- What is female jealousy
- Why is a girl jealous
- How to understand that a woman is jealous
- What should a woman do?
- Take care of yourself
- Find an interesting thing
- Take a closer look at your friends
- Advice from psychologists
- How to be a man
Men and women react completely differently to all kinds of situations due to physiological and psychological characteristics. Jealousy also has specific gender characteristics.
What is female jealousy
A girl's jealousy is a negative, destructive state, which manifests itself in a lack of desire to make contact with her partner. Often this feeling arises in a woman in love who doubts the devotion and fidelity of her chosen one. Or this woman has already had a sad relationship experience in the past.
Perhaps everyone has encountered such emotions, but not everyone experiences them all the time. If a girl is jealous too often, this indicates that she has internal problems and difficulties in relationships with the opposite sex. This feeling combines a mixture of emotions such as anger, resentment, doubt, hatred, personal insecurity, pity, envy, etc. Many people take it as an integral part of love, but this is not so; rather, on the contrary, jealous behavior is a lack of love for the chosen one and for oneself. A jealous person does not know how to love, but makes every effort to be loved. It is difficult for such girls to open up and trust men.
Loyalty vs Jealousy – whose side are you on?
Do you want to understand what to do with jealousy? Then let's deal with loyalty. After all, jealous people demand it that way.
Faith, confidence, trust, fidelity are words that are close in meaning.
Loyalty as a human quality is formed in adolescence, when we actively learn about ourselves and the world around us, and learn to be friends. And later - to love.
How to deal with jealousy?
Initially, we learn to believe in ourselves and in ourselves. The stronger this feeling manifests itself, the higher the level of self-confidence. Only after we learn this are we able to trust others.
Jealousy is a lack of fidelity. JEALOUSY is LOYALTY in reverse.
Loyalty means that you are initially responsible for your choice to yourself.
Where does jealousy come from?
Jealousy appears when a person:
- doesn't believe in himself;
- does not know how to trust anyone;
- is not able to make his words and deeds coincide;
- doesn't know how to make friends;
- has no principles to which it itself corresponds;
- does not know what responsibility for oneself, one’s words, choices, actions means.
Why is a girl jealous
Psychologists identify a number of reasons for female jealousy.
- Fear of loneliness. Representatives of the fair sex have long been considered vulnerable and in need of support from men. This fact is especially evident in the presence of children, because outside support plays an important role. In addition, there is the fear of being alone in old age. These moments exacerbate the desire to keep a man, potential or real, near you.
- Low self-esteem. Many people believe that women compete with other representatives to choose a guy. Therefore, a decrease in personal self-esteem turns a woman into a weak competitor in the hunt for a man’s heart. A feeling of self-doubt gives rise to the fear of losing your chosen one, because... for her, other women appear in a more advantageous appearance.
- Selfishness. Some girls view the world and people from the position of ownership. For them, the surrounding objects and people are created in order to fully satisfy their wishes. They treat men the same way, from a consumer point of view. If a guy does not adhere to her framework and behaves a little differently, this turns into a surge of jealousy for him.
- Extremes. Girls cannot accept average decisions; situations that occur are often assessed too harshly: they are either good or, conversely, bad. Changes in male behavior are assessed categorically. For example, if a man is late at work or in the company of friends, he will certainly cheat; if he becomes silent, he is trying to hide something. This turns into mistrust, so the woman begins to be jealous.
- Excessive impressionability, imagination. One of the reasons is the excessive emotionality of the female sex, the ability to perceive any situation exaggeratedly. Behavior that goes beyond the ordinary increases at lightning speed in the female imagination.
Gossip 5
Women are also gossips - that's a fact. Not a single women's group gets by without discussing someone. And relationships take first place in gossip. Today he was seen talking with an attractive colleague, and tomorrow she heard rumors that he was cheating on her.
Gossip works like the children's game “broken phone.” Someone will hear their own, add small details and the resulting thought will be different from the one that was originally.
The man can only talk to his girlfriend and let her understand that all this is empty gossip. And it’s best not to give people with long tongues reasons to spread rumors.
How to understand that a woman is jealous
Signs of jealousy in women can be completely different. The main one is constant monitoring of a man’s movements and affairs . Let's look at other characteristic features.
- Excessive vigilance. A woman cannot control herself and sticks her nose into her man’s affairs. He strives to know everything about him, right down to who he talks to at work. She often checks his phone, email, and reads SMS. Under any circumstances, with or without a reason, she can throw tantrums and does not allow him to see his friends, fearing the presence of other people’s women.
