Strategies for behavior in conflict - what methods exist

In everyday life, it is difficult to avoid conflict situations; they can appear at home or in the work team. Each person has his own character and temperament, some find it easier to make concessions, others will defend their point of view to the last. To avoid unpleasant situations and showdowns, you need to know how to behave with different people.

Two men at work

Types of behavior strategies in conflicts

The issue is studied by the sciences of social science and the discipline of conflictology. There are more than 100 meanings of the term “conflict”, some of them contradict each other. In general, we can say that conflict is an expression of discontent and contradictions that arise as a result of a difference of opinion.

Today, one of the most famous and widely used in conflict resolution is the work of Thomas-Killman. According to the concept, there are the following strategies for behavior in conflict:

1. rivalry;
2. compromise;
3. device;
4. cooperation;
5. evasion.

Rivalry

Rivalry is an attempt to impose your point of view and desired result on the opposite side. Personal interests come first, without taking into account the opinions of the opponent. This manner of behavior can only be used by people who have some power and advantage.

Note! According to the results of the Kenneth Thomas test, in more than 65% of cases people choose the principle of competition, and not always consciously.

Compromise

Compromise is behavior in conflict that involves resolving the dispute. Those in conflict are ready to partially renounce their beliefs in order to make a decision that equally satisfies both parties. By using this method, everyone loses something. The strategy makes sense when opponents have a common goal, the result of which is not divided in half, for example, the desire of 2 buyers to pick up the last product.

Found a compromise

Device

Accommodation is behavior in conflict that involves working together to solve a problem. Each puts his personal interests above the interests of his opponent, but one of the parties temporarily agrees with the opponent’s point of view in order to later receive concessions from him. Psychologists say that accommodation is often the main way to resolve disputes.

Cooperation

Cooperation is behavior in conflict where both parties find a joint solution that transforms enemies into partners. The main characteristic of cooperation is that the search for solutions must always satisfy both. This strategy can be used as an example of behavior with business partners.

Important! The cause of the conflict determines how appropriate it is to use a cooperative strategy. If the result is vital for one of the parties involved in the conflict, cooperation is impossible. Any attempts at interaction will develop into struggle or rivalry.

Evasion

Often the strategy is used when the conflict does not affect the interests of one or more parties. There are situations when they try to involve a third party in a dispute between two people, then avoidance can illustrate the person’s reluctance to enter into conflict.

Other Behavior Styles

In addition to the 5 common Thomas-Killman strategies, in psychology there are 2 more options for the development of events:

1. Suppression. It is permissible to use when the situation becomes aggressive and threatens human life or health. Suppression may be initiated by one of the parties or come from a third party. For example, when students argue in class, the third party is the teacher who suppresses the conflict;
2. Negotiation. They can take different forms: from family to state. The main function of negotiations is to reduce aggression and approach the problem rationally. All parties agree on further actions on mutually beneficial terms. As a result of negotiations, a transition to strategies of cooperation or compromise is possible.

At the negotiating table

How to find a compromise?

Compromise in psychology is an effective agreement between opposing parties, which is reached by them on a voluntary basis as a result of concessions from each of them.

In order to find a compromise it is necessary:

• enter into an open dialogue with the opposing side;
• listen carefully to your opponent;
• each party should behave respectfully and calmly (sarcasm, shouting, and swearing are unacceptable);
• put yourself in your partner’s place and advise him to do the same;
• express and defend your point of view in acceptable ways;
• be honest and open.

The result of such negotiations should be the finding of a common solution that would be more satisfactory to all parties to the conflict.

Choosing the right strategy

Methods for resolving conflicts - what options exist, ways to prevent them

In a conflict situation, individual behavioral strategies produce different results. The choice of manner of action depends on the situation and the personal qualities of the person.

Rivalry

Suitable for:

• When a person has authority, authority, or advantage over an opponent;
• In the case of a built hierarchy of conflicting ones. For example, when one side of the dispute is the boss. Rivalry occurs when there is a younger and an older child in a family;
• In critical situations, when a person has nothing to lose and has no other option but to compete.

Compromise

In what situations is it reasonable to use:

• The desire of one of the conflicting parties is superficial. A person will not suffer much if he does not get what he wants;
• When a decision allows you to at least partially get what you want, at a time when competition can leave you with nothing. According to this principle, parents compromise with the child;
• If all parties to the conflict have equal powers;
• When there is not enough time to develop another strategy. May be a temporary solution until the next negotiations.

Device

Which situations are suitable for:

• When the goal is to establish calm, bring relationships back to normal;
• In family quarrels, when a good attitude is more important than defending your opinion;
• One of the conflicting parties is confident that he is right and understands that he will not suffer if he gives in;
• One side does not have the opportunity to win the dispute. For example, a schoolchild or student cannot conflict with a teacher.

Cooperation

In what situations does it work:

• When every point of view is important, but there is no way to find a compromise;
• If both parties are committed to working together and are ready to listen to each other;
• The parties to the conflict are relatives, friends, business partners who depend on each other.

Evasion

The strategy is used when:

• One side of the conflict considers the cause of the quarrel insignificant;
• A person knows for sure that he cannot win an argument;
• The person in conflict does not have enough authority to defend his position;
• The person plans to stall for time to develop further tactics to gain victory;
• The dispute involves uneducated people, manipulators who can offend;
• One side understands that at the moment, disputes will worsen the situation.

