15 Amazing Facts About Love You (Probably) Didn't Know

How do different peoples of the world express love?

Until now, each country has its own understanding of love, which may seem strange and even wild to people of another culture:

Tiwi girls cannot choose their husbands - they are already matched at birth.
The romanticism of the French is a myth. Residents of the country are pragmatic and prefer open relationships to marriage.
Italians are born actors. While they ardently confess their love, they may not feel it at all.
Middle-aged Germans prefer to take care of young girls—arranged marriages here do not surprise anyone.
The USA has a “cult of family” and at the same time one of the highest divorce rates in the world. How does it fit together? Americans are looking for happy relationships and don't hold on to a failed marriage.

Of course, the selection contains only general ideas: we must always remember that each person is an individual.

Playing musical instruments

Researchers from France claim that people who can play musical instruments are more attractive among members of the opposite sex.
To confirm, they conducted a small street experiment: 300 women were asked who they would most likely give their phone to: a guy who had a guitar or a sports bag. The majority chose the musician

Klinskikh Natalya · Oct 11, 2016

Love and physiology: what happens to the body when we are in love

Let’s reveal the formula of “chemistry of love”:

The feeling causes the same surge of dopamine as when taking a large dose of cocaine. No wonder they say that love is a drug.
The “parental care” hormone, oxytocin, is responsible for tender feelings. By the way, people who produce it in large doses are less likely to cheat.
During a kiss, breathing becomes almost 3 times faster.
When lovers are close, their hearts beat in sync.
“Butterflies in the stomach” are, in fact, the consequences of a surge of adrenaline when seeing the object of attraction.

Love helps to overcome even severe pain - just a hug from a loved one is enough.

Commitment + passion + intimacy = perfect love

According to psychologist Robert Sternberg's three-part theory of love, there is a specific formula for different types of love. Sternberg names several types of love, the formulas of which consist of alternating 3 basic components: romantic love = passion + intimacy, friendly love = intimacy + devotion, invented love = passion + devotion. Of course, the strongest of all is perfect love, which consists of 3 components at once.

How does a person fall in love and how to understand it?

Let's try to reveal one of the most inaccessible secrets of our heart:

In fact, it only takes 4 minutes to find out if he likes his interlocutor.
On average, a person falls in love 12 times before finding his true love.
There is such a thing as philophobia - a natural fear of falling in love.
When you fall in love, hormones are produced that increase feelings of jealousy.
The lover becomes capable of taking risks, which could cost him his life.
If a person takes antidepressants, he is practically unable to fall in love.

By the way, people in love begin to experience a passion for sweets, chocolate.

Looking into a stranger's eyes can make you fall in love

They say that the eyes are the mirror of the soul. And it is not surprising that a simple glance at them is enough to fall in love once and for all, even with someone about whom we know nothing. Scientists have proven that the body of a person who looks at the object of sympathy produces a chemical substance called phenylethylamine, which is responsible for “mad love”. Its effect is similar to cocaine, so it makes you feel excited, euphoric and sexual desire.

Scientists have explained how men fall in love

Here is a selection of facts:

There is a stereotype that men fall in love with appearance, and women with character. Surprisingly, statistics confirm this.
The higher a guy's testosterone level, the less likely he is to get married.
It is the stronger sex that is the most capricious in relationships.
Men fall in love faster and lose their feelings faster. That's why they are often the first to admit their feelings.

Scientists followed handsome men and noticed an interesting thing: nice guys choose girls with a “simple” appearance as a couple and remain faithful to them.

Symptoms of falling in love are similar to those of obsessive-compulsive disorder

Research shows that people in the early stages of relationships have lower levels of serotonin, which is associated with feelings of happiness and well-being, and higher levels of cortisol, which is associated with stress. A similar chemical composition of hormones is observed in people suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder. This explains the behavior characteristic of lovers and the presence of obsessive thoughts about the object of love. This theory also works the other way around - people with lower serotonin levels fall in love and have sexual relations faster than others.

Let's find out how women fall in love

We are already aware of the affairs of the hearts of men, the time has come for the beautiful half of humanity:

Women prefer to choose a partner who is taller than them.
When a girl is in love, the part of her brain responsible for memory is activated. That's why ladies remember all the moments and dates of a relationship.
Looking at a photo of a loved one with whom she had to break up, a girl may experience physical pain.
The most successful relationships, contrary to stereotypes, are when the woman is older than her chosen one.

It's interesting that ladies can sometimes experience inexplicable sympathy for someone who looks intently into their eyes.

