Something is constantly bothering us - so constantly that we are used to existing in this state and not even suspecting that we are preventing ourselves from living the way we want. Unfortunately, you cannot completely get rid of anxiety, especially in a constantly rushing world, but you can reduce its intensity on your own. We re-read Tanya Peterson’s book “Inner Peace. 101 ways to cope with anxiety, fear and panic attacks” and selected several practical tips for dealing with strong feelings.
How to identify anxiety
It’s worth saying right away that anxiety is a completely normal state that performs a very important function of alerting us to possible danger. And everything would be fine, but modern people are not often threatened by something in the literal sense, but it seems that more and more triggers appear. So anxiety becomes more of a problem than a survival aid. It leads to emotional burnout, chronic stress and constant fatigue, due to which we cannot function fully.
There are several symptoms that can help you determine how anxious you are lately:
- I can't stop thinking about what has already happened.
- I worry about what will happen in the future; I worry equally about tomorrow and about what will happen in a few years.
- I feel tired, but I am constantly on edge.
- I often “switch off” and cannot continue working.
- I'm plagued by obsessive thoughts.
- I have little obvious cause for great concern.
- I try to avoid people and certain places.
- I feel like I'm at a dead end.
- I'm trying to get rid of anxiety, but it doesn't go away.
- My relationships with people, my work and I suffer.
If you've been experiencing at least a few of these symptoms for a long time, it may be time to slow down a little and pay more attention to yourself, your mental health and lifestyle changes that can help reduce your stress levels.
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Causes of unreasonable anxiety and worry
The onset of anxiety disorder is influenced by heredity. It has been discovered that certain brain structures and features of biological processes play an important role in the occurrence of fear and anxiety. Personality characteristics, physical health problems, lifestyle and various types of addictions also matter. Sometimes causeless anxiety and worry have no reason. Negative feelings usually have a trigger—an event or thought that triggers an anxious response. However, most people are unaware of their triggers and believe their emotions are unfounded. In this case, only a specialist will help you understand why anxiety occurs for no reason.
There are a number of diseases whose symptoms include constant anxiety. With unreasonable fear and anxiety, the reasons may be as follows:
- Generalized anxiety disorder: persistent nervousness and worry about small things that are usually visible to others and last for 6 months or more. Begins in adolescence and intensifies with age.
- Obsessive-compulsive disorder: obsessive thoughts and fears that are accompanied by compulsive actions that do not bring relief. There is obsessive-compulsive neurosis - a person is indomitably haunted by memories that reproduce a traumatic situation.
- Phobias: irrational fear of any, even mundane, things. Accompanied by uncontrollable panic and physical manifestations.
- A panic attack is a painful and sudden attack of panic, which is accompanied by a fear of death and vivid somatic symptoms. Regular occurrence of panic attacks means the development of panic disorder.
- Post-traumatic stress disorder: occurs after a severe traumatic situation and is accompanied by high levels of anxiety, avoidance and flashbacks.
These are the most common examples, but pathological anxiety can be a symptom of other disorders or a consequence of unsuccessful management of stress. If you want to understand why you feel anxious for no reason, you should consult a doctor. Without finding out the main factor and working on it, it is impossible to restore health and mental balance.
Getting rid of obsessive thoughts
It seems to us that the more we think about a problem, the more likely we are to find a solution or prepare for possible unpleasant consequences. In reality, we do little to help ourselves when we think about something that really bothers us. The level of anxiety increases, and even if you have a solution to the problem, this does not mean that you will instantly stop worrying. What to do in such a situation?
Exercise “I have a thought”
When we think about the subject of our anxiety, it is as if we stop being in the present time and are transported to the past or future. The exercise helps you return to reality and remind yourself that your experiences are just thoughts, albeit largely justified (but not always).
Think about what's bothering you and say, “I have a feeling that the conversation with management tomorrow won't go well. And it's just a thought"
. Even better, say it out loud, and it will become easier for you to return to your previous activities and not live with what has not yet happened or has already happened.
The question "What if?"
We are often visited by thoughts that can be formulated through one question: “What if?” What if we're not right for each other? What if the boss calls me to meet in order to cut my salary? Such thoughts appear completely randomly, they cannot be controlled, since they are directly related to our experiences and fears. However, you can develop the habit of always finding an alternative.
Think of a new, positive response to every worrying thought you have. For example, assume that a meeting with your boss will lead to a promotion, or that a potentially tense conversation with your partner will result in agreement. It would be useful to treat this with a little humor and imagine a completely absurd outcome: for example, that the manager gives up everything and moves to the North Pole, and leaves you in charge without explanation. By approaching anxiety with humor, you will change the vector of your thoughts and feel a little better.
