Photo: Khanbua.Sil, shutterstock (09/07/2019) Psychologists believe that the first impression of a person is formed during the first 8-10 seconds of communication. If the interlocutor made a favorable impression, you can get to know him better by finding out his attitude to certain things and observing his behavior a little. What should you pay special attention to in order to recognize a good person? The answer is in the article!
Make mistakes
Even the best person can make mistakes. Open, conscious people with a developed personality admit that they were wrong and can ask for forgiveness. Persons who are at a lower stage of development will prove to the last that they are not to blame for anything.
A good person, having made a mistake, for example, offending someone, will look for the reason in himself. This will allow you to gain experience that will become the impetus for positive changes. Therefore, with such a person you will not often quarrel over trifles. After all, your friend would prefer to discuss everything and honestly admit that he was wrong.
Correct breathing
Very often we forget about such an important thing as breathing. But it is with its help that you can radically change your attitude towards a particular situation. For example, in a state of anger, you need to take three deep enough breaths for this feeling to subside. Yes, just three deep breaths can save the situation and put it on the right track. After this kind of exercise, you will notice how gradually the anger begins to decrease, and you no longer want to be angry at all. You need to remember one very simple, but very useful rule: all decisions must be made not in a state of anger, every word and action must be comprehended and considered. You simply must understand that in an excited state it is unlikely that you will be able to make the right decision and soberly assess the situation. Very often, when you want to express your negative emotions that are rapidly rolling over you like a snowball, you can take a deep breath and try to calm down, take a breath, so to speak.
What is kindness in a person?
Kindness is a behavioral quality of a person, which is reflected in a positive outlook on the world around him, in internal and external harmony, in the desire and readiness to show participation and provide help.
Kindness is a quality that manifests itself in a person’s contact with the world around him - with nature, animals, plants, and other people.
Kindness from an emotional point of view is a positive sign; it is like a scanner of a person’s involvement in the world around him.
Here is a simple example from life of how good attracts good.
One day, returning from work in the evening, a man stops on the side of the road to help someone else change a tire on his car. It turns out that the other one is a fireman who had a small problem with his car on the way home from work. A few hours ago, while on duty, a fireman, risking his life, saved an entire family from a burning house... It was no coincidence that two kind people met on the road, two people were used to doing good, and it comes back to them. The power and energy of kindness are limitless.
We use the term “kindness” to describe the responsiveness and consideration of other people. We talk about kindness when we encourage people to become more humane, tolerant and fair. The word “good” is part of the name of charitable organizations and associations.
What does kindness mean to a person himself? From a moral point of view, kindness is a moral characteristic of a person. It is believed that goodness comes from the heart. Joy and warmth throughout the body are markers by which kindness manifests itself.
Abraham Lincoln said: “When I do good deeds, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. This is my religion."
Let's see what religions say about goodness and good deeds.
What is kindness in the Bible?
Believers must do good. Kindness in religion is the defining force in life and one of the main signs of humanity. And man, created in the image and likeness of God, by doing good deeds, manifests divine power and acts according to the will of God. Evil does not come from God, it is a consequence of a person’s choice, the result of his momentary desires. According to Christian laws, goodness should bring joy and happiness. Good is done in love. Goodness should not harm other people.
What is kindness in Islam?
Kindness in Islam is a quality given to people at birth. It comes from Allah. Evil, on the contrary, appears as a result of the activity of man himself. People should live in goodness, do good deeds, and not expect encouragement, approval, or demand anything in return. In relationships with people, the Islamic religion teaches to be kind - to be attentive, not to be rude, not to insult, to “give kind words.”
He makes demands again
Another unconditional talent of a manipulator is the ability to besiege another person with demands. Before you is an individualistic personality in its strongest manifestation, who will constantly voice his requests and demands. This is not always done explicitly or persistently; the manipulator likes to change tactics. If today he is tough, tomorrow he will try to convince you of something with the help of hints or in a veiled form. And all this is aimed at achieving the cherished goal. Why does this person keep making demands? Because this way he feels like the master of the situation and strokes his ego. However, he does not take into account one detail: his intentions are too clearly visible to others. Don't be fooled, be adamant in refusing to play by the manipulator's rules.