Make eye contact for two minutes

Failed to fall in love or fell in love at first sight?
Then try looking into your eyes for two whole minutes. Psychologist Joan Kellerman asked senior students who did not know each other to break into pairs and look each other straight in the eyes for two minutes continuously. As a result, it was found that after this, the favor and passion between the couples increased. This proves that this method can ignite the fire of passion. The main thing is not to overdo it, so as not to scare the person you like with too much gaze.

Love and psychology: who wins?

Psychologists explain what happens when butterflies swirl in your stomach:

If you meet someone under extreme circumstances, the chances of you falling in love with each other increase.
People tend to choose as a mate someone who resembles their parent. And not necessarily externally.
Those who fall most deeply in love are those who are not consciously seeking a romantic relationship.
Young guys suffer more from breakups than girls. But with age the opposite is true.
For a woman, a man with a low voice is subconsciously more attractive than a man with a high voice.

By the way, people tend to fall in love more with a pretty face than with a beautiful body.

Hot drinks

Psychologist John Bargh conducted an experiment during which previously unfamiliar people drank hot drinks or ate ice cream on their first date.
The result showed that those participants who treated themselves to warm drinks were left with a warmer impression of their interlocutor, unlike those who ate ice cream. So be aware that when someone invites you for coffee, it may be a cunningly planned plan.

Love and statistics: what do the numbers say?

Let's try to combine the incompatible - a cosmic feeling and “down-to-earth” arithmetic:

When meeting a nice person, 43% of people feel inexplicably afraid.
First love lives on average 4 months.
The fewest divorces are among people who got engaged after 23 years.
On average, men are 3 years older than their chosen ones.
When kissing, 75% of people tilt their heads to the right.

Scientists have found that love actually lasts 3 years. Then it moves to a new stage or disappears altogether.

What is the feeling of love from a psychological point of view?

Surprising and unique, it can lift you to the skies and throw you into the abyss of despair and doubt about your partner’s answer. Scientists tried to understand it, philosophers tried to classify it, and poets tried to glorify it. Elusive and at the same time quite tangible, it does not fit into the framework of dry interpretations. In order to somehow bring all the statements to a common denominator and organize knowledge about the subject, it was decided to focus on the form of manifestation and the conditions of occurrence, taking into account whether it manifests itself to family members or is directed at a stranger.

What is love and what is the definition of the concept in psychology? This is a feeling that is expressed by a feeling of deep affection, aspiration, and placing the desires of another above one’s own. You also need to remember that it has such signs as:

attraction;
respect;
change of priorities in favor of the object of interest;
desire to provide any type of assistance;
guardianship and care.

Disputes about the origins and forms continue to this day. The truth has not been found in the question of whether love deprives free will or whether everything happens with full awareness of the process. There are no age limits either.

Social psychoanalytic point of view

Exploring the mysterious feeling from different angles, many authors of scientific works understand that, in principle, it defies categories and classification. However, during the long debate about love psychology, 3 types were identified:

pragmatic, which prevails in successful marriages “of convenience” and based on mutual respect and understanding;
mania, in which the leading role is played by passion and jealousy, possessiveness and subconscious anticipation of future problems, which adds urgency and is an integral part of the experience;
agape or selfless service to the object of adoration, while one’s own desires are relegated to the background, but recognition and admiration for this version of events are expected from the partner.

I always clarify that these varieties are almost never found in their pure form, just like the types of temperament. In most cases, they are combined with a predominance of one of the directions.

Analytical psychology about love and relationships

A huge number of stereotypes have been created in this area, most of which were created by those who suffered a crushing defeat and did not receive reciprocation. From the point of view of the German psychologist Erich Fromm, there are 2 varieties:

according to the principle of being, which is characterized by the manifestation of interest, care, relates to creative feelings and fills the spiritual world with new meaning, and extends to both people and objects;
possession, born in the abyss of passion, but short-lived and destructive, suppressing the partner.

The first option is inherent in self-sufficient, strong individuals who are able to take responsibility for their chosen one, share strength and confidence, and warmth. They are sure that love is a feeling that does not tolerate coercion. The second type is typical for unstable, neurotic people who are accustomed to dominate and demand unquestioning submission. At the same time, transformation in a positive direction is possible, but only when mutual understanding is achieved and the desire to change for a loved one.

To create harmony, you will need a multi-stage relationship building, supported by efforts on both sides. What is required is mutual support, a willingness to listen and try to understand, and a desire to jointly find a way out of difficult situations.