Concentration on breathing
It's no secret that in our body all systems are connected to each other. If we are angry, the pulse quickens, if we are in a calm state, it slows down. Obsessive thoughts can cause headaches, and prolonged inactivity will lead to muscle discomfort, causing your body to send signals to move with all its might.
Meanwhile, consciously focusing on breathing will have the opposite effect: if obsessive thoughts lead to rapid breathing, then calmness will relieve unnecessary stress. Your task is to slowly inhale and exhale, concentrating on this process. Think about how the chest fills with air and releases it. Repeat several times until breathing returns to normal.
Storytel is an international audiobook subscription service. The Storytel library contains audiobooks of almost all genres, from classics and non-fiction to lectures, stand-ups and podcasts. This is a service that solves the reading problem. It allows you to listen to audiobooks anytime, anywhere: while working out, while cooking, on the way to and from work, on the plane, before bed, and whenever else. Storytel creates and records its own unique content - lecture projects, podcasts, audio series, and also collaborates with the best voices in the country.
Anxiety: good or evil?
In most cases in real life, anxiety actually works for our benefit: we are afraid to be at heights, cross a busy road in the wrong place, or get anxious when passing a pack of dogs. All these fears are well founded.
But it also happens differently: when the anxiety and fear in the soul are groundless, and the object we fear does not actually pose a danger, or is even completely fictitious (for example, many cannot sleep after watching a horror film). It also happens that our anxiety is completely justified, but it is strong and destructive, and we cannot influence the course of events. So it turns out: we are afraid, worried, anxious - but this does not bring any benefit, but only harm.
For example, fear of crowds (although this is more related to anxiety disorders) leads a person to be afraid to visit public places. Fear of condemnation and negative evaluation becomes an obstacle to self-realization in a career where it is necessary to communicate and speak in public.
Very often, anxiety is unconscious: a person is oppressed by something, he has a vague premonition of impending disaster, but he cannot formulate what he specifically fears or is afraid of. It is the most difficult thing to remove such anxiety from the soul: it is impossible to foresee potentially dangerous (or imagined as such) situations in this case. As a result, a person experiences chronic stress, which negatively affects not only mental, but also physical well-being. He experiences insomnia, nightmares, decreased performance, increased blood pressure, headaches and heart pain, and digestive disorders.
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Coping with anxiety at work
No matter how much we love our work, it often comes with a certain level of stress, which is quite normal until anxiety begins to affect results, concentration and relationships with colleagues. The most common cause of anxiety at work is the presence of someone “above us”, whose opinion determines your performance, sense of self-worth, motivation and much more. However, there are methods that will help you shift your focus and gain self-confidence.
Good morning ritual
Many will agree that almost the rest of the day depends on our morning rise. Often, in fact, the reluctance to wake up and get out of bed is not laziness at all, but an alarm signal, since it may seem to you that something is bound to happen at work that will only confirm all your worst fears. By getting up in the morning with these thoughts, you reinforce a certain behavior that does not set you up for productivity at all. What can you do?
- Clean your room the night before so you don't wake up to stress-inducing clutter.
- Place a glass of water next to your bed. When your alarm goes off, take a deep breath, stretch, sit up, and drink all your water. Wait a while, listen to your body. This helps reduce anxiety.
- Move from the bedroom to a specially organized space. Sit quietly, consciously observing the surroundings, sounds and smells in the room. Assess how you feel while sitting in your chair. Do a short meditation, concentrating on inhalation and exhalation.
- Enjoy a cup of decaffeinated tea or coffee (caffeine tends to increase anxiety).
- When you feel ready, stand up slowly and continue to prepare for the day ahead.
Mantra of non-judgment
Judging yourself and others leads to mental limitations, takes away strength and resources, and also increases the level of anxiety. While the basis of any work on oneself is the acceptance of shortcomings and weaknesses, both one’s own and those of others.
To stop the flow of restless thoughts in time, recite the mantra of non-judgment. Like affirmations, a mantra is a statement that reminds you of something important. Tell yourself: “Today I am not judging anyone or anything.”
or
“My mind is open, my thoughts are neutral
. Come up with a mantra that will help you, and repeat it to yourself as often as possible so as not to get stuck in judgment.
