The state of falling in love

Falling in love is a complex of positive emotions and feelings that is directed towards another person. Humanity has long been wondering what love and infatuation are. Are there differences in these concepts, is it feelings, hormonal surges or something else? Some people believe that falling in love is a disease for which there is a cure. Others think that this is a gift from above, and not everyone can experience such a feeling. In a state of love, a person experiences euphoria, but what then to do with an unrequited feeling, because then this feeling does not bring euphoria, but suffering. If this is a gift from above, then why does fleeting love exist?

Scientists have something to work on; periodically new theories and hypotheses are put forward about this condition, because the psychology of falling in love has not been studied. Not long ago, experts came to the conclusion that such a condition is nothing more than a physiological reaction. In the presence of the object of his love, the human brain is saturated with dopamine, and the person cannot see flaws in his beloved. How long does falling in love last? According to psychologists, on average this feeling can last up to 2 years.

The essence and definition of love

Of course, scientists have long been thinking and researching this condition, which excites the heart and mind of a person, but they have not come to any consensus. However, there are still some postulates.

A lover is a person who experiences strong emotions, passion and sexual attraction to another individual, his feelings are uncontrollable, and he is unable to force himself to stop experiencing them. A lover in his feelings receives stimulation for creativity, self-improvement and discovery. For the body, love is stress, and some scientists are sure that when a person is in love, noticeable changes are observed in his mental state, they resemble a mental disorder!

Signs of love

True love is manifested in actions and deeds, not in words.

Love is:

constant care;
desire not to cause pain;
unlimited trust;
spiritual intimacy;
mutual respect;
sacrifice, willingness to do anything for the sake of your loved one;
the ability to let go of your loved one, as long as he is happy;
the ability to put his interests above your own;
the desire to become better next to him, self-improvement;
readiness to come to the rescue, to be with your loved one not only in joy, but also in sorrow.

Reasons for falling in love

How does falling in love happen? Why does a person fall in love with someone who doesn’t seem to suit him, while another, who has much more merit, remains unattended? Everything has reasons, and even such a bright feeling as falling in love can be found.

Scientists believe that there are different reasons for falling in love - psychological, financial, hormonal, physiological. The physiological reasons for falling in love are as follows:

Inaccessibility. It is believed that the harder it is to get someone's attention, the more interesting they become.
Positive. If there is a lack of positive emotions in your life, and suddenly you meet a person who smiles, enjoys life and has a positive attitude in everything, naturally, you will be drawn to him. You will want to live like him - joyfully and cheerfully.
Mystery. Mystery is always interesting. If a person cannot understand how the object of his attention relates to him, this riddle excites and arouses interest.
Type. If this is not the first love, then, as a rule, the chosen person looks similar to the previous one. After all, falling in love is always associated with warm and bright memories that you want to repeat. In the case of first love, the situation is approximately the same: teenagers in love choose an object similar to their ideal (mother, father, movie character).
Gestures. Studies have been conducted that have proven that a person who accompanies his speech with gestures arouses more interest than one who does not. With the help of gestures, the opponent seems to penetrate into the intimate zone of the interlocutor and becomes one of his own in it.
Similar facial features. When you meet a person who is similar to you in appearance, he is automatically perceived by you as family and friends. It seems like you've known him for a long time and you trust him completely.
Eye contact. If you were able to establish visual contact with a person for more than 2 minutes, then some kind of connection arises between you. At the same time, trust and sympathy for the person increases.

Separately, it must be said that there is spring love. Spring is the awakening of all living things - plants, animals and humans too. A person's hormonal levels change slightly in the spring. The sun, warmth and bright greenery lift your spirits, everything seems more beautiful and better than, for example, in winter or autumn. Therefore, lovers in the spring are especially happy, because euphoria is given to them not only by their feeling, but also by a hormonal surge.

Behavior of a loving husband

Your opinion matters to him

This does not mean that a loving husband is afraid to take even a step without you. He’s just sure that decisions on such important issues as vacations, buying household appliances, a loan for an apartment, and children’s education should be made in a family council, and not with colleagues or parents.

He cares about your health

The candy-bouquet period usually ends with the creation of a family, but many continue to believe that true love is luxurious flowers, expensive gifts, romantic trips to exotic countries. Firstly, not everyone can afford it, and no one has canceled family budget planning. Secondly, for a loving husband, the physical and psychological health of his other half is much more important. He feels the need to take care of her in order to see his wife happy as often as possible.

He is ready to compromise

A woman does not always understand how a loving man feels when he obediently agrees with her fantastic ideas. A sign of true love is a willingness to give in, ask for forgiveness, and take the side of your loved one.

He tries to please you

Many wives do not see anything special in the fact that their husband helps around the house, goes to the store together, invites them to the theater or to the park for a walk. But these are the happy moments of family life. Manifestation of love is attention to you and the desire to be near you every free minute.

