Internet communication, communication via the Internet is virtual reality, and face-to-face communication, that is, live, is the real world. What is the difference? What is there in real, live communication that is not in virtual communication?
Do you think there are any guesses? Read on to find out.
Communication over the Internet can be carried out by video chat through Skype, Viber or Facebook applications. And live communication is carried out by visiting real places, appointed or random meetings.
The benefits of live communication
Everything that happens to us is stored in our mind in the form of ideas, memories and sensations. Both the good and the bad, the things that worry us, replay in our heads over and over again. When these memories and experiences are positive, there are no problems, because we even enjoy remembering them; but when it comes to problematic events that affect us emotionally, the fact or negative incident itself can end up amplifying in our mind and taking on a more negative emotional connotation and unprecedented proportions.
This means that what we don't express, what we don't talk about, can grow in our imagination and cause even more suffering. If we keep in our memory what causes us pain, sadness and disappointment, this “monster” will settle in our head and will grow and gain strength.
However, the solution to this problem is to speak up.
To speak is to organize what we think and to make ourselves aware of what came first and what happened next. And by arranging the pieces and giving an event our attention, we can sometimes find that what looked like a very large monster when it lived only in our minds becomes mere dust.
Virtual love and relationships: what's the difference?
Each of us needs love, we have an innate need to love and be loved. Moreover, this need is manifested in recognition, approval, respect and complete acceptance. When a person is in love, he is happy, fulfilled and full of strength and energy. Therefore, if a person does not find love in real life, he looks for it on the Internet.
Virtual love and virtual relationships are almost the same concepts. Love on the Internet is a far-fetched fact that is based on fantasy, imagination and the idea of a partner. Moreover, these ideas may absolutely not correspond to a real person. Therefore, people often get upset when meeting a virtual partner in life. The far-fetched does not coincide with reality. Moreover, the fact of unjustified expectations is manifested from appearance to demeanor and character. For example, “ugh, she’s not as beautiful as in the photo” or “he turned out to be so unsightly.”
Virtual relationships are communication between people in which they do not see each other, do not touch and do not perform any actions towards each other. However, they conditionally consider themselves a couple. They reinforce their “love” with emoticons with kisses, compliments and wishes of “good morning” and “good night”.
Virtual love is a kind of mind game. Playing at love, a person does not see, does not hear, does not understand what is happening around him, in real life. Moreover, he can talk about himself for days. It is not a fact that what is told will be true.
It is very rare that virtual lovers meet in reality.
Both virtual relationships and virtual love begin as quickly as they end quickly. Especially after a real meeting.
Is it worth talking about?
Restraint and the ability to solve problems independently, “not whine” and “not burden” others are perceived by many people as an exceptional virtue. I feel bad, but I smile, talk about the sun and flowers: aren’t I great? Don’t I protect my loved ones from negativity?
The answer is not entirely clear-cut. If we are talking about really close people, and not about tired colleagues during a deadline. The fact is that relatives and lovers often really feel us, our condition, mood, resentment or sadness. But not finding confirmation for them, they begin to worry. You about And the interlocutor feels anxiety: something is wrong. Maybe he doesn't deserve your trust? Or did he offend you without noticing it?
Some people simply do not need to share their experiences - due to internal characteristics. There may not be any childhood trauma or sad experience behind this. It’s just that one person needs a large support group, another needs a conversation with a friend, and a third just needs to be left alone, not touched, and allowed to figure it out on his own.
Tips for guys
Banal messages like “Hello! How are you? What are you doing?" are a thing of the past. It's become a cliche. And in general: why should a girl answer a guy she doesn’t know well how she’s doing and what she’s doing?
A guy should interest a girl from the first proposal. So, some advice from psychologists:
- Be playful, optimistic and humorous.
- Don't bombard the girl with messages.
- Show interest in her field of activity or hobby. She should feel that you are interested in her.
- Be the initiator of communication.
- Keep things interesting to talk about.
- Communicate culturally and do not take long for her to see respect from you.
The main thing is respect. You can be culturally insolent. The key word is “cultural”.
Reasons for isolation and reluctance to talk about your problems
But it also happens that attitudes from childhood prevent you from talking about problems. This occurs if parents considered the expression of negative emotions to be bad, impolite and shameful. This happens especially often in the stereotypical upbringing of boys: “Don’t cry, you’re a man!”, “Control yourself, you’re not a girl!” Girls also get it: “Don’t cry, your nose will swell, you’ll be ugly!”, “Don’t whine, mom is ashamed of you!” That is, the child is forbidden to express emotions and is not taught to analyze them and find a worthy and correct way out: tear the paper if you are angry, or take a brisk walk.
As a result, a person grows up and does not understand how and what to do with anger and resentment, and keeps them to himself. Of course, this will not affect an open and sociable child - he will still tell everyone what happened and who upset him. And the already closed introvert will withdraw into himself even more.
But when you are in pain and hard, you need to understand: it is important to think about how to relieve the pain, and not about how to look strong or comply with some unwritten rules.
Why does love flare up faster on the Internet than in real life?