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He uses persuasion
The third feature on this list flows smoothly from the previous one. These signs are related to each other by a dialogic maneuver - the favorite technique of a “good person”. If in the previous case the manipulator besieged the potential victim with requests, then here he reaches a new level, successfully using persuasion tactics. Be careful, because even if the hypocrite has not yet mastered this technique, he thinks that you are in his pocket. Persuasion in tandem with pressure can be a powerful and dangerous weapon, especially when an inexperienced victim gets in the way. If you are one of those who are pathologically afraid of saying “no” to other people, then the manipulator has also found his client in you. Even if you don't plan to surrender to the mercy of the winner, you will do it because you don't have enough courage. How to cope if you are besieged by an insidious and calculating schemer? Use common sense and a win-win countermeasure - the ability to say “no” in a tough manner.
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Conversations with him are like a one-way street.
This is not surprising, but people who pretend to be good are used to dominating the discussion. They don't let you get a word in, continuing to stick to their line. This is also the case with ordinary people who lack active listening skills. However, manipulators do this consciously, and one nuance will help you figure them out: when your interlocutor realizes that you are a tough nut to crack, he suddenly changes tactics. You were able to resist him and did not silently nod your head. The manipulator realized that the previous method did not work and moved on to a new sabotage. Now he began to feel an inexplicable interest in your life. Make no mistake, as this mysterious behavior will not last long. Very soon, a selfish and insidious interlocutor will redirect your attention to himself.
Forces himself to please
Probably something similar has happened to each of us at least once. A friend tells you that he cannot find an application or document that he needs right now.
And now you are already trying to solve his problem, bending over backwards just to improve the situation. Time passes, and again he runs to you asking for help. The third time, he already takes your participation for granted, and at one point you realize that this person, having once taken advantage of your kindness, simply “sat on your head.”
Such individuals are not able to adequately respond to good services rendered to them. Such noble gestures awaken in them a base desire to use a good person as an object for manipulation.
Be vigilant and do not fall victim to such games.
Own style of conversation, special manner of speech
A good conversationalist should stand out from the background of ordinary interlocutors. Often it is accompanied by some peculiarity, a zest in the conversation.
Special intonations, good command of the voice, the ability to tell a lively story, and not just broadcast words and sentences.
I think you have friends who speak in a special way, stand out and are remembered by this, so you will agree that your own style is a definite plus. Therefore, it will be useful to practice stage speech.
Surround yourself with good communicators and be one yourself.
I wish you success!
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Key words:1Communication
Definition
Originality is the pronounced colorfulness of the personality, which makes it extraordinary. This is immediately noticeable. They say about a person who is characterized by such colorfulness: “He is not like everyone else!”
And indeed it is. Moreover, colorful people rarely characterize themselves this way in public. Deep down in their souls, of course, they feel it, but they don’t stick it out. But those people who claim that they are “not like everyone else” usually turn out to be completely ordinary. They are just trying to attract attention in this way, to feel a little more significant, to assert themselves.
So, the bearer of originality is also distinguished by unique personal qualities. With him they manifest themselves at their own unique level, forming a special bouquet. However, this is the case for every person. Just as there are no two identical snowflakes in nature, there are no absolutely identical characters. But in a unique person, these qualities form a truly unique “bouquet”, very different from everyone else.
Live environmentally consciously
Environmental awareness is a sign of a developed, mature personality that cares not only about itself, but also about the future of humanity. Signs such as separate waste collection, waste paper collection and refusal of anything that can harm the environment indicate a good person. The environmental consciousness of such people is not a tribute to fashion, but a consequence of their love for nature.
