Eighteen years old is the age that defines adults. But sometimes it happens that a person reached adulthood a long time ago, but never became an adult.
Feeling like a child, despite the fact that a person is well over thirty, and if we are talking about an elderly person, then “forever young” is not always good. It is good when a person is young in spirit, but fully aware of himself as an adult. The ability to sincerely rejoice, the presence of optimism, the desire to move forward and simple infantilism are different concepts. And if in the first case people do not lose heart, have increased efficiency and a genuine interest in the world around them, while their mental, physical and social status is equal to their age, then in the second they are simply immature, and commit all rash actions for this reason.
So what traits characterize an adult, mature person? Here are 7 main ones.
Independence from other people's opinions
An adult, self-sufficient person is not afraid of what others will think of him. He does not seek outside assessment; the opinion of his inner “I” is enough for him. But at the same time, he will never act to the detriment of others. Demonstrative behavior in order to please others or cause a surge of emotions (simply, envy) is childish.
Aspects of growing up in girls
How can a girl grow up who feels comfortable in her parents’ home, has all her problems solved for her and is protected from the realities of life?
First of all, a young woman should understand whether she is ready to live her whole life under the wing of her parents or whether she feels a reasonable need to start her own family, to realize herself as a wife and mother.
As a rule, a girl’s psychological growth is helped by a loving and understanding partner, who will explain that her fears associated with entering into married life are groundless and will dispel her doubts about her ability to run a household and raise children.
Marriage exists, among other things, to support each other and help cope with everyday troubles.
Complete independence
This is absolute mental, physical and financial independence. There can be no talk of independence if a person is unable to make a choice without instructions, advice or direction from the outside (most often parents act as regulators). Special attention is required by the fact that an independent adult does not need financial support from third parties. By the way, the habit of constantly getting into financial debt is a sign of infantilism.
Stop demanding and learn to give
One of the main conditions for psychological maturity is the ability not only to consume (goods, love, accept gifts, and so on), but also to give something to other people. Moreover, we are talking specifically about “giving” unconditionally. We simply share our attention, care and affection because we choose to do so.
Egocentrism is inherent in immature children. According to their passports, they may be 30 or 40 years old, but the fixation on their person, characteristic of young children, remains throughout their lives.
Harmonious relationships with the opposite sex are important for the development of personality and a happy life. One of the main conditions for a fulfilling relationship between a man and a woman is the ability to give a partner love, understanding, care and admiration.
Love is not a balance sheet. How to grow up psychologically? Stop keeping score of your own manifestations of attention and start giving more than you receive in return.
Integral worldview
This suggests that a person is able not only to draw conclusions and conclusions based on his own perception of the surrounding reality, but to feel himself a part of it, to put himself in the place of others in a given situation. A simple example: blind criticism, when a person, without getting to the point, without examining what is happening from all angles, makes hasty conclusions, and sometimes even condemns, has nothing in common with the integral worldview.
Photo: Pixabay
Author: Sergey Tumanov
Psychological characteristics of an adult
07/25/2016 Agafonova Olga
In developmental psychology, adulthood has usually been viewed as a stable period. E. Claparède characterized maturity as a state of mental “fossilization.” However, research has shown that the process of human development does not end with the onset of adulthood. N.N. Rybnikov proposed the term “acmeology” to designate the period of maturity as the most productive, creative period of a person’s life. The acmeological period covers the age from 18 to 55−60 years and differs from the youthful period primarily in that general somatic development and puberty are completed, physical development reaches its optimum, and it is characterized by the highest level of intellectual, creative, and professional achievements.
During the period of early adulthood, one’s own way of life is built, professional roles are mastered, and inclusion in all types of social activities occurs. During middle adulthood, social and professional roles begin to consolidate. Late adulthood is characterized by the further establishment of social and special roles by occupation and at the same time their restructuring, the dominance of some of them and the weakening of others. The period of adulthood is otherwise called the period of maturity. A mature person occupies a central place in the social and age structure of society. At this age, as a rule, most people reach the top of their professional and social careers. The values of mature people begin to play a leading role in the life of society and they can assert their tastes, lifestyle, and style of activity.
