How to learn to enjoy life - advice from psychologists

Some people enjoy their lives to the fullest, but most of us still don't understand how to enjoy life. Such people are constantly working on something and rarely rest, forgetting that life is not only problems and daily routine. And there are many wonderful opportunities in it that we simply do not notice.

For me personally, it’s not enough to just exist, even if it’s on a beautiful tropical island. I know that I like to succeed in life and I get joy and pleasure from it. I just don't understand people who spend their days not thinking about what will happen tomorrow. They do not strive for anything, but simply live their lives in a boring and dull state. But, fortunately, there are people who know how to enjoy life. And it seems to me that it was my generation that made happiness part of our social culture.

Auditory channel of perception - hearing

The ability to listen and hear, to distinguish timbre.
Also directly related to hearing is the ability to speak, human speech. In fact, we perceive sound vibrations not only with our ears, but also with our whole body. Therefore, by closing our auditory perception, we thereby close ourselves off from life as a whole.

Often people ask again, and not because they don’t hear, it’s just that such a person’s attention is scattered, he doesn’t know how to manage it. Typically, hearing loss occurs in situations where they shout or say something unpleasant or painful.

Typically, hearing loss occurs in situations where they shout or say something unpleasant or painful.

Hearing problems also arise due to rejection, stubbornness, and the desire to isolate oneself from the world.

This is how children’s ears hurt (otitis media) when there is noise in the house and they often quarrel.

Volunteering

Helping people is very rewarding. Consider spending some of your time uplifting others through service. This could be tutoring, helping at a shelter, donating clothes, or taking out a neighbor's trash.

When you shift your focus from your problems and help others, you will feel a new sense of purpose and joy. Volunteering can allow us to stop dwelling on the negativity in our lives and use that energy to lift people up. When we do something for others, we not only feel joy, but we also pass it on to others.

Treatment of depression

If your mood is very low, it is important not to postpone your visit to a specialist, but to seek help in a timely manner. At the first meeting, the specialist will conduct a psychological diagnosis, after which he will determine the necessary methods of psychological assistance.

It is very difficult, and sometimes impossible, to get rid of depression on your own, since special psychological defense mechanisms operate in the human psyche that do not allow a sober assessment of the situation, understanding the causes of the problem, or looking at the circumstances objectively. Our psyche is created in such a way that it distorts the perception of reality in a certain way, based on our upbringing, experience, habits and stereotypes.

It is important to know that traditionally in medical institutions all types of depression are treated with psychotropic drugs. In the case where depression is caused by psycho-emotional reasons (and this is the overwhelming number of requests), this approach has proven itself to be ineffective, because the very reason for the development of the disorder is not eliminated, but only the external manifestations of depression are artificially muffled

As a result, some time after the end of treatment, depression returns again. In addition, the use of psychotropic drugs entails side effects. Therefore, in addition to taking medications (antidepressants), qualified psychotherapy is very important.

Be silly and unleash your inner child

As we get older, we become more cynical and lose sight of our inner child and the ability to be silly and have fun. But the key to staying connected to the experience of joy is to remind us of our youthful spirit. Sometimes we have to ride a roller coaster, roll down a grassy hill, or sleep over like we did as children to feel pure bliss. Letting go of any rigidity that comes with growing up from time to time can help us get rid of sadness and truly enjoy ourselves.

What actions should you take?

First of all, you just need to start doing the previously planned things and not think that everything is bad. At the initial stage, you can do them mechanically. It’s okay, over time the right mood will come and it won’t seem like everything is bad. You can write down on a piece of paper all the things that need to be solved or implemented, and do them one after another.

It’s better not to think too much about how you will do it, or about possible difficulties, etc. It will be good if a large number of tasks can be accommodated in a small time period. This way, you will not have the opportunity to be depressed about anything. Active activity will bring a person out of such a depressive state, he will forget what apathy towards life is, learn to appreciate every moment and enjoy it. The main thing is to force yourself to start.

Making time for “healthy inactivity”

This advice is a continuation of the previous one. Work and hobbies play an important role in life. But in addition to this, it is also worth finding time for “healthy inactivity.”

It is important to set aside moments every day for idleness, during which you can free your brain from thoughts, thus relieving the nervous system.

There are many ways to “mess around.” Some meditate, others throw and catch a ball. Some people simply walk, paying attention to the structural features of the trees and the patterns of clouds in the sky.

Read: how to become kinder and what you need for this

Captured by stereotypes: why are we sad on holidays?

Many of us notice how sad it becomes on the eve of the New Year or Birthday. The pre-holiday blues have a number of reasons:

• Awareness of the transience of time;
• Round date threshold;
• Disappointment in one's own achievements by this period of life;
• Longing for the “good old” days when the trees were taller and the grass was greener;
• A past in which holidays were accompanied by scandals;
• The absence of a person nearby with whom pleasant emotions are associated;
• Fears for the future.

