7 effective strategies for dealing with conflict

Have you ever tried to find two absolutely identical people? Even if there are those who can answer this question in the affirmative, the likelihood that their search will be successful is very small, because there cannot be two identical people, just like two identical fingerprints or two identical irises. This is, perhaps, one of the reasons why conflicts arise between people from time to time.

And in order to be able to effectively resolve conflict situations, a person simply needs to know how to behave when they arise, i.e. be able to choose a manner of behavior that is most suitable for the characteristics of each specific situation. But many people always behave the same way during conflict interactions, having absolutely no idea that they can change the strategy of their behavior. It is about strategies for behavior in conflict that we will talk about today.

And you can learn how to find approaches to different people and establish connections in our online program “The Best Communication Techniques.”

But first, it is worth saying that one of the most prominent conflict experts, Kenneth Thomas, divided all types of behavior in conflict situations into two main areas - the desire of the subject of the conflict to defend his personal interests and the desire of the subject of the conflict to take into account the interests of other people. It is on the basis of these criteria that we can identify the main strategies of people’s behavior in conflict. There are five of them in total:

Rivalry
Device
Evasion
Compromise
Cooperation

We will, of course, consider them all. But while these five strategies are exhaustive for most jobs like this, we'll look at two more effective strategies. Namely:

Suppression
Negotiation

So, let’s not, as they say, use “airtime” unnecessarily, and let’s get down to the main topic of today’s article.

Rivalry

Rivalry is a type of behavior when a subject strives to satisfy his own interests, causing damage to the interests of the opposing subject. Following the presented strategy, a person is confident that only one participant can gain the upper hand in a conflict, and victory for one will always mean defeat for the other. A person who prefers competition will “push his line” in every way available to him. They will not take into account the opposite position.

Basic human actions with the “Competition” strategy

Tight control over your opponent's actions
Constant and deliberate pressure on an opponent by any means
The use of deception and tricks to create an advantage in one’s favor
Provoking your opponent to make mistakes and ill-considered steps
Reluctance to engage in constructive dialogue due to overconfidence

Pros and cons of the “Rivalry” strategy

Rigidly defending one's position can, of course, help the subject gain the upper hand in the event of a conflict. But such a strategy cannot be applied if the subsequent interaction of people involves long-term relationships, for example, joint work, friendship, love. After all, relationships can develop and generally have the right to exist only if the desires and interests of all people are taken into account, and the defeat of one will mean defeat for everyone. Therefore, if the person with whom you have a conflict is dear to you or the relationship with him is important to you for some reason, it is better not to use the strategy of competition to resolve the conflict.

Conflict situations with loved ones

Family and friends are the closest people, relationships with whom play an important role in our lives. Therefore, when disagreements arise, it is important to maintain good relationships with these people. Rivalry in such conflicts will be inappropriate. The most correct decision would be to compromise or start negotiations and satisfy the interests of all parties.

In some situations, it is better to remain silent, avoid a showdown (often the problem resolves itself), or choose an accommodation when the outcome of the conflict is extremely important for a loved one.

An environmental quarrel or how to resolve a conflict peacefully.

Device

Adaptation as a way of behavior in a conflict is characterized by the fact that the subject is ready to put his needs, desires and interests into the background and make concessions to the opponent in order to prevent confrontation. This strategy is often chosen by people with low self-esteem, insecure and who believe that their position and opinion should not be taken into account.

Basic human actions with the “Adaptation” strategy

Constant agreement with the opponent’s demands to please him
Active demonstration of a passive position
No claim to victory and resistance
Flattery, pandering to the opponent

Pros and cons of the Accommodation strategy

In the event that the subject of the conflict is not particularly important, and the main thing is to maintain constructive interaction, allowing the person to gain the upper hand, thereby asserting himself, can be the most effective way to resolve the conflict. However, if the cause of the conflict is something significant, something that affects the feelings of all people involved in the conflict, then such a strategy will not bring the desired result. In this case, the result will be only negative emotions of the one who made concessions, and all trust, mutual understanding and respect between the participants may completely disappear.

Avoidance

The essence of this strategy is that a person tries to do everything possible to postpone conflict and important decisions until later. With this strategy, a person not only does not defend his own interests, but also does not pay attention to the interests of his opponent.

