In the morning you wake up in a great mood, go out with a wide smile and dream that the next day will give you only positive and pleasant emotions. But an acquaintance you meet on the way to work begins to tell you that his wife is a real witch, the cashier in the store, looking into your eyes with a malicious grin, says that he does not have small bills, the boorish-looking driver who is driving in front of you does not bothers to show which way he will turn, etc. Not a trace remains of your good mood...
Why do people behave this way? Why do colleagues at work shamelessly gossip about a woman with whom they were having a nice conversation a minute ago? Why do the strong humiliate the weak, try to finish them off morally and make a laughing stock out of them? Why are people so angry? Today we will try to find answers to these important questions.
He's two-faced
Yes, such people often surprise with their masks. And that is why it is so difficult to immediately calculate their hardness of heart. They love to please everyone (we will talk about this in more detail in the next paragraph) and therefore at the beginning of acquaintance you will never see his dark side, he will diligently cover it with his “white mask”. If, nevertheless, the true face accidentally appears out in some outburst of rage that he cannot control, he will apologize for a long time and shout that he was not himself, this usually does not happen to him and he himself did not know that created. They are distinguished theatergoers and at such moments they are ready to lose their pride and portray a person unhappy and so depressed by what happened that he will ask for forgiveness and perhaps even shed a tear, which usually bribes the one who witnessed his cruelty, the victim believes that he is so sincerely repentant a person really could not express himself in such a way.
Only those closest to him can see his real face . And not only do they suffer from the fact that there is a cruel person next to them who brings a lot of pain, but usually no one believes them when they try to complain to others about this person, because with strangers he is such a sweetheart, no one ever will think that he can behave the way you say. And most likely you will be labeled a liar and a slanderer who is trying to discredit such a good person.
Wants to please everyone around him
Such people are so afraid to show their true colors that they are ready to do anything in order to be good in the eyes of others - lies, endless proof, etc. Very often they take pity , telling tearful stories from their past and justifying their unsightly actions with psychological trauma from them, or simply sharing their sob stories to evoke compassion and sympathy. Moreover, half of these stories can be made up or turned in a different direction, naturally, beneficial for him; they are excellent at distorting facts . For example, he can tell with tears in his eyes how a woman cheated on him and now because of this he is so jealous and distrustful, although in fact it was he who cheated on her, and he has always been a pathological jealous person.
The funny thing is that such people try to look white and fluffy in front of absolutely everyone , even if it is a complete stranger whom he will never see again. Sometimes you get the feeling that by making excuses to them, they are, as it were, making excuses to themselves.
Never admits his mistakes
Abusive people almost never admit to their own mistakes. They will foam at the mouth to prove that they are right, blame anyone around them, but will not admit to their own mistakes. In general, their main strategy in disputes is attack, rather than constructive dialogue and listening to the other side. It is not so important for him to achieve the truth as to blame his opponent for everything by any means and make him the culprit of the entire situation.
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Why are people angry? Crowd or herd psychology
Also, sometimes the effect of anger can manifest itself in some people without any personal reasons; we can call it the effect of the crowd, “the crowd is angry, I’m angry,” and the reasons, as a rule, are not important.
This can often be observed during various kinds of revolutions or wars. This effect can also be observed even in everyday life, for example, in line at a store, on the Internet.
He doesn't feel guilty
Cruel people not only do not admit their guilt out loud, but they also do not sincerely feel it themselves. They always believe that even in their obviously unsightly actions, someone else is to blame (“I was provoked,” “he started it first,” etc.). Moreover, they will manipulate the facts in any way they like and turn them in the right direction in order to prove not only to everyone, but also to themselves, their infallibility. And they lie so much that they themselves believe it.
Moreover, this applies to all areas of life. Someone is also usually to blame for his problems and failures - a neighbor, the government, a boss, a wife, but not him, no. He is perfect.
He enjoys seeing others' misfortune and pain.
Even if they try to express some kind of regret, in fact they are triumphant because the person is feeling bad. This is very clearly demonstrated by the fact that all their advice is, in fact, if you think about it, useless, condolences are on duty, and offers of help will probably never be implemented . Because such a person does not want to sincerely help you, but is simply once again trying to look good in your eyes.