Why do we fall into pre-holiday depression? This is a consequence of an incorrect psychological program downloaded into us many years ago.

As children, we were taught the attitude “we should be happy on holidays.” At first, it did not contradict reality. Magic, goodies, surprises, gifts, cheerful children's laughter and the comfort of home. However, with age, our faith in miracles declines significantly, and the conditions for creating an atmosphere of joy no longer guarantee the notorious “happy ending.” And life situations never adapt to a calendar date that is convenient for you. The holiday can be ruined by a quarrel, separation, loneliness or illness. And you are amazed: so many plans, and here there is such disappointment. Against the backdrop of unjustified expectations, the bitterness of realizing that everything turned out exactly like this intensifies significantly. Adding fuel to the fire is general merriment, holiday TV shows, couples in love carrying valentines and others whose lives turned out much more successfully on this day.

Find joy within yourself

Our mind is often sad. Sometimes the suffering is very intense and debilitating: we experience despair, hatred, or depression. Quite often these feelings are strong, but not so debilitating - greed, fear, remorse, anxiety, envy, anger. And very often, even in the absence of acute sadness, we are tormented by its less perceptible varieties - mild anxiety, excitement. By using gentleness and strength in one breath, we temporarily release sadness, and this progress is marked by a burst of joy. Such relief and joy are available to us from the first attentive breath. This is the shortest meditation. With practice, joy will increase in both depth and duration.

Read also: Fashionable colors in clothes of the year

Based on the book "Joy from Within"

Psychological techniques for overcoming apathy

The apathetic state has many nuances. There is no one recipe for overcoming everyone. To find out how to overcome apathy, you should choose a method for yourself. What may help one will not help another. The general methodology includes the steps below.

Eliminating the cause of indifference and sadness

It is recommended to change either the situation itself, which caused sadness and indifference, or change the attitude towards this problem. The reasons may be overwork at work, a conflict situation in the family, lethargy due to a busy daily routine without rest.

Short or long rest

Most often, the fight against apathy should consist of the correct ability to rest. Rebooting allows you to avoid fatigue. Walking, music, drawing, and reading are suitable for relaxation.

Choose yourself

How to cope with apathy if rest does not help, and positive techniques only irritate? It's worth trying to learn to live for yourself. Choose time in the day to live your own life. This will help cope with the feeling of duty and living for others. It is the loss of oneself that is often the cause of apathy.

Conquer Fear

When was the last time you felt the thrill of taking a leap of faith or conquering an activity that scared you? The feeling of joy that comes from knowing that you have completed something you have been hesitant about is very satisfying. It can be scary to go on a blind date or give a presentation at work, but once you get through it, you'll feel so much joy. Even solving a crisis can cause this feeling.

Overcoming fear is when we discover how resilient we are. When difficult times are followed by winning moments, we prove our ability to overcome adversity and achieve success.

How to bring joy back into your life

First you need to find out what reasons provoked the appearance of anhedonia. Treatment will depend on this.

If the lack of positive emotions is caused by fatigue, then the best solution would be to reconsider the number of your responsibilities. Some household chores can be entrusted to household members. The daily routine should include mandatory time for rest. At least 20-30 minutes dedicated only to yourself.

How to find joy in life if you are used to remembering only the negative? You should start carefully monitoring your words and thoughts, stop complaining

Train yourself to look for the positives in any event and focus on them.

It is easier to survive a difficult life situation by communicating with other people. Don't isolate yourself. Go visit friends or make an appointment with a psychologist, psychotherapist or group gestalt therapy session.

Finding Joy in Life: General Recommendations

A happiness bank is a great way to remember joyful moments. Get a special box (jar, casket). As soon as something good happens, write it down on a piece of paper and put it in your piggy bank. The next time the blues set in, re-read the notes (or at least look at the number of them).

Eat more foods that improve your mood: dark chocolate, nuts or fatty fish, bananas, hot peppers. And it is better to avoid alcohol, coffee and sweets, because they give the opposite result.

Try positive affirmations and meditations for happiness. Start and end your day with a smile to yourself. At first it will seem stupid, but the result will not be long in coming.

Create artificial stress. Sign up for a rock climbing or parkour class, or go on your entire vacation away from civilization (for example, to a remote village or yoga camp). Any extreme and unusual activity for you is suitable.

Play sports. It’s not for nothing that they say: “A healthy mind in a healthy body!” This will help improve your physical well-being, raise your self-esteem, and break up your established routine.

What to do if you can't manage your symptoms at home? It is better to consult a doctor immediately.

Physical exercise

Regular exercise is the best method to combat negative moods. This happens because it is a general loss of strength that provokes poor emotional well-being.