An acute need for attention. If in real life there is not enough emotion, communication and attention (and many are indeed deprived of it due to circumstances), the Internet becomes almost the only opportunity to feel needed by someone.
Internet addiction. Social networks and interest-based sites draw people into the World Wide Web very quickly. Life in reality fades into the background. Because it is there, on the Internet, that (as it seems to us) we are understood, expected and loved, but at home and at work there are only omissions, quarrels and fatigue. On the Internet we have virtually impunity and can be anyone; in reality, we need to be responsible for our words and actions. Dependence becomes stronger the poorer a person’s real life.
Ease of making new acquaintances and “friends”. It's easy on the Internet. You went to a social network or website based on your interests, exchanged a few phrases, clicked on the “traditional” heart in the photo - and you were noticed. If you are original, principled and smart, you sprinkle humor left and right, and your photo shows unearthly beauty (“so what, it’s photoshop! Who knows about that?”), then you are guaranteed a crowd of fans. And there it’s not far from the favorites (with all the consequences).
Few people dare to take the first step towards dating in real life. Meeting your other half is even more difficult. On the Internet everything is much simpler. You can hide behind the mask of an “avatar” and fictitious information about yourself. You can turn into a fashion model with breast size 5 or a tanned athlete with a Hollywood smile and a Porsche in the garage. Or, on the contrary, you can remain yourself and enjoy it, because in real life you have to keep yourself in check. And it seems – here he is! So charming, courageous - smart speeches, courtesy... And how he jokes! Innocent virtual flirting flows into email, then into Skype and ICQ. And then real life completely fades into the background, because all life is in these short messages “from Him.”
In reality, hoaxes make no sense. “Hu from xy” - immediately obvious
On the Internet, you can distort your “I” ad infinitum, until the one whose speeches keep you awake at night “bites.”
The image of a person we focus on on the Internet is drawn, for the most part, by our imagination. What it really is is unknown, but we already have our own “planks” and ideas about what it should be
And, of course, a botanist in glasses, interested only in cockroaches in his aquarium, or a blurry housewife with cucumbers on her face simply cannot sit on the other side of the monitor! The more illusions, the richer our imagination, the harder it is later to realize that at the other “end” of the Internet there is a person just like you. Perhaps with knees stretched out on sweatpants, with a bicycle instead of a Porsche, with (oh, horror) a pimple on the nose.
It is easier for strangers (this happens on trains, with fellow travelers) to reveal their feelings. Ease of communication creates the illusion of mutual interest.
It is almost impossible to see a person’s shortcomings online. Even if the resume honestly says “Gluttonous, arrogant snob, I adore women, freebies and money, unprincipled, attracted, consisted, whoever doesn’t like it – a book of complaints is around the corner” - this person brings a smile and, oddly enough, immediately puts you at ease. Because it's intriguing, creative and daring. The biggest problem that virtual love can cause is the breakup of an “epistolary novel” via ICQ or mail. That is, no pregnancy, alimony, division of property, etc.
Mystery, mystery, the obligatory veil of “secret” - they always spur interest and feelings.
The benefits of live communication with people
Man is a social being. People constantly interact with each other. Communication often occurs through conversation. What is communication and how important is it for every person?
Terms of communication
Interaction between individuals is carried out taking into account certain conditions. Cultural and social foundations play a major role. Much also depends on who the interlocutor is.
For example, in one area, colleagues may greet each other with a smile or a nod (non-verbal communication). In another, a handshake is required.
It is customary to address elders by “Va”, and to managers by their first name and patronymic. Communication with loved ones and friends can be more open and emotional than with a stranger.
Communication structure
Communication has a so-called structure:
- Content. Transfer of information (knowledge, experience, skills) from one person to another.
- Target. The need that determined the beginning of contact. Needs can be cultural, moral, creative, social.
- Methods of transmitting information. There are communicative methods - conversation, interactive - joint activities and perceptual - mutual perception.
As you can see, people know how to interact with society in different ways. Various technical methods of communication are used.
Stages of communication
Surprisingly, communication occurs in a certain sequence. Here are the main stages of communication:
- Visual contact. The ability of an individual to perceive someone like himself in the objective world.
- Greetings. A sign of approval and friendliness. People greet each other with gestures or words.
- Exchange of conventions, that is, formal information. You can ask about the affairs and health of your interlocutor. If people have common, deeper topics for conversation, then the conversation will continue. If not, it will end with a gracious farewell.
Basic functions of communication
Creative communication simultaneously performs several important functions, namely:
- Self-knowledge. By interacting with others, a person gets to know himself more and better.
- Self-validation. Communication helps you feel like a complete person.
- Exchange of emotions.
- Coordination of events and achievement of agreement in joint activities.
- Transmission and acceptance of up-to-date information.
- Influence on the opponent. Obtaining a certain benefit.
- Meeting new people and finding your place in society.
Communication allows people to move forward. Helps you develop and not stop there.
Communication from a psychological point of view
Psychology considers communication to be the most important mechanism inherent in a person. This is what makes people people. Lack of communication has a detrimental effect on the human psyche. Closed people gradually become antisocial. Such individuals are absorbed only in themselves and their problems.
