ask for help from a specialist who will help you overcome your fear. But, you can cope with this situation on your own. True, this is very difficult to do, since it requires constant work on oneself and analysis of one’s own behavior from the outside. Sometimes it can be difficult to accurately assess yourself. In this case, outsiders come to the rescue.
The essence of a phobia
In medicine, this phenomenon is described as an overwhelming, abnormal and unreasonable fear of falling in love. Severe rejection of all expressions of love leads to real physical symptoms that interfere with a person's daily life and affect his personal connections with friends, family and loved ones.
Some people suffering from this disease are aware of their irrational state, but find it difficult to control it. And even if a person falls in love, it causes severe emotional shock. Some people are so afraid of love that they cannot open up to anyone.
They do have a serious relationship, but they are not able to fully support it. Their mental well-being often depends on the reaction of their loved one. This keeps them constantly tense and anxious.
What to do
Fear of relationships with men does not allow the development of novels and a normal life. To overcome fear, it is important to follow these tips:
- Think about yourself. It is important to start with yourself, therefore, think about what exactly prevents you from coping with such fear. Maybe you've been burned in the past, so it's important to talk to your ex to sort things out. Or do you, deep down in your heart, hope that your relationship with him will be renewed? Remove the excess tinsel and get to work.
- If you cannot cope with the problem on your own, then seek psychological advice. Remember that in the absence of therapy, you may face irreparable consequences for yourself. It is important not just to have one session with a psychologist, but to work through your fear. Perhaps a specialist will “dig” deeply and help you cope with related problems. But you should approach the choice of a psychologist responsibly. Study reviews, ask loved ones for recommendations. Currently, psychological assistance provided on the Internet is becoming a salvation. There is a huge selection of services online where you can get help from a psychologist online. Share a problem and find a solution. It is convenient and fast, and is absolutely not inferior to personal meetings with a psychologist.
- Ask your family for advice. Be part of the family, don't distance yourself from it. Many of our problems come from childhood. Therefore, if you really suffer from a lack of understanding of how to behave with a man, then talk to your mother or grandmother. Maybe they had the same problems and solved them. In any case, the support of your close circle will never be superfluous.
- Go on a trip. You will need to completely switch your head, disconnect from your worries and try to enjoy life “here and now.” Traveling is perfect for this. Moreover, it doesn’t matter whether you go abroad or to a neighboring city. The main thing is to find solitude and new inspiration.
- Engage in self-development. You can join a gym, wrestle, draw, or take music lessons. You can also go to university and get a new education. Perhaps by changing your location, as well as switching your focus to something more important, you will be able to get rid of your own experiences that relate to the fear of a serious relationship.
As a result, in order to prevent the worsening of psychological problems, to get rid of experiences associated with the absence of a man and relationships in life, it is important to understand your problem as soon as possible and begin to solve it. Regardless of which solution method you choose, it is best to act in their entirety. This way you can achieve the best result. But don't rush. After all, it is not the consequence that should be eliminated, but the cause of fear. Otherwise, after some period of time you may again encounter such a harmful condition.
Treatment of this pathology:
Treatment takes place in several directions. During the treatment process, emotional and personal problems are corrected.
- Psychotherapy. The method is selected separately for each case, depending on the personal qualities of the patient and the characteristics of the disorder. Psychoanalysis, group trainings, auto-trainings are used. Self-esteem is corrected during the treatment process. The main reason for the appearance of fear is revealed. Then the fear is processed at the subconscious level.
- Psychocorrection. Special situations are used, after coping with which, a person gets rid of fear.
- Hypnosis. A person is put into a trance state, in which he is taught the correct reaction to a stimulus.
- Autotraining. When using regular autogenic training, a person’s stress level decreases. Which accordingly makes his condition easier.
- Drug therapy. Drugs of different pharmacological groups are used: tranquilizers, antidepressants, antipsychotics. They help eliminate disturbed mood.
- Rehabilitation . The results achieved during psychotherapy and drug correction should be consolidated in everyday life. With the participation of relatives and friends, patients maintain a healthy lifestyle, including regular varied nutrition and moderate physical activity.
Fear of beautiful women
Causes:
- Lack of self-confidence, inferiority complex
- The stereotype that beautiful women will always try to take over a man
- Fear of Rejection
- The stereotype that beautiful women are stupid and selfish
How to express it:
- At the sight of a beautiful girl, a person experiences shortness of breath, dizziness, and rapid heartbeat.
The cause of fear is lack of self-confidence
- A man feels uncomfortable in the company of a beautiful girl.
- A man communicates well with girls of ordinary appearance, but panics when communicating with beauties.
- In cases of severe phobia, a man may run away from the place where a beautiful woman is.
A man feels uncomfortable in the company of a beautiful girl.
Ways to solve the problem:
- If the guy is still a teenager, then this phobia will most likely go away with time.
- Contact a psychologist. Find out what event from the past caused this phobia.
- Take a self-esteem course.
- Learn affirmations about self-love and repeat them to yourself during phobia attacks.
Find out what event from the past caused this phobia
