What is friendship: definition, meaning, what friendship is built on


What is friendship

There is a classic definition of friendship, according to which friendship is a selfless relationship between people that is based on common interests, values, hobbies, as well as mutual respect and mutual assistance.
You can find out this without me from dictionaries and encyclopedias. But if we talk about friendship as the cause of possible [and often inevitable] problems that can arise between people, then I would give this concept a slightly different definition. In my opinion, friendship is a person’s certain expectations from those whom he considers his friends. That is, unlike, say, just acquaintances or work colleagues, a friend is perceived by many people as a person who owes them something. Well, of course, they also owe him something. Friendship can be compared to a partnership, only without clearly defined conditions and rules. Friends seem to do everything voluntarily for each other, without counting who did more or less for whom. For mercantile people who love to use others for their own purposes, friendship is very convenient, because they can always calculate its benefits for themselves. And some people don’t even really understand why and why they are friends with someone, but the need for close people who are at least somewhat interested and necessary in you forces them to stick with their friends, even if they are not entirely decent and honest.

Thus, in relation to many situations, I can say that friendship allows people to receive from each other something valuable and necessary completely free of charge, without any clear and precise conditions and mutual obligations. If a stranger needs to pay for certain services or give something in return, then you can get the same thing from friends without any payment or exchange, simply by asking them to help. They can also ask for something later, but they can react to this in different ways, including with a justified refusal, because all obligations between friends are voluntary. So we can say that the essence of friendship is to pursue our selfish interests through such unspecified cooperation with other people whom we call our friends. Often this selfish component of friendship is not even realized by many. People convince themselves and others that they are friends with someone not at all because of their selfish interests, but because they like the person, because they have a lot in common, and so on. In general, as a rule, friendship is given a noble appearance, without any “you to me, I to you.” However, I and others have noticed that there are always more people who want to be friends with rich and powerful people than with the poor, stupid and sick, from whom there is nothing to take.

Why is friendship so important to us?

My friend’s relationship with me is absolutely selfless. I know for sure that I can always rely on you, and you will not ask for anything in return. Friendship is not just a word for us. After so many years, I managed to understand that without your support my life would have been much more difficult. We went through so many troubles together and always tried to find suitable words of consolation.

The main reason why I love you probably doesn’t exist. You just exist, you’re nearby, you make me happier. My beloved friend deserves the best in this life. You are an extraordinary, bright person; the sun that illuminates my path even on a gloomy autumn evening. I want to name 30 reasons why you are my friend, or rather, why we became friends a long time ago.

  1. You immediately attract attention.
  2. She was optimistic.
  3. Helped a mutual friend cope with a girl's breakup.
  4. She was caring and attentive.
  5. I told funny jokes all evening.
  6. It was easy to communicate with you.
  7. I realized that such a person can be trusted.
  8. You have very kind eyes.
  9. You were beautiful and neatly dressed.
  10. You remembered the poems and recited them by heart.
  11. She sang very beautifully with the guitar.
  12. We learned that we have common favorite books.
  13. You helped me get the attention of the guy I liked.
  14. We quickly exchanged phone numbers.
  15. She didn’t forget that I needed to go to the dentist and walked me right to the clinic doors.
  16. She was always open for communication.
  17. Listened to the problems of others with complete sincerity
  18. She gave the right advice.
  19. You didn't waste your time on trifles.
  20. I liked it when you told details from your childhood.
  21. She spoke very carefully about her family.
  22. She never forgot to walk her beloved dog and invited me with her.
  23. She behaved very reservedly in front of adults.
  24. She always smiled and did not like to complain to strangers.
  25. I attended training every week.
  26. She was herself and did not depend on anyone.
  27. She showed me her paintings - they were charming.
  28. She went with me to the dacha and actively helped.
  29. She reminded me about the date of our acquaintance.
  30. And so, we became best friends.

Why is friendship needed?

In fact, it is enough to define what true friendship means. To find the answer to this question, you must not forget about the other concepts on which it is built. This is mutual respect, altruism, willingness to be needed and useful.

Why does this happen: people seem to be doing everything possible to maintain true friendship, but there is a gap? Communication is not going well, do you want to end the conversation as quickly as possible? This arises due to the presence of differences in development and values. A true friend is, first of all, an ally in life, with whom you want to grow and overcome obstacles.