In turn, loss of strength is often caused by a person’s poor physical shape. He gets tired faster and becomes more tired. With modern rhythms of life, it is extremely important to try to constantly keep your body in good shape.

Plus, regular sports activities (visits to the gym at least 2 times a week for 1.5-2 hours) contribute to psychological relief:

• firstly, take a break from work;
• secondly, achieve the release of serotonin - the hormone of happiness - in the most natural way.

How to overcome “happiness inflation”

It is imperative to fight back against despondency. Otherwise, for the rest of your life you will deprive yourself of a large share of joy that could paint your world in bright, colorful colors. To regain the joyful anticipation of a miracle and get true pleasure from the process, urgently change your usual way of life.

Put down the TV!

More and more people are staying away from mass festivities on New Year's Eve and celebrating the holiday tete-a-tete with TV. Then they just go to bed, like 364 times before. What's wrong with that, you ask? The fact is that devaluing holidays and ignoring them turns life into a series of monotonous days that are no different from each other. Get rid of “Groundhog Day” urgently! Be willing to get involved in the pre-holiday bustle, take an active part in preparing, choosing gifts, and coordinating the menu. Do it even with force. Gradually you will feel how the bright energy of the holiday is transmitted to you. The main thing is to start. It works.

The magic of a gift

Holidays are needed so that we receive positive emotions. Gifts are an integral part of every celebration. You probably deserve them, so on holiday allow yourself to enjoy the good thing you dreamed of or dinner in a luxurious restaurant. And the best gift, of course, is travel. This is a kind of reboot that will help change your negative attitude towards the holidays once and for all. And remember, giving gifts is no less pleasant than receiving them. You will feel a sense of reverence if you contribute to support a charitable foundation or simply give a gift to someone dear to your soul.

Holidays with or without occasions

In order to please yourself and your loved ones with pleasant surprises, you don’t have to wait for calendar celebrations. Create your own holidays. Let them become a good tradition for your family and friends. Try on the role of a fun organizer and plan the event so that it becomes a real fairy tale for all participants

And it doesn’t matter what your holidays are dedicated to. The main thing is that these days you will receive a charge of positive emotions from your loved ones, and what could be more important?

Feel the value of what is happening

Unfortunately, we take all the good things we have for granted. There are so many people in the world who do not have the opportunity to rejoice carefree and from the heart. These are residents of distressed countries, residents of orphanages, hospices, nursing homes, and patients in hospital departments. But what prevents us from rejoicing, healthy and well-fed, living in warmth and kindness? By devaluing our resources, we thereby devalue life itself. Let it be bright and rich. Bring into it notes of frivolity, childishness and naive faith in miracles. You have everything for this.

Holidays are inherently absurd because they often contradict each other. But not noticing them is harmful to the soul. They help us remain children regardless of age. They take us out of routine everyday life, transport us to reality, where everything is good, pleasant and joyful. Holidays heal us. Do not refuse the opportunity to be cured with joy, it is the best medicine!

When "everything is bad"

People have a negative bias, a tendency in the mind to focus on the bad - because it is easier to understand the problem and solve it.

To maintain that same emotional balance, you can learn to shift your focus. And it's not that simple. A person’s emotions are influenced by his perception of the situation, which can be distorted: some tend to exaggerate or downplay the significance of an event, some rush to conclusions, and some take any statements personally. Because of such distortions, emotions may not correspond to the situation.

• There are three colleagues - Katya, Masha and Dima. They were called to the next office to celebrate Vova’s birthday. Katya thinks: “Cool! I’ll go congratulate the person and chat with everyone” - she rejoices at the opportunity to communicate with other people and share Vova’s holiday.
• Masha thinks: “Well, that means I’ll have to eat cake. Okay, then we'll eat vegetables for dinner. I just wanted stewed cabbage,” she’s glad that she figured out how to enjoy it now and what to do with herself at home.
• Dima thinks: “But we were just celebrating someone’s birthday! I have a lot of work to do, I just concentrated, and now I need to go waste time. Because of them, I always don’t get anything done,” he became upset and angry because he couldn’t refuse.
• And Vova sees a dissatisfied Dima and thinks: “He’s the one who’s angry with me, I need to try to cheer him up,” he feels guilty before Dima.

The situation itself was neutral, but everyone reacted differently.

Irina, 32:

“I had everything that friends and parents considered a sign of success: a husband, two children, work as a publisher in Moscow, frequent travel, many acquaintances.

One day I was invited to be a speaker at an international conference of book publishers. But instead of joy, I felt fear and shame for deceiving everyone. My achievements did not seem significant enough to share with others.

Then I noticed that I was not happy with my small achievements, that I only noticed large and complex goals. I constantly challenged myself, and when I achieved them, I didn’t feel the happiness I expected, I got upset and set myself a new challenge.