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You feel bad after communicating with this person
There are signs that cannot be determined visually. They are located on a different plane, at the level of instincts. For example, when you are dealing with a “good person” and do not see any flaws in his behavior, but somewhere deep inside you feel some kind of catch.
Trust your sixth sense. Manipulators exude a special aura. They emanate a certain confusion and mystery. These people are incomprehensible, impossible to read like an open book. The culprit is their innate ability to disrupt normal thinking. However, ordinary people can easily identify a manipulator; they just have to listen to their state after communicating with him. If you feel confused, angry, disappointed, misunderstood, have a headache or any other negative sensations, stop communicating with this person.
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Makes you defensive
Even a child knows that the best defense is an attack. Some people have mastered the art of manipulation so masterfully that it will be difficult for you to immediately recognize them.
In this case, you need to listen to your feelings; if during a conversation with him you constantly feel the need to justify yourself, then know that this guy is just a dirty manipulator, playing on your sense of duty to please his own goals.
Remember, a person who forces you to always use defensive tactics in a conversation will, in one way or another, negatively influence your life.
Humane actions
There are actually a lot of things you can do to be a good person. Even in our modern and so cruel world. For example, you take out the trash every day, and there are probably leftovers from your dinner. So, give them to the poor, and don’t throw them away. When you get on the bus, give your seat to someone who really has difficulty standing on the bus. And, in the end, when walking down the street, just smile at a passerby. Believe me, such simple actions will ultimately lead to the fact that you will not only bring a little goodness into the existence of the people around you, but you will be able to decorate your own life.
Strong-willed good qualities of a person
A number of strong-willed qualities will show a good person. Everything needs moderation and traits such as frugality, education and discipline will help with this.
Thrift
This is an attentive and caring attitude towards benefits. This quality is commensurate with thriftiness; it allows you to save without turning into stinginess. A thrifty good person can pay attention not only to external and material resources, but also to the internal qualities and energy of other people.
Loyalty
An expression of constancy in everything: partner, worldview, affairs, Motherland. This is one of the main traits for a long and strong relationship. A faithful person is a devotee. A good person does not change his promises and fulfills his duties. The quality of loyalty is associated with willpower. As a rule, strong-willed people are more faithful.
Good manners
The ability to show one’s best qualities in society, high skills in observing the rules of behavior, in accordance with accepted standards. Well-mannered, good people have a high internal culture. They are polite to absolutely everyone. They have good manners and are pleasant to talk to.
Discipline
This is a person’s ability to demonstrate and comply with moral standards and the established order of life. A disciplined person easily organizes his affairs, shows responsibility and is able to increase his productivity. This trait is characterized by composure.
Responsibility
This is a person’s awareness of what exactly depends on him and what he is capable of influencing. The ability to be responsible for one’s actions, make decisions, and understand their consequences. Personal maturity is manifested precisely by the extent to which a person is able to take responsibility. A good person should be able to do this.
Punctuality
A person's ability to manage their time. Punctual people are good, they come to meetings on time. They perform their duties on time and comply with agreements. Such people are valued in many financial fields.
Determination
It is a positive quality of a person to make decisions boldly and quickly. Lack of hesitation, confidence in your actions, awareness of their consequences. Decisive people are usually self-confident and reliable. Such people are called brave.
Modesty
A spiritual and moral property of a person, which is characterized by moderation of all demands, lack of craving for luxury or self-exaggeration. It is especially pleasant if people who are capable and have achieved a lot do not praise themselves, but show restraint. The motives for modesty vary. These can be both respectful qualities and modesty.
Courage
A person’s ability not to succumb to fears, feelings of confusion, and to show decisiveness in actions. In dangerous conditions, remain mentally stable and think soberly. Courage, unlike bravery, allows you to wisely assess what is happening and only then act. This quality helps a good person feel protected and feel the reliability of life. A brave person acts in spite of danger, adequately assessing what happened.
