Arrogance is a personality quality that can create in a person a false sense of his own importance due to detachment from any affection, inaccessibility or coldness in relationships with the environment. In other words, a person, like an “inflated soap bubble”, wanting to appear as an important person, withdraws himself from probable, both tactile and emotional collisions, and, inviting everyone to touch him, as in the literal and figurative sense, his coldness and inaccessibility.
What is arrogance
Arrogance is a character trait that can give a person a false sense of self-importance, alienating him from any feelings, and also makes him unapproachable or cold in communicating with other people. In other words, a person, like an “inflatable bubble,” wanting to appear important, fences himself off from likely tactile and emotional encounters, offering his coldness and inaccessibility to everyone who wants to touch him, both literally and figuratively.
The Bible notes that arrogance, arrogance and vanity are characteristic of people who have a distant and disdainful attitude towards God. The word “arrogance” itself has Old Church Slavonic roots, and its exact meaning is “to pout,” a synonym for arrogance, arrogance, or pride.
A person's arrogance with his "icy coldness" repels other people who might previously have wanted to enter into emotional intimacy with this person. Arrogance prevents you from sharing emotions and feelings, crying, and repenting. This trait in a person discourages any desire to communicate with him.
Affection, friendship and love are not allowed in the vocabulary of an arrogant person. He hides them deep in his soul. It is no secret that it is in the manifestation of emotions and feelings that a person’s originality and individuality are born, affection is born, which turns into sympathy. Fearing disappointment, an arrogant person distances himself from all feelings, does not allow anyone into his inner world, and therefore ceases to behave directly, sympathetically, naturally and pleasantly.
Arrogance is a “therapy” for shyness, awkwardness and embarrassment. By putting on a mask of arrogance, that is, overcoming awkwardness and constraint, it is easier for a person to begin doing things that are important to him.
An arrogant person does not lecture. It is not his intention to impose anything on another person. His principle is to go “your own way.” He is alienated from another person not because of neglect, but often because of the “cold inaccessibility” that hides an insecure personality. Intimacy can “melt” intransigence, rejection, and behind them, one’s own imperfection and weakness. Arrogance in its characteristics is very similar to pretentiousness, affectation, and rigidity.
An arrogant person has no desire to humiliate another person. His coldness and despondency hurt everyone and cause emotional outrage and resentment in people. However, there is no intentional humiliation in a person who has this trait.
Arrogance makes a person believe that he is better and more exceptional than anyone else.
An example of an arrogant person from my life
At one of the country's universities there was a short woman who did a fairly simple job: she collected money for a paid toilet and cleaned it. When students were around her, they got the impression that she felt no less than the dean.
Always a straight back, ironed clothes, a contemptuous look. Despite her height, she seemed to look down on them. A metallic voice with a hint of superiority, uttered by almost everyone who visits this place: “Don’t you know that you have to bring money without change?!”, “And a rag on the floor for beauty?!”, “Wipe your feet!”, “Close the door ! You haven’t learned order!” This is an example of a person whose arrogance is probably a defensive reaction to his own feelings.
When it comes to successful people, most pop stars, actors and politicians are definitely arrogant. Each of them considers himself the best and tries to attract as much attention as possible to show his superiority over others.
Psychological portrait of an arrogant person
The not very long word “arrogance” denotes an entire psychological characteristic. A person suffering from this vice is a rather complex person.
First of all, it should be said that such a person lives in an illusory world. In such a world it is much easier for him to exist than in reality. Often an arrogant person becomes like this after he tried to prove himself in some area, but failed, quickly “blown away” and experienced mental trauma. Such a person is not used to overcoming difficulties.
At the same time, an arrogant person is usually a “consumer perfectionist.” This means that he wants to get the best from life, but cannot or does not want to make any effort to achieve it. He is simply confident that he has the right to the “best pieces” of the common pie and to the worship of others.
A person living in reality knows that there is no limit to perfection. And that no matter how good he is (hardworking, educated, physically strong, spiritually rich, etc.), there are thousands of other people who are much better in these qualities than him. But for the arrogant, the process of development has already been completed, and he himself seems to be the crown of this development.
Sometimes the behavior of an arrogant person takes unusual forms. For example, a mask of sacrifice. A person strives to show himself as a kind of “Mother Teresa”: he strives to help everyone (when they don’t ask for it), gives everyone “practical advice” (when they are not needed). Sometimes he is ready to spend even his last money, in order, for example, to gain universal recognition, without doing anything truly useful. The result of such “sacrifice” is exactly the same as with ordinary pride: it is irritation and anger when one does not receive recognition.