In the world of entrepreneurship and spiritual development, there is a so-called “formula for success.” Let's look at what determines a person's effectiveness.

  • Firstly, this is knowledge, the influence of which on the final result is 10%.
  • Secondly, thinking, it makes up 10% of success.
  • Thirdly - the most important thing - is our environment, which shapes 80% of our success in life.

The environment is our friends; they can pull us either up, helping us develop, or down, forcing us to degrade. Which friends to choose is up to everyone to decide for themselves. Only true comrades will be able to open the world in new colors and help in development, be there at the right moment and feel you like no one else.

Types of friendship in psychology

Friendship can be situational:

  • Business friendship. A common cause and goal can unite, unite and make friends.
  • Friendship in the office. With constant contacts during working hours, the formation of more trusting and close relationships between colleagues is inevitable.

For children, women and men, being friends is good for your health.

Here are some examples of what friendship can be:

  1. Children's room. Touching, naive, with common games, with first friends. Growing up begins with it: the child learns to share, help, and be attentive.
  2. Youthful. A person grows and becomes more selective in relationships, attachments appear, friends acquire a separate status. Friendship helps self-affirmation. There is a division - boys are friends with boys, girls - with girls. It has been proven that friendly relationships that began as students more often remain so throughout life than school friendships.
  3. Women's. It has been said a lot that there are no real female friendships, and that often the end of these friendships is a man. Nevertheless, there are a huge number of examples of devoted, long-term female friendships.
  4. Men's. Since ancient times, men have united in order to get food together or resist enemies. A man needs friendship, which is based on trust and mutual assistance. Remember, as an example, the friendship of the musketeers from Dumas’s novel, based on support, mutual protection, and common resolution of issues. It is believed that the signs of true friendship between men and women differ: for a woman, the emotional component is important in relationships with her friends, for men - a commonality of interests, goals and objectives. It is important for a woman to talk it out with her friends; as a result, a stress-reducing and calming hormone is produced - oxytocin. It is curious that psychologists advise women to be friends evenly, which is why in the film “Sex and the City” four friends always communicate comfortably, the “third wheel” situation is excluded.
  5. Friendship between a man and a woman. Here opinions are divided. Some experts claim that such relationships are possible, others categorically deny the existence of friendship between a woman and a man. According to the latter, in the overwhelming majority of cases, a man sees a woman as a potential love partner. It happens that one of the friends is in love and becomes friends, hoping for reciprocity. Indeed, alliances that grow out of friendship are not uncommon and are considered strong.

Depending on gender, the following types of friendship are distinguished:

Female friendship

The psychology of female friendship is built on constant communication and the desire to discuss current problems, which reduces stress levels. Girlfriends are always ready to sympathize and treat with understanding, without offering to change or become better. If you don’t want to look for a solution, but just talk, then your best friend is a woman. From a psychological point of view, female friendship is tested by success, not by troubles. When a friend is ready to share the joy and sincerely support in new aspirations, she is a real friend, not an envious person. You should appreciate such friends and try to maintain relationships as long as possible.

Trust is the main element of friendship; in female friendship you should be sure that they will understand, will not judge, and will not recommend unwanted actions even with good intentions. The biggest enemy of female friendship is envy and rivalry. If your friend is not prone to such manifestations, then you can be 100% confident in her. And the question: “Does female friendship exist?” - does not arise.

The psychology of girls' friendship is built on mutual understanding, respect, trust, but a person can have secrets that belong only to him, and there is no desire to dedicate to others, this is normal, everyone chooses their own level of intimacy in the relationship. We noticed that the presence of regular male partners allows female friendships to be stronger, as well as between single women, but it is difficult to break out of such an environment. The psychology of friendship among women allows us to note a high need for communication, which gives vent to emotions and helps to understand life situations. Therefore, having a close friend has a positive effect on mental well-being, increases life satisfaction, and even contributes to a healthier and longer life, as medical research shows. Friendship between women, psychology - allows you to understand the main features of relationships and friendships of representatives of the fair sex. As noted, women are quite emotional and sociable, and friendly relationships are an element of psychiatry and help restore mental balance.