I went to a psychologist and asked for help to learn to enjoy any achievements and not feel tired and disappointed. Now I understand that I was simply running away from sadness and asking to be taught not to feel emotions.

I go to psychotherapy, work with beliefs, learn to notice emotions and feel sorry for myself. And it's still difficult for me. I’m used to the fact that you can just take it and do it - well, big deal, I don’t want to, but it has to be done!

Six months later, I began to value myself more. I still sometimes feel like I’m a bad specialist, but I already know how to notice this and support myself.

There are many ways to learn to please yourself. For convenience, we have divided them by difficulty.

Why have we lost our happiness?

It would seem that everything is there for happiness: a house is full, a prestigious job, a car is not cheap, but the most important thing is missing - the feeling of this very happiness. You remember that room in the dorm during your student years and you understand that it was then that you were truly happy in it.

And how proud I was after purchasing my first used car! Nowadays, the joy of buying a class “A” car is completely wiped out by spending on its maintenance, as a result, the joy of ownership itself fades into the background. To regain the ability to experience pleasure in every moment you live, you first need to understand the reasons. Here are the main ones.

Money dependence

Modern media impose false stereotypes that there is a direct connection between the amount of money and pleasure. In other words, the more money you can spend on certain benefits, the happier your life will be.

So the illusion settles in our minds that possessing objects of desire will make us happy. In life, big money and opportunities mean big worries - in connection with this, the joy of possession does not bring pleasure. Plus, the feeling of envy towards those who are more successful and wealthy prevents you from enjoying life.

Expectation-reality

How did our mothers and grandmothers raise us? Be sure to study well, then go to college, have a prestigious job, and finally get married and have a child. Again, established stereotypes!

So it turns out that if everything did not go according to plan, then a person begins to doubt himself and his abilities. Let’s say your family life didn’t work out or, conversely, you got pregnant in your first year and didn’t continue your studies; in the end, disappointment is inevitable.

Perfectionism

The desire to do everything perfectly, to be ahead of the rest in everything will ruin the life of anyone. It is worth noting that perfectionists have inflated demands not only on themselves, but also on others. Any mistake or failure, and a person begins to reproach himself or take out his dissatisfaction on loved ones. And this inevitably leads to collapse on a psychological level.

Suppressed emotions

A person can experience a lot of negative emotions: pain, anger, irritation, anxiety, resentment, hatred (the list goes on and on). At the same time, he may not say anything, but experience the situation within himself. Why is this unnecessary worry? Live the situation, cry if necessary, but continue to live.

Toxic people

Agree that a person’s environment plays an important role in his life. But what should you do if there are “parasitic people” nearby who are draining your energy, trying to shift their problems onto your shoulders? You, in turn, fearing to seem like a selfish and callous person, make every effort, but do not receive any gratitude for it.

Communication with such people promises not only constant irritation and poor health, but also a loss of joy in life.

Health problems

It is impossible to experience joy if you are in pain. Whether it's a toothache, a sore throat, or just a bruised finger.

This is why it is so important to take care of your health from an early age. Man is a rational being, but this very reason in terms of health sometimes turns on around the age of 40–50, when you have to deal with the consequences of a stormy youth

That is why all conversations about proper nutrition and a healthy lifestyle should be taken seriously and preferably as early as possible. This is the key to feeling great and, as a result, high spirits.

Remind yourself of your “why”

Sometimes simply remembering what you are striving for will help you get out of an unpleasant rut. Try to think about how you got to where you are today and what matters most to you. Focusing on what excites you about your chosen career, the reasons you joined the gym, or what pushed you to finally explore a new city will bring joy back into your life. By keeping your “why” first and staying focused, you will constantly feel inspired and inspired to keep going.

Pamper your body and your soul will thaw

Bodily pleasures can be an excellent therapy for apathy. To do this, turn everyday procedures into a pleasant ritual. The simplest things that we often do in a hurry can give moments of genuine joy. For example, peeling: there is so much pampering and sensuality in treating the body with a fragrant scrub! The same can be said about Ayurveda’s favorite ritual of oiling, for which any slightly warmed oil is suitable (you can take olive oil and add a few drops of essential oil to your taste). It makes sense to take a course of oil massage or several sessions of stone therapy - massage with heated stones. During such procedures, we focus on our sensations and learn to enjoy touch and tactile contact. The body relaxes, unnecessary thoughts go away along with tension. We take care of ourselves - and this gives us confidence!

There are times when sadness just rolls in. Psychologists advise not to hide from it under fake fun, but to fully experience the emotions.

Listen to yourself

If at this moment you feel sadness and melancholy, surrender fully to these difficult feelings. You have a right to them.

Find a suitable activity

Perhaps it's time to watch a sentimental movie or look through your diary from ten years ago. Or just cry into your pillow. By the way, tears have a cleansing effect.