Love and family: the most unexpected facts

What happens to romantic feelings in family relationships:

Unfortunately, most often divorces occur in the 5th year of marriage.
50% of all married people believe that their partner is their property.
Office romances only in 4 cases out of 10 end in marriage.
10 years is the minimum period to feel complete unity with your spouse.

But the most difficult stage in the life of many couples is the birth of a baby. It’s difficult for people to adjust to the fact that there are now not two, but three.

Falling in love is good for your health: scientific research

“Torment of the heart,” it turns out, can benefit our body:

Hugs are a natural pain reliever.
Husbands who kiss their wives in the morning every day live 5 years longer than spouses who do not.
1 minute of kissing can burn up to 26 extra calories.
Looking at a photo of a loved one can reduce pain by 44%.
In a happy marriage, people are less likely to suffer from high blood pressure.

And if a person has never fallen in love, he may suffer from hypopituitarism, a rare disease in which almost no affection hormones are produced.

"Broken Heart" Isn't Just a Metaphor

There is evidence that stressful events such as separation, divorce, loss of a loved one, betrayal or even being at a distance from a loved one can cause pain in the heart. This condition is called “Broken Heart Syndrome”. Deep emotional experiences trigger certain brain chemicals that significantly weaken the functioning of the heart, leading to severe chest pain and difficulty breathing. This disease most often affects women, and doctors often confuse it with a heart attack.

Myths about love that you should stop believing a long time ago

Unfortunately, many romantic “truths” are nothing more than fiction:

“True love is at first sight.” In a short time you can only experience sympathy, tenderness, passion. Love arises only for a person you know well.
“For the sake of love you have to sacrifice everything.” This is a very tragic scenario that turns one lover into a victim and the other into a tormentor.
"Opposites attract." Indeed, people unlike us are attractive. But real feelings are where there are similar characters, habits, worldviews and interests.
“Life ends with divorce.” On the contrary, women become more open and men become more reliable companions in subsequent relationships.

It is not true that true love is necessarily mutual. Let us remember the great romantic poets, whose true inspiration was an unrequited feeling.

Destroying myths

The opinion that the true feeling is love at first sight is speculation. In the first minutes you can experience tenderness, sympathy, sexual desire, but falling in love is possible only after long-term communication.
We think that our chosen one is unique. Attachment and passion tend to fade away, and a new hobby takes their place.
Opposites attract is a common legend. Similarity in character, temperament, outlook on the world, life attitudes - all this is the key to a strong relationship.
Be prepared that he (she) will not change over time. A person can put on a mask to be more attractive and “comfortable,” but sooner or later the true essence will make itself known.
Forget that in the name of love you need to sacrifice a lot. This masochistic pattern leads to the creation of a couple, where one is the victim and the other is the executioner.
The idea that genuine feeling is necessarily mutual is false. One may truly love, the other may not love at all.
It is dangerous to say that love always means great sex. Just as intimacy can occur without a romantic relationship, love intimacy can exclude amazing sex or even sex at all.

How did people of the past express their love?

A modern person will be surprised by how our ancestors loved each other before:

The ancient Greeks believed that the vein of love runs through the ring finger - which is why they put a wedding ring on it.
Where did the expression “soulmate” begin? Plato argued that people once had two pairs of arms and legs, but one day they were divided in two. That is why we are looking around the world for our second part in order to find harmony.
In the Middle Ages, marital fidelity existed only officially. Amorous affairs on the side did not surprise anyone.
Only since the 18th century has there been such a thing as a “marriage for love.”

By the way, the folk tales about love that we knew from childhood actually had a frightening plot: the story could easily end in suicide or a forced wedding. It was later that they were adapted so that “everyone lived happily ever after.”

Feeling Dangerous

In 1974, Arthur Aron and Donald Dutton wanted to test how similar sexual arousal was to danger arousal. The experiment was conducted among men:

Some had to cross a bridge that was high above the ground and posed a danger;
The other part of the men walked along an ordinary bridge, without any risk.
At the end of the path, each of the participants was met by a woman who unobtrusively left her number during the conversation.

Those men who crossed the dangerous bridge were more likely to call after all.
Psychologists justify this by the fact that excitement by fear influenced the impression of the woman. Risk and conditions of danger enhance the feeling, which is why it is recommended to have an extreme date from time to time.

Women's guesses are much more accurate than men's undoubted facts. Joseph Rudyard Kipling

Funny superstitions related to love

It is natural that one of the most mysterious feelings is surrounded by the most incredible signs:

Suddenly you smell your favorite dish, even though there is no food nearby? They say that this means serious changes on the personal front.
If a woman, after meeting a man, suddenly discovers a gray hair on her head, this is... a sign of happy love.
Did you accidentally spill sugar? Lucky in love!
Did you happen to see little twin children on the street? A meeting with your soulmate is expected soon.
Got a red thread attached to your clothes? An acquaintance is just around the corner.
Did you see a comb on the road? They advise you to pick up an object - you will soon meet the person of your life.