Male friendship

It is considered real and ideal; examples are described in history and literature of “The Three Musketeers”. At the same time, friendly relations are built on mutual assistance, support, mutual protection, and participation in resolving issues. Men are united by common interests, work, hobbies. Men show emotions less, therefore they do not open up as much in friendship, spiritual closeness is less strong in comparison with women, however, friendly relationships can be quite strong and stable.

Usually, true friends are rare in life; over the years, their number decreases, and those who remain are valued even more - they have been tested over the years, through their actions, and have often helped out in difficult situations. Friends are essential in a person's life and having a close friend is happiness. It is important to protect and maintain relationships throughout life.

The psychology of male friendship is built on certain principles and interests:
  1. Common affairs - friends love to spend time together, both at work and in leisure.
  2. Convenience - friendly relations are mutually beneficial, provide mutual assistance in business, achieving success in various areas of life.
  3. Mentoring - such a friend is usually older in age, but also has the knowledge necessary for development. The psychology of friendship between men is built on the desire for cooperation; a true friend will always come to the rescue in a difficult situation. Male friendship is tested in adversity; the desire for competition, different views on life, and the inability to combine friendship and family can be obstacles. Over the years, you can continue your friendships as families or occasionally meet up with your best friends on the weekends.

Children's friendship

The initial stage of the emergence of friendship, from the age of 2 children show interest in their peers, and at the age of 3-6 the first friends appear, friendships are built on mutual games, treats, they like children who are cheerful, who do not like to complain, and who are open to communication.

Friendship allows you to spend time together, visit, have fun, support, help, and show protection. The psychology of friendship states that these are relationship lessons that influence the ability to build relationships in adolescence and adulthood. The task of adults is to learn to make acquaintances, find an environment for communication, explain the rules of friendship - share, be attentive, help.

At the age of 7-10 years, school attachments appear, based on mutual interests - studying together in the same class, studying in clubs, constant contact (desk neighbor). Friendship is often perceived as cooperation - whoever learns best can help. At the same time, boys always have common things to do and have common ideas, while girls have conversations and discussions. By the age of 10, an understanding of mutual assistance and mutual obligations is formed, and friends acquire a special status.

From 11 to 14 years old is the period when the need for a close spiritual friend, mutual trust, and the desire to have an authoritative friend arises. Collective opinion, fashion, and current trends have a huge influence. Every teenager wants to be on a level with others, strive for recognition among their classmates.

15-18 years old - a new stage in the formation of personality, friendly relationships acquire a more personal character, helps restore mental strength, resembles psychotherapy - constant telephone conversations, correspondence, meetings. New demands are placed on a friend - understanding, devotion, the ability to help, and to listen. Friendship promotes self-affirmation and self-identification in the modern world and adult environment.

At the same time, it is necessary to realize that the ability to listen to others is necessary on a par with trust in friends. It is important to recognize who is trustworthy and will be able to keep secrets or minimize information, which leads to superficial communication. Friendship among children, psychology makes it possible to realize that this is a stage of preparation for adult life, the formation of self-esteem, promotes the development of confidence, the importance of having friendly relations in childhood and adolescence cannot be underestimated.

Friendship between a man and a woman

Quite an interesting and controversial question. In recent studies, psychologists are inclined to think that opposite-sex friendships are possible when close relationships are impossible for various reasons. Male friends can be more interesting in communication than girls - there is no envy, competition, more understanding and attention. Friendships arise between people who have common interests - work, creativity, hobbies.

The psychology of friendship suggests that friendly communication with the opposite sex can be interesting, but it is important to keep a distance so that friendship does not suddenly turn into love. There are often situations when one of the friends is in love and hopes for reciprocity, continuing to be friends. Often strong friendships arise at the beginning of a relationship, uniting spiritually. If a girl has a boyfriend and a close friend, this is an alarming sign: love relationships do not bring satisfaction, feelings fade, and there is a lack of understanding.

There are different opinions about opposite-sex friendships; life experience does not always confirm the success of friendship, although everything is possible. This issue still requires study and remains a mystery. As you can see, there are different types of friendship, but the principles and rules of friendship are similar. How to become a good friend, what to pay attention to in relationships with friends?

