One way or another, it is common for everyone to worry. Everyone has experiences inside them that they cannot do anything about. And that's okay. It is important to be able to cope with your emotions, practice “mental hygiene” and get rid of unnecessary things. Nadezhda Pozharova will tell you how to overcome and stop depressing thoughts.
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Where do negative thoughts come from?
When a person has a stream of depressing thoughts, this can happen for a variety of reasons. This often happens due to stress or emotional burnout. It is very important to pay attention to such experiences. The point is not so much to contain negative emotions, but to become aware of them and notice them. Once you do this, there will be much fewer of them.
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And you can fight annoying thoughts in different ways. Let's tell you more about some of them.
No. 2. White sheet of paper
Visualization also helps a lot in cases where it is impossible to concentrate on breathing for some reason. You can imagine a candle wick answering your questions. Or a white piece of paper lying on your desk. Imagine a pen in your right hand and write down all the thoughts and emotions that are bothering you, and then crumple and throw this piece of paper out the window. Take another sheet of paper and write down the remaining thoughts and emotions related to the present moment: maybe you are uncomfortable sitting, you don’t want to be here, you are sad and scared. Write down everything and send this piece of paper out the window again. Taking the third leaf in your hands, point it at the light and see how it shines. How sharp are its edges and how smooth is its surface! Enjoy the purity of this color permeating your body and thoughts.
Practical exercises
There are several exercises to help you concentrate and free yourself from negativity. Try taking a piece of paper, drawing a dot on it and looking at it for a minute. It may seem annoying at first, but if you focus, the exercise really helps.
You can also concentrate on points in the body. For example, placing your palm on your heart, you should try to keep your attention on its beating. Such meditation practices are very convenient because they can be performed anywhere if you feel that bad thoughts are not letting go.
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In addition, various breathing exercises and meditation help. It all depends on desire. If you force yourself to do something just to free your mind from bad thoughts, then this, on the contrary, will give an exclusively negative result.
When negative thoughts take hold, it is important to switch gears and take action. You can take a walk or eat. Yes, yes, to eat, or more precisely, to chew. The body must understand that everything is fine.
“I don’t want to” is not necessary: why shouldn’t you reproach yourself for laziness?
The psychologist also advises performing written practices, for example, writing out everything that is happening in your head, in order to unload your consciousness. Later, the pages can be torn or burned - literally throwing out unnecessary thoughts. At the same time, the expert strongly advises against putting additional strain on yourself. If you have a lot of worries in your head, you shouldn’t even read literature about it - you’ll only push yourself further.
Intrusive thoughts or “mental chewing gum”
Kubareva Svetlana Vladimirovna
Psychotherapist
June 25, 2016
“What you can perceive calmly no longer controls you” Confucius
It is difficult to find people who have not encountered obsessive thoughts . These thoughts arise against your will, spin in your head for hours like a “broken record” and are always emotionally charged. It’s not for nothing that they are called “mental chewing gum ,” because they are just as sticky, viscous and lead absolutely nowhere.
For example, you talked to someone in a raised voice and became agitated. The situation ended a long time ago, but you continue to mentally replay it: “you should have said this and that, done such and such...”. You get angry, argue, find more and more evidence that you are right, and just can’t calm down and switch...
As a result, nothing changes, while fatigue sets in and the only desire appears - to get rid of thoughts at any cost. But that was not the case... Because all manifestations of obsessions hide emotions, which quite often are not reacted to in a stressful situation. You are seething with indignation, you are very afraid or worried about the future, or maybe you are just incredibly offended... And until you cope with your emotions, live through them, you will not be able to free yourself from the thoughts that are haunting you.
who are responsible, prone to perfectionism , and have a characteristically anxious and suspicious radical personality often suffer from “mental chewing gum.” As a rule, they initially have the habit of constantly conducting an internal virtual dialogue. Moreover, these are people with clear rules and guidelines, the truth of which is beyond doubt. Such conversations “to oneself” over time arise not only in situations that are emotionally important for a person, but also relate to any everyday things. Gradually and imperceptibly, a person loses his freedom and becomes a hostage to an obsessive state.
Obsessions can also be a manifestation of a more serious, painful condition. Suddenly my heart began to pound, I felt fear, anxiety, and the thought arose: “there’s something wrong with my heart, what if I die like my grandmother, who suffered from heart disease...”. A person becomes fixated on a symptom, is afraid of it, begins to surf the Internet in search of information about his imaginary disease, constantly listens to himself and, of course, finds more and more new confirmations, the fear intensifies...
Then he moves on to action: he begins to undergo examinations, visit specialists, and although all the test results are normal, there is no relief. As a rule, all this is accompanied by anxiety and depressive symptoms, performance is impaired, it is difficult to concentrate, and insomnia occurs. And then we can talk about OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) or obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Can obsessive thoughts be useful?
