Sadness (sadness) is one of the main emotional states. Together with joy, fear and anger, they form the core of the world of human emotions. Often the experience of sadness is associated with characteristic bodily sensations, behaviors or thoughts. We associate it with feelings of depression, reluctance to be active, and withdrawal from social life. It also sometimes happens that the intensity with which we feel sadness turns into physical complaints of a psychosomatic nature.
Sadness - when we experience it, it is usually accompanied by many unpleasant feelings. Sadness is often caused by situations we don't want to experience, so it seems natural to want to avoid or ignore them. Meanwhile, the natural counterbalance to sadness is joy, so desired these days.
It's good to be happy and full of energy. The world created by the media and rapidly changing cultural norms favors joy, and the pursuit of it becomes a priority. Then the feeling of joy becomes a “duty” and sadness is perceived as failure. We often think that if we don't feel happy, then we probably have some kind of problem. That the natural state should be joy and the emotions derived from it.
However, in order to be able to talk about inner balance, we need to experience the full range of emotions and strengthen our ability to distinguish and name the states that “flow” through us. It is the ability to experience and experience all emotions that makes our life complete. It's worth taking a break and looking at your own emotions. Find out what we really feel, maybe what we call sadness is actually anger, and what we call fear is actually sadness.
It often happens that during development we learn to respond to a stimulus with an emotion that does not suit us, but for some reason, even though it does not benefit us, we do it. There are times when each of us finds it difficult to name what we are feeling, and the emotions we experience are complex. Some segments of the population find it more difficult to regulate their emotions than others. Under their influence, they do and say things that negatively affect various areas of life, including complicating relationships, limiting daily activities, etc.
See also: Psychological violence
It is worth remembering that the world of emotions is complex. We do not feel one emotion, usually what we experience is a combination of different states of varying intensity.
Why do we feel sad?
What usually fills us with anxiety in connection with sadness is mainly the thoughts that accompany it: “How could this happen?”, “Why did she do this,” “Why did this happen to me?” Such thoughts are natural, but nevertheless, they are a factor that “pulls us down”, encouraging us to obsess over something, dragging us into a spiral of sadness. Then we often try to make sense of what happened, interpret the intentions of other people, not always correctly.
Trying to analyze the reasons and constantly thinking distracts us from the present moment, from what we could do for ourselves at this moment. Sadness can make you feel like things will never get better. Rumination causes us to relive our sadness over and over again, distancing us from what our body is really trying to tell us. It is important to be able to experience sadness. It’s one thing to wallow in sadness, and another to experience it carefully.
Usually at a certain moment we are dominated by some emotion, which is the leading reaction to some specific factor. The easiest way to understand the mechanism of the emergence and action of emotions is to compare it with a wave. An emotion arises as a reaction to a stimulus, its intensity increases, reaches a climax and begins to decline until it becomes relatively calm. The consequence of this wave can be various types of behavior and accompanying thoughts.
Sometimes it is these behaviors and thoughts that become the trigger for the next wave. It is important to remember that neither joy nor sadness can last indefinitely at maximum intensity. This can be valuable information, especially for those who feel that their sadness is so overwhelming that it will never go away, but also a cold shower for those who are trying to live in constant, all-encompassing joy.
Lack of initiative
In a state of chronic sadness, people rarely try to change the situation. They become apathetic and lacking initiative. A person can remain in a job that has not satisfied him for a long time. Such people often continue toxic relationships that only bring them unpleasant emotions. It is important to remember that as long as the negative situation continues, it is impossible to get out of the state of chronic sadness.
What does sadness give us?
It is very difficult to feel joy without feeling sad. It is these contrasts that make our mental life harmonious. It is worth developing openness to what we experience, what is really happening to us. It is sadness that is our body’s signal that something is wrong, that something needs to be changed. Perhaps the relationship we are in is heading in the wrong direction, the work we devote so much energy and time to is overstimulating us and needs to be balanced with longer recovery times. Or perhaps work-life balance in general is severely disrupted, and the sadness that accompanies it refuses to go away without any real change. Ignoring this warning signal, which is a gift from Mother Nature, does us no good.
We often treat sadness as a manifestation of our weakness, a lack, a signal that something is wrong with us. We forget that sadness can provide us with valuable information without getting in the way of our goals.
Sadness is often a reaction of our body not only to overexertion, but also to illness. It's worth making this an inspiration to slow down, take care of yourself and your health, and look at the needs that need to be met. Our well-being gives us a lot of valuable information, but it is up to us how to read it correctly and how to react to it. So the next time sadness appears suddenly, without warning, I encourage you to take a moment to consciously dwell in that sadness and try to understand what it is telling us, what is behind it.
It's not about over-celebrating sadness, but about accepting that it is there, being in it, and trying to understand what's behind the sadness. There is no need to deceive yourself that as a result of some training or therapy you will be able to control every emotion and every reaction to it. Usually, excessive discipline of emotions leads to their cutting off, and this has little to do with self-control and harmony. However, it is worth making a little effort to more consciously experience and respond to different states, while at the same time accepting the natural emotional rhythm that we experience.