The latter can be compared to the behavior of a politician or oligarch who is trying to engage in “charity.” Famous actors and musicians also indulge in this when they feel that their fame is being forgotten, CDs are no longer bought as much as before, and they are no longer invited to act in leading roles.
By allocating a small amount of money to help those in need, such a celebrity creates a sensation about this in all media, exaggerates his merit, trying to ensure that millions of people pay close attention to her again
Characteristic manifestations
Arrogance can manifest itself in different ways.
- Consumer attitude. A person expects that everyone will notice him, that everyone will praise him, and that everyone will respect him. There is a belief that every person is obliged to satisfy his needs. They revere people who admire them and despise those who refuse to show them respect.
- An arrogant person does not know how to cooperate with anyone. They cannot accept being compared or equated to someone else because they are better.
- Imposture. Such a person does not recognize the individuality of other people and does not care about their desires and feelings. When they hurt someone, they ignore that fact.
- He puts himself in a better position. Believes that they occupy the highest stage of evolution. They will prove that they are right, read lectures, make comments and poke their nose into other people's affairs. He easily criticizes those who do not meet his standards, pointing out their weaknesses and failures. Constantly looks for the shortcomings of other people in order to point out their weaknesses and thereby elevate himself above them.
- They always refer to their own achievements. They want to talk as much as possible about themselves, about what happened to them, what they achieved, what they achieved, because it is important for them to be in the spotlight.
- The first impression can be a pleasant one. If you meet an arrogant person, you may be charmed. Extraversion, charisma, and sociability are characteristics of a person when you first meet them. However, these governments are superficial and short-lived. In fact, it is characterized by low empathy, selfishness and contempt.
- They demonstrate their individuality, attracting public attention. They may talk loudly, click their heels, wear makeup, or do anything to hide their insecurities.
- Difficulties in establishing relationships. An arrogant person pushes people away. Who wants to be around a person who exalts himself above others? It is also worth considering that arrogance characterizes a person as self-sufficient, so he does not need the company of other people. In fact, forced isolation provokes the development of serious discomfort.
- Negative attitude towards criticism. Such people are absolutely sure that they know exactly how to behave in a given situation; no one can tell them, much less tell them that they are wrong.
- It is extremely difficult for such a person to ask for forgiveness; he is completely convinced that he can do nothing wrong, he always does everything right. In addition, they tend to blame other people for all their misfortunes.
Arrogance can be expressed differently for each person.
How to resist arrogance
- Set a goal for yourself. Why do you need to get rid of arrogant behavior? After all, you must have a clear motivation indicating the need to free yourself from arrogance.
- Communicate with people, listen to their opinions, learn to evaluate not only your point of view, but also the thoughts of others.
- Ask yourself, are you really as good as you think? Take a piece of paper, write down your positive and negative traits, analyze what you wrote. You can also write down different areas of activity and imagine whether you can succeed in each of them. Surely not. And this will indicate that you are not the strongest, best and smartest person in the whole world.
- It is possible that you are an excellent specialist in your field. But think about it, perhaps there is an individual who is stronger. Remember that there are no irreplaceable specialists. Today it is very easy to find a replacement for any employee. It is necessary to understand that, having achieved success, taken a certain position and stopped developing, you will not continue to remain the best. Only that person will achieve real success who will listen to the criticism of other people, constantly engage in self-improvement, and do not sit in one place.
- Learn to see your mistakes and analyze them.
- If you have offended someone, ask for forgiveness. Be aware of other people's feelings, put yourself in their shoes, try to feel what they are feeling at the moment.
- Stop focusing everyone's attention on yourself. Look at other people, evaluate their interests and problems. During a conversation, it is unacceptable to point out your superiority or show disdain for your interlocutor.
- Ask your relatives and work colleagues to point out your shortcomings, as well as your strengths. Analyze what you heard, accept the fact that everyone has shortcomings and weaknesses.
- Start playing board games, such as checkers or chess. By losing games, we learn humility, which means we lose arrogance.
- Try to pay attention to other people, learn from them, and don’t forget to share your knowledge. Don't resort to envy.
- Be polite, don't be afraid to say "please", "thank you", "sorry", and give people compliments.
- Try to praise people from your surroundings as often as possible, begin to truly respect those who are close to you.
Be prepared for the fact that this path will not be so quick and easy, that it will take a lot of time to change yourself and your type of thinking.
Causes
The onset of arrogant behavior occurs in childhood.
There are two reasons for the development of arrogance:
- A defensive reaction of the human psyche, acting as overcompensation for personal shortcomings;
- The appearance of arrogance as a result of obvious success.