Toxic perfectionist
There is a small part in almost all of us that prevents us from enjoying life because “nothing is perfect.” Experiencing anxiety from a feeling of imperfection, you do not allow yourself to feel harmony and satisfaction from what you have done, which is why the desire for ideal only increases. And along with it comes the level of anxiety. This is an unpleasant vicious circle that can be broken by accepting your imperfections. You are already good enough, and the following exercise will help you see that:
- Describe a situation when perfectionism only got in your way.
- If you made a mistake, what then? Think and write down as many possible consequences as possible - both positive and negative.
- Study this list. If each of the consequences happened, how would you cope with the failure?
By thinking about the cause of the anxiety, rather than the anxiety itself, you will learn to look at it in a new way, and also to notice that, despite the imperfections, you have actually already done a lot to ensure that everything is fine and with a minimum of mistakes.
Storytel is an international audiobook subscription service. The Storytel library contains audiobooks of almost all genres, from classics and non-fiction to lectures, stand-ups and podcasts. This is a service that solves the reading problem. It allows you to listen to audiobooks anytime, anywhere: while working out, while cooking, on the way to and from work, on the plane, before bed, and whenever else. Storytel creates and records its own unique content - lecture projects, podcasts, audio series, and also collaborates with the best voices in the country.
Normal and pathological anxiety
There is so-called “normal” situational anxiety, which arises in connection with certain circumstances and does not have a significant impact on a person’s activity and quality of life. In addition, there is pathological anxiety, the main symptoms of which are:
- pronounced, constant or frequently occurring feelings of anxiety;
- discrepancy between the severity of anxiety and the circumstances that cause it;
- the influence of anxiety on human behavior and activity.
The connection between specific circumstances and the intensity of anxiety is broken. The feeling of anxiety seems to begin to live its own life, turning into a constant emotional background with sharp bursts of activity in any uncertain and unfavorable situations.
Strengthening relationships with people
Relationships are very important to us: we worry about what people close to us think of us, we play different roles when communicating with colleagues or friends, because this is more likely to win favor. Whether we like it or not, we need to communicate with people at least sometimes, which can be a cause for anxiety for many of us. While there are many opportunities around us to enjoy communications, rather than carefully avoid them. There are several simple exercises that will help, if not get rid of anxiety, then at least reduce it to an acceptable level.
List of positive points
Experiences make us think about the most negative consequences of communication and completely forget about what good happened between you and, say, your partner. To remember the pleasant things, make a list for yourself of a variety of moments when you were happy.
If you have problems with this, then perhaps your anxiety level does not allow you to truly enjoy spending time with this or that person. A list can also help here, but now of positive aspects that you need to create with your own hands. For example:
- Treat a close friend to coffee and spend time with him.
- Create a shared playlist with friends or family.
- Find someone with whom you can go to exhibitions, to the gym or for your daily morning run.
After that, start implementing situations in which you think you will be happy. And try to live in this moment, and not worry that something will definitely not go according to plan.
Caring for yourself and others
We all experience it - just some to a greater extent, and some to a lesser extent. Nevertheless, each of us has plenty of reasons for anxiety, self-doubt and the feeling that we will eventually be abandoned. Just being reminded of this brings you back to reality and confirms the fact that you are completely not alone in your anxiety.
What to do in this case? Mantras that will be directed both at you and those around you can help you. Formulate life-affirming phrases for yourself that will remind you in moments of anxiety that your experiences are normal and familiar to everyone. For example:
- I will allow myself to accept myself as I am. / Let others accept themselves as they are.
- I will allow myself to accept my mistakes calmly. / Let others take their mistakes in stride.
- I will allow myself to be happy with what I can do. / Let others rejoice in their achievements.
The list can be anything, as long as it reflects your concerns.
How anxiety manifests itself - the main symptoms
Everyone is different, and anxiety is different for everyone - it can have emotional, psychological or physical symptoms. It has been noticed that the anxiety in the soul from the manifestation of physical symptoms only intensifies.
Psychological and emotional symptoms include:
- sleep disorders;
- excitement in anticipation of future events; it seems that all troubles, troubles, disasters are directed against you;
- inability to concentrate and concentrate due to unreasonable anxiety;
- constant feeling of anxiety and bad premonitions;
- groundless obsessive fears, even if their inconsistency is clear;
- irritability and increased nervousness;
- panic attacks and depression.
Physical symptoms of anxiety may include:
- loss of appetite;
- weaknesses;
- dizziness;
- headache;
- vomiting;
- frequent urge to urinate;
- increased sweating;
- unknown pain in the chest;
- weakening of sexual feelings;
- breathing disorders;
- muscle spasms and muscle pain.