Whether to believe in superstitions or not, everyone decides for themselves, but what is most curious is how people came up with such associations?

Men with a dog

At the University of Michigan, women viewing profiles of men rated dog owners higher.
On a subconscious level, men who have a pet evoke the association of a caring, constant and balanced partner. Moreover, women get the impression that a dog owner is more ready for a long-term relationship than a man who does not have a four-legged friend.

Love in the Guinness Book of Records

The strongest feeling in the world was also noted in the world record book:

Longest marriage. The record holders are the Fischer couple, who have lived together for 86 years. Unfortunately, Herbert left his chosen one, dying at the age of 105.
Longest kiss: 2.5 days (58 hours 35 minutes). It was a group record with ten Thai couples taking part on February 14, 2015.
The most touching declaration of love. Farmer Winston Howes could not come to terms with the death of his beloved wife: he planted a field of 6,000 young oak trees, leaving a heart-shaped clearing in the middle. The older the trees became, the more clearly the “Valentine” was visible.
The most unusual monument to feeling. This is the “Statue of Love” in Batumi (Georgia) - the monumental figures of a man and woman continuously rotate to merge in a kiss.
The most crowded underwater wedding. To congratulate the newlywed divers, 301 guests dived underwater.

I would like to believe that the people who perform these incredible acts were motivated by love, and not just the desire to be in the Book of Records.

The strangest love stories in the world

“Passion drives you crazy”? There are people who take this expression literally:

A man fell in love with the corpse of his patient. Lonely X-ray specialist Carla van Cosel (Tanzir) was truly obsessed with Elena Hoyos, who suffered from tuberculosis. Despite treatment, the disease killed the girl. Van Cosel persuaded the family of the unfortunate woman to place the body of the deceased in a mausoleum. From there, he secretly transported the corpse to his house, and to prevent the body from decomposing, he filled it with plaster and wax. When they found out about the man's crazy passion, the statute of limitations for the crime expired.
The woman married the man who blinded her. Linda Riess found out that her lover had a family and decided to break up with the man. Wanting revenge, Bert Pugach hired three guys who threw acid in the girl’s face, blinding and disfiguring her. The customer was given 15 years in prison for this. However, all this time he communicated with Linda, and then she completely married Bert. Yeah, love is blind.
The gamer married a 2D character. Player Sal 9000 confirmed the seriousness of his feelings for the wedding drawn by Nene Anegasaki from the game Love Plus.
The millionaire married a dolphin. The first “interspecies” marriage was between the eccentric Sharon Tendler and Cindy the dolphin, who lives near an Israeli resort. It is known that the woman cared for the animal for 10 years, after which she decided on such a strange union. But “family life” was short-lived: the dolphin died the next year after the wedding.
Twin brothers married twin sisters. Mark and Craig Sanders met Darlene and Diana Twinsberg at... the Gemini Festival. But the story would not have made it into our material if these two couples had not had twin children!

Yes, it is difficult to understand and explain all this. But how can one not remember the expression: “Everyone loves in their own way”

Do animals love each other?

One can argue whether our smaller brothers are capable of love, because they have no self-awareness. But this selection will touch you:

Swans remain faithful to each other throughout their lives. If one of the pair dies, the second bird remains alone.
Wolves take care of female wolves while woolly mothers feed their babies. The predator will give the female his last food, even if he himself can barely stand from hunger.
The most selective gentlemen in the fauna world are gibbons. They can choose a companion for several years. And if nothing works out, then they follow the “advice” of their parents.
The only birds that can kiss are pigeons. Bluewings create a strong family and share the responsibilities of caring for the chicks.

Perhaps animals do not have the same depth of experience as humans. But it is difficult to explain all of the above with instincts alone.

Signs that someone is in love with you

There are clear and subtle signs that can help you decide if a person is in love with you. One of the most common signs is that a person is looking at you when you are not looking or paying attention. Another common sign is when they are always thinking about you and everything you do seems cool to them.

If you find that someone you know acts differently when you are around, or seems to have a completely different personality around you, it means he or she is in love with you! Another way to tell who you like is to see if someone always wants to be around you, even when you're just going about your day.

If you see any of the above signs coming from someone you know or work with, just know that they have a crush on you! Try not to send mixed messages if you are not interested.