Think that this will pass

No matter how bad it gets, you should always look for a thread to cling to. This thread is our hope for tomorrow, that everything will change for the better and we will be in great shape. Think about good things even in the most difficult periods - and they will certainly happen to you!

To enjoy life, you need to be able to enjoy simple things: a reminder of happiness

• Of course, our plans and dreams are very good. You need to walk towards them with confidence. But don’t forget to look around and appreciate what you have! Yes, you can be skeptical about such an already established expression, but it really works. But you have to believe it! We offer the simplest plan: you are alive and well, you have arms and legs - great, you already have a reason to smile. Moreover, we repeat that our historical time can truly be called the best. Everyone has stress, but you don't have to go hunting early in the morning trying to get food. We can drive a car, contact a loved one even at a distance, and even buy what we want! Our requests have simply grown too;
• Do your children tug at your sleeve asking for new toys ? Even better, nature has given you wonderful heirs. Why, they don’t ask you for a crust of bread, like during the war. Consider how exactly your smooth facial features were passed on to your daughter, and how your son inherited an excellent character! You have someone to be proud of. After all, some only dream of children even without a husband. It's not every day that we think about it, but it's a great reason to be happy;
• if your family currently consists of only two people or just one, it’s time to take it for yourself . Think about it: maybe you have long dreamed of learning to dance or learn a foreign language. After all, it is useful at any age! There is no reason to deny yourself.

Look at the bubbles around you for joy!

• Don't live and don't dream of another life! Again, this may be an echo of the past, that this event would have turned your life upside down, or that neighbor got married more successfully. Nothing is given or happens for nothing! The burden is given according to your strength and should be according to your capabilities. When you take on too heavy a load, you can break your back. It’s the same in life - any event is caused by a series of previous actions, but they will never arise in our lives just like that. We will not assure that these are “the thoughts of the Lord,” because each of us has a different religion. But one thing is certain - everything is interconnected and directly depends on us!

Even if it seems that the situation is completely bad, still try to see at least small advantages in it. It’s much easier to live when you take a positive element out of every moment. We must remember that everything passes. All failures will end, the white stripe will replace the black one. Believe in success, even if everyone around you doubts. Carry with you an inner smile that will help you cope with everything easily and simply. Take over all circumstances using your own inner strength.

Love every corner of this life

Work on yourself - it will give you more joy in life!

• Never think bad about yourself! To forgive another, you need to forgive yourself first! If you reproach yourself for saying the wrong word 10 years ago, then you simply won’t be able to notice the joyful fragments.
• Praise yourself even for small achievements. Yes, don’t expect praise from others, but start being proud of yourself. This law works on an unknown level, and people will also begin to see in you what you yourself see in reflection!
• By the way, start playing sports or balance your diet. This will help not only increase the production of endorphins, which are responsible for joy, but also put your figure in order. And this touch already gives a measure of self-confidence and, accordingly, the ability to see joy in general.
• Never feel sorry for yourself! This is even more depressing. And don’t complain to others so that they will feel sorry for you. This is a vicious circle from which it is very difficult to get out. If trouble happens, look for a solution and a positive moment. If your shoes are torn, that means you need to buy new ones. Lost your wallet/phone - it’s good that the Universe took away the material part, and not your health.
• Give thanks to life! For everything, even the not-so-successful moments in life. They are always beneficial. But while you are “sour”, mourning your broken phone, a good job, where you could earn two, will be walking around. A very banal example, but this is the law of nature - free and let go of the negative part in order to fill it with positivity. Like a vessel with bad wine, you need to pour it out first to fill it with a fresh drink. Which is quite logical - we won’t mix the two varieties.

True

• Don't forget to say "thank you" to the people around you. Have you noticed that all good (and not only) deeds come back to us like a boomerang? By sharing goodness, we ourselves become better and richer. Also, a feeling of gratitude is never superfluous. We often do not appreciate loved ones and their actions, without even imagining that someday they may no longer exist. But these small thanks will lift the spirits of others, and then it will certainly come back to you. In general, there is such a small rule - you need to say and hear at least 10 thanks a day! Then the day will not be lived in vain.

You can find a thousand and one reasons to smile just here and now, without using any resources. We don't need much to be happy. The most important thing is to learn to see the good without focusing on temporary failures. Drive away bad thoughts and appreciate what you already have.

Smile - and life will smile back!

What can you do to ensure that your joy of life, contentment with life and vitality return?

Our brain functions in very interesting ways. His main task is to leave everything as it is. If nothing threatens survival, then he will not budge. And if there is a threat to life, he will do everything possible to eliminate this threat or remove the “body” from the source of the threat.