This has led psychologists to believe that the factors contributing to arrogance are: feelings of inferiority, selfishness, self-doubt, low self-esteem when the child is the favorite in the family, self-centeredness. Growing up, the child gets used to this role, even if he has real achievements.
If a child grows up in a family with a high social status, accustomed to a superior position over other people in society, then such a person will certainly be arrogant, provided that those around him flatter him and try to please him.
Signs of Arrogance
This trait is characterized by straightforwardness, lack of submissiveness, flattery and servility. This power can prevail over immodesty, pompousness, boastfulness, and vanity. An arrogant person laughs little, fearing “to lose his dignity.”
An arrogant person does not humiliate anyone, but shows others that they are not his equal. This is noticeable in their outward behavior and shows that an arrogant person does not want to get close to other people, let alone fit in with them.
When an arrogant person wants to communicate, he “scans” the interlocutor for social status before starting communication. If the interlocutor is not interested, the arrogant person “throws” a disgusted look at him or simply uses non-verbal signals of contempt: does not look at him, raises his eyebrows, leaves without waiting for an answer.
An arrogant person tries to get by without words. They are characterized by conceit, self-confidence, arrogance, pride, a dismissive and derogatory attitude towards others. This behavior is not uncommon when communicating with peers, but is most pronounced when communicating with people of low social status.
When communicating with people of higher social status, for example, if they occupy a position of authority, an arrogant person often shows conformity. Arrogance is also found in people with psychopathological tendencies.
An arrogant person feels the need to dominate and is overly confident in his abilities and the deservedness of his success. But in general, arrogant behavior acts as a compensatory mechanism for self-doubt. Such a person craves admiration and respect for certain qualities or actions.
Arrogant behavior is common to all people to a certain extent and under certain circumstances. However, in the case of people who are constantly arrogant, this is their constant pattern of behavior.
Arrogant behavior provokes aggression, discrimination and hostility. On a personal level, arrogance can lead to extreme forms of arrogance that are harmful to a person's health because, in proving his superiority over society, a person works to the limit of his body's capabilities.
How to deal with it
To cope with your own arrogance, you need to come down to earth, so to speak. An adequate attitude to reality, studying the world around us - the way it really is - will help to overcome this feeling. It is imperative to communicate with a large number of people. Getting to know a variety of representatives of the human race will allow you to realize your own weaknesses and the superiority of others in certain areas.
There is no need to be afraid of this superiority. Communication with people will also help you see that even initially weak people achieve success without really trying to hide these weaknesses.
To overcome arrogance, you need to learn to understand alternative points of view on a particular problem. Everyone can make mistakes, and you are no exception. But even if the other person is wrong, this does not mean that he is stupid and inferior. Our knowledge about a subject is formed on the basis of available information, and we obtain the maximum information largely by accident. A child born into the family of a rural priest and the son of a biology professor will receive different amounts of knowledge about a living organism, but the ignorance of the priest’s son will not be his fault. The same goes for wealth, fame and influence - they are the result not only of a person’s personal efforts, but also of the random coincidence of a number of circumstances.
Understanding randomness can help you overcome arrogance. After all, it makes no sense to be proud of what you got by pure chance: nationality, race, country or city of residence, level of education, parents, social status. If, knowing this, you still continue to fall into arrogance, then these are already signs of a serious mental illness, namely schizophrenia. Indeed, in this case, a person begins to believe that he is the favorite of God, fate, the entire universe, since he received all the best at birth. Thus, arrogance can give rise to religious fanaticism and other mental deviations.
Pros and cons of arrogance
Having understood what arrogance is, we can conclude that it is an undesirable character trait. In fact, the signs of arrogant people discussed above are their main shortcomings.
They are usually disliked and rarely have truly close friends. Their arrogance and inflated self-esteem are striking, causing a biased negative attitude among others. However, there are also some positive traits that others may like once they get to know them well enough.
The benefits of arrogance include:
- Calm approach to awkward situations. An arrogant person copes well with awkwardness and inhibition, which is often beneficial.
- No tendency to lecture or give unsolicited advice. An arrogant person usually doesn't waste time trying to make someone better. He “allows” other people to remain as “imperfect.”
- Good manners, pretentiousness, primitivism. These traits often accompany arrogance. If someone considers himself a role model, then in reality he only cares about himself.
Despite their tendency to elevate themselves above others, arrogant people usually do not seek to put others down. They emphasize their strengths, but do not point out the shortcomings of others.