Justice
The ability to impartially assess a situation, based on the basic laws of good and evil. This is one of the categories of ethics, and as a character trait - virtue. It is extremely necessary, while showing justice, to remain objective; sometimes this can be very difficult or even impossible, but a good person will strive for this.
Respect for others
It is about honoring the value of other views. Sensing and respecting boundaries between people. In the work process, this good quality is mandatory for subordination. Only when respect appears is mutual understanding possible.
Confidence
Adequate assessment of one’s own skills and qualities, as well as their use without fear of making mistakes. In an ambiguous situation, a confident person will be calmer. He evaluates his own qualities positively.
Perseverance
Persistence in striving or achieving something. A persistent person knows how to confidently move towards a goal and is not afraid of failure. He carries out plans, showing strength of character. Thanks to this good quality, it is possible to reach the top.
Honesty
Open attitude towards others, inadmissibility of deception. This is a moral good quality, it is possessed by strong, decent people who are able to respect others.
Self-esteem
The ability to show self-respect and know your worth. A good person will first of all pay attention to his own opinion, and then the assessment of others. People with this quality will not commit low acts.
Manifestations of unusualness
The exclusivity, uniqueness and rarity of a person are manifested at all levels. This includes physiology, biology, spirituality, morality, and psychology.
But in this context, a unique person is one who perceives the information that surrounds him through his own unique prism. This is influenced by his inherent views, attitudes, motives, needs, expectations, etc. All of the above from his youth influences the development of the uniqueness of his spiritual and psychological world.
Where does this uniqueness come from in a person, what factors influence its formation? Surely many will say that education and training play a role here. But this is a very controversial statement. The beginning of the formation of originality is laid by the individual’s craving for self-knowledge - his emotions, feelings, personal attitude towards the world. And of course, inner strength. Without it, you won’t be able to make yourself a person with a capital P.
About original thinking
Why be unconventional at all? To stop being categorized as people who are gray and mediocre. If they like it, then let them! But when a person has a desire to change, to become a little more unusual, this is a “bell”.
Why do you need original thinking? Because it's an engine. Standard thinking relaxes the brain and leads to degradation. A person does not develop, does not receive food for thought, does not leave his comfort zone. Some even live “automatically.”
Regardless, the path to originality and broad thinking is through diversity, new experiences, creativity, and even risk-taking. To become one of these people, you will have to learn to break your usual routine, do what you have never had to do, read, develop.
In fact, everything is very simple - you just need to act. It's just that many people are lazy. Well, it's an individual matter. But whoever wants to, will start. If there is a desire, strength and opportunities will appear.
Lying about trifles
This person may not be lying to confuse you. He may not have any ill intentions against you, but he lies about little things and it is very noticeable.
He tells fables that a person with extreme mental retardation can believe, embellishes reality, “plays” with facts and dates from his biography as he pleases.
Why is he doing this? Most likely, just out of habit. And most importantly, he himself does not even notice that he is a generator of continuous lies, which has become an integral part of his conscious life.
Beware of such people, because they are inexhaustible sources of negative energy.
Indifference to the problems of others
They say that selfishness is the father of all vices. When a person sees only himself around, he is unlikely to be bothered by other people's problems.
He can call himself your friend, lay out all his ins and outs from the moment of conception to the present moment, and if you yourself want to share something secret with him, then he will quickly lose interest in this conversation or turn it back to himself.
Such a person can safely be called an energy vampire: he uses his friends as a waste bin. He happily whitewashes himself with his problems, as if shifting some of them onto your shoulders, while he doesn’t care about your life and your condition at all.
Such people must not only be held at arm’s length, but also not allowed to come within range of a cannon shot.
What does kindness give a person?
The main thing for which a person needs kindness is to help him survive and survive as an intelligent entity on the planet. The energy and power of good is endless. Sociologists believe that kindness is a sign of a healthy society.
How much kindness there is in a person, so much life is in him. American poet and philosopher Ralph Emerson
By doing good, people are filled with joy and begin to radiate positive energy to other people, making them happier and happier. It is not without reason that they say that the reward for a good deed is its very accomplishment.