In other words, you are alive now, which means there is no threat to your life. When you start moving towards yourself, a feeling of guilt is activated (for the majority). The brain sees this unpleasant feeling as a threat to life and stops movement. If you managed to cope with the feeling of guilt, then as soon as you open the door with prohibitions, your needs, desires, and external events begin to change. The brain begins to block change. Possible rollbacks. At this stage, many people retreat: “Like, I tried everything, nothing helps.” But there are tactics that allow you to “deceive” the brain so that it does not recognize the changes and does not begin to block them. I help people open the door to themselves, find integrity, cope with feelings and start living THEIR life.

Your psychologist, Larisa Artamonova

Difficult level: put yourself first

If a person does not have such experience, then it is unlikely that he will be able to immediately take and apply this advice. And that's okay.

Thinking about yourself more than others is not easy. This is often mistaken for selfishness. To begin with, again, you can observe yourself. This will help you understand in what cases the desires of others are higher than your own.

How to stop fulfilling other people's requests to the detriment of yourself - article in Yours

Katya, 22:

— I have anxious parents: they worry when I’m not in the mood, and regularly ask why I’m sad.
My mother is especially afraid: she thinks I’m depressed. Because if there is no depression, then I should be happy and spin Oleg Gazmanov’s wheel. At first, I tried to explain the reasons for my calm or sad mood: for example, I was tired at school. But such explanations did not reassure my mother. I had to answer additional questions and prove that I did not have suicidal thoughts. Sometimes I explained that it was a matter of grades, but my parents answered that this was a trifle that was not worth worrying about. I had to assent and imitate joy.

I started pretending that everything was fine, and one day I burst into tears in class for no reason. The school psychologist suggested discussing this. I explained that it’s convenient to have good emotions - everyone around you thinks you’re cool and doesn’t bother you with questions, but sometimes it’s very difficult for me to pretend.

Now I know that it is my parents who need to work on their emotions, and not force me to be happy when they want. I'm learning to say no and trying to think about myself. This is very difficult, especially with my mother. But progress is already visible.

Another advanced way is to find something enjoyable to do. This is not easy, if only because many are simply not accustomed to this. It’s also difficult for a person to find time for himself when he has children, work and other things to do.

Often the first time it is not possible to understand what you like and what to do. Then keeping a diary, observing yourself, and trying out different options can help with this. And if it doesn’t work out, well, okay, but you tried. It's normal if a person doesn't have a hobby.

Rely only on yourself

In general, ideally, it’s good to have a boyfriend or girlfriend who will be a kind of “trigger”, a “spring” that forces you to always do something and change your life picture. But, unfortunately, in our lives, friends disappear at the first sign of failure, and only sincerely loving people can bother with the “eternal whiner”. Therefore, you should not rely heavily on those whom we consider our friends - they have their own lives, and you will have to save yours yourself. Like Munchausen, who pulled himself out of the swamp by his hair, you will pull yourself out of the gloomy swamp, centimeter by centimeter. Don’t count on the fact that this can be done in just 5-7 days. Those who promise to save you from this scourge within such a period of time are simply charlatans. There is a time for everything - it may take several months to completely banish apathy from your mind. It is also possible, and don’t let this scare you, that there are breakdowns, when day after day you try, take actions, try to become interested in something - but there seems to be no result. And you lie down on the sofa again, mindlessly looking at the ceiling, and you are too lazy to get up to drink water or “don’t care” about everything that happens outside your apartment.

This is a normal, natural process. Mope around for a couple of days, and then grab yourself by the hair again and continue to pull your body and mind out of the quagmire.

There are two options for how others treat you: pity and envy. If you want everyone to feel sorry for you, you don’t have to read any further, continue to feel sorry for yourself, the unfortunate one. Everyone else - let's start the battle.

Appreciate the little things in life

When we're going through a difficult time, we can become so preoccupied with the future or the past that we miss the simple joys of living in the present. Perhaps it is the sound of a child's laughter, an unexpected rainbow in the sky. It's easy to overlook these little surprises in life, but taking the time to appreciate them will make every day more rewarding.

Gratitude is another path to happiness. When we remind ourselves to appreciate the everyday gifts in life, such as the fresh air we breathe or good friends and family, we automatically find more joy in our daily lives.

Give children joy

The most common cause of apathy and depression is infantility. A person expects life to give him all the joys, not wanting to act on his own. Meanwhile, life requires effort, otherwise it turns into a swamp. Look for new meanings of existence for yourself. One of them may be caring for children who do not have parents. If you're lonely and not too happy right now, give some warmth to those who really need it! Going to the nearest orphanage on the weekend and reading a fairy tale to the kids, talking to older children - this will not require any special expenses. But the impact can be very strong. You will feel that someone needs you, that someone is happy to see you, someone is waiting for you. Which means there is meaning to live!

Learn to let go

It can be difficult to let go of something that has been central to your life, but you may find that by allowing yourself to let it go, you experience more joy. If you're unhappy and struggling, know that it's completely okay to change direction and leave the job you've had for fifteen years or end a long-term relationship.

