People often make mistakes because of their intolerance. In any situation you need to remain calm. Take a few deep breaths and count slowly to ten. After all, it is very easy to commit a rash act, but it is difficult to smooth it over. Let's look at theoretical and practical tips on how to learn patience, gain positive character traits, and much more.
What is patience?
It refers to good qualities that allow you to calmly, judiciously, without any nervous outbursts or hysterics, withstand and overcome any adversity in life.
The opinion of many that it gives rise to inaction and powerlessness is erroneous. This is a deep misconception. It is important to distinguish between the two sides of the term. One is characterized by the ability to wait, without losing hope of achieving a goal, and not to rush around, committing rash acts. This is where the strength lies.
But the opposite demonstrates the inability to withstand adversity. A person endures all insults and humiliations, completely submitting to the current problem. This is a sign of weakness.
You can talk about healthy patience only if you have a goal. And then it will be reasonable to endure in order to move towards it and achieve it. Otherwise it is absurd submission. We will figure out how to learn patience and restraint.
Only successful people achieve success!
This suggests that you need to set a goal and achieve it. Motivation will help. Think about the benefits you will get from learning self-restraint. So:
- There is no need to strive to conquer great peaks. Start small.
- Never stop halfway. Bring the matter to completion by any means, just not illegal, of course.
- Don’t despair if something doesn’t work out, don’t give up, try again and again.
- Do not be too strict with your own personality, do not scold for wrongdoing. Learn to be patient with yourself first.
- If it has completely dried up, count to ten and back.
- Try to distract yourself by thinking about pleasant things. Let's say about your upcoming vacation or what you'll cook for dinner, how you'll spend the weekend.
And most importantly, do not forget that learning patience will not happen quickly. This will require a lot of time and effort.
How to “negotiate” with your emotions and stop suppressing them
Emotions are one of the most important inventions of evolution. Each feeling has a specific function, but the most important thing is that with the help of emotions we express our attitude towards something. When we are irritated or angry. What does this tell us?
Our subconscious mind tells us that we are not satisfied with the current situation. For this, our consciousness can only say “thank you.” Now I understand that I don't like standing in this line. Only this feeling of gratitude will help reduce irritation from the current situation. You took the signal, accepted it with a smile and understanding.
If you're going somewhere where you expect to spend time queuing, tell yourself in advance - I know I don't like standing in line. I remember this, you don’t have to remind me. The next step is how can I use this unpleasant situation for me? Read a book? Reply to letters? Listen to your favorite music? Work?
Live with peace in your soul
It is necessary to accept any situation that happens to you, and also live in harmony with yourself and the world. For example, a person gets sick. He can only be healed if he accepts and understands the illness. It is important to understand why he came into his life, what needs to be corrected. Same with other unfavorable incidents. Until you accept it, unfortunately, nothing will be fixed. We continue to understand the question of how to learn humility and patience.
When calmness comes in your soul, and you realize that the situation does not bother or irritate, does not bring pain, humility has set in. And in no case should you assume that humility and acceptance are weakness. These internal qualities help you take the right actions on the external level.
Use a schedule to structure your day
Inefficient use of time can prevent you from finding a comfortable step that suits you.
The schedule you stick to can provide the structure you need to make better use of the time you have.
When we don't set aside enough time for the various things we need to do, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and rushed.
This, in turn, fuels our impatience. You may feel like you constantly need to do something right now, in this moment, because you simply don't have the time.
Your own mind betrays you, urging you to do things now, now, now, because you may not have time to do them later.
A schedule can help you better organize and smooth out the entire process of getting things done, reduce your stress levels, and also get rid of the looming need to constantly be busy working on tasks.
- Life plan in 7 steps and why you need it
- Goal Setting: A System for Improving Results
How to learn patience in a relationship?
The whole problem is that the desired picture of a loved one does not coincide with reality. The idealized image and actions are different from those in reality. And what happens next? I want to correct the second half, they say, then everything will change and everything will be fine. Unfortunately, the root of the problem often lies within ourselves. You need to start with yourself and change your attitude towards your loved one.
We are responsible for what happens to us in life. And each situation is given not as a punishment, but as a lesson. You should learn from the experience and move on, never looking back. So, to the recommendations:
- There needs to be a change in thinking. Learn to direct your thoughts to develop patience.
- Control yourself when you need to be patient. Pay attention to how you react to the current situation. This is to see how you perceive problems of this kind. If you accept it internally, it means that difficulties in love relationships are not scary.
- Impatience creates unfulfilled expectations. How to learn patience with a man? Don't think about how it should be. Often life situations cannot be changed; they must be accepted. For example, my husband never puts dirty dishes in the sink. Think that he shouldn’t, but it would be nice if he cleaned up the dirty rags from the table, and then this problem will become a secondary problem that will not require constant patience.
- Have an internal dialogue. When you feel on edge when talking to your spouse, tell yourself to be patient and listen.
- Relationships are a two-person job. And your opinion is part of the shared love canvas.