If a bank loan has been issued to you, the time for the next payment is approaching, but there is no money... Then thoughts about where to get the necessary amount will stimulate you to look for a way out of the current situation.
Or, let’s say, you have a goal - to buy an apartment and you are looking for possible options, you sit for days and monitor prices, compare and analyze, collect information about developers so as not to make a mistake in choosing a company.
Or, you really want to improve your relationship with your partner. To do this, you read a lot of specialized literature, attend trainings, take care of yourself, constantly think and analyze “what and how” it should be….
As a result, if this situation continues for a long time, there may come a time when you decide to take a break, try to switch and occupy yourself with something else, but notice that you still continue to unconsciously think about your goal.
The very occurrence of an obsessive state is dangerous and harmful for us - it is a sign that mental problems have begun. And we urgently need to take action.
There is only one conclusion here - it doesn’t matter how valuable and useful what you do is! You must always take breaks, stop and allow yourself to rest emotionally, physically, and especially mentally, otherwise everything can end badly. Intrusive thoughts that are repeated endlessly are not productive. They only torment and take away energy. And, ultimately, they lead to illness. Therefore, you need to get rid of them.
How to help yourself:
Don't believe in your thoughts! - you need to realize the fact that you cannot completely believe everything that comes to your mind. Our thoughts are not us. Most thoughts are automatic, arise without our desire and 80% are repeated day after day in different variations. Let these thoughts be in your head, allow them to be and observe them. You don't have to believe in them. Your indifference and calm attitude towards these thoughts will significantly reduce their emotional intensity.
Don't resist them! — you cannot fight obsessive thoughts or try to get rid of them. Just indifferently start ignoring them, since there is nothing new or useful in them. Imagine that you have watched this movie hundreds of times and know all the details by heart. Are you interested?!
Find peace of mind! – obsessive thoughts feed on experiences, so rational arguments will not help you. It is important to deal with emotions and imagine yourself as an outside observer who indifferently watches what is happening. To do this, learn to switch. Any method will do: chatting with friends, an interesting book, an exciting movie, sports training or spa and relaxation; meditation techniques also work well.
I recommend! Take care and maintain your mental health. Take time to rest, eat right, try to move more and be outdoors. Give yourself as much joy as possible. Let only good positive thoughts live in your head.
Working with the elements
Fire, water, air and earth also help fight stress. Planting and watering flowers and plants, frying something over a fire (of course, not in urban conditions) or lighting aromatic candles, taking a bath - all these are effective methods of combating the blues.
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When is it time to see a psychiatrist?
If disturbing thoughts are of a certain abstract nature and relate to possible global catastrophes - the end of the world, a global flood - this is already a reason to consult a psychiatrist or psychotherapist. If you are constantly afraid of some kind of domestic incident - fires, floods, robberies - this is also an alarming symptom.
The boundary between the clinic and the norm will be a quantitative factor. If you traditionally check at least two or three times before leaving that you have turned off the lights, computer, closed the water tap and the front door, this is normal. Especially if you are traditionally distracted by calls, questions, conversations, requests, when it is easy to lose focus and overlook something. If you check all of the above at least 30-40 times, this is already a clinic, and you are unlikely to cope with this condition yourself.
Another sign that directly indicates the need for help from a specialist is the fear of performing some harmless action for fear of receiving information that does not suit you. For example, you constantly think that you are fat, and because of this you are afraid to weigh yourself in order to get real information about exactly how many kilograms you have gained and how much you need to lose. Or you are haunted by the fear of poverty, and because of this you do not dare to count your cash savings in order to have a real idea of how much money you have.
And even if disturbing obsessive thoughts have not yet materialized into some illogical cyclical actions or inactions, but simply go around in circles, in this case it is also often advised to visit a specialist (if not a psychiatrist, then at least a psychologist). However, if the experience has a fresh trace and arose relatively recently, you can cope with it yourself.
Creative techniques
Another way to clear your mind is to draw with your eyes closed or with an unfamiliar hand. If you are right-handed, try drawing while holding a pencil in your left hand; if you are left-handed, do the opposite. You can also try creating a picture using your fingers or feet.
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Singing, dancing, reading poems (you can choose to suit your mood and read out loud) - all this can help get rid of bad thoughts.
No. 3. Game of chests
Play with yourself, with your brain, for a few seconds. As children, games made us stronger and smarter, but in adulthood we seemed to no longer need these qualities. But we all know that this is not so. Close your eyes and lower your inner gaze to your feet. They stand on soft, green grass, slightly damp with dew. There are 5 chests in front of your feet. In the first, mentally add up all the events that have happened in your life over the past week. In the second, add up all the events of today. In the third, let all your emotions be: fear, resentment or joy. The fourth is people. Both close and barely familiar. And in the fifth - your thoughts, including reasoning, facts and expectations for tomorrow. Having laid everything out in the chests, look at the horizon, and then at the clear sky. Watch for passing clouds that disappear into the distance. The clear light blue sky is your consciousness. Enjoy it.