Some aspects of life that you thought were vital may actually be holding you back from experiencing true joy. When we learn to leave behind careers, relationships, or habits that no longer serve us, we allow ourselves to feel renewed and prepared for new adventures and joys in life.

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What is anhedonia?

Anhedonia is a specific impoverishment of the emotional sphere, characterized by loss of a sense of joy, lack of pleasure from favorite activities, and decreased motivation to receive positive emotions. A person with this diagnosis does not have good and bad days; they are all equally grey, dull, joyless.

Most often, this diagnosis is given to unsuccessful and unsociable people. It turns out to be a kind of vicious circle: failures provoke a feeling of inferiority, self-doubt, a person limits contacts with others (personal or work), fearing to fail again, but because of this he does not gain new experience, does not grow, does not develop. Faced with a similar situation again, he repeats previous mistakes.

Symptoms of the disease

• Loss of interest in life;
• Lack of aspirations, desires and ambitions;
• Selectivity of memory: often memories of pleasant moments are erased or become dim, while failures constantly pop up in memory;
• Lethargy, apathy, fatigue;
• Lack of self-confidence, feelings of inferiority and inferiority;
• Closedness, difficulty maintaining social connections with other people;
• Lack of emotional response: a person does not enjoy everyday little things (delicious food, a beautiful sunset) and significant events (a promotion, going to a concert of a favorite band);
• Loss of interest in hobbies and interests that previously brought pleasure;
• Decreased sexual desire.

Classification of anhedonia

Anhedonia is the inability to experience pleasure. Today the following forms of this disease are distinguished:

1. Social anhedonia is characterized by isolation, lack of desire to please people, pleasure from social contacts, and desire to achieve career success;
2. Physical – manifests itself in a decrease in the positive perception of stimuli that are associated with the senses (beautiful color, appetizing smell, pleasant tactile sensations, etc.), the joy of relaxation;
3. The intellectual-aesthetic form implies a loss of the need for new knowledge, a lack of joy while contemplating something beautiful, a loss of pleasure while reading books, listening to music, loss of interest in hobbies;
4. The somnic form was introduced into use in 2021 after the publication of a scientific article by a domestic scientist - V.D. Mendelevich. It is diagnosed if there is no pleasure from the sleep process;
5. Sexual and orgasmic anhedonia can be manifested by decreased libido, lack of pleasure during sexual intercourse or orgasm (if its physiological signs are present).

The disease happens:

• Partial, that is, affecting one or more aspects of the patient’s life. For example, the patient cannot experience pleasure during sex or watching a good movie, but he enjoys meeting with friends;
• Total: covering the full range of positive emotions. In this case, the patient will be diagnosed with manifestations of all 5 forms of anhedonia, as well as an additional serious mental disorder (for example, severe melancholy-apathetic depression of a psychotic level).

More outdoor activities

Regular walks have a healing effect: they improve mood, saturate the blood with oxygen, and significantly reduce the risk of chronic heart and vascular diseases.

Also, daily walks help reduce the risk of excess weight (due to calorie consumption), strengthen joints and generally improve immunity. The influence of “seasonal blues” will decrease.

Note: it is not necessary to spend an hour a day walking... If you don’t have enough time, 30 minutes is enough.

How to awaken interest in life

Available means

To escape from routine, it is quite possible to make do with “improvised means”. Try to devote more time to your favorite hobby, sign up for classes at a fitness club, start taking foreign language courses, a diving club, and so on. Try something new. It is best to give preference to group classes. A new atmosphere and social circle will help you shake yourself up and get rid of the blues. In addition, you can slightly change your home environment. Paint the walls a different color, complement the interior with bright accessories, replace the old gray bedspread with a new one in bright colors. Some women find it helpful to change their wardrobe, image, and clothing style. Just try to add small changes to your life. Don't let a gloomy mood bring you down. Music therapy will be an excellent help in regaining interest in life. Make a new playlist. Include only catchy, dynamic melodies, which, upon hearing, immediately make you want to start dancing

Avoid melancholic and sad tracks. It is important to try to receive a certain dose of positive emotions every day. Dedicate at least 15-20 minutes a day to reading jokes, anecdotes, laugh heartily. This will not only create a charge of positivity, but also relieve you of apathy and help you look at the world with different eyes.

This will not only create a charge of positivity, but also relieve you of apathy and help you look at the world with different eyes.

Attention to small joys

When thinking about the joys of life, most people come to mind the following pictures: a long vacation on the ocean, an unforgettable trip to European countries, winning the lottery.

It is important to learn to thank fate not only for large-scale events (they do not happen so often), but also for the priceless gifts that we receive every day, but do not attach any importance to them:

• the warmth of a loved one's hug;
• parents' smile;
• the beauty of the street after a little rain or the first snowfall;
• children's laughter on the playground caused by a kitten chasing a leaf.