Everyone understands love relationships in their own way, but sexual attraction must be distinguished from real feelings, true love. After all, men are characterized by inconstancy.

Thank you for reading this article to the end.

Hello, my name is Yaroslav Samoilov. I am an expert in the psychology of relationships and over the years of practice I have helped more than 10,000 girls meet worthy soul mates, build harmonious relationships and return love and understanding to families that were on the verge of divorce.
More than anything, I am inspired by the happy eyes of students who meet the people of their dreams and enjoy a truly vibrant life.
My goal is to show women a way to develop relationships that will help them create a synergy of success and happiness!

Stages of falling in love

Scientists have determined the stages of falling in love, it looks something like this:

Evaluating stage. A person assesses the external data, mental and personal qualities of a potential lover.
Stage of interest. There is a desire to continue communication and get to know the person better. Thoughts about possible relationships appear.
Attraction stage. This stage consists of courting the person of interest.
Impression. A person tries to impress the object, show all his advantages and interest him in the same way as he is interested.
Persuasion stage. A person becomes convinced that he is in love and tries to make the object of his adoration fall in love with himself.
Strengthening the belief. A person understands that he is reciprocated (or not reciprocated), the behavior of a lover consists of the reaction of the object of attention: either it is euphoria, or painful feelings caused by refusal.
Actually falling in love is a strong desire to create a relationship.

What should I do if I'm in love and he doesn't notice?

Get his attention.

Of course, if the young man who is attracted to you does not notice you, then the most logical thing would be to try to attract his attention. If you are unfamiliar, then find him on a social network and write a message. To get started, just try to make acquaintances. If you already know each other and see each other periodically, then you have a chance to attract him with a change in your image.

Find out about his tastes.

We can talk about both his hobbies and the girls he liked before. try to determine which type is most preferable for him, whether you have anything in common with this type and whether you can somehow get closer to him. also find out what the guy is passionate about. Perhaps these hobbies will seem interesting to you, and subsequently you will become close precisely on this basis.

Find new interests.

Try to become more interesting for your chosen one, since he is not yet showing interest. You can find many exciting hobbies that will increase your self-esteem and present you in a new light in the eyes of your lover.

Symptoms of falling in love

While psychologists and other scientists are debating what falling in love is, doctors have formulated a diagnosis - a mental disorder with a disorder of habits and inclinations. In addition, they identified the symptoms of falling in love:

obsessive thoughts and ideas;
insomnia;
mood swings;
self-pity or inflated sense of self-esteem;
blood pressure surges,
actions committed in a state of passion.

To put it simply, the feeling of falling in love can be described as follows:

cardiopalmus;
facial redness;
heat;
trembling in hands;
feeling of “butterflies in the stomach”;
complete or partial loss of logic, analysis and adequate decisions;
creative expression of one's experiences.

These are the verbal and non-verbal signs of falling in love. If we talk about where it all begins, we can identify the following obvious first signs of falling in love:

thoughts constantly return to the object;
the subconscious draws an image of heartfelt affection;
there is a strong desire to see the object again;
fear that the feeling will not be answered.

The signs of a man in love may differ slightly from the signs of a woman in love:

Changing habitual behavior. This happens not only for the better (to please), but also unconsciously: a pedant can become completely absent-minded, the life of the party can become quiet and silent, etc. This happens due to the fact that the feeling that arises always turns out to be an unexpected surprise, to which the man is not ready.
Increased attention. The lover’s gaze is always directed towards his chosen one, and when even she is not around, the man will be interested in who she is friends with, where she goes, etc.
Using different approaches. You can recognize a man in love by his unusual and unusual actions: he can get a dog so that he can run into the girl he likes in the park, enroll in courses where she goes, etc.
By the way a lover behaves in the presence of the object of his interest, one can guess about his feelings. As a rule, these are stupid actions, empty and nervous conversations. The lover’s gaze is clouded: he is afraid of making a mistake, but at the same time wants to show himself in all his glory. He may be awkward, knock over his cup of tea, drop his fork - all indicate that the person is in an extremely excited and nervous state.
The lover's gaze is directed not only at his beloved, but also at himself. He begins to take care of himself, tries to earn more, gets rid of bad habits if they are not pleasant to his lady love.

These are signs of a man in love. With a woman, things are a little different:

The girl is completely delighted with everything that her lover says and does. Moreover, she remembers everything he said or did well.
She really wants to know the opinion of the object of her interest about her.
The girl is nervous, a strange smile may freeze on her face, she becomes absent-minded and, as they say, flies in the clouds.
The girl is more active than usual: she is constantly somewhere, meeting, talking. She wants to support, advise, help, she is always in a good mood.
A girl in love begins to get involved in horoscopes, predictions, fortune telling and other esotericism.
For the girl, the world around her ceases to exist. She is completely immersed in her feelings, which she constantly shares with her friends.

