What is interest?
To understand how to regain interest in life and why to do it, as the psychologist says, you must first understand what interest is. “Interest is getting some benefit. Where are all our desires directed? Of course, to states when we always want to experience something, to experience something. Our whole interest is in getting some kind of result, impressions,” says Tatyana Balashova. But sometimes a person loses this interest.
Society insists on finding the meaning of life, on being more effective, insists on quick gratification, quick solutions. From every corner you can hear: “Act, Achieve, Don’t waste time.”
“The constant noise in my head and constant fatigue accumulate every day. A person lives from Friday to Friday, counting the hours until the weekend. But the weekend passes, and the fatigue remains as it was. Loss of strength leads to loss of ability to work. Dissatisfaction with yourself and your results appears. Unachieved goals, constant disruption of plans - this has become especially relevant at the present time. There is a desire to hide from negative emotions, thereby a person seems to forbid himself to feel. The eternal bustle in the race for achievements and the attempt to force oneself to work even more leads to the fact that a person ultimately does not understand why he is doing it, and loses the meaning,” says Tatyana Balashova.
Now very often people come to psychotherapists with suppressed feelings and needs, the specialist notes.
Zero emotions and strange interests. Doctor about signs of mental disorders Read more
Time for a change
Very often, such a time comes after circumstances change, a person moves to a new status, etc. For example, school ended, which was full of many different events, but nothing similar happened at the university.
Or after a toxic relationship, when one of the partners finally felt freedom, and emptiness followed. This period is familiar to businessmen who just started their business and worked day and night, and after two years they stopped and seemed stuck in a vacuum.
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Why does apathy begin?
“The frequent request “I don’t want anything” suggests that “I don’t want to experience feelings.” It all starts from childhood. Who among us in childhood did not hear: “You did it wrong,” “Behave well, you’re a girl,” “Don’t cry, you’re a boy,” “You never know what you want,” and so on?” - says Tatyana Balashova.
The psychologist gives one example: a child climbs a high slide, and then his mother shouts to him: “Come on, get off immediately, you’re going to fall.” Why does she draw this conclusion? From my own experience and experiences. Yes, perhaps he will fall, but this will be his life experience. There is a standard phrase: “The parent knows best!” But that's not true! Of course, a child can be warned about the consequences, but not prohibited.
“People who find it extremely difficult to describe how they feel are quite common today. Their resistance may increase when it is necessary to voice that negative emotions are directed at parents who successfully did not allow the person to do this before. Any attempts to object to my mother, for example, or to express myself were suppressed and condemned in every possible way. As a result, a fear of expressing emotions may develop, which, with long, systematic repetition, turns into a ban and a negative attitude. Parents themselves cut off their children’s wings, forbidding them to express themselves and want. First, interests are imposed by parents, later by school, then by work, etc.,” says Tatyana Balashova.
As a result, a person reaches a stage when he notes that he doesn’t want anything and is not interested in anything. At the same time, the person himself does not know whether this is normal and what to do about it. “It’s like a snowball, and people fall into it regardless of age. At risk of falling into this group are perfectionists and excellent students, as well as people with low self-esteem. It's normal if you sometimes have a bad mood, it appears from time to time and to some extent it is even useful. Blues and boredom can last for several days; they do not pose a danger to a person’s mental health. You can wait out a bad mood, collect your thoughts and move on with your life. But if this condition drags on for weeks, months, years, this is an alarming sign. Such a protracted condition can lead to apathy and clinical depression,” says Tatyana Balashova.
Apathy is a symptom expressed in complete indifference, indifference, and a detached attitude towards what is happening around. Just don’t confuse a bad mood with true psycho-emotional apathy. The difficulty is that at this stage the person is not interested in getting out of this state; he has a noticeable complete lack of motivation. But at the same time, apathy is a temporary state that tells a person that he needs to listen to himself, and not to the information noise. It is difficult to get out of such a situation, since the person does not understand where to move.
Our hearts demand change. Why is it necessary to leave your comfort zone? More details
Take an internet detox
In 1998, American psychologist Robert Kraut discovered the Internet Paradox that the more time a person spends on the Internet, the higher his risk of becoming depressed. About 25% of social network users are susceptible to Evolutionary Psychology and 'Facebook Depression', which occurs due to the fact that a person had to deal with bullying, insults or envy.
According to the American study If Facebook Use Causes Envy, Depression Could Follow, 58% of social network users, comparing their life with the posts of Internet friends, evaluate it negatively and feel like failures. Constantly looking back at others and reading posts about other people's achievements can greatly undermine your self-esteem. And this is hardly what is needed for a person who already has neither the strength nor the mood.
For a period of rest and restoration of resources, it may be worth giving up social networks. Or limit their use to the necessary minimum. The same applies to any “motivational” literature. It’s better to read about how to earn more and live brighter when you have the strength to do all this.
Try it
