A difficult life situation is a condition that is currently significant for an individual, causing negative emotions and depressing states. Difficult conditions are always subjective in nature, which is expressed by the individual severity of the experience. This is always a dangerous situation. It requires the individual to adapt to new conditions. Otherwise, this may result in personal, behavioral, mental disorders and disorders.
Moving away from parents
Every person sooner or later faces a situation where they have to move away from their parents. This is not about moving to a neighboring apartment or entrance. The point is that it is during this period that a radical change in all the usual norms occurs. You understand that from now on all responsibility lies with you. Even if your parents continue to help you, it will only be help, and not living your life for you (as parents who practice overprotection often prefer to do). Definitely, a person will no longer be the same as before, since he ceases to be a child in the classical sense and becomes an adult and independent person (especially if he understands how useful separation is).
Phases of living through a difficult situation
Life position - what does it mean?
When overcoming difficult moments in life, a person goes through several stages. They depend on the degree of social adaptation of the individual and life competence (knowledge). They can be divided into the following several phases:
- unconscious knowledge - the experience a citizen has that he uses in non-problematic life situations;
- unconscious ignorance - the use of habitual competence in an already changed situation, which cannot give the expected result, but the person does not yet understand this;
- conscious ignorance - searching for an alternative, accumulating information, trying to make internal restructuring and understand one’s capabilities;
- conscious knowledge is the moment when the direction of action is determined, but its implementation has not yet been brought to automaticity and occurs through a set of trials, errors and analysis of the results.
When using conscious knowledge (competence), a person gains experience that gives him the opportunity to remain in the phase of unconscious knowledge in the future. This allows you to put any difficult life situation on the level of everyday life and solve it.
Model of adaptation to THS
Wedding
We are not talking about the kind of marriage registration when young people strive to separate from their parents together and do what they want. The point is to approach the issue of marriage with full responsibility. This decision sometimes takes months, years and even decades to make (this is often practiced in the modern world). By that time, each partner understands what skills and values (including material ones) he must have in order to create a strong family.
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Making relationships long-term and harmonious is not an easy task. Therefore, such changes, when people turn from children into husband and wife, and then into parents, are very useful for the formation of their personality.
Betrayal of a friend
You sometimes quarreled, but then quickly made up. We shared secrets, there was never any understatement between you, since all problems were resolved quickly. And suddenly you are faced with the fact that your friend has betrayed you. Accepting this is not only difficult, but at first it is almost impossible. This is not just betrayal, it is a small death of your faith, hope, confidence, etc. Time passes and there is nothing left but to realize that this happened in your life. At first, you are inclined to never trust anyone again. However, later you realize that this lesson was very useful for you.
Now you know how to communicate with people correctly, who to allow to approach and who to keep at a distance. You realize that you should come first for yourself and you should never sacrifice your interests for the sake of others if they are important to you. You have received a “vaccination” that will help you avoid many mistakes in the future.
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Birth of a child
At first it seems that nothing special will happen. A living toy will appear in the family, which will not be able to radically change your life and attitude towards the world around you. However, as soon as the child is born, everything changes. If not immediately, then over the next few years you turn off the inner child in yourself and realize that you have become a parent. You gladly accept responsibility for his safety, happily give up some of your habits, become more sensitive, caring, and sometimes even sentimental.
Everything is changing, and this is a great happiness, since you already feel like an adult and self-sufficient person who has already achieved a lot at this stage (your heart is filled with pride not so much for yourself as for the well-established circumstances).
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Difficult life situations can be completely different, but what they have in common is that they seriously disrupt a person’s normal life, but he is not always able to get out of such a situation on his own.
What are these situations like?
There are really a lot of them, here are just some of them:
- serious illness;
- orphanhood;
- disability;
- long-term unemployment;
- lack of a specific place of residence;
- poverty;
- conflicts;
- cruel treatment.
Psychologists believe that such a situation in life is usually characterized by a discrepancy between our desires and our abilities and capabilities. Such an internal conflict seriously impedes the achievement of any set goals, which, in turn, leads to the emergence of strong negative emotions, which signal the appearance of a difficult situation in a person’s life.
A person who is constantly developing through mastering and understanding the world around him, but who does not yet have serious life experience, will definitely encounter something new, unknown and even unexpected on his way.
Using your own capabilities and abilities may simply be insufficient in a particular situation, which means that this may well become the cause of frustration and disappointment.
As a rule, any difficult life situation leads to a significant deterioration in long-established relationships with loved ones and others, is a source of deep feelings and negative emotions, causes significant inconvenience, and this can already have lasting negative consequences for personal development. This is why you need to know as much as possible about the various options, methods and possibilities for overcoming difficult situations in life.
Techniques you can use to overcome difficult situations
Sometimes it happens that a person who finds himself in a difficult life situation seems to have made every effort to overcome it, but has not achieved a positive result - the problem has not been solved, and he himself can only admit defeat.
He feels this failure so deeply that he considers it practically the collapse of his own personality, which is direct evidence that he is a loser. If this is the first serious failure, then he becomes very vulnerable and vulnerable, and in such a situation he tries with all his might to restore or maintain a good attitude towards himself, self-esteem and well-being.
What can really help? Very often, in such cases, people try to devalue the problem, using psychological defense mechanisms, the action of which is aimed at significantly reducing the heavy burden of serious emotional experiences and absolutely do not require a serious revision of their attitude towards themselves. These are the techniques:
1. Devalue the object
If you couldn’t find the right way out of a difficult situation, couldn’t achieve an important goal, then simply try to reduce its importance for you. This will help devalue failure and turn it into an insignificant episode in your own biography.
2. Adjust your hopes and aspirations
Any failure for a person is a very unpleasant and seriously experienced event, which deprives him of what he would like and what he really needs, so you can adjust your hopes and expectations.