- Speak. Feel free to bare your thoughts, share your feelings and experiences. Communication is the key to solving all problems.
- Be alone with your thoughts. Learn patience on your own. Look at the relationship from the outside and think about when you can be patient.
And the main thing is to understand that only by joining forces in working together to preserve relationships can you learn restraint.
Where does the desire to receive “everything at once” come from?
“But advertising and modern life do not affect everyone in this way,” someone may object. Many people still remain reasonable and calm, able to make informed and thoughtful decisions even under the influence of aggressive marketing or the influence of cinema. Yes, of course, impulsiveness is also about character. And where there is character, there is upbringing and environment. What character traits are most likely to provoke a lack of patience even in small things?
- Perfectionism. This character trait is one of the most important characteristics of an impulsive person. “Get everything at once”, “do it either perfectly or not at all” - this is all about perfectionists. Hence the attempts to satisfy any desire instantly, and the difficulties in new projects. After all, in few areas you can get an ideal result right away. In any direction, you must first carefully study the equipment, and then practice long and hard to achieve success. Hence the love of perfectionists to quit in the middle, after they failed to receive the usual positive reinforcement from successfully completing a task.
- Spoiled. Children who were allowed everything, whose wishes were instantly satisfied, find it very easy to transfer their way of thinking and behavior into adulthood. Only now it’s not the parents who will have to satisfy all the desires. And now, having gone online and wanted to buy a new bike, it will be very difficult for such a grown child to resist the desire to go and buy it right now.
- Excessive emotionality. Many of us probably have such friends. There are always a lot of them, they literally gush with ideas and proposals. Such people also need to be careful not to fall into the trap of self-indulgence.
- Background anxiety. Often, the situation is already such that a person fulfills his slightest whims, just so as not to increase his own anxiety. Delayed resolution of any issues causes literally excruciating discomfort in them. This may apply to waiting for some purchases, or to the inability to instantly solve problems at work or with a partner.
Let's look at several effective ways
Only by showing restraint will it be possible to create high-quality and strong bonds. We will give tips on how to learn patience in a relationship with a man. So:
- Get to know your partner better, his strengths and weaknesses, character. He should not be viewed solely as a sexual object.
- Accept your flaws. So that they do not become a subject of contention, it is necessary to come to terms with them, because there are no ideal people. Allow your chosen one to remain himself, without trying on the masks of an idealized man.
- Be honest with him. Only by knowing the root of the problem can you find a compromise and have the patience to solve it.
- Selflessness and understanding are the path to patience. You need to not only be able to speak, but also listen to your partner. You may not agree with his opinion, but you need to listen.
- Stay calm while the man is throwing lightning bolts. Give him the opportunity to let off steam, don't respond with aggression.
- Instead, after the outburst of his emotions, spend time together in silence. Take a silent walk holding hands around the square.
- Find compromises. Learn to build a calm and competent dialogue, defend your opinion and create your own conditions in order to reach a consensus.
How to learn patience and calmness? You need to be a team, make decisions together. Common interests will help to unite, for example, doing fitness, or some exciting game.
How should a woman behave?
To create a strong family, it is necessary to make maximum efforts on both sides, of course. But now we'll talk about some lady tricks. So:
- You can’t become his “mommy.”
- Don't sacrifice your own interests.
- Do not idealize your lover for his possible achievements and virtues.
You should not be responsible for the other half and dissolve in it completely, forgetting about yourself. It is necessary to remain an individual, strive for self-realization and only then help others. No, of course, it is necessary to take care of your other half, but this should not turn into obsessive care. So, now we know how to learn patience in a relationship with a man. Summarize.
How to develop this quality?
Let us finally give you some more advice:
- Start slowly counting to yourself to ten, pronouncing each number well when your patience runs out. Even if you don’t change your mind about making your prepared speech, it will have a different emotional coloring.
- Attend psychologists, yoga and meditation courses.
- Always bring any task to the end.
- Practice breathing exercises, starting with mastering one exercise every morning, so that it brings joy and does not turn into a tedious obligation.
- Praise and pamper yourself for the results achieved.
Also, to develop patience, find an activity that requires attentiveness, perseverance, and painstaking work. For example, beadwork, assemble car models, puzzles, and you will definitely succeed.
What does endurance depend on?
Before answering the question of how to develop patience, it is important to understand what character traits such a skill depends on.
Adequate perception of opportunities. Many people tend to overestimate their potential. Why persist so much? Admitting your mistake is sometimes the best solution.
1. The ability to move forward. An uncontrollable person stops as soon as the puzzles stop adding up. The stubborn one shows willpower, tries again and again... He will try until he can find the answer.
2. The ability to do quality work. Irresistible people often work according to the principle of just falling behind. In this case, it’s worth looking at your work from the outside. If you were the manager, how would you evaluate the result?
3. The ability to wait. For some people, waiting drives them to despair. And this is a mistake and stress for the body. If nothing can be changed in a specific situation, it is worth developing the attitude: everything has its time. You just need to use your willpower and be patient.