In addition, they are cruel in their treatment of those who are weaker than them . For example, with animals. And this gives them away very much. Yes, he can punish him for an offense or prank, but look with what pleasure and frenzy he does this, and, moreover, he usually goes too far and punishes much more seriously than the offense is worth.
List of negative qualities and bad character traits of a person
Daria Milai will be happy to help everyone get to know their own “I” and develop further actions to work on themselves; for this you should sign up for a personal consultation. In the meantime, here is a short list of undesirable properties found in people.
Authoritarianism
Leadership, the desire to remain in charge in everything, while ignoring the needs of others. Such an individual implicitly or explicitly demands submission and discipline, without taking into account the opinions of others. Any refusal is perceived hotly, and compromises are not taken into account.
Aggressiveness
Conflict, the desire to arouse emotions in the interlocutor with the help of a raised tone, provocations and insults. In childhood, this trait is considered mandatory, as it develops in the child the ability to protect his own interests. However, in adults it is attributed to the negative and interferes with beneficial interaction in society.
Gambling
Unlike a goal-oriented person, a gambling person tries to achieve a goal, regardless of the level of risk, ignoring other people's views and arguments. On his way, he spends much more effort and money than he will gain by getting what he wants. Often this trait leads to unpleasant situations, including loss of health or finances.
Greed
Painful attraction to gain in various situations. Only the acquisition of goods at any cost gives such a person positive feelings. At the same time, the duration of joy is quite short-lived.
Apathy
Emotional indifference to all manifestations of life, irritants. The reason for this is character traits or a protective function regarding stressful situations. However, this quality becomes an obstacle to the implementation of even the simplest plans.
Disorderly
Negligence in performing duties due to unwillingness to comply with the established algorithm or lack of understanding of how to do this at the lowest cost. It is more typical for girls who have recently escaped from under the wing of their parents.
Indifference
A state of disinterest in what is happening, people or events. This may be a reaction to stressful situations or the result of poor parenting.
Irresponsibility
Refusal to perceive consequences, lack of desire to take serious steps and make decisions. Such an individual will not solve the problem, hoping that it will disappear on its own.
Facelessness
Such a person has no personal qualities, and therefore does not stand out from the crowd. She shows no interest in the company, talks about boring topics and resists any changes in every possible way.
Ruthlessness
Another negative characteristic of a person, meaning indifference to the troubles of others. Such an interlocutor will not support a loved one, sympathize or condole. This applies not only to other people, but to all living things.
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Rudeness
Deviation from established norms, swagger and tactlessness in specific situations. Conscious manifestation indicates attempts to attract attention, while unconscious manifestation indicates poor upbringing or immaturity.
Talkativeness
Being sociable is good, but you need to know when to stop. The pathological desire to insert one’s word in any conversation, without thinking about the relevance and content of the discussion, is bad. The main goal of a chatterbox is to make contact, not to obtain new information.
windiness
Showing irresponsibility. Such a person does not keep his promises, does not take into account the interests of others and does not know how to achieve goals. He constantly changes companies, is not limited by the rules of behavior established in society, and quickly fades away to new activities.
Lust for power
Love of control over everything, demand for unquestioning obedience and the desire to have unlimited power in the hands. A power-hungry individual enjoys his elevated position over others, especially when he is asked for help.
Suggestibility
Lack of own point of view. This is a craving for imposed principles and behavior on a subconscious level. But the “golden mean” rule applies here. Since a reduced level leads to poor learning ability.
Vulgarity
Lack of a sense of balance between originality and vulgarity in interactions and actions. This may concern such aspects as the choice of clothing or life guidelines.
Stupidity
Inability to draw logical conclusions from phenomena. This negative personality trait manifests itself in a tendency to accept populist statements and pseudoscientific phrases as the ultimate truth, without subjecting them to critical analysis.
Pride
A proud individual is confident in his exclusivity and convinced of the insignificance of others. He does not forgive other people's mistakes and denies the worthy qualities of those around him. The reason is degradation due to disease, immaturity combined with a high position.