Good always bears rich fruit.I.V. Goethe
Kindness is a useful quality of a person that attracts others, helps to build relationships and attract other people. Kindness is disarming. Not every person can sincerely show kindness to others. In part, this is a sign of strength. A kind person commands respect; they say about him with reverence and gratitude: “He has such a kind heart!”
It is significant that it does not matter whether you do good deeds or watch someone else do them. In both cases there will be similar sensations.
Kindness is an amazing quality; there is never too much of it. The proportions here are transparent. Kindness towards people is always reciprocal. The more a person gives kindness, the more kindness he gets. The more good deeds done, the more joy received.
It has been proven that a person can “pump up” his kindness. Our brain, in response to good deeds done, reacts with “reward” - corresponding pleasant sensations. Subsequently, you can form a kind of “dependence” on good deeds.
For anyone who is sincerely committed to doing good and doing good for others, it is important to maintain a “level of goodness” between how you treat yourself and how you treat others. The importance of kindness lies in the fact that a person's kind attitude towards himself makes him kinder to others. Being kind to yourself is loving and taking care of yourself, taking care of yourself, appreciating and forgiving yourself. If this does not work out, then mood swings, irritability, a feeling of constant fatigue appear, concentration of attention and the level of involvement in surrounding life processes decrease.
Boasts
Mentioning your talents and merits is only appropriate during an interview. In all other cases, this is nothing more than posturing or banal boasting, which is usually supported not by real facts from the biography, but by seething imagination and the desire to wishful thinking.
Therefore, if someone suddenly starts praising themselves and expects you to start singing along with them, try to stay away from such a person.
Typically, such persons try to do everything to lower the self-esteem of their interlocutor below a critical level in order to look more advantageous against his background.
There is an impenetrable mask of goodness on the manipulator’s face
He always smiles and speaks to you in a sweet and insinuating voice. This step is a deliberate attempt to confuse the interlocutor's vigilance, charm and stupefy. Unfortunately, manipulators too often achieve their goal, because there are so many trusting and kind people around. Resisting them, on the one hand, is difficult, but, on the other hand, simple. Do not succumb to provocations and tricks, watch everything that is happening around you. Do not hesitate, and if necessary, take decisive action. Next, we will discuss 5 common signs of a typical manipulator. Who is he, a “good man” with diabolical intentions?
Requires special treatment
People of this type are accustomed to taking generous condescension towards them from some kind-hearted person as something for granted.
They expect their work to be accepted, with a lot of errors or later than the deadline. It seems to them that standing in line is beneath their dignity, and that their interlocutor can pay for dinner. If you are dealing with this type, then very soon you will turn into a cash cow for him.
Talk about themselves
Good people have nothing to hide. They easily talk about themselves, their hobbies, and do not try to look mysterious. However, they do not expect the same openness from others. If you want to keep secrets to yourself, the other person will not insist that you open up. Most likely, you won't want to hide personal information from him.
It is not difficult to recognize a good person. He may differ from generally accepted standards in appearance, for example, have tattoos or hair of an unusual color, or look like a “gray mouse.” But intuition and knowledge of psychology will help you understand who you are dealing with and decide whether it is worth getting to know each other better.
Constantly complaining
Some of the most energetically “heaviest” people are eternal whiners. Yes, life is difficult and sometimes each of us needs someone to sympathize with us.
But when this turns into a lifestyle, the person becomes simply unbearable for those around him, and his complaints about life begin to cause not pity, but irritation.
Of course, the position of the eternal victim is quite convenient, because it helps to put pressure on impressionable people and thus manipulate them. But if you become one of those whose close circle includes people with a similar psychology, you will very soon notice that you have become the same professional pessimist.
Therefore, if someone starts communicating with you with a series of complaints, think about whether you need to see this person in your inner circle. After all, his endless dissatisfaction with reality can negatively affect your life.