Why do men hide their emotions?

A loving man feels many emotions, sometimes a real storm of passion covers him. The opportunity to experience these new, sometimes frightening sensations attracts him no matter what. Possessing subtle intuition, a woman, even after a long acquaintance, can notice insincerity on the part of her partner.

Psychological attitudes are laid in children from a very early age. According to a tradition that goes back centuries, the attitude towards boys in the family is strict, sometimes even harsh. Fathers, and even mothers, actively project into the consciousness of their sons concepts that characterize purely masculine qualities. This is strength, courage, patience, a sense of responsibility. In this case, expressions like: “You’re a boy, don’t cry!” or “Be patient, you are a future soldier” and the like. Fatherly instructions look like a guide to action, forming in the child’s fragile psyche a stable ban on the full expression of his feelings. This is not so bad, it just once again confirms the influence of public opinion on the formation of a person’s personality.

Thanks to the prevailing stereotype, women imagine a true protector to be strong both physically and morally. Therefore, loving men try to carefully hide their true feelings under the guise of severe coldness, considering their manifestation a weakness of character.

A feeling of fear takes root deep in the subconscious for life. Excessive restraint for fear of showing true emotional impulses makes them more callous, unlike women. But the passions boiling inside can sometimes be very difficult to hide even for the most persistent and self-possessed. Let's look at the most common reasons why a loving man is afraid to admit how he feels.

Fear of being rejected. Realizing that the choice remains with the woman, even the most successful and self-confident representative of the stronger sex, deep down in his soul, is afraid that he will not be reciprocated. For this reason, he tries to emphasize his supposed indifference.
The habit of living alone. Having led a single life for many years, the man does not want to give it up. He values the independence of an alpha male, which he is not going to exchange for family relationships.
Bad experience. The reason for the chosen one’s silence may be a difficult breakup that he experienced in a past relationship. Having such experience, men are afraid to “step on a rake” again and refrain from making serious commitments in the future.
Restraint in emotions. A tribute to the prevailing stereotype that a loving man should not show tender feelings, be stern and restrained in emotions. Romantic relationships, sympathy, love are interpreted as weakness. Not wanting to be considered weak-willed among his friends, he will try for as long as possible not to show that he feels special interest.
Uncertainty about your feelings. Before declaring his love, a guy must figure out for himself what he feels. And if he is not sure whether this is love or just a fleeting attraction, then there is no need to wait for confessions yet.
Fear of becoming henpecked. Fear arises in a potential groom from the depths of the subconscious, since a declaration of love, in his opinion, makes him vulnerable. He believes that the chosen one will definitely take advantage of the momentary weakness of a loving partner and will manipulate him.

Method of protection. Despite their “male” upbringing, deep down, guys are sentimental and even vulnerable. External isolation and coldness are essentially a barrier behind which a sensitive, loving nature is hidden.

Dangerous disease

Intense love, as many doctors believe, is sometimes a rather dangerous condition for human health. The behavior of a lover is accompanied by strong stress, both nervous and psychological, that is, the human body suffers both morally and physically. At their core, the signs of a person in love are very similar to the signs of a person: a drug addict, suffering from neuroses, as well as manifestations of obsessive-compulsive disorder.

But people are not afraid of this condition, they do not go to the doctor, on the contrary, they look for love and are happy when they find it. All this is wonderful and wonderful, but only when the feelings are mutual. But if there is no reciprocity, then falling in love often becomes a serious illness that can even threaten a person’s life, especially if the lover becomes fixated on his condition.

However, everything depends on a person’s attitude to the situation, his personal qualities, will and psychological maturity. How a person in love behaves, who still hopes or already has a reciprocal feeling, was considered. But what happens to a lover whose feelings are left unanswered? This is where doctors begin to sound the alarm: after all, in this case, we can talk not only about the psychological and mental health of a person, but also his life. How to determine love that has not received reciprocal feelings? There are 3 scenario options here:

A person withdraws into himself, suffers, feels humiliated, helpless. His self-esteem plummets. As a rule, it is difficult to get such a person out of the house. Perhaps he will drink or use drugs to numb the pain that constantly torments him. Depressive states develop and thoughts of suicide appear.
A rejected lover goes to great lengths. He begins to lead a very active lifestyle, throwing himself headlong into the pool. Such people show signs of neurasthenia: they deliberately find themselves in dangerous situations, thus fleeing from their feelings. They seek to replace them with others. This is a rather dangerous condition, since in this case it can all end in severe speeding in a car, jumping off a bridge without insurance, etc.
Hysterical state of falling in love. Constant hysterics are replaced by the imposition of one’s feelings on the object of adoration. A person can achieve reciprocal feelings in different ways - threats, force, blackmail, and inducing self-pity. Each time, new ideas are brewing in his head on how to achieve reciprocity, i.e., paranoid syndrome develops.