Coarseness
Deviation of politeness and delicacy in conversation and actions. This is a reluctance to adhere to an acceptable format of communication, manifested in obscene language, insults and a raised voice.
Greed, stinginess
The desire to keep costs to a minimum in any situation, even if this threatens loss of health or is contrary to common sense. A greedy person may refuse to take out the trash, get rid of trash, or ignore the requests of loved ones if they relate to material expenses.
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Cruelty
This is one of the biggest human character flaws on our list. It means the desire to cause discomfort and misfortune to others for the sake of satisfaction. Such impact can be physical or intangible.
Forgetfulness
Inability to remember basic things. It is a consequence of age-related changes, excessive information load, or an unpleasant situation that you want to get out of your head.
Addiction
Pathological desires to obtain satisfaction from the effects of substances or specific actions. This can harm your health or relationships with people, it can hit you hard, or it can become a consequence of a crime.
Envy
Inability to be satisfied with one's goods and abilities. Such a person constantly looks at those around him, compares his values with theirs, lives by the principle “others have better and tastier food.”
Complexity
Low self-esteem and obsession with one's own shortcomings. A complex person puts himself at a lower level, is embarrassed by his appearance and actions, and because of this cannot fully realize his potential.
tediousness
It’s a bad habit to bore you with moralizing, to touch on the same topic in a conversation, regardless of the lack of interest of your interlocutors. This tendency originates from the love of endless discussions on any subject.
Anger
Another negative quality of a person’s character on our list, indicating dissatisfaction and living in uncomfortable conditions. The emergence of this feeling must be closely monitored, as it often pushes people to break the law.
Spoiled
A habit that is caused by a lack of education. Such a person demands the immediate fulfillment of his desires, without taking into account possibilities and making claims.
Laziness
The desire to find comfort at the expense of other people's labor, refusal to make efforts to satisfy needs. A lazy person loves to waste personal time and do nothing for days on end.
Deceit
Issuance of knowingly false information for the purpose of slander. Characteristic of people with low self-esteem who try to elevate themselves by humiliating others through deception.
Hypocrisy
Pretense, false statements of love, sincerity and goodwill towards the interlocutor. This is done in order to gain benefit by ingratiating oneself even when experiencing completely opposite feelings.
Flattery
The desire to regularly praise the real and imaginary virtues of others for the sake of self-interest and profit. Usually appears to people with high status. A typical act of a flatterer may be to “whitewash” negative qualities and actions.
Curiosity
This should not be confused with curiosity. A curious individual strives to find out everything about someone else's life, throwing aside all decency. It is an unhealthy tendency to be aware of what is happening.
Pettiness
Attaching colossal significance to your smallest statements and actions. Sticking out one's insignificant traits against the heroic and important actions of others. In men, it often manifests itself in the form of demands for expense reports down to the penny.
Vindictiveness
Consciously remembering all minor conflicts, offensive words or fictitious humiliations in order to later compensate the offender in full. However, the time factor is not taken into account here.
Impudence
Insensitive behavior in society. The impudent one tries to get what he wants by “jumping over the heads” of others. The characteristic develops due to defects in upbringing and spoilage.
Arrogance
Treating others as subjects of a lower category due to invented personal advantages or real material security and high position.
Annoyance
Lack of desire or ability to deal with one’s own difficulties on one’s own, to relax or have fun. The reason for this may be immaturity or fear of loneliness.
Narcissism
Narcissism, praising one's personality in any situation, even if this behavior is inappropriate. Such people tend to exaggerate the results of their activities, selfishness and indifference to others.
Negligence
Poor performance of assigned tasks, neglect in all forms, be it personal or professional relationships. It originates from lack of education or characteristic deformation.
Touchiness
A hyperbolic negative reaction to everyday trifles and troubles, arising from an increased sense of selfishness. Because of him, a person wants to be the center of attention, so that others, forgetting about themselves, hover around her feet and show care and generosity.
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Limitation
Closely overlaps with arrogance. Such a person considers his worldview to be the only correct one and rejects other opinions, thinking that their bearers are narrow-minded. Usually occurs due to insufficient education or inability to adequately perceive information.