Rules for communicating with friends

Friends can provide moral support and help in dire situations completely free of charge. You cannot force someone to become your friend, this feeling always comes on its own. True friendship is also built on mutual respect.

As a rule, a strong friendship develops in several stages:

  1. Walking together as a child. Communication comes down to discussing toys and cartoons, and in case of a quarrel, children very soon make up.
  2. In adolescence, friendship only becomes stronger; friends can chat with each other for hours and solve any problems together. They are the first to witness joy or sorrow. It is at this time that communication stops - admission to university, differences in life principles. It depends on sincerity and affection whether it will be possible to maintain the relationship in the future.
  3. In adulthood, friends are the most faithful people you can rely on. Relationships can develop into a business relationship or end altogether for a number of reasons, including money.
  4. In old age, friendship is most rare. Usually such people were able to survive a huge amount of adversity together. If this relationship lasted throughout consciousness, then the level of affection of these friends deserves the highest respect.

The rules of communication with friends play an important role, and knowing them will help you maintain relationships or start new ones. The main thing is to be able to distinguish between the levels of relationships, since true friends are their highest form, and it will take a lot of effort to reach it.

Different types of friendship

At the same time, classic American literature is replete with stories about friendship. Readers can feel what friendship means. Reading, for example, Hemingway's memoirs about Paris or works about the loss of friendship, the most terrible thoughts enter your head.

Many thinkers have tried to find the difference in friendship between different countries. Everyone has different concepts of friendship and ideas about it are also different. And this is what scientists were able to trace. In European countries, friendship is built on warm relationships. People are always friendly and smiling. They can communicate on any topic, discuss interesting events, and make plans. But if one of your friends has a problem. He will never tell his interlocutor about this.

It’s so customary that your misfortune is only your misfortune. And only you and no one else can find a way out of this unpleasant situation. They are friends, but each person is responsible for his own life, and there is no way to share this responsibility. Your problems are yours alone. You have to find the solution yourself.

These different types of friendship are also expressed in different definitions. In Ozhegov’s Russian language dictionary, the term “friendship” is explained as “close relationships based on mutual trust, affection and unity of interests.”

However, the Oxford English Dictionary suggests two different levels of friendship, of which the most common may be closer to simple acquaintance:

“A person with whom one has developed a close and informal relationship of mutual trust and intimacy; (more generally) a close acquaintance.

Friendship between a man and a woman

Is there friendship between a man and a woman? Life proves that such relationships are possible: if they arose in childhood, when friends grew up and played together, matured, sharing their secrets and dreams. Such an attachment will be close to family, to the relationship between brother and sister. Also, opposite-sex friendships are possible if there was love that has already ended.

In addition, a man and a woman can be friends based on a common profession, creativity, or hobby. What interferes with a man's friendship with a woman? First of all, gender. A man is designed in such a way that he perceives a woman as a sexual object. If sexual contact occurs between friends of different sexes, a woman may react negatively to this, believing that she has been used. A man can regard this as strengthening friendship.

According to psychologists, selfless affection and trust in people of different sexes can develop as a result of a high level of spiritual development. The establishment of mutual understanding will be facilitated by the same idea of ​​friendship between a man and a woman, of what it means to a person. Then there will be no place for feelings of possessiveness, jealousy, and selfishness. Unfortunately, such high spiritual manifestations in opposite-sex friendships are a rare occurrence. Therefore, according to scientists, this type of relationship cannot be strong and lasting.

Such different friendships: varieties

Friendship is a complex concept. There are many varieties of it:

  • Children's room. Already two-year-old children show interest in their peers. As they get older, the guys begin to become friends. At this stage, playmates become friends with whom you can have fun, invent something together, and do exciting things. As children grow older, their friendships either fade away or grow with them. Common interests, warmth, and joint hobbies appear. Connections from an early age are often the strongest and most reliable, because people grew up before each other’s eyes and are united by many memories.
  • Women's. Communication between women is based on trust, sincerity, the desire to share problems and receive support. It is built on similar views on life. This connection manifests itself in frequent conversations and constant correspondence. All this helps fight stress.
  • Men's. Friendship between men is distinguished by reliability, devotion, and strength. It is based on shared interests. Such relationships are characterized more by help in solving the problems of a loved one than by verbal support and intimate conversations.
  • Friendship between a man and a woman. Contrary to popular belief, it still happens. The basis for its emergence can be growing up together, common hobbies and interests, professional moments, etc. Sometimes such friendship develops to the stage of love.