Man swears

Concession

A person who adheres to this strategy also seeks to escape the conflict. But the reasons for “leaving” in this case are different. The focus on personal interests is low here, and the assessment of the opponent’s interests is high, i.e. a person who adopts a concession strategy sacrifices personal interests in favor of the interests of a rival.

The concession strategy has some similarities with the coercion strategy, which consists in choosing between the value of the subject of the conflict and the value of interpersonal relationships. Unlike the fight strategy, the concession strategy gives priority to interpersonal relationships.

When analyzing this strategy, it should be taken into account that:

· sometimes such a strategy reflects the tactics of a decisive struggle for victory. A concession here may turn out to be only a tactical step towards achieving the main strategic goal;

· a concession may cause an inadequate assessment of the subject of the conflict (underestimation of its value for oneself). In this case, the adopted strategy is self-deception and does not lead to resolution of the conflict;

· this strategy can be dominant for a person due to his individual psychological characteristics. In particular, this is typical for a conformist personality, a conflict personality of a “conflict-free” type. Because of this, the concession strategy can give a constructive conflict a destructive direction.

It is important to keep in mind that the concession strategy is justified in cases where the conditions for resolving the conflict are not ripe. In this case, it leads to a temporary truce and is an important step towards a constructive resolution of the conflict situation.

Advantages of passive and active strategies

How to manipulate people - can this be learned, methods of influence

Rivalry is a manifestation of activity. The main advantage is that a person can defend his point of view and achieve the desired result. When choosing this strategy, you need to be aware that relations with your opponent may deteriorate. Rivalry is appropriate in relations between management and subordinates, between employees, but not in family matters.

Compromise, accommodation, cooperation and avoidance are passive ways of behaving in interpersonal conflict. The main advantages are the ability to maintain human relationships and partially achieve the goal. The strategies are appropriate to use in business, among family and friends.

What it is

If we take into account the French word “compromis” and the Latin word “compromissum”, then the term compromise should be interpreted as “ an agreement, a mutual promise ”.

In the Russian form, the most accurate description of this word was given by the famous ethnographer and writer of the 9th century V.I. Dahl, who gained worldwide fame after creating an explanatory dictionary of the Russian language, unsurpassed in its volume. He created a concise and easy to understand definition of what compromise is. This outstanding figure said that:

a compromise is nothing more than mutual concessions, a deal, an agreement.

Wikipedia and many other authoritative sites also give a clear definition of the concept.

Compromise is a method by which the parties are able to resolve a conflict situation that has arisen between them.

In other words, these are mutual concessions that opponents (who are they?) make in order to achieve certain goals that are of interest to both parties.

Behavior in conflict at work

How to overcome fear and phobias yourself - ways to fight

Behavior in a situation that arises in the workplace directly depends on status and position. If superiors can command and suppress, for subordinates the chosen strategy may result in a reprimand or dismissal.

If disagreements in the workplace escalate into conflict, you need to take control of your emotions. The first thing to do is to evade, try not to get into arguments. The opponent can use provocations, the main thing is not to lose control of himself.

Man meditating

What to do if control over emotions is lost? As a reminder, you need to learn the rules of behavior in a conflict situation:

• Do not raise your voice at your opponent, even in response;
• Try to determine for yourself the cause of the conflict, the positions and goals of both parties;
• If there is no clear goal, the interlocutor tries to insult for no reason, the best option is to ignore the attacks;
• If there is a reason why a conflict broke out, it is necessary to seek a compromise. As a last resort, adapt and make concessions, especially for newcomers to the team;
• If a person feels that he is not ready to argue and prove his opinion, he should try to postpone the conversation.

Important! The main goal of the manipulator is to cause anger and negativity in order to realize himself at the expense of other people’s emotions. You can’t delve into what you hear, you need to let the information pass you by.

Is it possible to avoid conflict?

It is not always possible to control your behavior in a serious conflict; this skill needs to be learned. Among those arguing, there must be at least 1 person who will try to avoid conflict. How to do it:

• Do not rush. Before expressing your opinion, you need to ask yourself questions: “Why are we arguing? Do I need this? What will I lose if I give in?”;
• Answer slowly and briefly. The faster a person speaks, the more likely he is to say too much. Measured speech will calm the opponent, after which you can try to find a compromise;
• Do not provoke with unnecessary phrases or inappropriate jokes. There is no need to touch a person if he is not in a good mood. It is better to set aside time after the lunch break to communicate with colleagues; communication can be tense in the first half of the day;
• To avoid conflict at work, you need to monitor your correspondence. Modern people often use messengers and social networks. You cannot write unnecessary things, show emotions, they can later be used by provocateurs;
• Limit communication with the provocateur. If a person provokes conflicts, you need to reduce communication with him to a minimum, do not cross paths after work or study, and do not be in public places in the same company.

A girl calms two people down

What strategy to use in a conflict is a personal decision for everyone. Depending on his position in society, point of view and ultimate goal, the person himself chooses the path of competition or seeks a compromise. If possible, it is better to avoid conflict situations, especially if they arise between close people.

Why is everything so difficult?

So, compromise is a type of complex communication. It would be logical if the ability to communicate with other people were taught starting from school age and continued beyond that. Alas, this does not happen. Rather, the existing parenting system involves forceful resolution of conflicts, often considering compromise to be a manifestation of weakness.

Compromise cannot always be considered the best form of resolving disputes. But this is one of the working ways to at least not make this situation worse.

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