Typically, this results in significant minimization of requirements. Of course, this method helps to smooth out experiences and unpleasant sensations, but it also has another, not so rosy, side - it seriously impoverishes the future and does not increase self-esteem as a successful person.
3. Accept the situation exactly as it really is
Sometimes it is much more productive to simply “let go” of a situation than to make a lot of absolutely unsuccessful attempts to correct it.
And this is not at all a silent response and weak-willed resignation due to difficult circumstances, but a truly conscious decision, which is usually made after a thorough analysis of the situation itself and comparison of one’s own difficult situation with the more difficult and complex one of other people. A similar technique is used in cases of serious deterioration in health, serious illness and disability.
4. Look at your problem differently, give it a positive interpretation
This technique consists of using various options for comparison: either with someone who has a more difficult situation, or recall your own merits and successes in some other areas of activity.
Some may feel that these techniques are a prime example of how to adapt to difficulties rather than fight them. But in reality, this is not the case at all.
Very often, such strategies are temporary while a person restores his mental balance in order to begin with renewed vigor to radically change his own life. And in this situation, such techniques are just a wise strategy that takes into account the real features of the life prospects of a particular person.
Of course, everyone can absolutely independently choose the strategies and techniques that suit them, with the help of which they will be able to overcome the difficulties that arise.
But life shows that we actually cannot always change anything at the moment, although we are able to look at the situation as soberly as possible and direct real efforts to what can really be changed or to find ways to live normally with what we I am not able to change it yet.
Psychologist of the Khotimsk Central District Hospital T. N. Silina
Parting with a loved one
Fortunately, not all people face this, but unfortunately, the majority of people do. Parting with your loved one at first seems like a real collapse of all hopes. Apathy or even depression sets in, you give up, you don’t want to do anything or change anything. All energy is aimed exclusively at returning to the past. I would like to return to the point when something went wrong and your paths diverged.
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But time passes, you calm down and begin to understand what invaluable experience you were able to gain. This gives you the opportunity to be more selective in your connections, understand people, and experience difficult moments in your life. You learn to live again, change your style, habits, manners and definitely become a different person who is kinder, wiser and more compassionate.
Dismissal from work
Many people face this situation, and it seems catastrophic to them. Accepting that you are left out, not in demand and unnecessary in the team, becomes a very difficult and, in some cases, long-term process. However, a little time passes, and you realize that this situation has given you a chance for self-improvement, advanced training, and self-realization. You didn’t even think that you would like another job or profession so much that you would remember your former job as a bad dream.
Broken heel
“No matter what the day brings, you feel freshness” - if you are over 30 years old, you probably remember the commercial from the 90s, where a woman breaks her heel, and then, without being upset at all, breaks off the second one and joyfully walks on. The bad news: tearing off the heel with your hands will not be easy even for a man; the shoe will most likely break. In general, now women don’t wear heels so often; sneakers and boots are in fashion. But what to do if this is your case?
What to do
Keep a spare pair at work or in the car. If trouble happens on the street and you are going to a meeting, take a taxi home to change your shoes. In the case when there is no time for this, and the meeting cannot be canceled, make a broken heel your trump card! So you can say: “Look how I hurried to you, even I suffered, but I still came!” The one who was waiting for you will probably sympathize with you and even feel a little obliged to you.
Serious illness
Unfortunately, this situation is also not uncommon. The disease becomes a real test not only for the person himself, but also for his loved ones. Therefore, it is extremely difficult to survive it, because it requires a long time and a huge number of different actions. However, when a person manages to recover, everything in his life changes dramatically. He begins to appreciate every minute and every second of his life. People who have been around all this time become so close that repentance appears for the smallest offense.
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Understanding that all this could have been lost becomes a priority for making the most important decisions in life. The world is opening up in a new way and definitely from the most positive side. Compassion appears, a desire to share your experience and help if possible.
Death of parents
It is normal for children to bury their parents. Therefore, many people will have to face this situation sooner or later. The closer the relationship was, the more difficult it was to move on from grief and suffering. This is not to say that this pain will disappear over time, it may just subside a little. But this will be enough to become a completely different person. Rethink your past, remember your mistakes, work on them and think about how to live on.
The realization that life has not only a beginning, but also an end is a very wise philosophical conclusion. There is an understanding that sooner or later this end will come, so there is also greater compassion for the other parent or for older people. The feeling of being someone's child disappears. This means that now you are the older generation, and there is an opportunity to stop your children from rash actions, based on your own experience.
Help in difficult life situations
Among difficult life situations, social protection authorities pay the closest attention to dysfunctional families where the child suffers from a lack of understanding on the part of the parents. Particular attention is paid to low-income and single-parent families in which a teenager misses school due to low financial status.
In this case, the state, in accordance with the provisions approved by law, can take the following measures:
- monetary assistance in the form of subsidies, various compensations and pensions (for loss of a breadwinner, disability, etc.);
- improvement of living conditions;
- free psychological support;
- rehabilitation medical care in special institutions: sanatoriums, dispensaries and rehabilitation and other health centers;
- assistance in obtaining further education on a budgetary basis.
In particularly difficult situations, where the participants are minor children, the guardianship and trusteeship authorities are involved in solving the problem. In Russia, this is a special state executive body that controls the treatment of children.
Attention! The main goal of assistance in a difficult situation is to help the person in need adapt to the new prevailing living conditions and stabilize the situation.
Adaptation can be either favorable (the individual takes an active position) or unfavorable (the person simply adapts).
A person who finds himself in a difficult life situation can count on outside help. In order to cope with problems and stabilize his life, a citizen must make his contribution in the form of working on himself to acquire an active life position.