- Wild imagination. Being at home within four walls, out of boredom, a woman can invent scenes about betrayal. Moreover, fantasies can be so real that they lead her into a state of panic. A work call to her husband at home in front of her can lead to excessive nervousness. Due to an attack of jealousy, she feels an increase in blood pressure and experiences a headache.
- Labor activity. If a man is a workaholic and can often stay late at work, his chosen one will definitely suspect him of cheating with a colleague. Having found a reason, such a spouse can sometimes appear in the office to see with her own eyes the honesty of a man’s words. An overly jealous lady will not give rest to the new employee, hurting her.
- Collection of information. Jealousy can manifest itself in the form of collecting information about your beau. The girl studies the time the guy spent outside the house without her. May question his friends, employees and undertakes to check his contacts, especially females with whom he interacted. A possible competitor is checked with special care. The woman will check her age, circle of friends, marital status, etc. There are cases when a jealous woman hires private detectives to collect information about her and to monitor her.
- Lonely comrades. The jealousy of women leads to the fact that they seek to prohibit their betrothed from communicating with unmarried friends. They believe that they can push their loved one to find a mistress. And they are also afraid that free men will be introduced to a wild lifestyle, and their man will not want to return to a measured life. In such cases, ladies often give their betrothed an ultimatum, which consists in choosing between a love relationship or friends. Subsequently, if she finds out about secret contacts with them, there will be a huge scandal.
- Frequent accusations. Female jealousy manifests itself in relationships in the form of constant accusations. The partner has to justify himself every time and provide facts about how he is right. This behavior is repeated regularly.
- Hysterics. Being at home or among friends, a jealous person can easily start a quarrel even in front of strangers. She will not filter her expressions or change the intonation of her voice. Without hesitation, she will boldly and vividly demonstrate her experiences under any circumstances.
Women's jealousies with manic tendencies sometimes have no barriers. Such ladies will not back down from their object of jealousy.
Through the eyes of statistics ↑
Research and numerous surveys conducted among several hundred thousand women have given disappointing forecasts: female jealousy is at the top of the list of family conflicts, ahead of such seemingly obvious “favorites” as unsettled life, material well-being and sexual incompatibility.
As for the reasons why lovers, both with and without experience, separate, the numbers are staggering - if we exclude the item “jealousy” from the general list, then there would be no compelling reasons for ending the relationship or dissolving the marriage. three pairs out of four!
Thus, we can conclude that 75% of families and couples break up due to jealousy!
By the way, it was noticed that those women who are officially married face problems based on jealousy much more often, in contrast to those whose relationships are civil or free.
What should a woman do?
Psychologists give recommendations to look at the current problem from a different angle.
By inventing various situations in your head, you can actually push your spouse to cheat. When talking about the same thing, sooner or later he will become interested in it. Often what we expect happens.
Experts in the field of psychology assure that one should not conclude from the usual look of a spouse at another woman that he likes her, much less say it out loud in front of him.
Take care of yourself
Girls are often jealous because of low self-esteem. Regular complaints against a man lead to her greater decline. When a spouse realizes that he is the only one, he can begin to behave as he pleases. To return everything to its place, you can make an effort and change your external image: from your hairstyle to new wardrobe updates. This will help return the interested glances of other men. Actions will bring benefits because... Noticing interested glances at his wife, the husband becomes more active and begins to show jealousy himself.
Find an interesting thing
Often thinking about who your spouse is with at the moment is a sign of limitations in the role of wife and housewife. It is important for girls to find additional activities, hobbies, see friends, take courses, etc. If you do not have such interests, then even the most devoted spouse may soon commit adultery. He will be bored by being alone with a lady whose thoughts are all about finding out who he was with. A girl should show herself more love and not show every time that her husband is the only man on the entire planet. Representatives of the stronger sex are able to recognize weak points and successfully use them. They should be constantly kept in good shape, otherwise you can forget about a happy marriage.
Take a closer look at your friends
Love relationships need to be built without provocation. Psychologists do not recommend trying to build a family with a person who is not capable of becoming a good couple. Ladies need to be able to build the right relationships with sisters, close girlfriends and other girls. If they have their own family and men, the friendship will be safer. It is better to communicate with single women alone without a spouse. Spending evenings together and listening to stories from a friend who is looking for a boyfriend is strictly not recommended. If she asks for a man's help to fix a cabinet door, change a faucet, etc., it is better not to entrust this to her husband. If you can’t refuse, you shouldn’t leave them together.