What is the difference between a friend and a comrade?

Man is a social individual. Since ancient times, people have lived in community, sharing the hardships of life. Being expelled from a community or tribe, being left alone with an unkind world did not mean anything good for a person.

The need for communication and relationships with people is genetically inherent in a person. Potentially, we always try to find and highlight people with similar interests, worldviews, and values. Friendship is the fulfillment of the need to communicate with like-minded people. A friend is a person who can share your need for communication.

It is not always clear which person can be called a friend and which one can be called a comrade. Is your colleague with whom you work together on a common cause a friend or comrade? On the one hand, it has been proven that a friendly atmosphere in a team increases productivity. On the other hand, if colleagues became friends and began to be friendly at work, then when competition or financial issues become more intense, most of the friendly comrades will sacrifice their relationship for the sake of profit.

Who is called a friend

We found out that friendship is built on three pillars: reciprocity, community and similarity . Who is a friend is not difficult to answer. This is one of the participants in friendly relations.

Sometimes people replace the concepts friend and buddy , because there are similar criteria between them. In order not to confuse these two words, it is necessary to separate them:

  1. a friend is with you often and for a long time, a friend is a person who comes and goes occasionally;
  2. a friend values ​​your relationship and is willing to do a lot for it; a friend is unlikely to sacrifice his interests in your favor;
  3. a friend does not pursue selfish interests in communicating with you; relationships with a friend, as a rule, are built on mutual benefit - according to the principle “you - to me, I - to you”;

Friends are close people between whom there is a spiritual connection and common values, a voluntary desire to help another and the opportunity to receive support.

A friend actually becomes your non-blood relative , who is constantly present in your life. Over time, not only interests become common, but also experiences and memories that make friendships even more valuable and stronger.

Examples of friendship

In history, examples of true friendship are the relationship between Pushkin and Pushchin. The friendship that began between the lyceum students lasted a lifetime, despite various vicissitudes of fate.

  • The friendly relations of Anna German and Anna Kachalina (music editor of the Melodiya studio) helped the Polish singer gain popularity in the Soviet Union.
  • There are many examples of strong friendship among Hollywood stars, here are some of them.
  • The friendship between Jared Leto and Matthew McConaughey began while working together on the film “Dallas Buyers Club,” which brought their friends well-deserved Oscar statuettes.

Another stellar example of true friendship is Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire. Their friendship has lasted for 25 years. The actors can be seen together at basketball or football games.

Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson are an example of how friendship makes work possible. Their joint film works are always successful, and their friendship lasts for many years.

In Russian cinema, an example of true friendship is the relationship between Konstantin Khabensky and Mikhail Porechenkov, which began in their student years.

But friendship exists not only among people, but also among our smaller brothers. An example is the amazing story of two dogs - the basset hound Fubi and the retriever Tili. When Fubi fell into the well, his friend stayed by his side, and it was thanks to this that the volunteers were able to find the animals.

You can't have too many friends

There are many wonderful works about friendship and friends. And everywhere there is a reminder that you can’t have too many friends.

People are united by more than simple interests. They are united by common secrets, personal secrets. A fair conclusion: if three people know about a secret, then everyone knows.

Now the rhythm of life has changed, technical possibilities for friendship at a distance through social networks have appeared. Such friendship is rarely mutually enriching spiritually; the person continues to remain lonely, creating an illusion.

What does the Russian proverb say?

There is an old saying in Russia: “Don’t have 100 rubles, but have 100 friends.” And just recently, during Soviet times, the entire population agreed with this statement. What could change the views of today's youth? This apparent difference of opinion about the importance of friendship does not actually mean that people of the present time period are more financially prudent. And their predecessors had exceptionally pure hearts and thoughts. But different mentalities can create clear barriers between cultures and people of different times.

So, is the importance of friendship really a point of difference or something that all cultures agree on?

We see our reflection in friends

“Tell me who your friend is, and I will tell you who you are,” this saying was not born out of nowhere. Before people become friends, they communicate a lot and have the same hobby.