Alarmism
Fear of imagined catastrophic consequences of even the most minor incidents. This is a bad influence in the education of a “reinsurer” or a consequence of a wild imagination.
vulgarity
Choosing too revealing outfits, demonstrating financial security through the purchase of unnecessary expensive items. Another definition is “greasy” jokes and anecdotes told with the aim of causing awkwardness in the company.
Irritability
Excessive emotional reaction to any stimulus. The intensity of emotions often does not correspond to the strength of the influence of the irritating factor. This property is caused by fatigue or stress.
Extravagance
Inability to spend finances rationally, the desire to make purchases only for the sake of activity, and not to acquire the necessary things. The reason is the pursuit of a mask of material security.
Jealousy
Mistrust based on imaginary suspicions of infidelity or affection for another. This applies not only to your partner, but also to relatives, friends, and so on.
Self-criticism
A negative habit, expressed in the periodic identification of one’s own mistakes and “sinfulness.” Thus, the individual reproaches himself for his irresponsible attitude towards responsibilities, although he gives his best. This comes from low self-esteem or excessive perfectionism.
Self-confidence
Unreasonable exaltation of one's skills and abilities. This causes risky actions that defy safety and logic. Justified by inexperience or a painful desire to walk on the “edge of the blade.”
Weakness
Lack of willpower, as a result of which a person cannot make serious decisions or fight back, stand up for himself and his beliefs. The other side is the inability to resist temptations and illegal actions.
Cowardice
Closely related to the previous point. It is expressed in fleeing the scene of events due to fear for one’s own life, avoiding important conversations and actions. Such an individual does not know how to resist an opponent in a dispute.
Vanity
Love of praise for real or imagined merits. The desire to make a positive impression, to create a positive image, and not to work on oneself in order to receive deserved compliments.
Stubbornness
Performing actions only because of one’s convictions, rejecting authorities and social rules due to the habit of doing what was decided. It is also the exclusion of compromises in the battle of interests, the inability to take into account the opinions of others.
Selfishness
The need to live in prosperity and comfort, without considering the possible inconvenience of others. Egoists put themselves, their interests, needs first and act according to benefit.
He is only interested in his own needs, he is deaf to the needs of others
Actually, this follows from the previous sign. Why would he listen to your needs and your opinions if he doesn't want to bring anything good into your life? Therefore, he will either remain deaf to them, or do the opposite and say that this happened and he could not have done otherwise.
But cruel people are also able to masterfully hide this trait when they need it. For example, when a situation is beneficial for them, it is necessary to attract a person, they are ready to support his opinion, listen and assent to every word . But don’t flatter yourself - this will only happen as long as this person needs you and your favor for some purpose.
Wants to control everything and becomes aggressive and vindictive if things don’t go according to his plan
Moreover, both your own life and the lives of people nearby. They usually like everyone to play by their rules, and these rules are often quite strict, because cruel people are very pedantic and want every thing to be in its place, every person to strictly fulfill the role assigned to him, which the pedant himself for him invented. Therefore, everyone is subject to total control, from a life partner, who becomes a victim of eternal checks and outbursts of jealousy, to relatives, subordinates, etc.
They are able to lose their temper when something does not happen according to plan and bring down all their anger on the poor guy who was not lucky enough to be the cause of it (and since, as we remember, they certainly blame someone for all problems another, and not yourself, such a culprit is almost always found). Moreover, the more trauma the “culprit” inflicted, the more anger will be poured out on him. Sometimes cruel people, driven by a sense of revenge, are ready to devote almost their entire lives to ruining the life of another who hurt him, even if he did it unintentionally or he himself provoked him to such an act. Moreover, they do not disdain any methods to achieve their goal of revenge .
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Why do people become angrier over time?
As a rule, the more troubles a person has during his life's journey, the more negative and angrier he becomes. That is, his negative reaction to irritation becomes pronounced anger. In a global format, we can say that other people, or rather their actions, make people evil.