A psychologically mature person is characterized by six traits:
- A mature person has broad boundaries of the “I”, actively participates in work, family and social relationships, has hobbies, and is interested in political and religious issues.
- A mature person is capable of warm, cordial social relationships, respect and empathy.
- A mature person demonstrates self-acceptance, knows how to cope with their own negative emotional states, expresses their opinions and feelings, and considers how this will affect others.
- A mature person demonstrates a healthy sense of reality, experience and aspirations. Mature people perceive other people, objects and situations as they really are.
- A mature person demonstrates the ability for self-criticism, self-knowledge and a sense of humor.
- A mature person is able to see a holistic picture of the world thanks to a clear, systematic and consistent identification of what is significant in his own life.
- A mature personality is distinguished by high responsibility, concern for other people, and social activity with a humanistic orientation.
The personal aspect of maturity is considered in the context of moral normative behavior. Personal moral standards correspond to humanistic values and are the main regulators of behavior and relationships; they set a person up for progressive development, achieving high not only personal, but also socially positive results. A mature personality is characterized by fulfilling different social roles and using the role as a tool for restructuring one’s behavior in various situations. This means the ability to flexibly rebuild your personality and change in different situations.
A.A. Rean considers maturity from different points of view: the maturity of the individual, the individual, the subject of activity and the individual. Intellectual, emotional and personal maturity can also be distinguished. The author identifies such basic components of social maturity as responsibility, tolerance and self-development, as well as an integrative component that covers all the previous ones. This component is positive thinking, a positive attitude towards the world, which determines a positive outlook on the world.
Mature people are characterized by the choice of conditionally flexible coping strategies. They have the most pronounced preference for the “Seeking Social Support” strategy, which is most optimal for this age; This coping strategy is distinguished by a wide “field of application”, as well as less “labor intensity”.
Issues of personality development in adulthood are becoming most relevant due to the steady increase in the number of adults aged about 35-45 years with psychological problems of a neurotic professional and personal nature. There is a tendency towards increasing social apathy and infantilization of the adult population. Many psychologists note the presence of a midlife crisis. The normative crisis of 30–33 years is caused by a mismatch between a person’s life plans and real possibilities. A person sifts out the insignificant and revises the value system. Reluctance to make changes in the value system leads to an increase in contradictions within the individual. The stable period of 33–40 years is characterized by the fact that at this age a person most successfully does exactly what he wants. He sets goals and achieves them. The age of 40-45 years is a mid-life crisis - this age is a crisis for many, as there is an increase in contradictions between the integrity of the worldview and the unilinearity of development. Often a person loses the meaning of life. To overcome the crisis, it is necessary to find a new meaning - in universal human values, in developing interest in the future, in new generations. If a person continues to focus only on himself and his needs, then this leads to new crises. The psychological content of a midlife crisis is: depreciation of dreams, revaluation of values, exhaustion of some life meanings and the search for others, the formation of a productive attitude towards life, which determines the subsequent self-realization of the individual.
E. Erikson attached great importance to the “midlife” crisis. He called the age of 30–40 years the “decade of fatality”, the main problems of which are the decrease in physical strength, vital energy and a decrease in sexual attractiveness. Successful resolution of the crisis, according to Erikson, leads to the formation of a person’s generativity (productivity, restlessness), which includes a person’s desire for growth, concern for the next generation and his own contribution to the development of life on Earth. Otherwise, stagnation is formed, which can be accompanied by a feeling of devastation and regression.
B. Livehud called the age of 35–45 years a kind of point of diverging paths. One of the ways is the gradual mental involution of a person in accordance with his physical involution, the other is the continuation of mental evolution despite the physical involution. Following the first or second path is determined by the degree of development of the spiritual principle in it. The result of the crisis should be a person turning to his spiritual development, and then on the other side of the crisis he will continue to develop intensively, drawing strength from a spiritual source. Otherwise, he becomes “by the mid-fifties a tragic person, feeling sadness for the good old days, feeling a threat to himself in everything new.”