See also: Stockholm syndrome. Love for the executioner
Sadness
Lifestyle changes
Chronic sadness is often accompanied by drastic changes in lifestyle. A person begins to wake up late because he has no motivation to wake up and get down to business. He may eat unhealthy foods, especially sweets. Psychologists call this “stress eating.”
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A person experiencing constant sadness is characterized by reduced physical activity. He stops going to the gym, doing morning exercises, and even going for walks. As a result, his body stops producing endorphins, which are otherwise called “hormones of joy,” and this aggravates sadness and melancholy.
How to deal with sadness?
Each of us experiences sadness differently, what causes sadness in us is different, and we respond to it differently. It's fair to say that there are as many methods as there are people, so it's worth trying a few before you find the one that's right for you and your needs. Pretending that sadness doesn't exist is not a cure for joy. It’s worth staying in the sadness for a while, taking a closer look and answering some questions:
- What is this sadness about?
- Where in the body does it feel like what we are experiencing is sadness?
- What is the reason for this sadness?
- What does she need in this situation?
- What would be useful for me now?
It's not about getting too caught up in your grief or constantly getting stuck in a spiral of unhappiness. But about allowing yourself to experience this emotion. When we try to consciously approach the feeling of sadness, it will be easier for us to return to balance. Sadness can be caused by a specific event, e.g. the loss of a loved one, a difficult relationship or health problem, then allowing yourself to experience this will allow you to process the grief or sense of loss.
Sadness is often valuable information that the body gives us. Neglecting your needs for too long, being chronically stressed, or being stuck in a difficult relationship often manifests itself as sadness. Sadness is a warning signal that should not be suppressed or ignored. The way to balance emotions is not to pretend that you are not sad, but to listen to the information that sadness brings and respond to it, to take care of the space in life that used sadness as a messenger.
Strengthening the ability to consciously feel sadness, rather than guessing the story associated with a specific sadness, can help reduce the anxiety associated with the feeling of sadness itself.
See also: ASPERGER'S syndrome - causes, symptoms, therapy
Sadness is an emotion that affects our body
There is also a strong interaction between emotions and the body. Our posture (sunken chest, drooping shoulders, etc.), tone of voice and facial expression are an expression of the sadness we have experienced. While reading emotional signals can be difficult, it is easier to notice symptoms coming from the body. Therefore, it is worth paying attention to your emotions when:
- strange, difficult to identify pains occur;
- our attitude begins to differ from usual;
- slow movements, avoidance of activity;
- lack of appetite or excessive desire to eat;
- lack of energy, prolonged feeling of fatigue for no apparent reason, etc.
Fortunately, the relationship between the body and emotions works on a feedback principle, so body work, movement therapy, etc. may be one way to return to balance.
While it's good to keep an eye on your sadness, it's worth paying attention to your joy for balance. Because after we have experienced sadness and “done the homework” that it has become for us, it can be helpful to strengthen the areas that help us feel happy. It's about finding the true sources of joy after experiencing sadness, and not pretending not to feel sadness by covering it up with joy.
I encourage you to discover what makes us happy, what promotes a sense of serenity and peace, and what causes euphoria. Perhaps we have not experienced conscious joy for so long that the answers to these questions are difficult to come by. Then I encourage you to experiment and do your own research. You may find that what used to be a source of joy was the company of friends, but now it might be exercise or regular meditation. There are many ways to restore balance after experiencing grief, and it is worth creating your own set of tools to use.
Constant pessimism
People with chronic sadness have a pessimistic outlook on life. They see only negative aspects in any situation and notice only bad character traits in others.
Chronic sadness is accompanied by a concentration of attention even on minor troubles. Such people tend to exaggerate negative aspects. They exaggerate the situation and assume the most unfavorable outcome.
Sadness and depression
Temporary low mood, sadness that comes and goes, is a natural experience for every person. Sadness that occurs as a consequence of a specific event, e.g. loss of a loved one, separation, etc. This is an adequate reaction of the body, and we should not worry about it. However, if the condition drags on, we cannot come to our senses, or it seems that it has arisen for no apparent reason, it is worth seeking advice from a specialist. Sadness is not the same as depression, but being under the influence of strong emotions makes it difficult to look at the situation soberly. Therefore, a conversation with a psychologist, psychotherapist or psychiatrist can help rule out illness, help restore balance and consider the mechanisms that accompany sadness.
Being withdrawn or overly sociable
Chronic sadness often makes a person withdrawn. He begins to avoid communication even with close friends and family, spending most of his time alone. In a sad mood, many people become silent. They have difficulty making contact with others.
There is another extreme, when a person, being in melancholy, is afraid of loneliness. He is afraid to be alone with his sad thoughts. Such people often and compulsively call old friends and are constantly looking for new acquaintances. If such sociability was not previously characteristic of a person, then this is a reason to be wary.