Why people are angry, psychology of anger, benefits and harms
Often, people who are religious or spiritually developed struggle with their anger on a conscious level, and can also control the manifestation of their emotions, while low spiritual people and so to speak “primitive materialists” do not understand in most cases the anger of others. emotions, but live as a kind of biological organism exclusively on the material plane or according to the principle “like everyone else.”
In some cases, anger can even help, for example, in sports - it will help an athlete release more energy and testosterone and win a competition. In a fight, anger also mobilizes the body’s strength.
But nevertheless, it is better to be a spiritually and emotionally developed person, then you will understand the processes and reasons for your emotions, and you will never be a thoughtless crowd, but will comprehensively analyze your actions and emotions and only then make a fully informed decision with a cool head. We hope the article “why people are angry psychology” sheds a little light on the reasons for people’s anger and why it arises.
Tends to talk about others and gossip
They tend to discuss everyone around them (naturally, in a negative light), spread gossip and pour bile and poison on everyone they meet.
By this sign, you can quite identify a cruel person, just listen carefully to how he speaks about those around him. It’s one thing when he doesn’t like the elected representatives from his circle, and another thing when everything happens, even without any particular reason, or for far-fetched and concocted reasons. He may not even really know the person, but he automatically doesn’t like him anymore and he will find a reason to say nasty things about him .
In addition, if an ordinary person expresses his opinion relatively indifferently or even with regret that he was disappointed in a person, then someone prone to harshness will speak with frenzy, using all sorts of gross insults and as if experiencing physical pleasure from what he is saying .
Medical factors
of norepinephrine in the blood increases in people .
This is a hormone of the adrenal medulla, which is in many ways similar in its characteristics to adrenaline.
During negative emotional reactions, due to an increase in the level of norepinephrine in the blood, the heart rate increases, blood pressure increases, and blood supply to the muscles increases.
If you pay attention to an angry person, you can notice the redness of his face, muscle tension, and a change in facial expressions.
In a state of strong excitement, a person begins to speak loudly, his nostrils flare, and his breathing quickens.
All these external manifestations of experienced dissatisfaction are the result of an increase in the level of norepinephrine in the blood. It is for this reason that it is so important not to keep feelings inside, but to give them a way out. This allows you to reduce the negative impact on the body .
He enjoys humiliating others
Actually, this is directly related to pleasure from someone else's pain. But it is a sign that is worth highlighting, since it is by it that a cruel person can be identified especially easily.
They usually have a specific sense of humor . At least, this is how others and themselves explain it. But in fact, constant attempts to make unpleasant jokes at a person, especially in public, to put him in an unsightly light, are completely conscious actions. Moreover, they do not shun the most acute and painful topics for humans. Do not hope that, having revealed your secret to such a person and made it clear to him that this is very important to you and brings you the greatest pain, he will not use it in the future and will avoid this topic in his jokes. No, on the contrary, he will use it, knowing that it will give you the most unpleasant sensations. If you try to appeal to his conscience, he will pretend to be a fool, saying, he didn’t think that it would be unpleasant for you, or he will even make you feel guilty that you don’t understand jokes or are offended by little things. It is very comfortable.
He has double standards
They usually very harshly and adamantly declare some of their life views, but in fact, they usually make these demands only on others, and not on themselves , and, moreover, they can change in accordance with his benefit and depending on situations.
For example, at the very beginning, he can tell his woman that he believes that the main thing in a relationship is fidelity and honesty, and he himself will recklessly cheat and lie, but ask his wife to fulfill the initially stated demands.
In addition, in any situation, he can twist his own words and statements in a way that is convenient for him, and naturally interpret the same act committed by him and another person differently , in his direction.
Tight control
Evil toxic people are very jealous, they are typical owners. They consider their soulmate, friend or comrade as a thing. They behave with a person like a child with a toy, they are treated like a thing, and not like living people. They do not want to share with anyone everything that they consider theirs. With such a toxic person, you feel trapped in a small space or in a vice. These people may not give freedom or limit it.
If the relationship has gone too far, smart toxic people can act differently: they give freedom, and then take it away again. This behavior causes the victim to become even more attached to his tormentor.