With a positive self-attitude, a person’s acceptance of his own personality as a whole, the experience of a sense of self-confidence, and a sense of the value of his “I” are observed. A negative self-attitude is accompanied by a person’s desire to blame himself for his mistakes and failures, pronounced internal conflict, inadequate self-esteem, and intensive use of defense mechanisms.
The midlife crisis is often accompanied by some form of depressive experience. This may be a decrease in interest in all events or pleasure from them, apathy; a person may feel a systematic lack or decrease in energy, so that he has to force himself to go to work or do household chores. Often there are feelings about one’s own worthlessness and helplessness. A special place in depressive experiences is occupied by anxiety about one’s future, which is often masked by anxiety for children or even for the country as a whole. Often, depressive experiences center around a loss of meaning and interest in life.
Often people after 35 years suddenly decide to change their profession and go to study. Also, the age of “about 40” accounts for a large number of depressions, suicides, and cases of alcoholism. During this period of life, most people turn to spiritual practice, to psychologists, to religion, think about the years they have already lived, and realize their mistakes. The formation of computer addiction can also be a consequence of a person going through another life crisis.
Thus, the age of adulthood or maturity falls between 18 and 55 years and is divided into early, middle and late adulthood. The main psychological characteristic of this period is the psychological maturity of the individual, expressed by high responsibility, social activity, concern for other people, developed moral standards, and adaptive behavior. The period of maturity includes two normative crises associated with the fulfillment of assigned tasks and the achievement of intermediate life goals. If a person has a positive self-attitude, the way out of the crisis turns out to be successful, associated with the formulation of new life plans. With a negative self-attitude, apathy associated with future anxiety, loss of meaning in life, depression, a way out of the crisis can be found by the individual in the formation of various addictions, among which there may be a sign of modernity - computer addiction.
What about teenagers?
Teenagers who are not growing up give parents the most trouble: sometimes such children drive mom and dad to despair.
In this case, children need help. For example, your son or daughter does not want to study, does not go to bed on time, and cannot wake up in the morning because he again sat at the computer all night. Try to let the situation take its course, especially if you are sure that the child is still getting good grades only thanks to your tireless vigilance.
Give your teenager the opportunity to get a bad grade - he will see what his recklessness leads to. Demand that the situation be corrected: this way he will learn to correct mistakes and will conclude that it is easier not to make them.
Do not clean the room of an older child, teach him to cook and ask for help in any matter. Praise and say - what a wonderful adult son or daughter you have raised!
Causes of mental deviation
Among the factors that influence the occurrence of mental pathology are the following:
- genetic predisposition to the disease. In approximately half of cases, mental retardation is inherited;
- chromosomal disorders, gene abnormalities, their mutation due to radiation, infectious diseases, maternal use of toxic substances during gestation;
- severe labor, which led to injury to the child (especially in the case of head injury), asphyxia, cerebral hypoxia;
- premature birth;
- infectious diseases affecting the central nervous system;
- lack of education, negative atmosphere in the family, psychological trauma at an early age, late diagnosis of the disease, etc.
It should be noted that to date scientists have not been able to find a single cause of mental retardation. As a rule, the occurrence of the disease is associated with several unfavorable factors that occur simultaneously or alternately.
Growing up in men
How can a guy grow up psychologically if throughout his childhood and adolescence he did not see examples of masculine behavior in his family?
It is difficult to become emotionally mature when a boy is raised in a family consisting of women (grandmother and mother, for example). He does not see models of male behavior either in the family or at school (as you know, there are very few male teachers in schools).
Playing on a sports team and practicing martial arts under the guidance of a male coach greatly help in developing masculine qualities in a boy. By playing in a team, he learns to make decisions with an eye on others, learns to obey the orders of the coach, endure failures and overcome difficulties. Therefore, it is very important to introduce a boy to sports.
There is no universal way for a man to mature psychologically. You can be married and have three children, but leave the decision on all important issues for the family to your wife (parents).
How can a guy grow up? Firstly, parents need to delegate to the teenager the decision of issues that are important to him, such as choosing a higher educational institution, choosing a specialty that matches his natural inclinations and skills. By putting effort into the process of enrolling in a university, choosing and arranging premises in a student dormitory, the guy will appreciate what he has more.