How does a loving man behave?

The first acquaintance took place, the bouquet given on the date had not yet faded, but the counterpart did not call again. How to perceive such behavior? There may be several reasons.

How a loving man behaves:

Uncertain behavior and anxiety

Take a closer look at your date. Facial expressions and gestures are much more expressive than words. If he is very nervous, lost and cannot speak coherently, or, conversely, is too cold and self-confident, then you can calm down. Most likely, he feels that he is in love.

Desire to please, to please

It's nice to receive gifts, but it's no less nice to give them, which is what loving guys prefer. It could be a luxurious surprise or a pleasant trifle, a trip to a restaurant or a movie. Perhaps this is not the case when you just want to while away the evening. Most likely, a loving young man is showing signs of attention, expecting to gather more information about you during a casual conversation.

Sincere emotions

It is impossible to completely hide what a man feels when he loves a woman or experiences deep feelings about another matter. An open face, eyes sparkling with joy, a willingness to answer any question, a languid look - all this speaks of serious passion. A loving person is not indifferent to your opinion, he tries to show himself from the best side.

Pays special attention to his appearance

Even a young man who is not particularly neat, when getting ready for a date, will wash and carefully iron his trousers, put on a fresh shirt, and use expensive perfume. After all, his goal is to convince the girl that he is the best. In this regard, loving men, like women, are well aware of the role of appearance in the courtship process. Therefore, a gallant gentleman must look perfect in order to win the lady’s favor.

Interested in your life

Some comrades may call 10 times a day to keep abreast of your every move, but this is a rare occurrence. Usually, a young man, carried away by a new acquaintance, tries to learn more about your friends and even get to know them. He is interested in how you like to spend your leisure time, where you prefer to go on vacation, your favorite dishes, and so on on the list. This information makes it possible to feel and fulfill your desires. A real gentleman will never forget to call.

Love and infatuation

How to recognize infatuation and love? What is the difference? Well, firstly, falling in love is fleeting, but love can accompany a person throughout his life. Falling in love begins brightly and quickly, but ends the same way. People understand that they are completely different, nothing connects them, and all that was between them was a passion, nothing more. Love is an eternal feeling, it does not appear suddenly, it develops and grows stronger gradually. Love is based on strong ties, and the winds of change are not afraid of it. Love makes a person better, more perfect, 2 loving people do not need anyone else. But in relationships between people in love, a third person very often appears, which, as a rule, breaks the couple’s relationship. When falling in love passes, a person may feel discomfort and a lack of something in his life for some time, after which he calms down, and may even completely forget about the past relationship. Love never passes, even if loving people cannot be together, they love each other from a distance, and sincerely wish mutual happiness.

In fact, only love can make a person truly and forever happy. Therefore, you should not succumb to deception and rush into a relationship with a person you don’t really know. After all, sooner or later disappointment and pain will appear. Expect love - this is a lot of work, but at the same time a great joy: living with a person with whom you want to always be, having children and remaining loving and faithful to each other until old age.

How to determine that these are real feelings and not a habit

Think about it: would you want to build a relationship with this person if you initially knew all his shortcomings and could roughly guess how your relationship would develop in the future? If love lives in your heart, then you will answer this question in the affirmative.

Also, in order to dispel doubts, you can imagine next to you a man who, according to your ideas, can be called ideal. Determine for yourself, would you exchange your chosen one for this “perfect” person? If your relationship is more about habit than love, then you will choose an unattainable ideal.

Another good test would be a separate vacation. If you understand that you are quite comfortable without your chosen one, you don’t want to share the brightest moments of your journey with him, then probably your love for him has passed.

If you increasingly catch yourself thinking that you like another man or the objects of your affection are constantly changing, then, apparently, only habit is keeping you with your current boyfriend or husband.

State Description

During the period of falling in love, the object of sympathy for a person becomes the most beautiful and unattainable. An individual experiencing this feeling begins to draw bright colorful images in his imagination, which may not always correspond to reality. However, a lover, as a rule, does not understand this.

The state of falling in love suppresses the voice of reason, the positive features of the object of love are brought to the fore, and its negative qualities become invisible. One of the main symptoms of falling in love is the unbridled and constant sexual attraction that appears to the object of sympathy.

A person experiencing this feeling loses the desire to do anything, drink, eat, rest and work. Since all the lover’s thoughts at this time are directed exclusively at the object of desire. Until the main goal is achieved, namely, the person causing this feeling does not belong to the lover in soul and body, the symptoms of falling in love do not fade away.