Basic human actions with the “Avoidance” strategy

Refusal to interact with an opponent
Demonstrative withdrawal tactics
Refusal to use force
Ignoring any information from the opponent, refusing to collect facts
Denial of the importance and seriousness of the conflict
Deliberate slowness in decision making
Fear of making a retaliatory move

Pros and cons of the Avoidance strategy

The “Avoidance” strategy can be useful in a situation where the essence of the conflict is not particularly important or when there are no plans to maintain relations with the opponent. But here again: if a relationship with a person is important to you, then avoiding responsibility and shifting problems onto someone else’s shoulders will not resolve the situation, otherwise it threatens not only to worsen the situation, but also to deteriorate the relationship and even its final break.

Conflict situations at work

During the work process, colleagues often have misunderstandings both on work-related issues and as a result of personal disagreements.

Employee - employee

In conflict situations with colleagues of your rank, any of five strategies will be suitable, depending on the situation. But still, rivalry is best used as a last resort. If disagreements relate to work issues, it would be wiser to negotiate with your opponent to come to a compromise solution. It is important to express your point of view, since you and your opponent are on equal terms. Evasion and adaptation in most matters will not be justified.

To avoid conflicts related to personal relationships, it is important to remember that during working hours you need to primarily focus on fulfilling your duties, leaving personal communication for a while after work. Of course, personal communication is necessary, and it will be present in any case. But gossip and conversations on too personal topics should not be supported.

Compromise

Compromise is a partial satisfaction of the interests of all subjects of conflict interaction.

Basic human actions with the “Compromise” strategy

Focus on equality of positions
Offering your own options in response to your opponent’s offer of options
Sometimes using cunning or flattery to gain favor from an opponent
Striving to find a mutually beneficial solution

Pros and cons of the “Compromise” strategy

Despite the fact that compromise implies satisfaction of the interests of all subjects of conflict interaction, which, in fact, is fair, it is important to keep in mind that in most situations this strategy should be considered only as an intermediate stage in resolving the situation, preceding the search for the most optimal solution, completely satisfactory to the conflicting parties.

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Cooperation

By choosing a cooperation strategy, the subject of the conflict is determined to resolve the conflict in such a way that it is beneficial to all participants. Moreover, here the position of the opponent or opponents is not simply taken into account, but there is also a desire to ensure that their demands are satisfied as much as possible, as well as one’s own.

Basic human actions with the “Cooperation” strategy

Gathering information about the opponent, the subject of the conflict and the conflict itself
Calculating the resources of all participants in the interaction in order to develop alternative proposals
Open discussion of the conflict, the desire to objectify it
Consideration of opponent's proposals

Pros and cons of the Collaboration strategy

Cooperation is focused mainly on understanding the opposing position, paying attention to the opponent’s point of view, and finding a solution that suits everyone. Thanks to this approach, mutual respect, understanding and trust can be achieved, which best contributes to the development of long-term, strong and stable relationships. Cooperation is most effective when the subject of the conflict is important to all parties. However, it is important to note that in some situations it can be very difficult to find a solution that suits everyone, especially if the opponent is not cooperative. In this case, the “Cooperation” strategy can only complicate the conflict and delay its resolution indefinitely.

These are the five main strategies for dealing with conflict. As a rule, they are usually used in confrontations with other people. And this is quite justified, because... their effectiveness is undeniable. But, at the same time, other equally effective strategies, such as suppression and negotiations, can be used to resolve conflicts.

What is meant by a conflict situation?

A conflict situation is a lack of agreement between the parties, arising due to opposing values, interests, judgments and goals of the parties.

It is generally accepted that a conflict is necessarily accompanied by open opposition from its participants, quarrels, negative emotions, etc. But this is not always the case. The process of solving a problem and its outcome depend on the correctly chosen strategy of behavior.

Suppression

Suppression is used mainly if the subject of the conflict is not clear or if it has entered a destructive phase, i.e. has become a direct threat to the participants; and also when it is impossible to enter into an open conflict for any reason or when there is a risk of “falling face down in the mud”, losing authority, etc.