It is important to be able to defend your boundaries in the company of an arrogant person
Recommendations
1. How do you understand what you need to do to improve your life and get rid of arrogance? First of all, examine yourself, try to remember when exactly you began to consider yourself better than others? Write down all the situations in which similar thoughts arose. Analyze this list. What happened to you in each case, what feelings did you experience, what did you cope with at that moment and what did you want? Understanding the reason for the emergence of this character trait will help you cope with it and “thaw out”, become more humane and able to build close, trusting relationships.
2. Work tirelessly on your self-esteem, bring the far-fetched image of yourself closer to reality. No one is perfect, and showing that you are vulnerable in some way does not mean that you are weak and undeserving of love. On the contrary, that you are a living person, capable of feeling and making you want to support you and be close to you, and not run as far as possible from your pomposity. Take a look at this article, the recommendations indicated in it may be useful in this situation.
3. Gradually build relationships with colleagues, family and friends; of course, it will take a lot of time, but it’s worth it. If you don’t know how, take a closer look at them, how do they communicate with each other? Do they help, empathize, laugh at jokes or their own failures? What is going on that makes them get closer to each other and not further away? At first, you may have to learn simple things like saying “thank you,” giving compliments, and resisting the urge to make a comment. The article here will help you master communication skills.
4. Take courage and start working on your fears and complexes. This is not an easy process, but it is important to be honest with yourself, if you discover your weak spot, you will become stronger. Read the article about complexes.
5. Learn to show love and compassion. Excessive pride will not help you win love and respect, you will get it if you are able to give it yourself. It’s not easy to go down, but experiencing the feeling of unbearable loneliness is much more difficult and requires more energy and resources.
Rules for communicating with an arrogant person
If you notice that arrogant people have appeared in your environment, learn to communicate with them in such a way as not to spoil the nerves of either yourself or others.
- If you hear something offensive from such a person, do not remain silent, but react. Understand that an arrogant person is very self-centered and does not even suspect that he can offend with his words.
- Tell the pompous person that their opinion is just their opinion and that other people may think completely differently. What he says is not the absolute truth.
- If the pompous person interrupts and starts talking only about himself, say, “Sorry to interrupt you, but I would like to tell you something about myself.
- If a person is arrogant, tell him directly that he is arrogant. Say it softly, like, “You feel like you said that too arrogantly, don't you?”
How to get rid of arrogance
If there is a need to get rid of arrogant behavior, it is necessary from time to time to put yourself in the shoes of people who experience the person's arrogance. It is important to learn to accept people for who they are, without thinking that they are inferior. Nothing should give one person the right to be superior to another. If an arrogant person understands that he has offended his interlocutor, he should not make excuses, but simply sincerely apologize. If others believe that a person is guilty, but he does not admit his guilt, it is necessary to express his point of view.
It is unacceptable to talk about personal superiority or express disrespect towards the interlocutor. You can ask friends, relatives, colleagues to point out mistakes, shortcomings and advantages in your behavior. After hearing this, it is important to understand that all people have weaknesses and shortcomings.
Arrogance as a character trait will disappear if a person begins to be interested in others, ask them different questions, pay attention, and stop judging and criticizing them.
Arrogance is often characteristic of an immature personality. A mature person understands that there are no limits to development; there are the most successful people in every field. It is important to understand that society exists because some people complement others, and those who have achieved significant success in life teach those who have failed and do not ridicule them because of it.
Definition of the concept
Arrogance implies a need for dominance, a person’s excessive confidence in his own abilities, strength, and credit for success. By and large, arrogant behavior serves as a compensation mechanism for self-distrust and lack of self-confidence. Arrogant behavior has synonyms, namely pompous and arrogant.
An arrogant person is one who behaves exaltedly, exalts himself over other people, considers himself more valuable and important, as a result of which he treats others with disdain. Such an individual wants to be admired, to be respected for the presence of certain qualities or accomplished actions.
Arrogant behavior is characteristic of almost all people in a certain life situation or in the presence of special circumstances. As for individuals who are characterized by constant arrogance, for them this is a stable pattern of behavior.
Arrogance is a character trait of an immature personality. A mature person understands that development has no limits and realizes that in any business there can be more and less successful people.
It is necessary to understand that society exists due to the fact that some individuals complement others, those who have achieved greater success teach the less successful, and do not ridicule them. Arrogant behavior gives rise to discrimination, hostility, and aggression. At the personal level, pompous behavior can take on extreme forms, causing harm to a person’s life and health, because, trying to prove his superiority to others, an individual can work, thinning his body. And this will lead to the destruction of personality.