All this sooner or later develops into hypochondria. Psychologists do not recommend keeping everything to yourself. It is necessary to share your experiences with others. Otherwise, you can become callous and rude. Communication heals.
Features of communication
Interaction is carried out through verbal and non-verbal signals. Not only words help in communication. Sometimes just looking at a person is enough. It is easy to determine the mood of the interlocutor by facial expression, body position and gestures. For example, flared nostrils, crossed arms, and looking away indicate that the person is irritated.
The brain scans and analyzes the behavior of others and sends its findings to the subconscious. And it, in turn, tells you how to behave in the current situation. For example, is it worth starting a conversation on a particular topic? Without saying a word, a person is able to show his true face. Sometimes nonverbal communication is enough.
Types of communication
There are types of communication. Here are the main ones:
- Formal. A generally accepted form imposed by society and culture. As a rule, it consists of good-natured, meaningless greeting phrases.
- Secular. Superficial conversation using accepted, standard phrases.
- Primitive. The so-called exchange of pleasantries. Communication does not bring true benefit.
- Manipulative. Interaction is carried out with the aim of obtaining a certain benefit. A person strives to turn the situation in his direction and puts pressure on his interlocutor.
- Role-playing. Communication according to the rules. Each interlocutor has his own role. Subordination is in effect. Communication is accompanied by certain rituals.
- Spiritual. The most effective and useful form of communication. There is no place for formalities and irrepressible flattery. The interlocutors deeply understand and accept each other. Such interaction and mutual understanding reigns between friends and lovers.
Why does a person need communication?
Communication and interaction with others is the key to normal human development. Complete isolation leads to degradation. Without communication, a person will simply cease to be a person. Communication is necessary to carry out joint work activities. This is how people learn to understand each other.
In the process of joint labor activity, a person is formed as an individual. The individual is aware of his role in society. Communication helps you find like-minded people. The following factors clearly demonstrate the importance of communication:
- The ability to compare yourself with others. To a certain extent, this is necessary. Society evaluates the actions, qualities and deeds of a person. Moral barriers are being formed.
- Personal identification. By communicating with others, a person gets to know himself better and understands who he really is. Communication allows you to find confirmation of your “I” in the eyes of others.
- Positive emotions and stress management. Communication helps you better cope with negative emotions and lifts your spirit. Support and approval from others is inspiring.
The benefits of communication
There are other reasons that prove the benefits of communication. Communication allows you to reconsider your own worldview. Good advice from a friend or loved one helps you look at the current circumstances from the outside. The experience of others protects you from mistakes. By interacting with others, a person learns to make decisions, gains new knowledge and skills.
By communicating with other people, a person is able to help those in need and receive support in return. This is how friends are made. Communication expands self-awareness and improves the quality of thinking. Life is filled with bright colors and brings pleasure.
About the art of communication
It is important not only to realize the benefits of communication, but also to understand how to communicate with each other correctly. A person learns this art from childhood. First he is taught by his parents, then by his teachers, and then by his work environment. The following recommendations will help you conduct a proper dialogue:
- Look the person in the eye. Eye contact will quickly establish communication and help you find a common language.
- Consider the other person's feelings. Try not to touch weak points. Then communication will be a joy.
- Trust is paramount. It is necessary to be friendly and not doubt the veracity of what your opponent says.
The tips presented are the key to a successful dialogue.
Qualities required for communication
Social enthusiasm, sociability, friendliness, activity, desire for new acquaintances - without these qualities it is impossible to build a real dialogue. It is easier for a sociable and active person to take the first step to find friends. Social enthusiasm and friendliness allow you not to get lost in society.
Therefore, it is recommended to develop these qualities in yourself. This advice is especially relevant for introverted individuals.
Why does discomfort occur during communication?
Sometimes it's not easy to find a common language. The so-called discomfort in communication occurs in the event of psychological pressure from the interlocutor. This can be confirmed by a raised and restive tone and a desire to constantly interrupt another. But often the psychological pressure is invisible. All you get is unpleasant sensations.
Psychologists advise communicating only with those who evoke positive emotions. Then communication will be a joy.
Communication is a second wind for a person. Its absence has a detrimental effect on the individual. Regular interaction with society is the key to mental well-being .
Is virtual relationships necessary?
Freedom and risk, freshness of impressions and the illusory nature of what is happening - virtual communication has its pros and cons. Is it worth trying?
Yes, if all traditional methods of finding your other half do not suit you for objective reasons. Undiluted male and female teams at the place of work or study often create a situation of forced loneliness. There is no opportunity not only to have an affair, but also to flirt for your own pleasure. The network allows you to compensate for the lack of communication with the opposite sex.
No, if there is a sad experience of virtual relationships. Do love failures haunt you one after another? Don't waste your screen time. Perhaps this is just not your format. Look for a way to forget about the existence of virtual love: remove yourself from social networks, withdraw profiles from dating sites. Live communication is necessary. This is how you are made. There is no need to torture yourself and others with fruitless attempts to build love from hashtags.
Virtual communication is not a panacea for loneliness: there are contraindications and side effects. But for the dedicated user, the Internet opens up new opportunities in finding an ideal partner, which significantly reduces the waiting time for a meeting.