Advice from psychologists
If the above is useless, including external transformation, relaxation with friends and self-development, you need to move on to drastic methods. Find the true cause of the current problems, talk frankly with your husband and find a solution. If you cannot achieve what you want, you can seek help from a psychologist who will give recommendations that can improve relationships in family life.
Psychologists offer a number of practical ways to combat your own jealousy.
To start fighting jealousy, you can listen to the advice of experienced psychologists.
- It is better to refrain from sorting things out in public places or in the presence of your spouse’s friends. Also, you should not focus on indifference to a man during an outburst of jealousy.
- Understand your emotions. Having calmed down, alone with your thoughts, you need to think carefully and understand the reason for female jealousy. This is often difficult to do, but having found the true reasons, you can easily manage your experiences in the future.
- Talk to the man. In a calm atmosphere, without hysterics or complaints, express your feelings in certain situations. A guy who intends to save the relationship will reconsider his behavior and never allow this to happen.
- Take time for yourself. A simple trip to a beauty salon or spa treatments, with pleasant external transformations, will increase self-esteem and arouse the interest of your partner.
Availability of free time4
It has been scientifically proven that a girl who has a lot of free time is more jealous of her boyfriend than one whose whole day is scheduled to the minute. When there is a lot of work, there is practically no time left to think about jealousy of a guy. After all, when you finally find yourself in bed with your loved one in the evening after a hard day at work, the last thing you want to do is quarrel.
And vice versa, when there is a lot of free time, the girl occupies it with useless thoughts. And half of these thoughts concern her partner and other girls.
There is one way to solve this problem - take some free time. A girl should find a new hobby, get a pet, give birth to a child, rearrange her apartment, or just watch her favorite TV series.
How to be a man
If you notice that your girlfriend is jealous, then start showing her more personal attention and care.
- If, despite the jealousy on the part of the girl, you still want to maintain and improve the relationship, you should be patient and surround your beloved with reverent attention, take a lot of care of her, even if this requires stepping over personal principles. She needs to call and text more often, even for no reason, so that she can be calm. You should give her gifts, pamper her with bouquets, give pleasant compliments, demonstrate your feelings and show that she is unique to you. Having received enough attention and a portion of love, the girl will forget about her tormenting feelings and blossom.
- Pay less attention to the opposite sex. It’s better to educate yourself and stop staring at charming ladies in the presence of your wife. You can admire the appearance of strangers only in a circle of friends and without a spouse.
- It is important to remember that in any situation you should not flirt with your wife's friend. A close friend is the first possible candidate for cheating, according to women. Even the best friends, deep down, perceive each other as potential rivals for a man’s fight. They even at a subconscious level show their superiority in something. Jealousy is justified in many cases.
- Rivalry between ladies can lead to betrayal in an attempt to prove their beauty and sexuality. Taking this into account, to avoid such an incident, it is better to keep your beloved away from such a friend.
- Intimate talk. You can eliminate a woman's jealousy through frequent frank conversations between partners. You should tell her more about your pastime, your affairs, worries, seek advice and at the same time show interest in her everyday life and feelings. You need to make an effort and prove your love and loyalty, convince that there is absolutely no reason for jealousy. Any small lie can contribute to permanent mistrust. You can introduce your spouse in front of your colleagues at a corporate event or with friends, this act will show her that there is nothing to worry about.
It is important to remember that jealousy is a destructive feeling that must be fought. Women's excessive jealousy in relationships can lead not only to their breakup, but also to mental problems, because... It is often unsafe to be under stress.
Consequences
Jealousy is like poison - in small doses it stimulates love, in large doses it kills it.
Consequences of female jealousy:
- Deterioration of relationships in couples. Accusations, misunderstandings, quarrels, scandals lead to a breakdown in relationships.
- Constant reproaches provoke real betrayal.
- The painful state of “delusion of jealousy” requires medical intervention.
- Aggression directed at a partner and rival can lead to criminal consequences.
- Deterioration of the psychosomatic state of children, psychological trauma caused by a showdown and insults in their presence.
Jealousy is not a character trait, but a peculiar feeling of fear for one’s well-being. To avoid serious consequences, learn to control yourself.