You shouldn’t assume that happiness comes with an ideal life in all respects, no. Real joy is happiness where you are at the moment.

Read: How to quickly cheer yourself up

Joy as an emotion

From a physiological point of view, joy is a state associated with the activation of a set of brain structures called the reward system. The changes that occur in it under the influence of external stimuli cause a feeling of pleasure.

This mechanism has evolved to increase the likelihood of behavior that is potentially beneficial to humans. Emotions outpace thoughts, allowing you to make quick decisions . This is beneficial, for example, in moments of danger.

In our time, when human needs have become “more elevated” than thousands of years ago, and decision-making circumstances have become extremely complex, focusing solely on emotions does not always bring the desired results.

Nevertheless, emotions remain an understandable and reliable “compass” that makes it easier to navigate the sea of ​​possibilities and recognize your true needs.

Joy is an emotional state that appears in circumstances that are positive for the individual—situations that are useful, safe, and pleasant. Decisions made with joy are accompanied by a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment. They give energy and self-confidence.

Forgive old grievances

Life can change dramatically if you forgive old grievances. To forgive in some languages ​​means the same thing as to untie. And this is not just a play on words. By forgiving, we give ourselves a lot of joy and energy, which can be spent on all sorts of useful things. For example, to achieve a goal.

By the way, grievances often have many side effects. One of them is excess weight. So forgiving offenses is not only good, but also profitable.

Based on the book “100 Ways to Change Your Life”

Post cover: pixabay.com

The mind needs rest

Man is designed in such a way that he is always thinking about something. The brain gets tired, so it often becomes fixated on one thing, most often quite unpleasant. For example, a negative event may stick in the head, and a person begins to think about it constantly. It is clear that in this case there is no talk of any joy in life.

To get rid of obsessive and anxious thoughts, you need to learn to give your mind rest. The simplest way is meditation.

How to learn to meditate:

1. Take a comfortable position.
2. Play relaxing music or sounds of nature.
3. Close your eyes.
4. Focus on the sound and try not to think about anything.

Only 5-10 minutes of such simple meditation will provide complete rest for your head. Do this exercise every day and you will notice that life has become simpler and easier.

Check out the course “Joy of Life in Difficult Times.” You will receive a secret meditation technique to achieve a resourceful state.

Drop the negativity

Sometimes it is enough to become an optimist to enjoy life every day. This does not require rose-colored glasses and a naive view of the world; you just need to stop focusing on the negative. To do this, start looking for the positive in everything. If you set a goal, it can be found even in the most unpleasant events.

It's harder to work with negativity. A person often does not notice how negative thoughts arise and how much they poison his life. The problem is that it is easier to focus on the negative than the positive. Have you noticed how the same unpleasant thought haunts you day after day? It is important to make an effort to switch your thoughts to something pleasant. The easiest way is to write everything down on paper and change the minus to a plus.

Write down in a column every negative event that you noticed over the past week. For example, you had to work overtime, your favorite shoes broke, you didn’t buy what you planned, and so on. Then think about it and write down next to each event all the positive things that you were able to notice. For example, working overtime will be paid, and accordingly your income will increase. The shoes are torn - but there is a reason to buy new ones and, for example, change the style, as you have long wanted.

Why don't people enjoy life? Third reason

Reluctance to live is the third reason. Even if a person lives an ordinary life, he can still have a program for destroying himself and not wanting to live. And if a person doesn’t want to live, then why be happy? After all, it is logical that if a person enjoys life, it means that he wants to live and live his life happily, despite any problems that fate brings us. Well, what can you do, such is life.

Therefore, we need to watch more subconscious programs and change them, change them to positive ones, so that the colors of life sparkle in a new way. Guide to changing yourself.pdf Subscribe to INSTAGRAM

Do charity work

The easiest way to get a taste for life is to do something good for another person. At the same time, it is important to do something of your own free will and for someone who really needs it. Good deeds fill a person with powerful energy of happiness and joy, giving space for growth and development.

Help someone who really needs it. You can do charity work, transfer money to a relief fund, or simply give unnecessary things to someone who needs them. You can sign up as a volunteer, help pet shelters, or simply bring food to lonely pensioners in your neighborhood - there are a lot of options, you just need to look.

Don't focus on what you can't change

What do adults talk about? About the weather, politics, rising prices and other things that they cannot influence. You can't control it, which means you don't need to focus on it. This doesn't mean you should stop watching the news and stop observing social changes, just reduce the importance of such events. You still can’t change them, all you have to do is accept them.

Spiritual Economics says, “A happy person has joy on his face, but if there is sadness in his heart, it will also show on his face” (WBTC, Proverbs 15:13). You will see, as soon as such events become indifferent to you, your life will immediately become better and happier.