Friends complement each other, are privy to common secrets, become one and adopt certain character traits. If a person lacks something in character or behavior, then he looks for it in a friend. But absolute opposites will not get along with each other, although they will complement the missing character traits. Sincere friendship stands the test of time and changes people.

How is friendship different from love?

Sometimes friendship is compared to love, but these are two completely different types of affection. Love is an unconditional feeling that can be felt towards children, parents or other relatives. It can be romantic or platonic. At the same time, it changes perception, preventing us from considering the shortcomings of a loved one. An interesting feature of love is that loving people are not always honest with their loved ones.

With friendship, things are completely different - it is not “blind”. Even the strongest friendship will not force us to look at each other through rose-colored glasses. We see his shortcomings and mistakes, and point them out to him if we deem it necessary. Directness and honesty are the main criteria of true friendship. If we are afraid to offend a loved one with an unpleasant truth, then we cannot lie to a friend. In addition, we do not strive to idealize our friends. The main thing is that you can rely on this person.

Quarrels between friends happen less often than between loving people, and most contradictions can be resolved fairly quickly. Typically, people who have long-standing friendly relations know well what topics they may have disagreements on, and avoid them in conversation, preferring to discuss more interesting things and events. A true friend is afraid of distances and long separations. Friends living in different cities can see each other once a year and have a great time together.

Difference between friendship and love

Both feelings are very similar to each other, but there are a number of differences. Of course, good friends are able to come to the rescue in difficult times, support, and share your views and opinions. But simply friends will never strive to achieve common goals and plans. A joint future can only be planned by people who see themselves in family ties in the future. You can determine your friend's true attitude by the attention he gives you. Even your closest friends will not devote as much time as the person who is in love with you can devote.

When two people fall in love, they lose such concepts as “I”, “mine”, “me” and other statements. They begin to use “we”, “us”, etc. quite often.

What about family friendships?

This is one of the few real options for building friendly relationships between a man and a woman. The fact is that this situation practically eliminates jealousy, because wives and husbands only get together. But achieving this is not very easy.

First, you need to convince your crush that that same school friend or that distant friend is of no interest other than friendly, and in general it’s worth getting to know them before drawing conclusions. If a person’s personal qualities and common hobbies help, it will become possible to be friends with families. But there will not be absolute spiritual closeness between two friends, and you should be prepared for this.

Why do you have problems with friends?

You've probably come across people who are disappointed in friendship and try not to get attached to anyone. This is puzzling, because friends bring bright colors into our lives.

There are a few common reasons why some people experience friendship problems:

  1. Excessive demands. Psychologists note that most often problems with friends arise from those who make excessive demands on friendship. In their opinion, the friend’s list of obligations goes beyond what is permitted. Their partners “must” do everything without unnecessary comments, without their own interests and affairs. The reason for such views is a distorted understanding of the concept of “friendship” as such. Often a person does not put forward his demands, but simply becomes disappointed in his friends when they do not meet them. Extra responsibility weighs heavily on any person. That is why comrades prefer not to enter into the status of a friend.
  2. Inability to resolve conflict. Misunderstandings arise between people regularly. If you do not accumulate dissatisfaction within yourself and are able to correctly express your complaints, you can avoid a major quarrel. The accumulation of negative energy often leads to an emotional outburst, which can be a fatal blow to friendships.
  3. Reluctance to change the point of perception. Sometimes it’s worth looking at the situation from your partner’s perspective. Things don't always happen as we think. The worst way out is to stand your ground without trying to hear your friend. People who do not compromise on principle tend to be left without friends. Selfishness ruins any relationship.

What spoils friendship?

Unfortunately, in our time of far-fetched standards, true friendship is increasingly becoming a real luxury. Maintaining friendship is an art, but ruining a relationship is quite easy. Qualities such as envy, guile, excessive curiosity, and using a friend for selfish purposes can not only ruin friendly relations, but also sow enmity between friends.

Envy

There is nothing worse for friendship than envy. This vice often becomes fatal for both parties. Envy can push the envious person to any meanness, betrayal, or deception.

Craftiness

If a friend is capable of deceit for the sake of his own selfish goals, such friendship is worthless. She simply has no future, because sooner or later the secret becomes clear, and then comes disappointment and pain from the loss of a loved one.