How to stop the internal dialogue in your head and relax during meditation before bed
Content
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1 How to stop the internal dialogue in your head and relax during meditation before bed
2 What is internal dialogue and how to stop it
3 Why you need to stop the flow of thoughts
4 Why do you need meditation and turning off internal dialogue?
5 How to stop the internal dialogue, hear yourself and your inner voice
Parable 6: Who am I? Video.
7 Do you need to constantly think about problems and solutions?
8 Is it possible to turn off the flow of thoughts inside yourself forever?
9 Why do you constantly have thoughts about dialogue with another person or offender after a quarrel?
10 Practice: techniques and exercises to stop the internal dialogue in your head
11 Castaneda's Books on Don Juan
Greetings. I am publishing my conversation with my friend on the topic of stopping internal dialogue. You asked: how to stop internal dialogue? Why do you want to stop him? Well, a dialogue in the head, a mental stirrer, a balabolka, or whatever else you call this process. Is he bothering you? Distracting? AAAA, I understand, some gurus said, then it’s clear. Aren't you afraid of going crazy? What if the roof quietly moves like slate? Well, what, you always thought, you got used to it. And then BAM! SILENCE! You will inevitably get scared.
See, this got you thinking. And then he rushed with his saber drawn: “show me how to stop the dialogue in the pumpkin, the Gurs told me.” It’s good that you came across me, you’re incredibly lucky. You can consider yourself lucky! Now I’ll show you everything on my fingers, I’ll tell you and everything will become clear. Ready? Go. Let's start from the very beginning.
How to stop the internal dialogue, hear yourself and your inner voice
And we will remain who we really are, i.e. Gods who decided to play and get pleasure from the real material world. Enjoy the taste of coffee with Amaretto syrup, the taste of good beer on a hot day. Feel the female (male) flesh, inhale the clean air saturated with the aroma of herbs with the bitterness of wormwood.
All this is the material world with its sensations, tastes, smells. It doesn't exist where we come from. So enjoy before you leave this world of real pleasures.
Those who wake up ask how to hear their inner voice. The gurus answer: in silence, in meditation. And here I agree with them. A swarm of confused thoughts prevents the voice of the higher self from reaching us. In silence and absence of thoughts, it makes its way to us.
Stop the flow of thoughts, listen to yourself, your feelings. Intuition is the voice from above. And intuition is not words, it is sudden knowledge that appears immediately and in full.
Don't wait for words, images. This is not your voice, these are pictures and words created by the mind, and it is not you, it is an instrument of the EGO. You will receive the answer to your question as sudden knowledge. It just appears and that's it. Like the periodic table.
Enter into meditation, stop the internal dialogue, ask a question. And wait. He will definitely come. And not right now, but when necessary. Maybe in a dream, maybe in some suddenly heard phrase, read word, or you just feel that you already know the answer to your question. It's different for everyone.
Why do you constantly have thoughts about dialogue with another person or offender after a quarrel?
Because you have no control over your mind. He turns you around as he wants. And he can make plans for revenge all night, replay situations, build dialogues, dream and torment you without sleep until the morning. So who is he after this?
Let go of the situation, it’s already the past, and it can’t be changed. Enjoy the present.
- Watch a comedy
- KVN is okay, sometimes there are funny jokes there too. Take a break from the situation, forget it at least for a while.
- Turn on relaxing music.
- Have sex passionately.
- Go to the cinema.
Gradually the severity of the situation will go away. The main thing here is to put it aside, detach yourself, try not to think. She shouldn't be in your thoughts. Ignore her and drive away as soon as she appears. Gradually it will begin to melt and then disappear completely.
Control your thoughts. As soon as they return to this unpleasant topic, forcefully switch them to something pleasant and good.
Why do you need meditation and turning off internal dialogue?
No, I do not deny meditation and stopping thoughts. Not at all, I'm in favor. It’s just that the final goal is different between the “gourami” and me. I don’t mind if one of them spent their whole life in a cave experiencing enlightenment. Let them continue to sit. Others give up sex and beer, again seeking enlightenment.
Let it go. I have a different goal and my own concept of enlightenment. I want to live in the REAL WORLD AND HAVE PLEASURE FROM LIFE.
You don't have to meditate to return to the real world. Enough awareness and taking control of your mind, and therefore your thoughts. The mind must do its job for which it was created. Solve feasible problems. For example, think about how to properly drive a nail into a wall, or how to charge a battery. Its function is purely practical. We can't cope here without him. So let him do it. But managing our lives is not a matter of the mind.