Basic human actions with the “Suppression” strategy

Targeted and consistent reduction in the number of opponents
Development and application of a system of norms and rules that can streamline relations between opponents
Creating and maintaining conditions that prevent or complicate conflict interaction between the parties

Pros and cons of the Suppression strategy

Effective suppression of conflict is possible if the essence of the conflict is not clear enough, because this will nullify the mutual attacks of opponents and protect them from senseless waste of their energy. Suppression can also be effective when continued conflict would cause serious harm to both sides. But when resorting to suppression, it is important to correctly calculate your strength, otherwise the situation may worsen and turn against you (if your opponent turns out to be stronger or has more resources). The issue of suppression should be approached by thinking through all the details.

Choosing the right strategy

Methods for resolving conflicts - what options exist, ways to prevent them

In a conflict situation, individual behavioral strategies produce different results. The choice of manner of action depends on the situation and the personal qualities of the person.

Rivalry

Suitable for:

When a person has authority, authority, or advantage over an opponent;
In the case of a built hierarchy of conflicting ones. For example, when one side of the dispute is the boss. Rivalry occurs when there is a younger and an older child in a family;
In critical situations, when a person has nothing to lose and has no other option but to compete.

Compromise

In what situations is it reasonable to use:

The desire of one of the conflicting parties is superficial. A person will not suffer much if he does not get what he wants;
When a decision allows you to at least partially get what you want, at a time when competition can leave you with nothing. According to this principle, parents compromise with the child;
If all parties to the conflict have equal powers;
When there is not enough time to develop another strategy. May be a temporary solution until the next negotiations.

Device

Which situations are suitable for:

When the goal is to establish calm, bring relationships back to normal;
In family quarrels, when a good attitude is more important than defending your opinion;
One of the conflicting parties is confident that he is right and understands that he will not suffer if he gives in;
One side does not have the opportunity to win the dispute. For example, a schoolchild or student cannot conflict with a teacher.

Cooperation

In what situations does it work:

When every point of view is important, but there is no way to find a compromise;
If both parties are committed to working together and are ready to listen to each other;
The parties to the conflict are relatives, friends, business partners who depend on each other.

Evasion

The strategy is used when:

One side of the conflict considers the cause of the quarrel insignificant;
A person knows for sure that he cannot win an argument;
The person in conflict does not have enough authority to defend his position;
The person plans to stall for time to develop further tactics to gain victory;
The dispute involves uneducated people, manipulators who can offend;
One side understands that at the moment, disputes will worsen the situation.

Man swears

Negotiation

Negotiation is one of the most common conflict resolution strategies. With the help of negotiations, both micro-conflicts (in families, organizations) and macro-level conflicts are resolved, i.e. conflicts on a global and national scale.

Basic human actions with the “Negotiations” strategy

Focus on finding a mutually beneficial solution
Stopping any aggressive actions
Showing attention to your opponent's position
Carefully consider next steps
Using an intermediary

Pros and cons of the Negotiation strategy

The Negotiation strategy allows the warring parties to find a common language without incurring any losses. It is very effective because... neutralizes aggressive confrontation and smoothes out the situation, and also provides the parties with time to think about what is happening and search for new solutions. However, if negotiations suddenly drag on for some reason, this may be perceived by either party as avoiding the conflict or unwillingness to solve the problem, which may lead to even more aggressive offensive actions.

You should choose a strategy for behavior in a conflict as thoughtfully, consciously, and taking into account the specifics of the situation itself. A correctly chosen strategy will give maximum results, while an incorrectly chosen one, on the contrary, can only aggravate the situation. Therefore, once again carefully study this material and try to apply the acquired knowledge in practice even in small things, because by learning to resolve small conflicts, you will be able to effectively influence large ones. And remember that it is best to prevent the emergence of a conflict situation than to eliminate an already “raging flame.”

Peace to your home!

We also recommend reading:

Storytelling
Negotiation Matrix
Conflicts and strategies for dealing with them
IBR Conflict Resolution Approach
Game theory: history and application
Mintzberg's 5 Ps Strategy for Business Strategy
Porter's Five Forces in Business
Eldred's Power Strategy
How to competently enter into conflict
How to Deal with Conflicts of Interest
Thomas Questionnaire for Behavior in Conflict

Key words:1Communication