Excessive curiosity

Even the closest friend has the right to little secrets, to his own line, which no one has the right to cross. When the excessive curiosity of a loved one becomes too intrusive, it can cause irritation. If there is too much curiosity, irritation can develop into hostility. And this is the first step towards cooling the relationship.

Using a friend for personal gain

And this is the most difficult test for friendship. What could be worse than disappointment in a friend who uses the trust of a loved one for his own selfish purposes?

The importance of friendship in post-Soviet countries

People in the CIS (Commonwealth of Independent States), a collective of post-Soviet countries, are known to be extremely hospitable and generally very friendly people. Who have an open heart.

In addition, the term “friendship” is given great importance when raising children.

One must be loyal not only to his friend, but to everyone.

Classic Belarusian, Kazakh, Kyrgyz, Russian, Ukrainian and Tajik literature shows how important friendly relations are in these countries. Famous literary characters, such as Bazarov and Kirsanov, Turgenev - "Fathers and Sons", Tolstoy - "War and Peace", help shape the basic values ​​and beliefs of people. Other characters who ruin friendships, lie, or give up set a bad example. So no one would want to be like these characters in real life.

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Of course, this does not mean that friendship in post-Soviet countries is ideal for everyone. They are simply normal people and therefore subject to the universal pros and cons of being human, with attractive and repulsive elements. Everyone has different ideas about friendship. So relationships can never be perfect for everyone.

Some tips on how to strengthen true friendship

  • A true friend does not owe you anything, so accept everything he does for you with gratitude.
  • A true friend is found in trouble, so always be faithful in friendship, help each other always and everywhere
  • If you suddenly quarrel, look for a way to reconcile, “there should be no ax of war”

There is a poem by E. Asadov that “if your friend in a verbal dispute could cause offense to you, it is bitter, but it is not grief, you still forgive him later! “Anything can happen in life, and if your friendship is strong, don’t let it be broken in vain over a stupid trifle.”

  • Spend time together often, it is advisable that you have some kind of common interest or hobby. This brings true friends together
  • Visit each other more often so that your families and children can become friends

True friendship is tested over the years, it is like that flower, you water it, take care of it, and it grows and blooms well. And if not, then he will wither away.

There are few such people in a person's life. Moreover, there can be true friendship between both a man and a woman. And such friendship should be valued too. Being able to forgive true friends and listen to them is also a great skill, and you need to learn this all your life! Appreciate your true friends! Over the years, they become more and more difficult to acquire!

Antoine De Saint-Exupery in “The Little Prince” has these words about true friendship:

“We will need each other. You will be the only one for me in the whole world. And I will be alone for you in the whole world...”

This is what a true friend is!

Perfect Friendship

And finally, let's talk about what an ideal real friendship should be like, found in life, and not in smart books and articles. You and I can tell a lot about ideal friendship, based on our desires, ideas about it, and the opinions of other people we once liked. But in real life, this kind of imaginary real friendship is rare. Therefore, it makes sense to talk more about an ideal that someone has already managed to come to and therefore is able to achieve. So, ideal friendship, in my opinion and according to my observations, is a friendship in which people - friends - place on each other adequate [corresponding to their capabilities] hopes, expectations, demands and responsibilities. We have the right to take from people what they can and want to give us and give in return what we can and want to give, thus emphasizing the value for us of friendship with this person.

It is clear that in any relationship between people there will be a place for self-interest, there is no escape from this, and there is no need to escape. But, as in the relationship between a man and a woman, friends should not see each other as fulfillers of their desires and their servants. Friendship is not a service to demand much from it. Being too demanding of a person will inevitably lead to conflicts with him. Sometimes they are latent in nature, and sometimes open. Because of these conflicts, mistrust arises between people and their misunderstanding of each other. Because conflict evokes emotions, naturally negative ones, and emotions then further spin and complicate the conflict, introducing new grievances into it. They confuse people's mutual demands on each other, deprive them of the ability to think flexibly and constructively, narrow their view of the situation, and limit their choice of ways to solve it. And for a friendship that is as ideal and real as possible, you just need to learn to be content with what she gives you and give her what you need to give in order to keep it.

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